You Broke Me

Taylors POV “When you get home, you better have dinner ready for me. If not then there will be consequences!” Dad growled at me. I've become used to his mood swings. Ever since mom left, he's changed. She packed her bags and just left. She didn't bother to take me with her, hasn't tried to contact me, blocked my number, everything. She abandoned me. I have an older brother, but he hates our dad. He left when he turned 18, joined the military, and has never been back since. And much like my mother, I don't exist to him. I am alone. He's not the dad I used to have tea parties with, or the one who came to every dance recital. “Yes, sir.'' I mumbled and kept my head bowed towards the floor. I knew looking him in the eye would earn me a punishment. A punishment I didn't want to have. Not today. Today was the first day of my senior year. The last year before I can finally leave. The last year before I could be free. I still had about 2 hours before I had to leave for school, so I gathered the empty beer bottles from the living room and threw them in the trash. The smell of them is revolting. I get a text and pull out my phone. It's my best friend Amanda. Amanda: I'll be there in an hour bebe! Me: okay. See you soon. She has been my saving grace. She knows about my home situation much to my dismay. I had walked to school one day and it started raining. I didn't use waterproof makeup. She wanted to tell someone, scream it from the rooftops. But it wouldn't do any good. My dad is a cop. No one would believe me. I swore her to secrecy after I promised her I was leaving when I turned 18. But from that day forward I made sure to invest in waterproof makeup. I wrap up my cleaning and run to take a quick shower. The pain from the fresh cut I got from last night's punishment stings once the water hits it. I bite my lip and grimace. One more year Taylor. Just one more year. I wash my long black hair and make sure to scrub myself clean. I hear a pounding on the door. “Hurry the f**k up!” he shouted. I turn the water off and wrap my body in a towel. I peek my head outside the door hoping he isn't still there. Thankfully the coast is clear. After I'm dressed, I check the time and see I have about 20 minutes before Amanda gets here. I let my hair air dry. I should probably cut it soon since it reaches my waist. I cover my scars and my marks, apply a winged liner, mascara and lipgloss. I like to keep it simple. I don't want to draw attention to myself. I put on my ripped black skinny jeans, my white long sleeve shirt, and Converse. Plain Jane is the way to go. I eye the piece of metal on my dresser. It still had blood on it from last night. I know I'm f****d up in the head, but it helps me feel. It helps me know that I am in control of my own pain. It is a release. After contemplating, I grab the razor and put it in the Altoids case and shove it in my purse. I grab my backpack and run out of the house before my dad sees me. I wonder constantly why I even bother anymore. Is this all there is to life? Am I as worthless as my dad says? Am I nothing but a punching bag for his frustrations? Will I ever be good enough for anyone? I scoff and laugh at that thought. Who would want damaged goods anyways? I'm pulled out of my thoughts by a horn honking. I jump and run to Amanda's car. “Good Morning sunshine. You look amazing today.” she doesn't ask how my night went and I'm so thankful for that. “Thanks. You too. Do you have your schedule yet?” I asked her and she shook her head. “Me neither. We can stop by the office when we get there.” she nods and I plug in my phone and shuffle my playlist. Tommy Vexts cover of Crawling comes on and I sing along. I have never sang in front of anyone except Amanda. She has tried to urge me to join the school's Chorus classes, but I refuse every year. Too much attention, too many people. We pull into the parking lot and she shuts off the engine. “Taylor, I know you hate talking about it, but at some point, I think you should. Last night was horrible. Listening to him berate you and slap you around while I was on the phone with you broke my heart. Please promise me that you will get help. Please let me help you.” she grabs my hand and squeezes it. I swipe away a tear before it falls and nod my head. We leave it at that and get out of the car. I know she means well, but no one can help me. No one. We walk towards the building and I can feel eyes on me. I duck my head and hurry my pace. My fight or flight response is always to flee. I've never fought back. Not to my dad, not to anyone. For the most part people at school leave me alone. I stick to the shadows. It's better to be invisible. We grab our schedules from the office and head to our lockers. They are right next to each other. That's how we became friends in the first place. “So we have History and Gym together. Oh and lunch! What do you have first?” she asked. “English, unfortunately.” We chat a bit longer until we hear a commotion. “Looks like the school assholes are back too.” I just hummed. Cade Thomas was their leader. He was the quarterback and team captain. As much as I hate jocks and the popular crowd I can't help but notice his boyish good looks have morphed into someone completely desirable. His sandy brown hair, brown eyes that look like molten honey, the way his muscles fill out his shirt, he even looks like he's grown a couple of inches. He puts my height of 5’0 to shame. His minions are Mason and Nick. Also jocks, but did you expect any different? Cade's eyes met mine and I instantly looked at the floor. The last thing I need is for them to think I'm staring. But aren't you though? That stupid inner conscious voice said to me. As if on queue Megan Pierce, the head cheerleader, slithered her way up to Cade and plopped a sloppy kiss on his cheek. She is snooty, rude, and lets all of her daddy's money go to her head. Her dad is the Mayor of the town and she doesn't let anyone forget it. Trinity, Megan's friend and Cade's twin sister trail behind. A finger is snapped in my face. “Are you ready to go to class? Done ogling Snooty Patootie?” Amanda snickered. I just huffed and walked to class. “I'll see you at lunch.” I mumbled and she bumped into me first. I grabbed my hoodie from my locker and walked to class. I got to english and sat in the back corner. I pulled my hood up and laid my head on the desk waiting on the teacher to get there and the rest of the seats to be filled. I am exhausted. What would 5 minutes of sleep hurt? As soon as I feel myself drifting off the door slams shut. “Good morning, class. I hope you all had a good summer break. The assignment for today is written on the board. But for those of you who seem to be too bored to stay awake Miss Shaw, please read the first 5 chapters in your books and answer the questions at the end of each chapter. You have all class to work on this. You're seniors this year. I will not baby you.” I feel my cheeks flushing. I literally just laid my head down. I lift my head after the heat from my cheeks leaves and look to see who's in the class. Of course, Cade and his followers are here. His eyes are on me and his eyebrow is raised. I tug at the ends of my sleeves and squirm in my seat. I break his stare and look around. A few others I recognise are here as well, but I pull out my book and start on my work. I feel my phone vibrate and pull it out. Dad: go to the grocery store on your way home. Make sure you get the stuff I like. I roll my eyes and shove my phone back in my pocket. Of course, he couldn't be bothered to get food to feed his child. 1 more year, Taylor. Just 365 days. Before I know it, the class is almost over. I finished my assignment and gathered my things and walked to the desk to turn it in. “Thank you, Taylor. Please try to stay awake in class.” Mr. Thompson said and I just nodded and mumbled a quiet apology. I walked out of the door as soon as the bell rang. I was on my way to lunch and got to the entrance. Amanda said she would meet me here, but she was running late. “You going in or not nerd?” Nick's voice rang out. I lowered my head and side stepped so they could go passed. “What are you afraid of? The lunch room?” Where is Amanda? I don't like interacting with others. I get too anxious then I start stuttering and I make a fool of myself. And it's better not to involve anyone else in my life. “No sorry, I'm waiting for someone.” I say quietly. I know they heard me, but they just laughed and walked into the cafeteria. “Sorry, I'm late. Stupid Mrs Parsons got mad at me because my shoulder was showing and said it was distracting.” She rolled her eyes. It's sad that teachers are more worried about shoulder showing than teaching. What is my shoulder going to turn someone on so much that it's disrupting the class? We walk in and go to our usual table and I pull out my paper bag with a sandwich and a water bottle. “That's all you're going to eat?” she asked. I nod. “I'm not super hungry." I didn't tell her that we just didn't have any other food. I didn't want her pity. I already got over my dad's treatment. She just shrugged and started eating. We talked about how our first few periods of the day went. A try slammed down on our table and a guy sat down with us. Amanda being the social butterfly, decided to intervene. “Uh, can we help you?” he looked at us and smiled. He had blonde hair with pink tips. “Yeah, I'm new. The name is Micah. Can I sit here?” he asked in a flamboyant style. “And yes, before you ask if I am Gay. What's yalls name?” Amanda introduced herself, and I said. “I'm Taylor.” quietly. He smiled and draped his arm around my shoulders. I flinched slightly but corrected myself. Hopefully, he didn't notice. Turns out I had the remaining of my classes with Micah. He said he transferred here from Texas. He is actually pretty cool. I guess having a new friend won't be so bad. We exchanged numbers and started a group chat. Micah's idea. The bell rang and I realized I didn't even finish my sandwich. s**t. We gathered our things and we all headed to history.