The Bad Girl's Gentleman

= Code 10 =

The Bad Girl's Gentleman

= Code 10 =

To: Basil

4:32pm

Hey, how was your day?

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To: Basil

5:19pm

You could've just told me, Baz...

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To: Basil

7:34pm

I saw you in Sunnyside last Monday. I trust na alam mo na kung ano 'yun. s**t, Baz. You could've just told me! Am I your mistress? Kaya ba I wouldn't want to be your girl? Wag mo na sagutin. Let's just end th

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To: Basil

10:25pm

Baz, I'm breaking up with you.

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ADMIT OR NOT, EVERY GIRL IS A DRAMA QUEEN. Nakakabit na yata sa pagiging babae natin ang pagiging maarte at madrama sa kung anong simpleng bagay.

"Woooohhh!! Parrteeehhyyy!!"

It's a Friday. As usual, nandito na naman ako sa The Vibe. Getting drunk and high on alcohol. Iba't ibang kulay na naman ang sumasayaw sa harap ng mga mata ko kasabay nang pagpatay-sindi ng mga ito sa bass ng kanta.

Isa na naman sa mga panibagong kanta ang ginawang EDM ng isang DJ. Napagpasiyahan muna naming maupo sa aming booth habang nagkaroon ng panandaliang katahimikan nang matapos ang kanta.

Nawawala na naman sa pagkakahigpit ang mga screw ng utak ko. Parang nawawala úng connection ng spinal cord ko sa utak? Sarap sa feeling. I've been sober for two weeks straight akalain mo nga naman miss na miss ko na agad maging lasing.

"We missed you for the past two weeks, Gwen! Where were you?" tanong ni Mo.

"Oh, you know. Just here and there," sagot ko at inubos na ang laman ng baso ko.

"Akala namin nagpatali ka na eh," pagtawa naman nitong isa ko pang kasama. Hindi ko maaninag kung sino dahil madilim.

"Ako pa ba?" sabi ko at inabot ang shot glass bago tinungga ito sa isang lagok.

Sila lang naman ang kasama ko tuwing nandito ako sa The Vibe. They know me well enough para malaman na hindi ako iyong tipong nagb-boyfriend. Kaugali ko lang ang mga babaeng 'to. Nakikipagkilala sa mga lalaki pero hindi din sineseryoso.

True enough, pagsandal ko, tsaka ko lang napansin na may lalaki palang naka-akbay sa'kin. I turn to face him. Gamit ang paminsang pagsindi ng mga ilaw, inaninag ko ang mukha niya. Cute. Maputi at may matamis na ngiti. Painosente at mukhang anghel ang mukha na alam kong panlabas lamang.

"What's your name, sexy?" hirit na niya.

Natawa ako. Men just want the same thing. They all have their brains on their d***s. "I'm Gwen."

"Jax," pakikipagkamay niya sa'kin. "I'm a friend of Shai's."

Tumanggo ako sa kaniya. "Ostfort ka din?"

Umiling naman siya. "Pryston."

"Ang layo!"

"Don't worry, kung magiging tayo man, I'd switch schools for you." As if hindi pa sapat ang mapanloko niyang ngiti, kumindat pa siya. Oo nga, cute siya in the "good boy" kind of way.

"No," pag-iling ko. "You're not the type of guy who gets into relationships."

His free hand lands on my bare knee. Napatingin ako doon. Ilang segundo lang ang lilipas para umakyat ang palad na iyon. "True," pagsang-ayon naman niya. "But I can give you the time of your life overnight."

Natawa ako sa kaniya. Expert na siya sa ganito. Kung may tatak lang sa noo ang mga lalaki, ang sasabihin ng kay Jax "certified fuckboy".

"We can do this for one night. Pero kung hahanap-hanapin mo ko pwede naman tayong maging magkaibigan," he says and pushes stray hair off my face before placing his hand on my thigh, an inch higher than the last.

"Like friends with benefits? But I have a boyfriend."

"You have a boyfriend?" pagtawa niya. Mukhang hindi pa naniniwala kaya pinanatili kong seryoso ang mukha ko. "Are you serious?"

Tumango lang ako sa kaniya.

He smirks at me and puts his lips close to my ear to whisper as his fingertips trail a couple more inches higher on my skin. It sends goosebumps to erupt on my arms. "What he doesn't know won't kill him."

I bite my lip. It is scary that I'm actually taking this to consideration.

"Give me your phone," sabi niya at mabilis na inilagay ang contact niya gamit ang kamay na nakaakbay sa'kin. "Why are you here if you have a boyfriend? Pinapayagan ka talaga niya ha?"

"He doesn't care about me."

"Then why are you still with him?"

"It's complicated."

"You like him?"

"Of course I do."

"Or maybe because he's good in bed?"

Hindi ko napigilan at natawa ako. Kahit si Jax natawa din sa sinabi niya. Ano ba 'to? Paano ko ba sasabihin sa kaniya? "He doesn't even touch me that way."

He pulls me to his side. "I promise I'll treat you right when you're with me."

He looks honest enough. Ano, magpapabola na ba ako sa lalaking 'to? He has probably done this about a hundred times—a thousand times even. Magaling siyang mang-sales talk. Malamang ilang beses na niya itong nagawa. With his face and smooth words, I don't think he gets rejected enough para bumaba ang kaniyang self-confidence.

Sasagot na sana ako nang biglaang mag-ring ang phone ko. Jax hands it back to me.

Si Baz.

"Speaking of," sabi ko at umayos ng upo, baka sakaling mahismasan ako. I press the phone harder to my ear before I answer. "Hello?"

"Can you stand?"

Napakunot ang noo ko. Ito na naman kami sa random talk niya. Ano, maling babae na naman ba natawagan niya? Sabi na nga ba naka-tsamba lang siya noong nakaraan. "What?"

"Can you still stand?"

"I do—"

"Also, can you tell that guy to get his hands off you? Or else, I'd break his fingers."

My whole body goes frozen. What? Bigla akong nahimasmasan sa mabilis na pagtibok ng puso ko. "What are you...?

How did he...? Is he here?

"Where are you?" I demand and begin to look around but the continuous blinking of lights makes it hard for me to see.

"I'm right here."

Napababa ang paghawak ko sa phone. I don't hear him from the other end of the line. Instead I hear him not three feet away from me. Napatayo ako nang makita ko siya. "B-Baz..."

"Your boyfriend?" tanong ni Jax mula sa likod ko at mukhang sinukat si Baz ulo hanggang paa. "Seems like quite a guy. Call me when you need me, babe," sabi nito at tumayo na. He kisses my hand swiftly and smirks at Baz. "Hey, man, you ought to give your girl some. Baka iba pa unang makatikim. Ikaw pa manghinayang sa dulo."

"B-Baz—"

Hindi na niya ko hinintay na makatapos at hinatak na lang ako. "Wait, Baz, I have to pee," sabi ko sa kaniya nang mapadaan kami sa banyo.

"You're not spending one more minute here."

I twist my arm on his grip. "Pero wait lang, Baz. I really have to pee."

Pero hindi na niya ko sinagot hanggang sa makarating kami sa gilid ng kotse niya. "Get inside."

"Naiiihi na nga ako!"

His stare goes deeper. "Get. Inside."

Kanina ko pa hindi pinapansin ang maitim na aura na bumabalot kay Baz, baka sakaling makatakas ako. What is he doing here anyway? Nakipagtitigan pa ko sa kaniya but he doesn't budge. Kahit ihing-ihi na ko pumasok ako sa loob ng kotse niya at baka mamaya ipasok niya ko sa loob ng kotse nang hindi dumadaan sa pintuan.

Baz stays silent on his side of the car. Wala akong balak kausapin siya pero tinatawag na talaga ako ng kalikasan kaya binasag ko na ang katahimikan. "Pull over."

"We're on a highway."

"Baz, I have to pee."

"Just hold it in for a few more."

Tumahimik na lang ako at baka mamaya maihi ako sa kakausap ko. But the body has a mind of its own sometimes. When we pass on a closed gas station and I see the toilet sign from afar, it seems like my bladder goes loose on its own.

I can feel the hot liquid soaking my underwear then on my dress, down to my legs and it seeps on the straps of my shoes.

I f*****g peed in my boyfriend's car.

I start to laugh. Hindi ko na napigilan.

Baz takes a glance my way.

"My pee doesn't smell like anything, does it?"

"What?!!" Baz asks, his eyes bigger than saucers. "You...you—"

"I told you that I badly need to pee!!"

Hndi ko na napigilan at natawa na talaga ako. It feels so f*****g uncomfortable to be sitting on something wet but it's not like I have a choice right now. Well, I can get n***d but that'll get us arrested.

I see Baz's fingers tighten around the steering wheel. "Don't worry. I'll get your leather and carpet replaced."

I hear him sigh and suddenly he hit the brakes. "I told you to hold it for a few more."

Sa kakatawa ko ngayon ko lang napansin na nandito na pala kami sa parking lot ng Glassmount Residences. Mas mabilis pa si Baz kesa kay Edward Cullen sa pagbukas ng pintuan ko. It's funny how he looks like him. Mas pogi nga lang si Baz.

Legit.

He drags me to the elevator. It is a bit surprising that I don't sprain my ankle since I am tripping on my feet. He throws me a set of clothes when he pushes me inside the bathroom. It is his clothes of course. Another one of his sweatshirts but this one a plain white and is already too soft from too much wearing and washing. It smells like him.

He is perched on his windowsill at the end of his living room. I throw my bag on the hammock and sit next to him with a cigarette in my hand I don't realize I am holding until I am trying to light it.

Huli na ang lahat para itago ko pa sa kaniya. I can't even look at him when I mumble, "You don't mind if I smoke here, right?"

He gently plucks it away from my fingers and lights it himself. My heart almost melts when I see how perfect he does it. Tangina, may hindi ba siya nagagawang perpekto?

Oh right, he can't be a perfect boyfriend.

Pero... pero... kung paano niya ibuga 'yung usok... how could he be so sexy? What the f**k. Gusto ko na lang maiyak sa kagwapuhan niya. Bagay pala sa kaniya maging bad boy. With the current sexiness in front of me, my legs can't but shake.

He hands the stick back to me.

"Wow," I say. "I never thought you are one to know how to smoke."

"I'm old enough to be responsible for my own health."

Although Baz has given me my cigarette back, the look he is giving me... parang sige subukan mo lang malilintikan ka sa'kin kapag hinithit mo 'yan. Umiwas ako ng tingin. Sayang yosi. Mahal na sa panahon ngayon. I bring it to my lips and drag.

Wait, tama ba 'tong ginagawa ko? May mali ba sa paghithit at buga ko? Do I look like I'm an idiot?

Kinuha ko ang phone ko dahil ayoko ngang makipag-usap sa kaniya. s**t. Hindi pala na-send and message ko kay Baz kanina. Buburahin ko na sana ang message ko at harap-harapan ko na lang sasabihin.

Kaya lang... ang lasing kong utak, imbis na backspace, pinindot ang "Send". A second later, we both hear the faint notification sound of his phone.

He jumps from the sill to look at his phone. "Throw that. We should sleep already."

Shit. s**t. s**t.

Pero wala na. It's not like pwede ko pang bawiin 'yung text ko. Isa pa, para magkaalaman na kami. He is already walking to his bedroom when I decide to follow him. I don't think I'll be sleeping on his bed tonight--and not ever anymore. Aalma na sana ako kung hindi lang siya nagsalita.

"See this baby?" tanong niya at tinuro ang isang frame sa ibabaw ng headboard niya bago sinimulang ayusin ang higaan. "I fetched him from the airport a few days ago. He's the sweetest thing. It's a good thing he took after his mom and not my brother."

"What?"

"He's my first nephew. Can you imagine how old that makes me feel like? Anyway, I think you'll like him. I'll call you when I get my hands on him again."

Napakunot ang noo ko. Wait... what is he talking about? I know English and Filipino pero bakit parang alien language ang sinasalita ni Baz. Am I that drunk? Or sobrang lasing ko nag-pass out na ko at nananaginip na lang?

Nakapasok na siya sa ilalim ng kumot niya nang abutin niya ang kaniyang cellphone mula sa nightstand.

Shit.

My body's first impulse is to get the phone away from him as possible at any cost. So that's what it does. I lunge for the phone. Pero mabilis din ang reflexes ni Baz at mabilis niya itong naitaas sa ibabaw ng ulo niya.

He looks really surprised when I look at his face. Mabilis na nag-init ang mukha ko. Yet, I still have to prevent him from reading the message I sent him. I make another grab for his phone and successfully got it. Ang bilis ng t***k ng puso ko na kinikulang ako sa hininga. I don't even notice our position until I am clutching his phone tightly.

I am straddling him; my legs on either side of his body. My chest is almost on his face! I am almost sitting on his pelvic area and I blush harder.

Tangina, ano ba 'to?

Nandoon pa din ang gulat sa mga mata niya nang ibaba niya ang mga kamay niya sa bewang ko at pumisil. "Ba—"

"What's your passcode?" mabilisan kong tanong para hindi na niya mapansin ang kahihiyan ko.

Napataas naman ang kilay niya. I know he isn't going to give it to me. Sino ba naman ako para malaman ang code ng phone niya? Phone contents are something way too personal to share with your girlfriend.

"Please? Ako 'yung nag-text. I didn't intend to send it and you don't have to read it."

He shifts in his seat and furrows his eyebrows in confusion. "What did you say?"

Umiling ako sa kaniya at tinago ang phone sa likudan ko. "Please, Baz..."

"We can do this all night, Gwen," he says. "Hand it over."

Umiling akong muli. I am getting nervous. Ilang beses ko lang narinig na lumabas sa bibig niya ang pangalan ko at tuwing naririnig ko iyon natatakot talaga ako.

I bite my lip. Sabihin ko na lang kaya? Kesa naman mabasa niya pa. Pwede ko na lang sabihin at i-delete 'yung message dahil ibibigay naman niya ang passcode niya kapag nalaman na niya kung tungkol saan. Right?

Baz makes a move to get it from me.

"Don't!" pagpigil ko sa kaniya. "I swear, I'll smash your phone. I'm not kidding, Baz."

Matagal siyang tumingin sa mukha ko, malamang sinusukat kung seryoso ba ako sa mga pinagsasabi ko. I don't want to break his phone of course! Pero kung iyon lang ang solusyon para hindi niya malaman na gusto ko nang makipag-break sa kaniya, I'm willing to go as far that. Sana lang sa isang pagbato ko ng phone niya sa sahig ay mabasag na ito kaagad.

He gives up and scrunches his face with one of his hands. "0-4-0-4-9-4."

Tumayo ako dahil baka mamaya tsaka niya kuhain sa'kin kapag binubuksan ko. I wait by his divider. After I delete my message, naglakad na ako pabalik ng kama niya. Wala namang laman ang messages niya. Sa katunayan, pangalan ko nga lang ang nandoon. Matutuwa na ba ko?

"I'm sorry," I say as I hand back his phone.

"What was that?" tanong niya sa'kin habang inilalapag iyon sa nightstand. "Can't you give me a hint?"

"It was something bad."

"And...?"

"Basta!" I snap. Sa kakatanong niya mas lalo lang akong nag-guilty na ewan eh. Para makabawi ako sa kasalanan na hindi naman niya alam kung ano, I move closer and hug him. Hindi man niya aminin alam kong nagtatampo siya. Kung hindi man tampo, konting inis at galit. "Sorry na."

Hindi siya sumagot. Kita mo na?! He closes his eyes and lets it rest against his head board.

"Sorry na..." pangungulit ko. Siya lang ba may karapatan na mangulit para sa isang kapatawaran? Mas mabigat nga mga kasalanan niya sa'kin eh! Wait, may mas bibigat pa ba sa Attempted Break Up?

"Bazzz!" I say and pull at his arm.

Still no response. Hindi ko siya makukuha sa pangungulit.

Lesson 2: Kapag hindi makuha sa pangungulit, idaan sa paglalambing. (Minsan vice versa).

I hug arm to my chest and put my chin on his shoulder. Nag-pout ako kahit hindi niya ko nakikita. I look ridiculous but I need his forgiveness. "Baby..."

Then he mumbles something too fast for my ears to catch.

"What?" marahan kong tanong.

"It's the first time you called me that."

Nag-isip ako. "Is it?"

Seryoso ba?

"Yeah," he whispers.

I grin. Ang tanda ng tao ni Baz pero gusto niyang tawagin siyang "baby". How childish. Hahaha! Pero hindi ko pwedeng tawanan dahil iyon ang magsasalba ng gabi ko.

"Sorry na, babyyy..."

Umayos ako ng upo dahil parang hindi effective.

"I'll sing for you na lang. Game ah? Sorry na kung nagalit ka. Di namaaaaan sinasadyaaa. Kung may nasabi man ako.... kapag ako'y iniwan mo, mamatay ako. Pagkat hawak mo sa iyong kamay ang puso ko."

Kinuha ko pa 'yung kamay niya at nilagay sa dibdib ko for special effects. s**t. Kailan pa ko nangharana? Wtf.

He finally opens his eyes and suddenly I'm filled with warmth, like he suddenly hugged me with his eyes. "You sound good."

Hindi ko na pinansin. "Sorry na kasi..."

"I know. Let's just sleep now. I'm really tired."

He cuddles me up his chest just like how he always does and one of my hands rests on it, feeling his bodily warmth under my palms. I want to keep quiet since he wants to rest. Ano ba naman kasing kagagahan ang nangyari sa'kin ngayong gabi. Hay nako. Hindi na talaga ako magpapakalasing. Ever. Period. (No erase. Char!)

Baz falls asleep instantly. Niraramdam ko kasi ang paghinga niya. I badly want to wake him up pero masyado ko na nga siyang naistorbo para sa isang gabi dahil sa katangahan ko. Ayoko siyang saktan pero gusto ko siyang sapakin. This wouldn't have all happened if he told me that he was going to pick up his nephew last Monday.

Isa din naman kasi ako... hindi manlang ako nagtanong.

I pull away slightly just so I can see his face. Parang proportional na proportional ang sukat ng mukha niya. How can life be so unfair? Pero itong mukhang 'to... feeling ko ang daming problemang kaakibat.

I nuzzle up against his neck. Hay nakooo...

Unang babae pa lang 'to. Ilan pa kaya ang susunod?