LOST

Chapter 46

Ella's POV

I was still a shadow of myself, wallowing in self misery and pain, and the truth is I didn't want it any other way.

I like it here, I felt I deserved all the pain and misery I was feeling.

It was all my fault... it was all my fault I fell in love with the wrong person...it was all my fault that we all went to that cursed island... it was my fault that all my friends are died now.

So yes I deserved this... I deserved everything nature is throwing my way.

I don't deserve to live, but I don't even have the courage to end it like I'm supposed to.

I am a coward... yes that is what I am , a coward and an imposter , an imposter that is here alive and still breathing, when I don't even deserve to be.

Crying became my normal act for me, I cried even when I didn't want to, I cried every hour and every day, and even when I thought I couldn't cry any more, and my eyes are dry with no tears last to cry, I still cried.

I have been at the hotel for close to six months now, avoiding people the best way that I could, I didn't leave my room for no reason what so ever , I was in a prison that I created for myself.

But one day I was forced to leave this my little prison that I have created for myself

I opened my eyes when I heard a knock at the door

“ Ma..." I heard a voice, then another knock came on the door again.

Grumbling... I sluggishly went to open the door as I saw a woman standing by the door.

“How can I help you," I asked the lady.

“ Ma, I am the manager here and there is a report that for 2 weeks you haven't paid your bills." the lady said.

“Fuck..." I murmured to myself as I lowered my head to the floor.

“ Ma, did you hear me," the lady asked again.

“ I heard you and I would get you your money soon," I let out.

“No ma, we can't allow you to keep staying here if you don't pay up today." the lady said.

“ But..." I tried to protest.

“Sorry ma, that is our policy, you pay or you leave," the lady said.

“Alright I guess I would have to leave then," I let out lowly.

I packed up knowing I had no choice but to leave, I didn't have any money to pay my bills anymore, so eventhough I didn't want to, I knew I had to go back home.

Reaching my apartment, I opened my apartment door, an intense smell of old and dusty fog filled my nose, I wanted to step into apartment but I just couldn't, so I seat my the door as I continued to cry.

“Ella," I heard an all so familiar voice call out me.

“Ella is that really you," I heard the voice say again as I lifted up my head to look at her.

“ Oh my goodness, Ella it's really you,' Evelyn screamed as she pulled me to herself.

“What happened to you, where have you been," She asked with so much excitement in her voice.

I looked at her, and I didn't know what to say to her, so I started crying again.

Evelyn had this confused look on her face, as she lifted up my face to look at her.

“ What happened, what is going on Ella, when did you come back from your trip, where is Alex," she asked with so much concern in her voice.

“They...They," I stuttered, as I sobbed loudly.

“ Ella what is happening, speak to me," Evelyn urged me to speak.

“ Evelyn, they are all died," I let out and her eyes shone in surprise.

“ What... no that can't be possible," she let out and tears streamed down her eyes as well.

“ You all went for your bachelorette party, and I have not heard from any of you since then, so why are you saying that they are died .

“ No that can't be possible, where is Alex, she would explain this better to me," Evelyn let out .

“ Evelyn , can't you hear me, they are all died, and that includes Alex." I let out and Evelyn shook her head in dismay .

“ No that's not be possible, how did that happen," Evelyn cried out .

“Evelyn, I'm all alone now, that island took everything from me," I let out softly as I told Evelyn everything that happened .

Evelyn looked at me in disbelieve, her eyes showed that she didn't believe me, but I continued to tell her anything about the WIC company and also about Arthur's deceits, and how he went us to that island to die .

And maybe that was when, Evelyn believed me .

“ Are you being serious about this," Evelyn asked and I nodded my head,and that was when Evelyn cried even more .

“How could Arthur do this to you, he was your fiance," Evelyn said .

That was a question, I knew I didn't have an answers to, because I still couldn't understand Arthur's actions, because one minute he is being sorry for his actions then the next minutes he being an evil villain .

The image of him killing Damien was still playing so vividly in my mind. and it has been a constant source of my pain and misery to me .

“ Ella so what are you going to do no, aren't you going to report this to the police," Evelyn asked .

“ I have tried Evelyn, I have tried reporting these evil people, but no one seems to believe that , the island truly exist , they all think I'm being delusional," I let out and immediately Evelyn pulled me into her arms again .

“ That's okay, we would get through this whole shenanigans together, you not all alone okay, you have me .

I know, I am just meant to be an employee to you, but I see you as a sister and also as a friend," Evelyn said as she rubbed circle round my back .

“ Thank you," I murmured out .

“ I would be here for you. always, but first we have to get you inside, you can't stay out here like this," Evelyn said as she pulled me up from the floor .

“ I can't Evelyn... I can't go in there," I whispered .

“ I would be with you every step of the way, you can do it , I believe in you," Evelyn smiled down at me , as she slowly lead me to the door .

I took in a deep breath as I willed myself to face my demons in that apartment again.

But I asked myself if I could i live with the hunted memories of the times I shared in that apartment with Alex.

Would I be able to live with the memories of Alex and the fact that I had failed her, that I couldn't keep my promise to her of bringing her out of that island.

“Well it looks like you would just have to find out," my subconscious said to me.