My birthday
I am now sitting by the window in the room allotted to me at Aunt Meredith's house, where she lives with my grandmother.
This is my second day here, and my grandmother has been gracious enough not to lecture me further than my aunt did when we arrived.
She was not a lecturer in the literal sense; rather, it was more like rules she set so that I could live in her house. My mother refused to take care of me after what I had done. And my aunt accepted with open arms that she would correct my mother's mistake in raising me. In her opinion, my mother spoiled me until she ruined me.
Meredith told me that the farthest extent I could reach was the end of the back garden of the house. Her house was very large, but she did not take care of the garden, so it was not that large, but it was not small either. It seems that Meredith took advantage of this by turning half of the garden into a huge garage that contained all her cars.
I looked more calm than I thought I would be, looking at what was going on around me—no phone, no TV, no laptop, no Mia and Mark.
After I returned home with Meredith, my grandmother was very shocked, but she was worried about this thing around my ankle. She also patted me on the back for all that hour that Meredith spent telling me the rules of her house: no going out, no friends, no sweets, and other things that I didn't really hear because my mind was preoccupied with Mia and what happened to her, and I was so tired after spending the night in the police station, and my mother had already abandoned me, so I didn't care much about what happened to me.
When I went up to the room and took a shower and was getting ready for bed, my mind suddenly went through those things that I was doing to annoy my mom. I don't really know why I was doing that; I was just making her angry. Everything I did, I just wanted her to know that I did it.
I seem to have spent the rest of the day and night asleep too; I didn't feel anything except around dawn, when my grandmother was making sure I was still breathing.
I didn't do anything all day, even after Meredith brought me all my textbooks; I didn't care much; I was actually feeling empty. Mark came by to see me, but Meredith wouldn't let me see him; my grandmother told me he was here, but I couldn't see him; my room faces the back garden, so everything that happens at the front door is out of my sight; I finish the day, and my mother still won't see me. I accidentally heard my grandmother talking to her, but I did not wait to hear the rest; that was enough for me.
The next day was no different from the previous day, even though it was my birthday. Meredith didn't care either. Only my grandmother was overly happy, and she started inviting family members. She even asked my uncle Steve to come from our neighbouring state with his wife and children, and since it was the weekend, he agreed immediately. I didn't know whether my mother would come or not; on the outside, I appeared unconcerned, but on the inside, I was desperate to see her.
The burning sun of the afternoon felt too hot on my skin despite we are in the fall.
I was sitting in the back garden after my grandmother insisted that I leave the room for a while, and she also told me that everyone was on their way here, but she did not say anything about my mom.
Despite all the thoughts going through my mind and the fact that something inside me was driving me crazy, the sound of the little birds chirping in the trees was the only thing that was able to make me calm.
I don't know how much time I spent in my place, but it seems I spent a lot because the sun didn't burn my skin anymore. And only now have I realised that other sounds began to appear besides the sound of small birds.
The sounds began to approach from the garden while I was still in my place, and the loudest was the voice of my grandmother, who was full of happiness. It seems that my uncle Steve has already come with his children.
My uncle Steve is in his twenties; he got married very young after Malia gave birth to their first child, William, and then they had a girl, Florida. Steve was always a weirdo, and Malia was just like him, so they were both the best couple for me. Steve was more of a close friend than an uncle, but his presence was not enough to make me smile.
After everyone sat in the garden and the children started screaming while playing around us, Steve and Malia were well aware of not mentioning what had happened and acted as if they were attending a normal birthday party. How pathetic that was.
Near sunset, Meredith awoke and joined us. Despite the wind starting to move the trees around us, we were still sitting in the garden. I never participated in their conversation, but that did not stop Malia and Steve from recounting the events of their last adventure with their children, and my grandmother was listening attentively. and give them a few laughs every now and then; no mom yet.
Meredith was adamant about making some points to provoke me, but I didn't pay her any attention. I had a feeling that something was missing—not my mom's presence, yeah, but something else.
Grandma told us to go back inside, have dinner, and then we could have the cake she'd been making all morning.
Meredith scoffed at her making my favourite ice cream cake, of course, because I'm grounded, but this was Steve's time to stand up and tell her that everyone deserves a birthday favour.
I didn't eat much, but I still felt that strange feeling. Although my grandmother insisted on cooking everything I liked and Malia also brought some side dishes, which I admired when I went to visit them a while ago, that wasn't enough; there was still something missing.
This awful feeling began to bother me, so I drew to go to my room, but the doorbell began to ring as soon as I left the room, and Meredith's warning voice prevented me from opening the door; I wasn't going to open the door anyway, but when Malia opened the door and I was on my way up the stairs, I heard her voice welcoming my mother, so I turned back to see her.
I stood waiting for what her reaction would be to seeing me without speaking, but I was surprised to see Meredith running out of the room and standing between me and my mother.
Meredith crossed her arms across her chest and said coldly, "What are you doing here?"
My mother was still putting her hands in the pockets of her coat and said, "My mother called me."
Meredith laughed sarcastically and said, "Yeah, and what else?"
My eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. Meredith was really upsetting me, but I clearly heard that my mom refuses to come here, in addition to the fact that Meredith's relationship with my mother is completely different. She's never been so cold to her, and it can't be because of me, right?
It was getting very cold outside, and the wind was starting to embarrass some things inside through the open windows, and that added to the coldness of the situation.
Mom turned to me and looked at the device around my ankle and said, "Oh, did Meredith turn you into her little puppy?"
I did not know what to say after this sentence, and Malia pulled herself from between us, so it seems that Meredith's face inspired her to leave because the situation would escalate even though I did not see her, but I felt that
"You deserve it," my mom added.
Meredith yelled, "Sofia, I asked you what you're doing here."
By then my grandmother and Steve had come out to where we were, and I stepped forward a little and said, "I know you're mad at me."
But I was interrupted by my mother's sarcastic laugh, and then she said, "You are just like your father. You both ruined my life."
This broke my heart. My mother's features became angry, and she said, "What did I do to you—did I hit you once, punish you, or even withhold money from you?"
My grandmother interjected, "Sofia, not."
My mom interrupted her, saying, "No, she's sixteen; she has to understand everything."
Meredith took my hand. She was about to take me to my room, but I pushed her hand and said, "No, let me hear what she has."
My mother laughed another sarcastic laugh and then said, "You see, this is what she used to do. She was finding the right way to push me into the abyss."
Yes, she is right, but why do I feel unfair, I did not hear myself say, "You are the reason for that."
My mother said, in disbelief, pointing at herself, "Me. Am I the reason for this, What did I do to you, tell me one thing wrong I ever did to you."
I couldn't control what was coming out of my mouth and said nervously, "That's exactly what you were doing, nothing; you didn't do anything; you weren't even here to do anything."
My mother said angrily, "Yeah, because I was working like a dog day and night, to bring you money, to get you everything that bastard who left when he saw you did not give you."
"I didn't ask for it," I said with equal anger.
My mother's voice rose, saying, "You didn't ask for it, but you asked for everything else, and then I'm also wrong, because I was giving you everything you needed, while you were so innocent and didn't ask for it; I spent my whole life for you, I didn't even get enough time to recover from what your father did to me because I had to take care of you, and you didn't ask, maybe he left because of you too, you know"
Shock occupied the features of my face; this really broke my heart; my voice cracked, and I said, "All I was doing was to get your attention, so that you would notice me and talk to me, but what did you do, you were throwing money at me and making threats, you didn't even have time to sit with me, and you ask me why I do this, I did everything so that you could talk to me, and now I am the one who ruined your life, and he left because of me."
The silence settled between everyone, but anger was boiling inside me while my tears were pouring down; I did not even know that I was crying, and I added, "I did not ask you to choose a man who did not love you, let you down, and leave, and I did not ask you to give birth to me to make me bear your wrong decision, I also wanted To have a family like everyone else."
Meredith's voice rose: "Enough."
"I, too, wish you had never been born," my mother said, her voice rising like ours.
Now, that was it. I walked up to her and said, in a voice full of heartbreak, "I will never forgive you for that."
And without even paying attention to anything, I started running to the back garden, letting everything go to hell; I didn't care anymore.
I heard Steve and my grandmother screaming my name as I ran, while my mother and Meredith screamed as they fought.
But I didn't pay attention to anything and continued running, and while I was running, the device started to sound an alarm and flash red, but I didn't even care about that and continued running. I didn't even know where to run; I didn't come to this area much, so I don't know the roads there. Well, besides, there are many small woods.
The sunset was still illuminating the road, and this continued until I came to a small riverbed in the middle of the woods with a boardwalk over it. I knew it wouldn't be long and the police would start following me, but I didn't care; I just sat in the middle of the lane, and I still didn't stop crying, fantastic.
Closing my eyes, I tried to think of other things to distract myself from crying, but everything was falling apart. But suddenly, a loud scream broke the silence.
" Heellp- Heellp mme _ pleease" a panic ran into my system while my eyes widened when I saw a little girl was fighting for her life to get out of the small river. I knew how to swim, but never with another soul in my hands. I looked around, and I didn't see anyone but me and the girl. How in the hell did she get here.
Without waiting for another second, I jumped into the water and began to swim to her. I was trying my best to get to her because the very cold water was pushing me back and the dark was already here.
I couldn't figure out how, but I managed to get her to the riverbank, and I pushed her up with everything I had left. Thank God, she was still breathing. But before I could jump to her side, something forcefully pulled me down.
I didn't even have time to take a deep breath, and no matter how much I fought it, I couldn't free myself. The pressure of holding my breath was causing me an unbearable pain, and when I looked down to see what was holding me, there was nothing visible. I was simply drawing.
I couldn't move my arms or legs anymore; I was fighting against nothing. And by now, besides the horrible pain, the cold water was starting to get to my lungs.
Yeah, I had a miserable life, and probably no one would shed a single tear over me after that fight, but I didn't want my life to end like that, but I can't fight anymore, so death is the only option.
While I was giving everything up, a red light suddenly obscured my vision; Did I die so fast, Am I already in hell!
I don't want to die in the same way that my life was meaningless.
wait a minute is this a song !!