The Billionaire's Hidden Heir

#14 - A Clueless Bastard

Adrian

"Why didn't you tell me who she was?" I paced a tight circle in the hotel room Derby had secured for me, hands clenched into fists as the truth about Lily's identity gnawed at my insides. All the guilt... I took in the heaviest of breaths, but it was not enough to loosen the tight chords that had wound themselves around my heart from the moment I'd been hit with the memories of my past.

Why the hell had she never said anything? All those years I'd thought she was someone else, treated her as the greedy gold digger out to destroy my life...my coldness towards her, the tears I had caused... God, I should have known, recognized her, even if that required stripping myself of the faux peace I'd built around my life. The one that had kept me sane enough to keep living after that stormy night. I should have done it for her, damn it!

I staggered, the headache I'd nursed for hours since the coffee shop slamming with a whole new intensity as I continued fighting between welcoming memories about her and blocking out the painful others that were so intricately intertwined it was almost impossible to separate the two. Years had done nothing to make me capable of treading that painful road. It was still just easier to block everything out, but I knew I couldn't anymore. There was no excuse to my actions, at least not on Lily's end. Everything was a mess.

"Wallace." I prodded when grandfather only kept quiet on his end of the call.

He sighed. "I didn't because, just like you, her past is not something she wishes to remember. You were not the only one whose world fell apart all those years ago."

What? I sank down on the seat, another wave of guilt engulfing me. Whatever manipulative answer I had expected from my meddling grandfather, it was not that. Her world fell apart? "What happened?" I knew more than a thing or two about one's perfect world falling apart and wanting to forget after. It was always a life shattering moment. One I would have never imagined for Lily. She was always so bright, and perfect, except for those moments when she thought no one was watching and she let the tears fall. The moments that had brought me satisfaction, but were now shining a spotlight on what a piece of garbage I had been. And I could take none of it back.

"Not my story to tell."

I hated that grandfather chose to say nothing, but I understood. On a heavy sigh, I asked the most hopeful question I had. "Do you think she ever thought that I-"

"That you'd genuinely forgotten her?" Wallace asked. It was too much to hope for, I knew that, but I couldn't help it because it was the only way enduring me would have been bearable for Lily in our marriage. At least I hoped she had found some solace in believing that, rather than enduring the pain of thinking I intentionally broke my word to her or that I was a bastard, just like all the ones she'd told me about on our endless conversations back then.

"Best friends forever?" I was slapped with a memory of her beaming smile before darkness descended with that familiar coldness I had spent years running away from.

"I don't think she ever thought that you'd forgotten her." Wallace's answer slapped me back to reality, thankfully, but it couldn't keep me from paling at what he'd said.

"Damn" Then that meant Lily just thought I was a bastard, which I was, truthfully. "Why the hell did she stay then? Why say yes to your proposition to marry me in the first place?"

"You are smarter than that, Adrian."

I frowned. For a whole second before the truth slapped in the face. God, I was still being a bastard. A clueless bastard. When Lily left Glanbury, leaving behind every dime of the divorce settlement offer, I'd realized she had never wanted me for the money. But I had never faced the real reason she may have stayed and endured my coldness. It had been right there in my face. "She loves me,"

"Correction, she loved you. I don't think that's the case now." Grandfather pointed out and the truth of that hit me like a ton of bricks. It was written all over her face when I'd mentioned I would be staying in Radiant Springs. She wanted me very far from her life and heart. I didn't blame her.

"The heart, however, rarely forgets." Wallace's voice was nostalgic, taking me aback. I'd never known him to be the kind to make mistakes. Hell, he was so perfect that believing Lily had manipulated his soft spot for her to get to me had been easy. "She may not look at you as she she did once, but trust me, deep down, her heart hasn't forgotten and if you are ready to get your head out of your butt, you might just make me the happiest grandfather to ever live."

I scoffed. "You do realize this is not about you, right?"

"Of course, it is." The line went dead, but not before noting all that hope Wallace had the first time he talked about me marrying Lily. He was right. I trusted him and I should have trusted him then too.

I stood and stared at myself in the mirror, wondering if I was over dressed. Okay, that wasn't entirely true. I was wondering if Lily would like it. Despite all that fire she'd spat at me with her eyes, Lily had invited me for dinner and for some reason, I wanted to impress her, to show her that I wasn't the same person she once knew even when I knew it would take much more than than a well chosen outfit and good manners to do it.

I had a feeling she wanted to talk, about Asher. I even dared to think she'd introduce us. It should have made me happy, that she had decided not to fight me on this because I wanted more than anything to be Asher's dad, but I was far from it. Because it was not only my son that I wanted. Now that I knew she was my Lily, I wanted Forest Lily and the woman she had become. The call with Wallace had only made that longing worse. I wanted to make it up to her. Whatever that looked like, or what it was going to take, I would.