You Broke Me

Chapter 5

Taylors POV

My dad had called. He apparently has company over tonight. His captain was coming over with his wife. I was expected to make sure the house was spotless and make sure there was enough dinner for everyone. Whether I was expected to attend this dinner or not was to be determined. If he wanted to keep up the appearance of a perfect single father, then he wouldn't have a choice. I just hope I don't f**k this up.

Amanda was furious when I got to school today. When I was attempting to put on my makeup this morning I fumbled with it and dropped it. Of course with my luck the bottle shattered and I was left with nothing. She begged me to tell someone. She had said. “When is enough, enough?”

I get her point, but there's nothing that can be done If I report it, he'd just cover his tracks. He is the police. That little voice in my head was starting to tug on my mind. Saying what will be the breaking point? Will it be when I'm cold and dead at the hands of my own sperm donor? Or will it be of other causes? I decided to shove those thoughts away. Deep, deep, way deep down. I couldn't afford to think about it. If I wanted to get out of this s**t hole town then I needed to stay focused. Earn a scholarship and leave. Dad already said he would never give me a dime. Not like I would want anything from him. I didn't want him to have anything to hold over my head. As if housing me for my whole life, feeding me, wasn't enough for him to dangle and he damn sure does.

I shake my head to rid myself of these thoughts and unlock the front door. This house used to be so full of love. So full of heart and life. I will never know what went wrong, I will never understand why things happened the way that they did.

I set my bag down next to the door and take off my shoes. Heaven forbid I track any dirt in the house.

I started dinner in the oven. I figured a chicken casserole would be enough to feed everyone. Setting a timer for 40 minutes, I get started on cleaning. Who knew a house could get so dirty as often as I clean it? It doesn't help that I'm the only one who cleans it.

The kitchen is now spotless, so I lit some candles to get rid of the harsh chemical smell. Taking out my dad's best china and setting the table. I figured it better to be safe and set a plate out for myself. I could always collect it later if I wasn't to dine with them.

I walk into the living room and bring a trash bag with me. I counted 7 empty beer bottles. How has he not damaged his liver yet? Maybe ill get lucky enough and hell drink himself into an early grave. What am I thinking? Why would I think that? He may be a bastard, he may beat me till I'm black and blue but I wouldn't wish death on anyone. I mean after all that man is my father. Without him, I would cease to exist. As awful as that sounds.

With a shake of my head, I restarted my cleaning. My dad comes barreling through the door. His usual black hair was disheveled and his grey eyes were void of any real emotions. That is until he spots me. A flash of sadness, but it's quickly masked by hatred and anger.

“Finish cleaning. Don't f**k this up for me.” he says and walks to his room and slams the door. I released a breath I didn't think I was holding. I pray to whatever god I can to help me get through tonight without messing something up. To let this night end perfectly. I can't take another night like last night. He usually avoids leaving marks where people can see them unless he is extremely angry.

The timer for dinner goes off and I pull it out of the oven and cover it with foil to keep the heat in. I go upstairs and change my clothes into something presentable making sure it's long sleeves and covers my body. The last time I dared to wear something that showed my shoulders or a hint of cleavage, I could barely sit for a couple of days.

I look at myself in the mirror and reapply some makeup to my marks, brush my hair through and look at my outfit. It's a long sleeve maxi dress. Can't go wrong with that. It's modest and comfortable. And it has pockets! Pockets were the selling point for me.

The doorbell rings and I hear my dad's voice. His voice filled with sweet honey. The tone he used to use with me before everything. I'm instantly jealous again. Why can't I provoke that kind of reaction out of him? Why can't he just love me? I was a child when my mom left. How could it have possibly been my fault?

“Taylor, we have guests. Come downstairs please,” he said ever so politely.

Dinner was going well. Conversations were flowing, people were eating, and my dad was laughing and smiling. When he smiled, he lost at least 5 years. He was genuinely a handsome man. Cade is handsome too. Where the hell did that come from? I mean yes he's got the most beautiful sandy brown hair and golden eyes that remind me of warmth and sunshine. He's just a walking, talking, heart throb. In a perfect world, I would want to be with him. In a perfect world I would have flirted shamelessly this afternoon. But this isn't a perfect world and I'm not by any means a perfect girl. I'm broken, damaged, and shattered. No one would be willing to pick up my pieces and put me back together again. Much like humpty dumpty, there were just too many cracks, too many defects. I would be forever condemned to live and be alone. But alone was good. Alone was best, Alone was safe. I wouldn't be a burden to anyone if I was alone.

I'm brought out of my thoughts with a kick to my shin. I stifle a yelp and look up. Everyone was looking at me. My dad's brows furrowed, and his jaw tensed.

Shit. Did I miss something?

“I'm sorry...” I whispered.

“Oh, it's fine dear. I was just asking if you had applied to any colleges yet? My son has started his applications and It's crazy to think yall will be graduating this year,” the woman said.

“Yes, ma’am. I've applied to a few schools. I'm hoping to get a scholarship. Who is your son? Do I go to school with him?” she smiled and nodded.

“Yes, actually. His name is Mason. Mason Williams.”

I almost choke on my bite of food. How did I not put 2 and 2 together? Now that I think about it, his dad looks just like him, the last name, it all makes sense. I take a sip of water to rinse my throat and flash my kindest smile.

“Oh, Mason. He's in a few of my classes.” I say hoping I'm coming across as nice. My dad nods at me as if approving of my save. Thank god I haven't ruined anything yet. With any luck, hell be appeased for the rest of the night.