BROKEN VOWS (Broken Redemption Book 1)

Chapter 11

Lucas

“There fucker. Now you look semi-human again,” Parker snorts as he brushes away the trimmed hairs from the back of my neck.

“Yeah? Well, I’m still a prettier fucker than you.”

“Please! Only reason you look this good is cause you’re here, letting me work my magic. Now shut it and hold still so I can tame this thing.” He tugs on my beard, taking his tools and preparing to work his so-called “magic” on my face.

I can’t remember the last time I had a fresh cut, let alone a shave. It was probably a few weeks before that last mission. After the rescue and ensuing hospital stays, grooming was less than an afterthought since I had more than enough problems on my plate. I was broken, both physically and mentally, not to mention I barely had a grip on reality. As I progressed through recovery and rehab, not recognizing the man in the mirror meant the state of my appearance mattered even less. Until this morning, when for the first time I looked at that man and was curious to see what lay underneath the unkempt hair. As I stood there, a part of me wondered if by transforming my face to look as it once had, maybe then I’d look and feel more connected to the old me.

Thinking on it now, the decision to change my appearance might have something to do with my re-entrance into my old life. As if re-examining that original trauma has me wanting to dig deeper to reclaim whatever’s left of the man I once was. Both the part I’d given up when I abandoned my life after the fire, as well as the part of me I gave up on before leaving the VA Hospital when I came to accept that my friends and teammates were dead and that the woman I loved and the family I thought we had never existed. The doctors said it was the trauma I suffered at the hands of my torturers that caused my disassociation, but a part of me wonders if what broke me was the reality I was the only one to survive, and that after all of that, I had no family to go home to.

“I thought the Navy had strict grooming standards,” he adds with a smirk. His hand expertly maneuvers the beard trimmer from the front of my ears down towards my neck. “How the hell did you let it get like this?”

“I’ve had other things on my mind,” I answer, purposely evading the question. Based on the look he gives, I can tell he wants to know more, but he lets it go. “How about you? How did you end up cutting hair with your old man?”

“Now that’s a crazy story. Senior year, I was offered a football scholarship to Florida State. Played wide receiver there for three years before I got a girl pregnant. To make a long story short, she didn’t want the baby, and I did. So, by the time my daughter was born, I had transferred to the barber school up in Lakeview, and my little Sky and I moved in with my parents. My girl is 10 years old now and leaving football to raise her is the best decision I ever made.”

My jaw hangs open in disbelief as I try to picture the crazy man-w***e I went to school with, leaving the football jock lifestyle he loved so much to raise a kid.

“Don’t look so shocked. I had my fun and honestly, all it took was a grainy black and white ultrasound image of my Skylar, and I knew she was everything I could want.”

“Sounds like you’re a great dad, Parker. And her mom?”

“She pushed her out, then refused to see her. Signed herself out of the hospital three hours later against doctor’s orders, and disappeared, never to be seen or heard from again.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal. The smile on his face never falters. “Anyway, it’s for the best. I’m all Sky has ever known, and she’s doing alright. We take care of each other, and she has my mom and sister, so she’s not completely without female role models.”

“Christ, Parker. That must have been hard.”

“For a while, but it’s all good. She’s an amazing athlete. Plays soccer down at the community center a few times a week. You should stop by my place sometime, maybe come along to one of her games. It’s a fun time.” Before I can give him the awkward spiel that I’m only in town for a few more days, we’re interrupted.

“Holy s**t, it really is Lucas Holt under that mess!” Ben exclaims in a loud, exaggerated tone. “Damn your good, Parker. You need to add sasquatch groomer to your repertoire of services.”

“Right? I’m a f*****g artist.”

“Guess not much has changed. The two of you still think you’re funny.” I quip, pretending to be annoyed when, honestly, I’ve missed the back-and-forth banter that happens between guys you trust. The last group of men I had this with didn’t make it home.

“And you still have no sense of humor,” Ben retorts.

“Will you look at us, boys? Back together again. We need to call Keller and get him down here. The Funtastic Four are back!”

Ben and I both groan at the nickname.

“Damn it, Parker, it wasn’t cool in high school, and it definitely isn’t cool now,” Ben says, as he smacks him upside his head.

“Where is Keller anyway? He still living in town?” I ask as Parker brushes the stray hairs from my neck and face.

“Yep, Will’s still around. He followed in his daddy’s footsteps and is now one of Ruby Creek’s finest,” he answers from behind me as he unbuttons the barber’s cape. “You’re done. Here,” he hands me a small mirror and spins me so I can use the wall mirror to inspect my hair and trimmed beard.

The man who stares back at me still feels like a stranger, but I can’t deny this is the closest I’ve felt like myself in over 16 months.

Before I can thank him, Parker looks over at Ben and asks, “What are you doing here? You’re not due back for another week or two.”

“I’m here for Holt.” I look up at him in surprise. With his gaze directed at me, he says. “Jen told me your visit yesterday went well. I wanted to see if you’re free for a drink. There’s something I’d like to discuss.”

Suspicious of his motives, I only nod. After the shrewd way he manipulated the situation yesterday, I don’t entirely trust him. He was always a controlling bastard, but the way he forced my hand with Jenny is something I refuse to let him get away with again.

After paying Parker, I exchange numbers with him while he and Ben firm up plans for a get-together this Sunday. It’s not until we’re walking out that I realize those plans involve me as well, which means pushing my departure date one more day to Monday. That I’m not upset that plans have once again been pushed upon me is telling and something I’ll need to explore later.

“Where’s Nero?”

“At the Inn.” We stop at the curb, look both ways and then cross the street toward Souder’s Bar & Grille. “Can’t believe this place is still here,” I mumble under my breath, as memories from our time spent here flood my senses.

This was my parent’s favorite restaurant, and where they took us to celebrate almost every occasion. From birthdays to anniversaries, good grades, and won games. Every time I entered those doors was with them… until now. Like a punch to the gut, that thought deflates the nostalgia that brought me to life seconds ago. Ben must notice, for he stops at my side with a look of understanding in his eyes.

“First time since…?” he asks, concern written on his face.

With a grunt, I confirm what he already knows. Not wanting to dwell on the ache inside my chest, I move past him through the doors.

As the familiar ambiance surrounds me, my lungs cinch with grief and, for a second, the possibility of an impending panic attack looms over me. But when my eyes move to the man standing at the bar, it’s like I’m back to the carefree 17-year-old I was before my world burnt to ash. With his eyes fixed on me, a lopsided smile pulls across his face. Then, like a whirlwind set free, he takes several huge strides until he pulls me into the tight embrace I never knew I needed.

“Lucas! Is this really you?” He squeezes me tighter. The familiarity of his embrace sends a tsunami of emotions clawing up my throat.

“It’s me.” I croak, doing my best to keep from falling apart.

Henry was my father’s best friend. A man I haven’t seen since the awful day we buried my parents. It was the same day I decided to leave Ruby Creek for good, so seeing him now takes me back not just to that day but to the life I had before everything changed.

Pulling back, he grabs both sides of my face and looks at me in awe. “You’re a sight for sore eyes, kid,” he playfully slaps one side of my face before letting go. “Come. Let’s get you both taken care of. You here to eat or drink?”

“Drink, Mr. Souder. The bar will do.” Ben responds.

Following Henry toward the bar, Ben directs us to the farthest end, which I’m grateful for since the vantage point offers a clear view of both exits. It goes a long way to easing my anxiety.

For the next few minutes, we order our drinks, making small talk with Henry until another bar patron calls for him. When he leaves us, Ben and I sink into an uncomfortable silence. I can tell he has something on his mind and whatever it is, I have a feeling I’m not going to like it.

“Jen told me the meeting between the two of you went well and that you’re coming to Sunday dinner.”

“Yep…” I put the cool glass to my lips and take a long pull of my whiskey. I can sense I’ll be needing a lot more alcohol to get through this exchange.

“She said you explained why you left and that she understood. That she told you about the baby and asked you to keep your parent’s house.”

“Is there a point to this, Ben?” I snap. I’m fresh out of patience after the way he handled me yesterday and the way he’s trying to handle me now.

“There is.” He clears his throat, before swallowing down his glass of whiskey in one go. When he slams the empty cup on the bar, he exhales loudly. His face scrunches up for a second from the burn of the alcohol. With his eyes staring off into the distance, he continues. “She wants you to stay.”

“I know. I told her I can’t, but that when I leave it won’t be like the last time. She and Embree have my number now. I intend to keep in touch and come back to visit from time to time, including after the baby is born.”

The shake of Ben’s head tells me he’s not pleased with my answer, which only pisses me off more.

“Get to the f*****g point and say what you gotta say. Sitting there shaking your head and hinting at s**t ain’t the way, man. I came here out of respect for my sister, but if you can’t handle this conversation like a man, then I’m out.”

When I go to stand, he lays a hand on my forearm and leans in. “Just answer me this. When you leave here, tell me you have something to go back to. A job. An apartment. A girlfriend, or hell, I’ll even accept a pet goldfish. Just give me something. Anything to show you’re leaving to go back to some sort of life and not because you’re running away from the people who love you and need you to be here.”

Who the f**k does he think he is? How dare he make assumptions when he has no idea the hell my life has become? Does he think leaving here is f*****g easy? Does he honestly believe being away from this place all these years didn’t come at a price? I suffered. I’m still f*****g suffering as a direct result of leaving the only place that’s ever felt like home.

Sick of how this discussion is making me feel, and needing to put distance between us before I do something I’ll regret, I stand. Reaching into my back pocket for my wallet, I toss a few bills on top of the bar. As I go to walk past him, he grabs the crook of my elbow.

When I spin around and get in his face, he says, “I’d like to offer you a job. Not working for me but alongside me. I’d bring you on as a partner. I’m offering you the opportunity to start a life here because the woman I love more than life itself needs you. You’re a proud man, and I respect that. You were my best friend before you left, and as I stand here and breathe, I consider you my friend now. This isn’t a handout man, it’s a help-up. We’re family, which makes whatever is good for you, good for us all.”

Letting me go, he takes a step back and then reaches for his wallet. As he tosses a few bills next to mine, he adds, “I don’t need an answer now. It’s an open-ended offer. Just reach out when you’re ready and whatever you want, it’s yours.”

With that, Ben takes his leave. Leaving me floundering in his wake, slack-jawed and at a loss for words.

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Author’s Note:

Surprise, surprise. Ben strikes again! While Lucas is the hero of this story, Ben will become the heart of this entire series. He is the one who keeps his friends together and whole. The person who protects and defends those he loves with the passion of a warrior. Though his tactics sometimes frustrate Lucas, deep down he knows his friend is "mostly" always right.

Want to know more about Lucas's childhood friends Will Keller & Parker Lewis? Check out the prequel THAT FIRST BREAK. (Available FREE. See my profile.)

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