Cure To Her Heart

5- Crazy, Loca

Skylar

The room goes ominously silent.

I stand still, giving them time to process the news.

“Wh…What do you mean?” Bethari stutters, her eyes filling up with tears.

“But your genetic test came back negative.” Soon whispers.

I find the nearest chair and plop down on it.

I roll my lips and rub my hands down my thighs, a poor attempt to calm my nerves.

“I have stage 2 breast cancer…” I say and narrate everything that happened since the fateful day I felt a lump during my self-exam.

“Ssi-bal, It is happening again… Why is it happening again!?” Soon, my cousin laments.

“How are you feeling?” Bethari asks.

“I’m not sure… I just found out today and don’t know what to do…”

“You fight!” Anya says. “You fight tooth and nail, Sky!”

“I will fight.” I nod, my chest tightening.

“Not with this attitude! You fight to win!” Anya insists.

“You know how unpredictable this f*****g disease is!” I grumble.

Everyone starts talking at the same time, shouting advice…yelling encouraging words… I don’t listen though… My heart is pounding in my ears, and I feel on the edge of a nervous breakdown.

“Stay with me, Sky.” Bethari pleads. “Breathe. Just breathe”

I take a deep breath, inhaling and exhaling a couple of times until my heartbeat falls back to normal and I can hear the prattle around me again.

“So, where do we start? Freezing your eggs?” Soon asks.

“You are going too fast girls. First, I need to see what is covered or not by my insurance. Remember how hard it was to find the funds for mom’s treatment because the insurance did not cover the whole treatment nor the mastectomy… I have no idea what they cover for fertility treatment and egg harvesting.”

“Don’t worry about the money. I will check with your insurance for the mastectomy and the fertility treatment.” Bethari proposes.

“I think I should drop the fertility treatment. Anyway, surrogacy cost is a 6-digit cost and will never have this amount!”

“We don’t declare defeat before trying! I will check your insurance and if needed, I will set up a gofund account for you.” Bethari insists.

“Perfect. Then, the next step is fertility preservation. I can help you with the hormone shots.” Joan proposes.

“When is your next appointment with Doctor Mary? I will go with you.” My cousin Soon says.

My heart swells at their unconditional support and I feel tears running down my cheeks.

“Thank you so much, girls.” I say, hiccupping between two sobs.

“Stop it! We are a family by choice! We stick together!” Rana, a childhood friend, smiles at me.

“We need to find you a plastic surgeon for the mastectomy. I will check them out and send you my recommendations with a summary of their experience and customer reviews.” Emma says.

“First, we drink!” Nour says, and I jump in my seat when she almost smashes a tray of liquor bottles on the coffee table.

“Nour! Are you serious?! Now is not the time.” Bethari scolds her little sister.

“There is no better time.” Nour retorts as she fills up shots of tequila. “Raise your glasses girls.” She says, and we all follow suit. “I raise my glass to another one in our family beating cancer! f**k Cancer!” She yells.

I laugh shaking my head and drown my drink.

“f**k, it burns!” I hiss. “Another one!” I ask for a refill.

“Dammit! I am going to miss your t**s!” Nour slurs, drowning her seventh… Or was that her ninth shot? I lost track.

“I was always jealous of your tits.” Nour adds.

“The most action those t**s will get will be during surgery.” Anya jokes, giggling loudly.

“T’as pas tort!” I laugh at my predicament.

“Raise your glasses, girls! Raise your glasses to me dying a virgin!” I yell, raising my glass.

This is what happens when you are a hopeless romantic and want to wait for true love… Cancer f***s you over!

“f**k No! You are not going to die any time soon now and you will definitely not die a virgin!” My friends boo me.

“C’mon girls! You know how it is!” I lean in, to whisper the secret. “Men are pigs.” I hiss.

The girls giggle.

“Not my Erik.” Bethari says, her cheeks flushed.

He is the king of the pigs. Did I say that out loud? No? Good.

“You will beat cancer, Sky! You will beat it and then you will find love.” Emma says.

“You know that’s not true. Who would want an infertile woman… without breasts, with a scarred body, and on a long-term hormone therapy that has side effects worse than chemo itself!” I mutter.

Everyone starts yelling at me, convincing me that love is around the corner… that love knows no bounds, not even cancer.

Oblivious naïve girls…

“Shhh. Girls! Shhh! I got it!” Nour yells, a shot of tequila in her hand.

We all stare at her, waiting for whatever craziness will spew out of her mouth.

“Skylar will lose her virginity before starting her treatment!” she says assertively before downing a shot of tequila.

I howl with laughter. That must be her craziest idea ever!

It takes me a couple of seconds before noticing that I am the only one laughing.

I look around and everyone is looking at me, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

OK, now we can officially say that everyone is past drunk!

“Are you crazy!? You cannot possibly support this ridiculous idea!” I shout, standing up and pacing in the middle of the room.

“Why not?” Anya asks.

“You cannot be serious! I cannot put my treatment on hold to go out on dates and search for love! You don’t start a relationship whilst starting chemo!” I shake my head at their silliness.

I never had time for dating and going out. I doubt I have the time for that s**t now. If I am being honest, I was never interested. My mind was not into those normal, yet futile, teenage concerns given that mom had been in and out of the hospital for the past ten years. I was my mom’s primary caretaker, and I was living in fear of losing her.

“Who said anything about love, silly girl!” Nour says.

I frown, staring at her. The alcohol-induced fog surrounds my brain and I need time to process her words.

My eyes double in size, when I finally get it.

“Eww! I waited for true love to just go and bang the first guy I see!” I scrunch up my nose.

“Not the first guy. The first hot guy!” Soon grins.

“Who is on board the mission finding a hot guy for Skylar?” Bethari asks, laughing hysterically.

The girls erupt in cheers, and I look in disbelief at Soon and Bethari: They usually are the voices of reason in our group.

“Stop drinking. Both of you! And stop enabling Nour’s folly!” I scold them.

“C’mon, Sky! What do you have to lose?” Soon asks.

Umm… My virginity?!

Not that I am attached to it per se, but I know I cannot just sleep with the first guy I see! However hot he is!

“I know you are not a one-night-stand kinda gal, but, Sky, YOLO… Carpe Diem … One Life…” Nour encourages me.

I knew Drunk Nour was loca but it seems highly drunk Nour is philosophical!

“Your body deserves to be worshiped before it goes to war.” Anya pitches in.

“Plus, cancer will f**k up your libido. It might never be like before.” Emma says.

“I think this is a fib…” I claim.

“Nope, I read a lot of articles about it.” Emma insists.

“Hypothetically, let’s say I go along with your crazy plan… How am I going to pick up a guy? I am clueless.” I sigh.

“You are a girl, silly! You just need to go into a bar and look sexy and men will be all over you.” Bethari explains. “Just say yes and we will help you prep’ for this special mission.” She winks.

I know I am going to regret it… I know it… Yet, I nod.

Here goes nothing!

T’as pas tort: French for you are not wrong

Ssi-bal: phonetic Korean for Fuck

~*~Author's Note~*~

I am back! Well partially. Workload was too much the past weeks and will continue like that until end of November. So I will update once a week for now. Thanks a lot for sticking around and for your patience and support :-) I have a lot in store for you... and for Andrew & Skylar :-) So stay tuned!

Next update on Saturday

xx