Chapter 12

4574 Words
Emilia Pulling up to the house where I grew up is always bittersweet. Memories of my father and the amazing man he was still linger here. George Carmine Barrett was as radiant as a living soul could be. Everywhere he went, he brightened up the world around him. Every moment spent with him was like experiencing life in high definition. He was so full of color that his personality came through, even in the way he painted the walls of this old house. Every room had its color, each named by its hue rather than its function. Raised by the luminous man that was my father, and surrounded by all that splendor, the world that I knew was a beautiful place. That all changed after my 16th birthday. It started with the sudden death of Lucas’s parents, and things got progressively worse when Lucas disappeared. Not long after, the tragic news of my dad’s terminal diagnosis confirmed my life would never be the same. Stage IV pancreatic cancer was a death sentence. Six months is what the doctors gave him when it was first discovered. That was two months before Lucas’s parents died and he went missing. Knowing the toll that much loss would have on Jen and me, Daddy fought like hell to stay around for as long as he could. He battled bravely through the hopelessness of terminal illness, so he could put some distance between the tragedies for us. His last ten months on this earth were used to prepare Jen and me for life without him. He lived double the time the doctors predicted, because of how resistant he was to giving up the fight before we were ready. In short, when Lucas left, my beautiful world stopped spinning. But Daddy’s death, that was when that beautiful, amazing, colorful world I’d grown to count on, officially faded to gray. As for Mom, she was always distant when it came to me, and that distance increased tenfold after my father’s passing. For the first few months, Jen and I barely saw her. Most of the conversations between us happened over text messages or voicemails. About six months after Daddy died, we came home from school to find Harold sitting in our living room. That was the night Mom told us that Harold was moving in and that they planned to get married the following summer. It felt like the ultimate betrayal, both to the memory of my father and to me. I was still deep in the throes of grief, and my mother’s indifference was devastating. “Okay girls, you can unbuckle yourselves. I’ll be right there to let you out.” Stepping out of my car, I look around the driveway to get a sense of who’s arrived, but it’s the black Chevy SUV parked at the curb that captures my attention. Memories of sitting in that car next to him six days ago come flooding back. Remembering the easy way he reached for my hand when we first got in, to the goosebumps that raced over my skin at the feel of his touch. I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t acknowledge that the connection we once shared is still there, alive and beating. Pulsating with longing to reclaim everything that was lost, everything that was unfairly stolen from us. Nothing could have prepared me for how it would feel to see him again. To finally hold him in my arms. To breathe him in and soak in the warmth of his presence. It was incredibly intense, and there were moments when it felt like I was hanging precariously over a ledge of impending betrayal. And while nothing technically happened between us, I can’t help but wonder how far I would have let things go if Lucas was a different type of man. I’m ashamed to admit that within minutes of getting into his car, I gave in to the feelings he invokes in me. Tired of the constant strain that is the situation with Creed, I opted to pretend that part of my life didn’t exist. Not my girls per se, but the vows I made. The rings on my finger. The unsigned divorce papers at the bottom of that drawer, and most important of all, the fact my husband left me and then disappeared. I know it was selfish, but a part of me knew I could count on Lucas’s strong moral code to keep us from crossing lines that shouldn’t be crossed. It’s who he is and for once, I gave myself permission to just be. To not think. To not be weighed down by responsibility, loyalty, and duty. It was short-lived, however, for nothing can change the fact that I am married and bound to another man. And even if that man isn’t bound to me in the same way, I’m the one who refused to sign the divorce papers that would have set us both free. On that principle alone, I have no right to go behind my husband’s back and betray my marriage vows. Opening the back driver’s side door of my CRV, I reach for Mally’s hand and help her out. “Good job, baby girl,” I tell her, before looking over at her sister, who’s still in the car. “Lyssie, can you grab your bag for me?” “What did you bring for us?” Lyssie asks as she hands me the pink and purple backpack. Then, with an exaggerated jump, she hops out of the car. Her enormous sigh of relief when she sticks the landing makes me smile. “Well, since Auntie Jen and Auntie Nell love to color, I brought your crayons and coloring books. Oh, and your iPads which you can have after you eat all your dinner. The veggies too.” “Yay, yay, yay. I’m going to eat everything. All my veggies, even if they taste like poo!” Lyssie skips ahead of us, bouncing excitedly while Mally, who’s holding my hand, beams in wonder at her big sister’s antics. “Lyssie Baby, no potty talk,” I correct. “Now remember, we’re here to meet Uncle Lucas. He’s not used to bouncy little girls, so let’s keep the ants in our pants under control. Oh, and remember, inside voices, please.” “I’ll be super, super quiet.” With her pointer finger against her lips, she whispers loudly, “See, like this, Mally.” She coaches her baby sister, who, by the way, hasn’t said a single word since leaving our house. “We can’t be loud.” She loud whispers again, and no matter how hard I fight it, I can’t help but chuckle at my over-the-top daughter. “Great job. Now. Are we ready?” I look toward Mally and wait for her to give the okay. When she nods, I open the unlocked door. Immediately, we’re greeted by the sounds of laughter and the smell of home-cooked goodness. When we enter, Alyssa runs ahead towards the living room. Alone with Mally in the foyer of my childhood home, I take a second to look around. When Daddy was alive, this was the sunshine room. With its bright yellow walls, cherry wood entry table, and the big colorful flower arrangements he replaced every week, this was the most welcoming room in our house. Unfortunately, a few days after Mom broke the news of her engagement, the colored walls and the happiness that existed in this house disappeared. Now, with its plain white walls and barely there decor, the place no longer feels like home. There’s no life here. No contrast of any kind. No joy to be found in a place that was once larger than life. “There she is. Come here, my sweet Mallory” With her sing-song voice, Mom prances into the room. Reaching for Mallory, she lifts her into her arms, in the process forcing her little hand from mine. “Mom, be careful. She’s too big for you to be picking up.” “Nonsense, right Mallory? Grammy can pick you up whenever she wants, can’t she, baby?” She tickles Mally under her chin, eliciting a small smile from my sweet, shy girl. When mom turns to head into the living room, Mally panics. Her little eyes go wide with fear, and she thrusts her hands in my direction as she emits a scared whimper. “Mom, wait.” I step ahead, blocking her way as I reach out to take my daughter from her. “Here, let’s let her walk. Remember, it takes her a minute to get comfortable. She’ll lead the way when she’s ready. Right Mally baby?” I give her a soft smile, gently squeezing her little hand for added reassurance. With a heavy sigh, Mom releases my daughter. Her pinched lips and heavy scowl communicate her displeasure. Preparing for the inevitable critique of my parenting skills, I brace. Surprisingly, she only shakes her head and stomps out of the room back to her guests. Relieved to have averted the confrontation, I squat down to Mally’s eye level. “How are we doing, sweet girl?” I tuck a loose strand of her brown hair behind her ears. “You ready to go in and say hi? Remember, you know everyone here. The only new person is your Uncle Lucas, and he’s super nice. Plus, I’ll be with you the entire time. Sound good?” Big brown eyes, identical to my dad’s, stare back at me. I watch in awe as she works through her anxiety. When she gives me a shy grin and a nod, I stand up and take her hand. When Mallory and I cross the threshold into the living room, all conversation stops. Warm heat radiates over me, the source of the sensation coming from the corner of the room where Lucas stands next to my stepfather. The first thing I notice is that he’s changed his hair. The sides are cut into a tight fade, while on top, his sandy blonde hair is curled into messy waves. His beard, now trimmed closer to his face, is still full in the sexiest kind of way. But those eyes, the windows that are the gateway to his soul, remain the same. No matter what the rest of him looks like, they are the most attractive part of him. When our gazes meet, it’s like everything around us disappears. My heart stops. The tether that binds us freezes my body in place. Like an out-of-body experience, I feel an intense pull. Like there’s a part of him calling out to a part of me. It lasts only a moment. The spell broken when Harold opens his mouth to chastise me. “What is wrong with you, girl? Why are you staring at him like that?” My stepfather’s condescending tone is like a bucket of iced water. My cheeks heat, the embarrassment coursing through me as I try to recover. “It’s bad enough you kept us all waiting with your lateness. Stop making everything so damn awkward.” Looking over at my mom, he says, “She’s here. Now can we eat?” “Harold honey, don’t be rude in front of our guests.” Mom comes to stand beside me. “It’ll be another minute.” Without bothering to look at me, she takes Mallory’s hand from mine and then calls to Alyssa. When she reaches her other hand towards her, my outgoing girl runs forward to take it. Even standing behind her, I can see Lyssie’s little body vibrating in anticipation of whatever exciting thing is about to happen. “Uncle Lucas, let me introduce you to my beautiful granddaughters. Alyssa May and Mallory Raine. Girls, this is Aunt Jen’s big brother, Uncle Lucas.” Mom steps forward, pulling the girls closer to him. With a gentle smile, he squats down in front of them. My hand comes up to my mouth as my eyes well with emotion at the sight of him making himself smaller. At 6’ 4” he towers over them. For Mallory, who’s not only tiny but terrified of strangers, the move helps put her at ease. It’s then that I remember how good he was at reading people and anticipating their needs. It’s the quality that made it easy to fall in love with him. He saw me. All of me. Deep down to the parts others always missed. When he shakes Lyssie’s little hand, and then Mally allows him to do the same, it proves his special attention has done the trick. “It’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard so many great things about you both.” When his eyes meet mine, the look of reverence on his face sends tingles up and down my spine. “And your Aunt Jen was right. You’re both as beautiful as your mom.” “Okay girls, what do you say we go take our seats and get ready to eat?” Mom asks them. “Wait, Grammie, I want to meet his doggy too!” Lyssie jumps up and down, stopping only when she sees the look of disappointment on Lucas’s face. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. He’s not used to many people, so I left him at the Inn.” When Alyssa’s face falls, he looks over at me. I can tell he’s unsure of how to handle the situation. “That’s okay. Maybe we can meet up at Ruby Creek Park another time?” I ask him hopefully. His mouth twists up into a relieved grin before he turns his attention back to the girls. “He would love that. I’ve been meaning to take him out to explore the trails. Would you girls mind coming with us? Maybe you can show us around the next time we’re in town?” “Yes, yes, yes!” Lyssie exclaims while jumping up and down, her brown pigtails bouncing around her face. “I’m good at knowing where to go. Momma, Mally, and I go there all the time.” Lucas chuckles at her outburst before telling her. “Perfect. I’ll talk to your momma, and we’ll make it a date. How does that sound?” My mouth drops when I notice that Mally is the first to nod her head in agreement. Though her back is to me from her posture, I can tell she’s completely relaxed in his presence. It’s something that hardly happens, especially with a man she’s never met before. “Woman! Let’s go, I’m hungry!” Harold bellows from the other room, and it takes everything in me not to roll my eyes. “Okay girls,” Mom leans down towards them as she speaks. “Pop-pop is hungry, so we better get in there. We wouldn’t want him getting any crankier, would we?” In a flurry of excitement, the girls go with my mother. My eyes follow until they’re out of sight. When I look back at Luc, I’m surprised to find him staring at me with such adoration that it brings a flush to my cheeks. Being caught in his gaze is surreal. Like a dream, it feels like I’m floating on air. When he steps closer and I catch a hint of his woodsy scent, I suddenly can’t breathe. “Your girls are beautiful,” he says in a quiet voice, his eyes leaving me long enough to scan the room behind me. We must be alone, for he reaches out and takes my hand just as his eyes return to me. The feel of his fingers on the surface of my skin sends a wave of goosebumps breaking out over my flesh. “Thank you,” I respond with a shy smile before looking away. The intensity of his stare makes it hard to hold his gaze. Nervous, my free hand reaches up for the locket hanging over my chest. It was a gift from Dad and touching it now makes it feel like he’s here, watching the fulfillment of the promise he made, that someday he’d bring Lucas back to us. “I can’t believe this is happening,” I whisper under my breath. “What can’t you believe?” Surprised he heard me, I try to decide how to best respond. Opting to go with the truth, I tell him, “You, coming back to us and giving us a chance to be your family again. Thank you, Lucas.” I take a chance and stare deep into those sea-green eyes. When I start to tear up, I attempt to look away, but before I can, gentle fingers press up under my chin. “It’s you, Embree. It wouldn’t have happened without you.” Locked onto one another, something inside me shifts. The need to be connected to him is so powerful it takes everything in me not to reach up and kiss him. I want to touch him. To breathe him in and become one with him. And the worst part is that I can feel his desire like it’s a living, breathing thing crawling over my skin. His need for me is just as strong, and I feel us both reaching the very edge of our control. It terrifies me and yet I’ve never wanted anything more. Just as I’m about to give in, fate steps in to save me from making the biggest mistake of my life. “Eeek!!! I can’t believe it! My two favorite people in the entire world are in the same room.” Jen squeals from the entrance of the living room. Lucas releases me and takes a step back. Though I’m relieved for the interruption, my heart tugs painfully at the distance he’s put between us. When Jen pulls us in for a double hug, it’s then I realize what she and Ben walked in on. The brief moment of intimacy between me and her brother… a man who isn’t my husband. I’m mortified. Not only because of the thoughts that were running through my mind. Not only because of the way my body called out for another man, but because I’m better than this. I’m married to the father of my children. A man who is missing, and whose absence I’m convinced is due to some type of foul play. He deserves my utmost loyalty and respect. That I’m feeling these things towards another makes me the worst type of human there is. I owe him more than this, and most of all, I owe it to my girls to respect and consider their father first and foremost. When Jen releases us, I wrap my arms around myself, as if the move somehow hides my deep shame. “I never thought I’d see the day when the three of us would be together again.” She beams at her brother, his arms still around her shoulders. “Now wait a minute cupcake, what about me?” Ben, Jen’s husband, steps into the circle, extending his hand out to Lucas and bringing him in for what I can only describe as a bro hug. “Hey, asshole. Nice of you to finally come home. Next time, don’t take so f*****g long,” he jokes with Lucas. “Nice to see you’re still a passive-aggressive ass. Which reminds me, I’m ready to give you the beat down I owe you for marrying my baby sister. What the f**k happened to bro code?” “Ha!” Ben turns towards his wife and whispers loud enough so only we can hear, “Wait until he hears I knocked you up too!” “Shhh, Ben!” With a playful smack to his chest, Jen chastises her husband. “He already knows, you jerk. Stop it before Aunt Muriel and Harold hear you.” At her comment, I don’t miss the way Ben winks at Lucas over his wife’s head. Something tells me this isn’t the first time these two have seen each other since Luc’s return. “So, you and my sister? Seriously, what the f**k, man?” Lucas’s smile never fades, but there’s a hint of tension hidden underneath. “When? How? I need to know, so I can delve out the proper amount of punishment. Especially since you swore there was nothing between you two.” “What? No dude, I swear, back then we were just friends.” Ben reaches for his wife, bringing her back against his chest and wrapping his arms around her. It looks like a tender move by a man who loves his wife, except for the gleam in Ben’s eyes. He’s putting on a show for Lucas, pretending to hide behind Jen because he’s afraid. “Look, for a long time, we were only friends. And then…” he turns to look at Jen with pure adoration. “One day she shows up, begging for my help and offering cupcakes as p*****t for my services. How could I say no to an offer like that? It wasn’t long before I was head over heels in love with her.” “Yeah, right. As I recall, you fell in love with my cupcakes first.” Jen croons, patting his face adoringly. “No way. You’re the only cupcake for me.” He kisses her temple, and my friend melts into a puddle. Turning his attention to Lucas, Ben continues to plead his case. “I love her, man. She’s my everything and I promise to always do right by her and our kids. I swear it on our bro code.” He smiles, then reaches a hand out to Lucas. “I’ll hold you to that,” Lucas shakes his hand. “I guess if it had to be anyone from the crew, I’m glad it was you. You were here when I wasn’t. I’m grateful for that. Thank you for taking care of her. Of them both.” Lucas smiles at his old friend before looking at Jen and then at me. “No need to thank me.” He smiles. “Anyway, give any thought to my offer?” Ben asks. Again, there is a hint of mischief on his face. From smiling to scowling, Lucas shifts his weight from one foot to the other. Curious, I look at Ben. “What offer?” I ask, my brow furrowed as I try to understand. “Big brother didn’t tell you?” Jen grins wide. “He’s thinking of sticking around for a while, and since he’s between jobs, Ben offered him one.” “I see you still have a big mouth…” Lucas directs his angry tone at his sister, to which Jen responds by poking her tongue out at him. The move is so familiar that Ben and I can’t help but laugh at the exchange. That is, until Luc’s angry rebuttal cuts through the humor. “I told you I’m not staying. There’s a lot I need to work through. I can’t make a decision like this on a whim.” “Like what, Lucas? What is it you have to work through? You don’t have a job, a family, or a significant other. You’re not in the army anymore. There’s nothing keeping you from coming home,” though her tone is soft, I can sense her frustration. She desperately wants him to stay. “Navy, not army. I was a Navy SEAL. Very different.” Lucas blows out a breath, and I can see he’s struggling to keep his emotions in check. Memories of his panic attack at the park and his frantic phone call to me earlier in the week come back to me. It’s clear Jen doesn’t know the extent of what he’s gone through, or she wouldn’t be pushing him this way. I can’t help but wonder what else he hasn’t told her. “Whatever. Army, Navy, it’s all the same to me, big brother,” I’m relieved by the change in her tone. Attempting to inject some humor back into the conversation shows, she noticed how uncomfortable he is. But then, in typical Jen versus Lucas fashion, she takes it a bit too far. “Now, if you were in something cool like the Air Force or Coast Guard…” she wiggles her eyebrows with a playful smirk. “Now that would be something to brag about.” The weight of the original conversation must have been too much for Lucas, for he doesn’t seem to notice she’s joking. Instead, his frown lines deepen, and as he goes to respond, Ben steps in to save his wife. “Dude! She’s provoking you. Man, can she still work you up!” Ben’s head falls back, and he howls in laughter. “Oooweeh! God, it takes me back. Brings a tear to my eye,” he chuckles, pretending to wipe a fake tear from his eye as he brings his wife in for a one-armed hug. “I’m glad you all think this is funny,” Luc mumbles under his breath. Though he’s trying to hide that he’s hurt, I still see it. And judging by the smiles all around us, it looks like I’m the only one who does. And I hate it. Everything in me wants to wrap him up and protect him. I want to be the one to stand at his side, helping him re-acclimate back into his old life. However, given my position, the best I can do is reach for his hand in a show of support. “That’s enough teasing for one day. If we want him to stick around, we have to respect that he knows what’s best for him.” I give Lucas a warm smile, hoping he sees that I’m on his side. When I turn back to my friends, they’re both eyeing Lucas and me curiously. Mustering a bright smile, I tell them, “Jen, be nice to your brother, and Ben, control your wife.” They both laugh and though Lucas and I don’t look at each other, I feel when his hand gives mine a gentle squeeze. He gets it. Whatever he needs, I’ll always be here for him. As his friend. Because before we were anything more, that’s what we were. It’s how I know that with a little time, we can find our way back to friendship again. Want to read ahead? The next 2 Chapters are available FREE if you FOLLOW ME on REAM!!! (Link in my profile) Please remember to like, comment, & review. For updates on this and future stories, remember to follow me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Author’s Note: From happy to brooding poor Lucas is all over the place in this scene. I love how happy he seems as he's introduced to Embree's girls, and I couldn't get enough of the banter between him, Jen, and Ben. But when pushed by Jen to return to Ruby Creek, he goes back to the angry, broody guy he was at the beginning of the book. My favorite part is how attuned Emilia is to how he feels, to the point she steps in to save him in the end. So what do you think of this chapter? What was your favorite part? I can’t wait to read all your comments! NEW CHAPTERS post at 7:00 PM EST on Tuesdays & Fridays!!!
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