LOST

Chapter 37

Ella's POV

I cried non stop, I cried so much that even when I felt that there were no tears left to cry anymore, I still cried

Alex was gone and I would never get to see her again, that single fact was like a straight bullet to my heart

it was not fair, the universe was being so cruel to me, making me pass through a situation that I wasn't ready for at all, we were just so close to our freedom, so close to the finish line, then it decided to take her away from me

“How heartless is that"

Alex had always been the strong one among us, so death should have taken me instead of her

She deserved to leave this island, she was the only one that hopes

now the hope has been taken away from her by the cold hands of death

I gazed endlessly at Alex lifeless body for hours, just hoping and praying that a miracle might happen, that she might move her feet or even twitch her eyes just to show me that she was still there but in all nothing happened hours passed by and Alex was still laying on the bed cold and lifeless

I screamed so loudly, as I punched the cave walls so aggressively

I hit the wall over and over again, wanting to inflict as much pain I could on myself

I wanted to feel something else, I wanted to feel something much higher than this pain that I was feeling right now

I didn't feel worthy to be alive and Alex was not, so I wanted the pain to take me so that I could join my best friend in the life beyond

“Ella what are you doing," I soon heard Damien's voice scream at me and soon he held on to me pulling me back from the wall

“Do want to hurt yourself," Damien asked with concern laced in his eyes

“Yes Damien, I want to hurt myself, I want to die, what I'm living for, I want to join Alex, she needs me over there," I cried

“No... Ella, Alex wouldn't want this," Damien said softly as he pulled me into his arms

“She loved you, and she would want you to cry yourself to death," Damien let out as his words was been muffled by my hair and

Everything is going to alright," he whispered as he carefully place me on a stool

“ I would get you my sleeping remedy you need to rest," Damien said and soon enough he handed me a cup of his concussion as he urged me to drink it

I wasn't in the mood to protest so I just drank the mixture, and in no time, I fell asleep but even in my dream state Alex was all I could see

She was happy here in my dream, so I begged her, so I could stay here with her in a place where there was no pain or suffering but Alex rejected me telling me that I couldn't stay, she told me that I didn't belong here, as she urged me to go back to where I came from

And just like that, I opened my eyes, I stood up quickly as I ran to where Alex was laid but she was there anymore

my heart squeeze so tightly in my chest, as I wondered what happened to her

“Damien..." I yelled out his name, but no answer

Damien, I call again, and that was when Damien walked in

“where is she," I asked as he instantly knew who I was talking about

“ I'm sorry but I had to bury her," he whispered out and I screamed

“You did what?" I yelled

“I had to do it, Alex been here was not good for you at all," Damien let out

The anger within me was uncanny, I was boiling with rage, that I didn't know what I raised my hand and slapped him

“You didn't have any right to do that, she was my first, so I choose when and how to bury her," I yelled angrily

Surprisingly Damien didn't react, as he was supposed to

he just lowered his head, saying

“I am sorry, I thought it would help you heal," he said as he walked passed me

I knew I was wrong, hitting him the way I did, and I knew I had to apologize so I walked over to him

“I shouldn't have hit you, I'm sorry," I said softly

“No I shouldn't have done what I didn't without your permission, she was your friend," Damien said and all of a sudden I burst into tears again

“She was my best friend and now she is gone," I sobbed

“it's okay, there was nothing you could do, she had lost a whole lot of blood," Damien said as he rubbed circle down my arm

“Where is she," I asked, and Damien nodded as he started walking towards a direction, as he urged me to do the same

“I buried her over here," he said as he kept walking

Soon he brought me to an open lilac garden, it was beautiful and peaceful

“ There she is," Damien pointed to a grave amidst the flowers

instantly a smile came to my face, this was where she truly belonged, in a place of peace

“Thank you," I didn't even know when I said those words to Damien

I was busily been anger at him when he knew just what Alex needed and that was. Peace

“ Come on let's get back it is not safe here, and you don't have to thank me," Damien said as he led me back to the cave

I didn't even know what to do with my life anymore, my major support and strength was gone, and now I felt strange on the inside

my sense of living and self-worth was slowly depreciating, I wasn't myself anymore, as I slowly became numb to my own feelings, I spent days just looking in into an empty space, I wasn't eating and the period I slept it was because of Damien's remedy

Damien really didn't talk to me, he only did that when it was necessary, maybe he was trying my space

A few more days had passed since Alex death, and I was still the same, I hadn't still left that spot I was in as I continued to wallow in my self misery

“Okay that's enough," I soon heard Damien yell out of nowhere

“Ella it is time , this dreadful feeling that you are having off ," he said pulling me out of my wallowing spot

“Come I'm taking you to have a shower at least," Damien orders

I wasn't in the mood to even complain or protest, so I followed him to the water

“At least, wash off the smell from your body," he said and I nodded

Damien soon left me to have a shower

I slowly took off my clothes, as I stepped into the water, the water was cold and calming , and I was slowly loving the idea

Staying inside the calming water , I closed my eyes and I saw Alex again

She looked so beautiful dressed in all white

“Alex don't leave me, come back or let me go with you," I said to her but she refused me again

Angry, I didn't want to stay here anymore , I wanted so desperately to be with her

So I moved deeper into the water, as I lost myself, to the smooth wave it gave me

And even as I felt all the air was slowly been taking out from my lungs, I didn't struggle, I didn't fight it .

I want this , I wanted peace ,this wasn't a life I wanted to live anymore , because there was no one left for me back home

Alex was the only family I had, so there was nothing to go back home to, So it was better I stayed here with her , in a pain where there was no pain , only peace existed here and right now I craved for peace for my troubled soul

But all of a sudden, air was been returned back to my lungs as I was forced up to the surface

“Ella... talk to me," I heard Damien's voice as he shook me back consciousness

I slowly opened my eyes to meet his troubled eyes

“Are you mad Ella, do you want to kill yourself," he yelled with concern and also fear in his voice

I couldn't answer his questions, so I just stared at him, as he held me so tightly in his arm

I could feel his nervous heart beating, and I don't know what came over me , maybe I was in desperate need to feel something else, to feel something stronger than this pain and hurt I feel on the inside

So without thinking about it, I pulled him down to myself , kissing him so fervently

Damien immediately pulled me away with a surprised look in his eyes

“What are doing," he whispered as he looked at me with a nervous look in his eyes

I didn't know what to say, so I was about to move away when he pulled me back to himself as he kissed me so deeply

I drowned deeper into the feeling of pure pleasure, his lips gave out, as I buried my fingers deep into his hair

Damien pulled me even closer to himself as his arms caressed my lower back

Goodness his kiss was intoxicated, and just like I wanted it made me forget, but I wanted more so I tugged at his trousers

immediately as if he knew what I wanted, he lifted me up to the edge of the water never breaking our kiss

Damien cupped my tender breast as he trailed kisses down my neck, sucking and biting as he went on

He got rid of every article of clothing he had on and without warning, he thrust deep into me with his full length

Moaning loudly, I dug my fingers deep into his muscular back as I buried my face in the crook of his neck kiss it softly

Every thrust was as intoxicating as the next, and just like that I sunk deep into an abyss of pure lust and euphoria

At that moment , it was just like I had wanted , Damien made me forget all the pain I was going through

We reached our peak together, sealing it off with a kiss as he collapsed down to the floor

After minutes of silence, Damien turned towards me

“Hey..." Damien called out to me maybe to see if I was okay ,

I didn't say a word to him I just look up at the sky , maybe the realisation that I just slept with a complete stranger was slowly dawning on me

So before I could even think, or second guess my decision for doing what I did , I quickly got up and got dressed, totally ignoring Damien as I walked back into the cave

Damien did get back for a few more hours, and I was fine with it, I didn't know how to face him after what happened

A few minutes later, he walked in

“I brought some coconut," he said softly and I could sense a hint of nervousness in his voice

“Great... thank you," I replied slowly

Damien was about to walk out again when he stopped in his tracks as he turned around to look at me

“It shouldn't be like this, we shouldn't act like strange, because of what happened, I know where I stand and I am not asking for more from you, I know all that happened between us was just out of you grieving, and I respect but we shouldn't be stranger ," he said

“ I'm sorry Damien," I said softly as I knew I was hurting his feelings

I knew I was grieving, so it was wrong using him to numb the pain

“You don't need to apologize, what happened was beautiful?" Damien smiled

“, oh, by the way, we would be leaving here in two days," Damien said

“leaving to where," I asked and he laughed with amusement on his face

“Don't you want to leave this island anymore," Damien asked and my face fell immediately

“That had always been Alex dream, I wanted to give up so many times but she didn't let me , she had hope of surviving this island and it was her hope that was my driving force, but now she is gone

So I ask myself every day, if I still have the strength to keep fighting," I whispered out

Damien soon pulled me into a hug, he hug me as if he was trying to rid me of all the pain I felt on the inside

Alex would want you to leave if you ever get the chance, she knows you are strong and so do I , so I know Alex would be happy knowing that you got a chance to leave as you both wanted to," Damien said softly

Damien said the right words and every word he said were comforting to my soul

“Thank you," I whispered

“I'm always here for you, Ella, he said as he raised my head to look at him, he soon planted a soft kiss on my cheeks that made me smile in an instant

“Now that's the smile I want to see every day," he chuckled and I blushed

“Okay so getting we are leaving at first light," he said and I nodded

...............................................

Damien and I started our journey off to the other side, I still felt sad that Alex couldn't come with us and I even felt bad for living here, but I knew I had to be strong for her because that was what she would have wanted

Damien on the other hand was a great company, he told me so many stories about his acting escapades back home, and how he was hoping to get back to it as soon as he was free from this island

We never talked about our little rendezvous by the waters and I was happy that he wasn't making a big deal out of it

Damien knew the Island so well, he knew every place to go and also where we shouldn't pass to avoid the creatures

He told me to coat in a weird mixture, in other to keep the creatures away because most of them hunt by smell and not by sight

And so far, it has been working, we have been safe from the creat and also the WIC company

We continued to travel south of the island, just keeping to a particular path in other for is not to be traced.

We have been travelling for 3 days now and so far nothing scary or out of the ordinary had happened

now, it was our four days travelling, and nightfall came before we knew it , as always we stop for the night, settling under a tree to rest

“ Why don't we make a fire, it is cold out tonight," I suggested

“ I don't think it is a good idea, we would just attract dangerous creatures to ourselves , but I brought a blanket, you can use it to cover up ," Damien said as he handed me the blanket

“What about you, you are going to freeze to death," I said and he chuckled

“Do worry about me I am fine, I can manage," he smiled and said

I nodded as I quickly covered myself with the blanket as I laid down on the floor

Where I was, I felt bad that Damien was felt out in the cold , so I up looking towards him , and like I had thought he was shivering

”Come on we can both share the blanket," I smiled and said

“No, I shouldn't impose that on you," Damien said nervously

“Nonsense... we can both share it," I said

Damien looked at me for a few minutes, maybe contemplating whether or not to agree to my suggestion

“Okay," Damien finally agreed as he came to join me

We both laid down in each other's arms , using the blanket as our shield

Damien was so closer to me right now that I could hear his heart beating so loudly in his chest

I don't know why, but I was moved to ask a silly question

“Damien why didn't want to share the blanket with me at first," I turned to him and asked

Damien took in a deep as he closed his eyes levelling his breathing

“Maybe I don't trust myself been this close to you," he whispered and my face turned red in an instant

“What do you mean," I asked as I wanted him to say more

“Yeah maybe I am just so afraid of getting used to your scent , or how soft and silky your hair feels in my hands

Maybe I am just fear that even though I know that I am not supposed to, I feel might be falling in love with you," he whispered and my breathe immediately hitched in my throat

I know, it's crazy, and I shouldn't be saying this to you, even after what happened between us.

And trust I have tried to keep it within me, I have tried to kill this weird feeling but it is obvious I can't," he chuckled softly

You wanted to know why, so this is it, this is how I feel ," he let out

I didn't know what to do or say, so I did the only thing that can to my mind

I pulled him closer to myself as I kissed him without even thinking about it.