Once Ice Grieves

FOUR: Exorcism

“I STILL can’t believe you guys are moving in together. Sigurado ba kayong magandang ideya ‘to? It’s like putting two alcoholics in one room with the freedom to buy anything they want—even alcohol. Di-ni-scuss n’yo ba sa mga psychiatrist n’yo to?”

Nagkatinginan kami ni Autumn na ngumisi lamang at ibinaba sa kitchen counter ang kahon na bitbit niya. “Therapists are not wardens, Nyla. Hindi ko kailangang ipaalam sa kanya lahat ng desisyong gagawin ko lalo na kung wala naman ‘yong kinalaman sa state of mind ko.”

Napangiti ako nang marinig iyon pero hindi ko na sinegundahan si Autumn at sa halip ay tahimik ko lamang na binuksan ang kabababa ko lamang na kahon sa sahig ng living room at kinuha mula roon ang mga bed sheets at kumot na kakailanganin namin ngayong gabi. Nyla dropped the two boxes she was carrying on top of the other box on the corner of the living room at nagpagpag ng kamay.

“Last na ‘tong mga box na ‘to. May mga naiwan pa ba kayo?”

Umiling ako. “Nakuha na ng mga movers kanina ‘yong mga mabibigat na appliances and furnitures. Everything’s set. Pero baka bukas o sa makalawa na kami magligpit para tumapat sa weekends. It’s hard to squeeze cleaning up and reorganizing during the work days.”

Tumango siya bilang pagsang-ayon. Naririnig ko ang kalansing ng mga kitchen tools sa kusina at nahulaang baka inilalabas ni Autumn ang mga plato, baso, at mga utensils galing sa kahong dala niya kanina.

“I like this penthouse. Pero hindi pa rin ako makapaniwalang mura ang nakuha n’yong renta rito. Two-bedroom penthouses are so pricey in the market nowadays. The cheapest you can get for this type of fully furnished penthouse is around sixty. And you got this ng forty two? Wow.”

Autumn resurfaced from the kitchen holding a bottle of water to her lips and another two on the other hand. Ibinigay niya ang isa kay Nyla at ang isa sa akin. “It still boggled my mind, too, when I first heard the offer. I did wonder kung may catch pero na-check ko naman ang lahat bago namin kinuha ‘to. The building is famous, the location is very ideal, close to all the main establishments.”

Si Autumn ang nag-asikaso ng lahat sa penthouse. I’m not good at dealing with stuff like this. Isa pa, at the time, I had so much on my plate what with the promotion and the numerous clients we received.

“Anyway, back to the previous topic,” naupo si Autumn sa sofa na nasa likuran ko. “Was that guy always so crude? Kahit dati?”

She was talking about Griffin King. I had to tell them both what happened between us a few nights ago. Mahirap sarilinin ang ganoong bagay and besides, Nyla had been asking about him ever since she saw him at the Kingsley Tower that one time.

Nagkibit ako ng balikat. “From memory, he was nice. Noong bata pa ako, hindi ko siya naringgan ng gano’n. He was always polite—albeit a little reserved.”

“O baka hindi mo lang naririnig kasi hindi ikaw ang target,” sansala ni Nyla. That made sense, I thought. “So anong gagawin mo kapag kinulit ka pa n’yan? Magdedemanda ka nga?”

“I doubt he’ll still pursue me. I’m too much of a trouble para lang sa one night stand. Wala sa kalibre niya ang maghabol para sa sex.”

“Watch out for that guy still, Ice,” pagkuwa’y tinapik ni Autumn ang balikat ko. “From experience, you may think Griffin King is harmless because you and he hasn’t happened yet and it looks like he’d stop bothering. Pero masyado mong ina-underestimate ang sarili mo. From the looks of it, it’s possible he may have wanted you from the beginning.”

Kumunot ang noo ko. “From the beginning? Anong ibig sabihin no’n?”

Siya naman ang nagkibit ng balikat. “You know I have a lot of experience with crazy, obsessed men.” That is understatement of the year. “Men like that who have access with pretty much everything can create premeditated situations. For example, what are the odds of Brand & Beyond being transferred to a building he owns days after you got promoted and you were handed a campaign for a project he’s funding? And then he made your company a subsidiary of his own but stayed away from the business just far enough to avoid the technicaility of you being involved with a boss.”

“Autumn, kung gusto niyang gawin ang mga ‘yan, he could’ve done that five years ago. Immediately after I went home.”

“Not if he couldn’t.”

“Huh?”

Ngumiti siya at napailing. “Lyselle… there was a seal on your records. Remember? You changed your family name and anything of Lyselle Ilagan is hidden from anyone who would go digging. He didn’t have access then which is why he can only act the moment he confirmed Lyselle Ocampo was the Lyselle he was probably looking for.”

Nagkatinginan kami ni Nyla. Namimilog na ang mga mata niya at nakaawang na ng kaunti ang bibig na tila hindi makapaniwala sa naririnig. I gulped and thought about it. Alam ko ang trauma ni Autumn sa mga kagaya ni Griffin na makapangyarihan at may pera. If I were in her shoes, I’d be, too. So I understand her paranoia sometimes.

But that doesn’t mean she’s right, does it?

Natagpuan ko ang sarili kong umiiling. “No, that’s impossible. Hindi ako pag-aaksayahan ng panahon ng mga kagaya ni Griffin. He’s larger than life and I’m… well, me.”

“I’m just saying. It wouldn’t hurt to be a little too suspicious of someone’s motives sometimes.”

IT WAS a busy Monday morning. We had clients in for a site visit and for RFP presentations. Ang tanging pahinga lang yata ng boses at utak ko noong araw na iyon ay lunch which I took very late in the day—around half past three. Bumaba ako sa second floor, may restaurant doon na nagse-serve ng Korean dishes since I’d been craving for something warm and spicy. Medyo malamig na ang panahon dahil nagtatag-ulan na. Makulimlim nga ulit sa labas at mukhang nagbabadya na namang umulan.

I had just finished the bowl of ramyeon noodles and was browsing through the chats on my phone when I caught a familiar scent pass by my table. Napaangat ako ng tingin at sinundan ang mga lalaking iginigiya ng waitress sa mesang ‘di kalayuan ng sa akin. That corner was devoid of people though and I noticed there was a ‘Reserved’ label on the table that the waitress snatched away when the men took a seat.

Limang lalaki ang naupo roon. Most of them are in profile from my sight ngunit ang kaisa-isang may direktang anggulo sa akin ay si Griffin. When he unbuttoned his blazer and took a seat, he was looking at me. His eyes were dark, watching, but I can feel the iciness in them. Nagbaba ako ng tingin sa cell phone ko at inabala ang sarili sa ginagawa kanina. I must have really pissed him off big time.

Noong sandaling iyon nagpasyang lumitaw ang caller ID ni Britanni Knight—one of my closest friends who I haven’t seen in a while due to the hectic schedule I and Autumn had, what with the home hunting and the moving in. Agad kong sinagot ang tawag, excited na makausap si Britanni.

“Hi, B! What’s up?”

I heard her caught a breath. “Oh, God, you haven’t heard, have you?”

Nawala ang ngiti ko at natigilan. Her voice sounded off. “Ang alin? Britanni, may nangyari ba sa ‘yo?”

“N-no. No, no, not me. Ice, it’s all over social media. Primitivo Ilagan was shot by unknown men earlier today according to the posts. Hindi malinaw ang detalye pero nagpa-interview sa TV si Logan, he said it was a political threat because your family’s enemies doesn’t want him to run for Senator so he announced earlier that he’s going to run to give justice to your brother. Ice, I’m sorry.”

Nadulas sa kamay ko ang telepono. Naririnig ko pa si Britanni ng mahina mula sa speaker ng cell phone, tinatanong kung naroon pa ako. My mind went numb. And then I went over what she said again. Then it sunk into me.

Prim was shot. My little brother. Oh my God. He was shot!

Agad-agad akong tumayo at kinuha ang cell phone ko saka patakbong lumabas ng restaurant. “Brit, he’s alive, isn’t he? He’s alive?”

Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko kung sinabi niyang hindi. Nag-iinit na ang mga mata ko sa nakabadyang luha at sobrang bilis ng t***k ng puso ko sa kaba. This shouldn’t be happening. Nangako silang poprotektahan nila ang kapatid ko!

“He is… I think. At least based on what had been circulating online.”

“O-okay, thank you for calling me, Brit. I appreciate it so much.”

“Just let me know what you need, Ice. Handa akong tumulong kung may kailangan ka.”

“Thank you, Brit. Marami na akong utang sa ‘yo pero salamat. I’m heading off to the ancestral house to see if may makukuha akong impormasyon. Gusto kong makita si Prim.”

Saka ko lang napagtanto kung gaano kalaki ang impact sa akin ng balitang iyon nang makapasok ako ng kotse at hindi ko mabuhay ang makina dahil sa lubhang panginginig ng mga kamay ko. Hindi ko mahawakan ang susi ng maayos at pakiramdam ko’y sasabog ang dibdib ko sa sobrang sikip. It took me a few minutes before I got the car running to the highway.

The drive to the ancestral house was three hours. I spent that time dreading what would happen to me kapag nakita nila ako sa harapan pa lamang ng gate at sa maririnig na lagay ng kapatid ko. It would kill me to know he didn’t survive. Hindi ko kakayanin.

My family has always hated me for several reasons—my parents hated me for being born a girl, my half brother, Logan, hated me for being smarter than he was, my grandfather hated me for ruining his son’s life and my younger brother, Prim, hated me for leaving him in that house. Makapangyarihang angkan ang mga Ilagan sa politika. There had been generations of Ilagans who became a public servant one way or another. The catch is… all of them are men.

When I was young, I like calling my family a Neanderthal clan. They have cavemen tendencies where women aren’t allowed to talk about certain things or do things they want or even show they’re smarter than most men. Lahat ng mga babae sa pamilyang iyon ay kontentong maging trophy wife—even my Mom. Kontento silang maging palamuti sa braso ng kanilang mga asawa, ngingiti lang, sasabihin ang mga tamang salita, tamang pambobola. I had always been different, the sore thumb who always sticks out of everything. Pero paborito ako ng Lolo kaya walang kahit na sinong may kayang magsabing hindi ko maaaring gawin ang mga bagay-bagay. But he eventually hated me because of the very thing that he allowed me to have—a voice in the midst of a male-dominated family.

Madilim na nang humimpil ang aking sasakyan sa labas ng matayog na mahogany gate ng ancestral house. Umibis ako mula sa kotse at pinindot ang doorbell. Mayamaya’y pinagbuksan ako ng dalagitang kasambahay. “Ano ho ‘yon?”

Lumunok ako, ramdam ang puso na tumatalon-talon sa nerbyos. “Si Lolo Maximino nasa loob ba? Pakisabi gusto ko siyang makausap.”

“Ay nandito ho, Ma’am. Gusto n’yo ho bang tumuloy?”

I contemplated answering that. In the end, I nodded and she let me in.

Stepping in to the walkway towards the house sent me to a dizzying nostalgia. Halos hindi ako makahinga at pakiramdam ko’y naririnig ko sa likod ng isipan ko ang mga sigaw na maski sa panaginip ay nadadala ko paminsan-minsan. For a minute there when I was so close to the door, I thought I’d throw up. Ngunit mas nauna ang panic nang makita ko ang pamilyar na pigura na pababa ng hagdanan at patungo sa kinatatayuan ko.

Hindi pa nakakapagsalita ang kawaksi para ipaalam na may naghahanap sa kanya’y, itinaas na ni Lolo ang hintuturo niya sa akin at ang tungkod na tumutulong sa kanyang maglakad ay palakas na ng palakas ang hampas sa sahig, senyales ng kanyang galit.

“Ang kapal ng mukha mong magpakita sa pamamahay ko! Lumayas ka!”

He swung the cane towards me when he was an inch away and it almost hit my face kung hindi lamang ako mabilis na nakakilos upang lumayo.

“L-Lolo… please, gusto ko lang makita si Prim. Gusto ko lang malaman kung ano nang lagay niya.”

His nostrils flared in anger and he swung the cane towards me again, hitting me in the shoulders that I cried out in pain. “Wala ka nang karapatang magtanong ng tungkol sa apo ko at sa kalagayan ng pamilyang ‘to! Matagal ka nang hindi parte ng mga Ilagan kaya umalis ka na bago pa kita ipatapon sa kulungan!”

The lightning made a crisp, sharp line in the night sky. Ang dagundong niyon ay kasabay ng sigaw at iyak ko nang kaladkarin ako palabas ng mga tauhan ni Lolo. They threw me outside and shut the gate on my face. Nang muling dumagundong ang kulog at gumuhit sa langit ang kidlat, sinundan na iyon ng malakas na ulan.

I banged on the gate, screaming for them to open up. I begged them to let me see my brother but to no avail. Halos hindi ko na maipaghiwalay ang tubig-ulan sa luha na hinihilam ang mukha ko. Wala akong pakialam kung malamigan ako at mabasa ako. My throat eventually felt painful due to the screaming. It was like that day again. The difference is I was begging for Prim this time, not for myself.

Hindi ko alam kung ilang minuto o ilang oras akong nanatili roon. At some point, napaupo na lamang ako sa gutter at tumungo, umaasang may maaawa sa akin sa bahay na iyon para labasin ako at ibigay ang gusto ko. The rain kept pouring hard and I was freezing so much. I didn’t cared though. I felt so numb and cried out I didn’t think I’d noticed it if I were to drop dead.

But I noticed it when the rain stopped washing over my body. It was strange, I thought. Considering I still hear the loud sound of the raindrops hitting the roofs and the ground. Natigilan ako’t dahan-dahang nag-angat ng tingin. Agad bumungad sa akin ang mga mata ni Griffin—no longer cold and hard, but it raked over me with so much worry and so much pain I felt like I would drown in them.

“Princess… Iuuwi na kita…”

His voice got lost with the sound of the rain around me. Pero kahit ganoon ay narinig ko siya. In the back of my mind, alam kong dapat ay nilabanan ko ang kamay niya nang maingat niya akong hilahin patayo at igiya patungo sa sasakyan niya. Alam kong dapat tumanggi ako noong isinarado niya ang kotse matapos akong isakay sa passanger’s seat. But I realize I didn’t have it in me. My throat felt so bruised I know I wouldn’t be able to talk properly. And my bones feels mushy that I just laid back in the seat, not caring if I wet his expensive leather or if I ruined his expensive car. My muscles shivered and my jaw clenched.

Nang makasakay siya sa driver’s seat ay agad niyang hinubad ang blazer niya at maingat na ipinulupot iyon sa akin. His touch was so gentle, he probably thinks he’s going to break me if it was anything but that. Tinignan niya ako ng matagal. I looked at him, too, taking in his angelic face, drinking him in.

Narinig ko ang paghinga niya ng malalim at nakita ko ang pagtiim ng kanyang bagang bago niya hinawi ang basa kong buhok at tumalikod upang buhayin ang makina ng sasakyan. From then on, I looked away to the window, watching the houses we pass by until all I can see is pitch black.

The next time I awoke, nasa kama na ako. Nang mapagmasdan ko ang cove ceiling, alam ko na kaagad na wala ako sa penthouse. Dahan-dahan akong tumayo at mariing napapikit nang maramdaman ang sakit ng ulo ko. I remembered what happened and I immediately looked for any clocks around. There was one on the bedside table and it read four-oh-five on its digitally classic black numbers.

Nagpalinga-linga ako. Madilim ang silid ngunit kita ko pa rin ng bahagya ang itsura niyon. I was in a king-sized bed sa tantya ko. Across it were a few couches and a mini glass table. There was a balcony separated by a transparent sliding door na kinurtinahan ng makapal na tela para maitago. When I looked down at what I was wearing, I was shocked to see a pink silk satin nightgown na may manipis lamang na straps. I wasn’t wearing a bra either and the panties I had felt so thin, too, that I didn’t even need to take a look at it to know I’m probably wearing satin.

It was in the middle of that when I heard the soft muffled sound of piano keys drifting through the room. Wala sa sariling napatayo ako, tiniis ang lamig ng sahig sa hubad kong talampakan at sinundan ang tunog na iyon. It fascinated me, the sound. It alternated between fast and slow—as if switching between chaos and sadness. Nang makalabas ako sa silid ay napagtanto kong nasa ikalawang palapag ako. Ilang hakbang lamang ay nakita ko na ang banister at sa ibaba niyon ay ang grand piano kung saan nanggagaling ang tunog na naririnig ko.

Dazed, I climbed down. Griffin had his back towards me but I know he was the one playing. He was wearing a gray sweatshirt and a loose black jogging pants that at a closer look had a famous label’s tag between the seams of the side. Nang makalapit ay huminto ako saglit upang pagmasdan siya. Buo ang atensyon niya sa pagtugtog, waring hindi pa napapansin ang presensya ko. He was so adorable and so beautiful sitting there that I felt a hard tug in my heart when I looked at him.

Noon niya marahil naramdaman na nasa malapit ako. He stopped playing and looked up, his eyes immediately softening when he saw me.

“Hi. Are you hungry? Gusto mo bang kumain?”

Lumapit ako sa kanya. Akma siyang tatayo nang sumiksik ako sa pagitan niya at ng piano. Inabangan niya kung anong gagawin ko. I could see confusion in his face mixed with awe and anticipation. Slowly, I climbed up on his lap and ran my hand through his chest up to his cheeks and settled it around his neck. Ibinaba niya ang tingin nya at ang mga kamay ay naikuyom.

“Lyselle.”

Hindi ako nagsalita. Instead, I slowly brought down my lips to him, expecting he’d somehow push me away when it landed, but he didn’t.

Many things happened at once. Naramdaman ko ang braso niyang pumulupot sa baywang ko, ang isa’y tumungo sa aking batok. It made it easier for him to press my lips against him further. His mouth opened mine in a heartbeat and his warm tongue invaded mine, daring me to up the stakes through devouring my mouth as if that was food he was ready to annihilate. Naramdaman ko siyang tumayo, his strength making it feels like a walk in the park to carry me upstairs while my legs latched around his waist in a desparate attempt to feel his warmth.

Halos hindi ko namalayan ang pagbubukas niya ng pintuan ng kwarto. Ni hindi ko maisip kung paano niya nagawa iyon gayong hindi kailanman bumitaw ang labi niya mula sa akin. But at that point, I stopped caring. I love the feel of his mouth and his tongue inside me so much and I kept thinking about what it would feel like on my p***y, hot and wet gliding over my clit.

I moaned at the thought of it. He groaned when he heard and I could feel the bulge of his d**k against my thigh, hardening. My pulse picked up and I felt my core getting wet.

Nang maramdaman ko ang malamig na pader sa aking likuran ay dahan-dahan kong tinanggal ang mga hita kong nakapulupot sa kanya. Muling naramdaman ng talampakan ko ang lamig ngunit hindi ko iyon alintana. I grabbed the drawstrings of his pants and tugged on it, taking away my face from him for a moment to say, “You’re overdressed for this.”

“As you are, princess,” and to my utter shock, he tugged on my nightgown which easily tore apart, revealing my breasts to him.

Nawala sa isip ko ang pinaplano kong gawin nang lumapat ang mainit niyang palad sa kaliwa kong dibdib while he brought down his mouth to suck on the other one. I threw my head back and moaned, all thoughts flying out the window. I savored the feeling of his hot mouth around my n*****s and the exchange of hard and soft kneading in my mound on the other hand. It was hard for me to keep a grip on my sanity and it took a little longer than necessary for me to escape him as I go down on my knees while tugging his pants down.

Nang mag-angat ako ng tingin ay nahuli ko siyang hinahabol ang hininga, his lips glistening with saliva that I immediately craved for a taste of that mouth again.

Sa isang galaw ay nahubad niya ang sweatshirt niya, tossing it to the floor and revealing a tight set of muscular abs lounging neatly in his lean frame. I caught my breath and my hand went inside his briefs, scooping his hard c**k into my palm. I heard his breath hitched and that pleased me to no end knowing I have so much effect on him, too.

He looked down at me, sinful delicious lust plastered visibly in his eyes. “You’re killing me, princess…”

I licked my lip, glanced at the hard c**k enveloped within my hand. He was so hard he can probably drive nails. The excitement of knowing how he would feel inside me coursed through my system and my p***y clenched in anticipation. With that in mind, I took him in. The effect and the response to it was instantaneous. He threw his head back, his hands going straight around my head and he groaned so loud it echoed within the room.

Mas lalo lamang akong ginanahan. It was one of the things I loved and missed the most with s*x. The thought of the other person losing their mind over what I was doing… God, that is a head rush.

Naramdaman ko ang marahan niyang pagsalikop sa buhok ko. He wrapped it around one hand, holding it back from my face and he watched so intently, his mouth parting and his breathing erratic. I swirled my tongue against his flesh. When I lifted his shaft and licked every vein in his underside, he groaned. “Yes, like that. God, I love your mouth.”

It was those words that made me swallowed him from tip all the way to the root. That elicited a sharp hiss and a tightening of his hand around my hair as if preventing me from doing that. “Princess, enough, I’m going to come at this rate,” he gritted.

I smiled through my gag reflex. Siya na mismo ang humatak sa akin palayo at marahan akong hinila patayo, only to envelop my mouth with his in an open-mouthed kiss: urgent and with so much passion. Naramdaman ko ang gigil niya sa marahas na pagpigtas niya ng manipis na garter ng suot kong underwear. Hinila niya ang lahat ng mga natitirang tela na nakasuot pa sa akin bago ako pangkuin at igiya sa kama habang nakakubabaw siya.

Pareho kaming naghahabol ng hininga nang saglit siyang lumayo para abutin ang mga unan sa ibabaw ng ulo ko. In one swift motion, he lifted my back and slid the pillows under my head. Something tugged at my heart again. Tumiim ang bagang ko, may kung ano sa gesture na iyon na kinainisan ko. It took away the recklessness of what was happening.

“f**k me,” I spat, wanting to go back to the careless state I was in earlier. I don’t like the warmth it gave me upon realizing he was a considerate lover. “f**k me hard, Griffin. Now!”

He looked at me for a short moment, as if trying to read what was going on inside my brain. I couldn’t let that happen, I’m too open. So I grabbed his face and took his mouth again, my other hand feeling for his hardness, gripping and positioning it between my legs which I wrapped around him. He took my cue. Ibinaba niya ang kaliwa kong hita at ipinailalim ang kanan niyang braso roon, anchoring me while his other hand is braced against the mattress, supporting his weight para hindi ako madaganan. And in one swift movement, he thrusted forward.

I gasped against his lips, feeling the fullness of him inside me. Hindi lamang ako ang nakaramdam ng sensasyong iyon. He threw his head back and moaned, too, then he buried his face in the side of my neck and continued thrusting in and out.

Hindi ko alam kung saan kakapit. I was so full and overwhelmed I don’t know what to do. At some point, I think I even screamed and scratched his back to try to anchor me in the land of the living. Ngunit hindi sapat iyon.

It was very clear then and there why Griffin King is the ultimate. He wasn’t just a bomb in the boardroom. With his pretty angelic face, walang makakahula sa pagkatao niya sa loob ng silid. He was an animal in the sac. He knows what he’s doing. I can only imagine kung ilang babae ang nagkandarapa sa kanya pagkatapos siyang maranasan ng ganito. Paano nila natanggap na hindi na muling mauulit ang ganito sa kanilang buhay? That they can only experience Griffin King’s s****l prowess once and never again?

My breath hitched when I felt his pacing changed and his breathing against my neck became erratic and tensed. He’s close.

“I need more…” I drawled, my voice hoarse from all the screaming I did the entire night. “Deeper… Harder…”

Hindi niya ako hinayaang ulitin pa ang pakiusap na iyon. Itinigil niya ang paglalabas-masok, in-adjust ang hawak sa hita ko at sa isang galaw lamang ay maingat niya akong naikot sa kama. My back is now against him, his c**k still throbbing and pulsing so hard inside my wet cunt. Pumaikot ang isa niyang kamay sa baywang ko at marahang iniangat ako. We were now both kneeling against the bed with him spooning me from behind, his hot breath against my cheek and my neck.

“Okay?” he checked and with such a kind voice that I slightly whimpered.

Tumango ako, walang tiwala sa sariling tinig nang mga oras na iyon.

He angled me after, all the while his lips sucking on everything it can get to—my lips, my jaw, my earlobes, my cheeks, my neck. His other hand reached around me, working its way down to my clit. I flinched when I felt the heat in his palm against my cold nub. And then everything happened at once.

He began to thrust forward with all his length, his c**k disappearing fully inside me. Then his finger rubbed on me, electric tingles coursing through my body. Ramdam ko ang pagpipigil niya ngunit ni minsan ay hindi niya minadali ang paghahatid sa akin sa rurok. He took his time and while I was losing my mind over his deft fingers, I wondered how he could rein back the urge of release that I sensed from him earlier. I wouldn’t be able to do that if I’m that close.

But that’s me. Selfish. Reckless.

Suminghap ako’t napaigtad nang maramdaman ang pagbilis ng kanyang galaw. His groans are guttural now, louder. I reached up to grab onto something and I found his hair. I clutch onto it as if I was holding on for dear life. The feel of the pad of his fingers rubbing me became heightened and it’s almost as if he grew bigger inside me, making my folds close to exploding. The sensation sent me higher and his arm around my waist was the only thing keeping me glued against him. I was writhing, spiraling, screaming, thrusting back and giving him back the force of his thrusts.

“Lyselle… Oh God, baby…”

I think I saw a white light when I came. I clenched so hard it triggered Griffin’s orgasm and a hot load of liquid shot inside me. He buried his face in my neck and I felt him trembling. Hindi ko siya masisi. Whatever he felt, I felt, too. But I was so exhausted to pick it apart that when he lifted me up minutes later to lay me down, I passed out.