The One I Dare Not Love

7• Mary •

They said the Lord won't descend to protect his people directly. He'd send an Angel in human form to do all the work. It seems, in my case, the Lord had sent a gorgeous Devil, a dominant man with a cold heart.

He is dangerous but yet loving. When our eyes had locked, I felt the leap of my heart missing a beat again. This is against my rule as a nun, but then again, I am not a nun anymore.

Malva had done it again, but this time, in a way, even I couldn't turn a blind eye away. He had struck the man who was molesting me, and blood had gushed out in the most frightening way.

Every other guest who stood around the long dining table went pale immediately, but Martina, the instructor of all Roses, didn't waste any time at all.

" That's it Roses. Back to the MalDom." She gave out the order, and at once, I saw everyone dispersing, leaving behind the Party as they headed towards Malva's territory. A place where you'd have to answer to the boss before hurting anyone.

I was supposed to go along too, since I am now a Rose but no. My legs had gone too numb, and I couldn't take any step away from where I stood. Nor can I take away my eyes from Malva, the man who seems like a psychopath, cold-blooded, classy criminal himself.

How awkward did I find him so sexy, so formidable after he just took a life before me? How come I find it difficult to turn away from him? Why?

" Mary, we should go," Chiara's voice came through, her palm wrapped around my wrist as she pulled me ahead. I didn't wish to go at all but I have no choice.

I obeyed Chiara and headed back to the Roses Garden. However, I took a stop just as I crossed the margin lane in the MalDom.

" I will wait for the boss till he comes back, " I informed Chiara, but in response to my words, all the Ladies stopped at once. This time again Martina makes her way towards me with a cold gaze.

" You definitely won't make anything harder for our Boss, will you? "

" I ... I didn't mean to ... "

" Do not stay out for so long and don't step out of MalDom. I am sure you know better " Martina took a step back from me. She is less hostile than I have expected her to be tonight.

Carefully she turned, and all the Roses followed her immediately, disappearing into the door that leads into the peaceful garden.

Chiara waited for some minutes before she also walked away, leaving me alone in the hall. It was silent from there, but if one listened attentively, he or she would overhear the guests leaving the dining hall too.

The seconds seem to crawl slower than the snail, but still, I stand, hoping he will arrive soon enough.

It's almost half an hour later that my wish comes True. Malva, accompanied by a man I would later know as Sir Marco, emerges from ahead. At once I gulped down hard, preparing for his presence before me.

I saw Malva walk on, his steps powerful and stride so smooth. He drew nearer, and I would have sworn this was my First time witnessing such beauty and elegance.

Handsome in an understated way, with his basalt jaw and Spartan broad shoulders spoke of the strength he possessed. His hair is a casual jumble, which is neat and flowing at the same time. That night I realized he possessed a latent, leonine power and that he was walking with purpose and authority.

When he finally comes nearer to me I watch him closely, taking note of his handsome face. His crescent of moon eyebrows was thin and narrow, he had Mariner blue sea eyes and I saw them gleam with an unread expression and also vigour of youth

I couldn't tell what was going on in his mind, but I could see he wasn't interested in hearing anything I wanted to say.

" Go in. It's late, " He told me without casting me more than one glance, but I stood my ground.

" I'm Sorry," I suddenly tell him, driving him to an abrupt stop in his tracks. " I apologize for making things hard for you "

Malva turns gently to give him his attention now.

" I didn't mean to ... to cause trouble for you. Everything that happens tonight is my fault. Should I go to the godfather and beg him not to punish you? The maids are saying... "

" Roses," He corrected, and I swallowed hard.

" The Roses are saying you will be punished and this I do not want. I ... I don't want you to be punished in my stead. I beg you "

" Were you the one who threw the fork? " His question came, causing my heart to skip a beat. " Were you the one? "

" No, but... You did it because of me. Last night, you killed those men because of me, and this night, you ... you ... "

" Every other man would have done the same last night. My Father hasn't given his verdict then, so no one has the right to lay hands on you, and tonight ... I saved you because you belong to my territory now. I'd do that for any other Roses too. Don't get ahead of yourself. You are not that special to me "

Again his words slice through my heart like a sharp knife. The tone he had used reminded me of my place and my identity. I shouldn't get ahead of myself. I shouldn't think he saved me because he sees me as someone important. No.

After he speaks those hurtful words, he turns away now. Not towards The Jaws but away towards the Fort exits. I must have struck a nerve there. I must have gone ahead of myself. How hurtful can any words be?

To him, I am just a brief flicker in the flame of his existence. A fleeting Shadow in the landscape of his soul and in other words I should dare not dream about becoming important to him. I should dare not love him.