Paradoxical Love

Chapter 8: Alone

The past that had shaped me from the way I am right now, such recollections was what I believe I held as an inspiration to trials and ordeals I struggled and persevered.

If I'm not mistaken, I met her when I was only six years old at my dad's house a long time ago. It's been like almost thirteen years since I had seen her.

When I was with her, those moments were also the reason why my favorite hero remained Gilgamesh among the heroes, his epic translated into a poem has invigorated my soul, that's when I became interested in literature and probably history while I'm at it.

The recollections within me were played like a tape inside of me, it was a time I used to play in our front yard where we just moved a week ago on the very first street at the first corner. It was just near the elementary school I attend. I was six years old when I met her almost turning seven, she was my first ever friend that I had.

Usually, I'm a shy boy who doesn't know anything about life. One flick on my forehead and I might faint, I'm not used to having a lot of people around me. I grew up inside our home, often locked in my room, and never interacted with anyone except my father.

I still remember when my father left me at a playground to play with the kids there, he said he'd be going somewhere really quick. As a timid child, I hid behind a tree and actually never interacted with anyone, I don't want to get involved with the child who only knows how to shout and cry.

I did bring the figurine of Gilgamesh got it out of my pocket, my favorite hero from an animated series I loved.

Sometimes I seem like a fool because I always imitate his words or his cool movements. So I asked my father to buy me a figurine of him at a nearby collective shop just so I can always remember the hero I admired.

I was so bored that I forgot I was in the playground and I knew it was inevitable that there would be a stray child going behind the bushes where I hid myself. Even so, I still did the delusion I always do at home which is declaring Gilgamesh's lines aloud. I have the habit of reanimating his phrases.

"Humans must learn the value of life comes from a grain of sand, thus it must return to where it came from." This is just one of the lines he expressed when his friend's about to die, it was truly a tear-jerking scene I had ever seen.

Because I was unconcerned about my surrounding, I did not realize that my usual voice became louder, I feared that others might hear what I was doing and make fun of me.

"Who's there?" A girl's voice disturbed my tranquil bushes. That's when I realized she must've heard me repeating some kind of lines over and over and came here.

I quickly hid the figurine in my pocket while I sneaked on the right side of the tree so that she could not see me. What am I to do now? No one must see me in such a state at all costs, I looked like a kid who never had any friend, but maybe it's actually true.

"Hello? Where are you?" She searched behind the brambles, I hope she'd kindly leave now, this isn't hide-and-seek.

"Get out of here!" Now I really have done it. I have no idea what I did but I'm certain I just gave my location when I can shut my mouth and quietly crawl away from her.

"Hmm... why are you hiding here?" A girl with black hair reaching up to her knees appeared. Her eyes were quite big and she's also petite. She also has a double-cross necklace pendant that is obviously hanging over her chest.

She reached out her hand to me willingly, I think she's a bit eccentric, the way she looks at me behind her long stylish bangs.

"Tsk, get out of my sight. You'll leave or I will." I set aside her hand asking for a handshake, she backed off from my aggressiveness. I remember the figurine was inside my pocket and I didn't properly have hidden it so it fell on the ground now the instance I stepped backward, now she totally saw it.

"Nyaa~! This is Gilgamesh, isn't he? Are you also a fan of that cool animated series?!" She got inquisitive her eyes shimmered with enthusiasm, her inclination of imitating a cat's purrs a little subtle and adorable. She picked the figurine up before I can get it, she became hyperactive and energetic that she was obviously a fan of the same series I always loved.

"So what? Give it back to me!" Suddenly I grabbed Gilgamesh figurine from her, running off on my own, and climbed the iron fence encompassing the playground to get out of here as soon as possible; after all, our house is just around the corner and my dad will know that I came home early.

"I do not want to see you anymore!" Even though it was just the first time the two of us met, I shouted at her loudly when I was a few meters away. There's no way she could've chased me with such a frail stature.

"Wait please!" I ignored her, I hope she can forget an embarrassing moment in my life. I turned around and strode on my way home.

The next day I thought of going out, I've been doing nothing but play online games since this past five in the morning in my bedroom, it was already one o'clock, the sky was clear, it was afternoon and perfect for a walk.

When I turned the knob of the door, for some unknown reason there was someone knocking outside. I simply opened it and I regretted it; the girl at the playground yesterday, the black hair gal was the one who greeted me.

"Hi." She approached me wearing a playful smile.

Out of shock, I instantly closed the door without hesitation. For freaking's sake, how did she find out where I live? She must've secretly followed me yesterday when I was on my way home. I glance around me and made sure no one's tailing me behind so I have no idea what kind of black magic she chanted.

She knocked again of course I pulled the knob again, what am I even doing? But I can't just ignore her now that she's in front of my home.

"I know you're wondering how I got to know your house, it just happened we're also living next door." She told, so now I know she's a neighbor, it makes sense, but I slammed the door again.

Again, she knocked and I opened it, I'm beginning to notice a pattern that we're kinda being stupid. Nevertheless, before I shut the door, she showed me a mysterious box.

"What? Won't we play together?" She suggested. I was shocked the moment I saw what's inside the box.

Within it, I behold the full set figurine of the servants from our favorite animated series along with the limited edition pose of the characters.

All in one box. My Gilgamesh's was nothing compared to her valued collection, she has a full-blown set of his three grand poses that's so rare it could have probably cost greatly. I can't help myself but let her in so we can play together.

"Come in, blacky hair gal." Whether I like it or not, I have to make friends with her temporarily, for the sake of her amazing figurines, I'll gladly interact with a girl probably the same age as me.

"My name is not blacky hair gal! The name's Sattela Kate Vermillion Lacson." She introduced herself to me, she held out her little palm, so I should say mine too naturally.

"Rey..." I can't bring to utter my name, I was too shy I was caught off guard.

"Rey what?" Sattela frowned.

"Reyler I said!" I was too embarrassed, I can't believe I got so flustered over a trivial thing. Now that I think about it, I tend to stay away from girls 'cause I'm a bashful person.

"Why, you're so adorable!" She laid the box on the floor and squeezed my cheek for a long time as she giggles.

"Aw aw! What are you doing?" What's with her now my face was red and it hurts.

"Nothing, you're a cutie you know?" She gawked at me using her cute smirk, now I'm literally blushing from what she said I have no way of denying it.

"Come follow me." Trying to elude my discomfort, I helped on carrying her collection and I believed the box is heavy; how did she carry it all here on her own? She must have wanted to play so badly.

Anyways, I took her to my own bedroom where we could play. Sattela looked around first as if it was her first time seeing someone's room.

"It's my first time to see a boys' room, this is no difference to us." As I was thinking, we have the same thought. We laid ourselves on the mattress so we can move comfortably.

"Let me look at your collection closely." Now it's time for me to relish this moment, these action figures are over the top for real.

"This is all I have!" Sattela turned the box upside-down and laid everything on the mattress. I could not help but be ecstatically overwhelmed. Where did she even get all of this? She had a complete set for each of the characters.

"Sattela, how did you get it all?" I'm just wondering because almost all of them are limited editions.

"My dad just gave it to me from abroad. I asked him I wanted Fiora's action figures but he said it's out of stock; what he did was buy all of the available figurines so I won't be sad." She explained, now I understand her dad must've spoiled her, I guess her family's rich if that's the case.

"Fiora's the best-selling action figure of all times, I kind of understand that." I raised my shoulders, there's nothing she could do nor her dad about that.

"Yeah." She agreed to me and sulked on my bed. Mostly Fiora's action figure set is the one that sells the most since she's the strongest servant in the series. That's why I noticed that there seems to be something missing in her collection.

I remember something now, not only do I have Gilgamesh's figures, but I also have a Fiora's figurine that I hid because I don't specifically want her. Maybe I will try to bring it out so that she'd be cheered somehow, she has everything except his favorite servant. Maybe if I also have everything except the one I liked, it could be meaningless.

Rummaging through my things, I presented Fiora's glowing figurine on my palm with her legendary sword. I blew the dust away and rubbed it on my clothes for it to look better.

At first, Sattela was dumbfounded, and then she darted towards me like a bewildered kid.

She did not want to touch the action figure 'cause it was too sacred for her, I could clearly see on her face the pleasure of a real geek. Her eyes shone like the shimmering stars above the endless skies.

"Oh. My. Gosh. Fiora's pose zero, limited edition prototype with only a thousand worldwide mass production. Here I am holding one of those." She's drilling from just gazing at it.

I do not know what she's saying, I have no use for Fiora, I might give it to her instead to wake her up from her dream. She is a die-hard fan and she was able to get all the exclusive sets, it could make her collection complete and there's nothing that could bring me delight other than seeing those around me be well and cheerful.

"You know Sattela, you can have it. I'm a Gilgamesh fan, this action figure is nothing for me." I merely did the right thing.

She was sobbing and then she cried very silently I don't know how to react during such times. She held the action figure in her right hand and she wiped her tears using the other.

"Are you serious ?! Nyaa! Thank you so much Reyler!" She hugged me so tightly that I could not breathe. The way she mimics cat sounds is kinda cute though. But I got too flustered and tried to break away from her. She's a girl and I won't let her crawl on me like a spider.

"Wait, wait, don't just hug me like that!" I'm aware my face is beet-red right now, I'm way too bashful this stimulation is too much for me. Thankfully she never noticed I'm a shy and timid person, it would be bad once she found out I avoid human contact.

What is happening to me, my heart's beating faster than before. Sattela also took something from her collections, those three limited-edition figurine poses by Gilgamesh were the things she handed to me.

"What?" I'm kind of confused.

"That's for you, you gave me your Fiora so you also have these figurines since you are also a die-hard fan of Gilgamesh." The way she simpered stunned me in place, I thought the world had stopped for a moment, but I was wrong.

She gladly gave those what she has, I did not want to accept but I also took it nevertheless. I was so thrilled I also hugged her in return, which shocked both of us.

"S-Sorry...!" I flail my arm around that it was not what she thinks of it.

"O-Okay." Sattela got embarrassed shaking her legs, I was unaware but I noticed she offered her hand to me once more.

"We're friends, aren't we?" She gracefully asked, almost as if she was my guardian angel.

Friend; such a  word awakened the hidden kindness in me. I'd finally have a friend, the first friend in my life.

"Of course." We shook hands to mark our friendship, I can't believe meeting her could change the way I see things as they were. Had not for her kindness, maybe I wouldn't be confident in myself and stayed a modest, humble, and bashful person.

"From now on I will call you Gill! Hehe." Sattela tittered and pinched my cheeks.

"Ow, ow, ow! Wait, what?" I closed my left eye, she squeezed my face too hard it stings.

"And call me Fiora!" She declared, deciding things on her own.

"Don't just randomly choose my nickname, Reyler is fine." I insisted but she didn't listen.

She even gave me a nickname, even though I'm a fan of Gilgamesh I don't want to be called that way.

"Come on, it wouldn't hurt." Sattela pushed me around the corner, she's getting on my nerve. I should just let her do as she pleases.

"Fine. I don't care." I actually cared and she still willingly cling to me.

"Yehey! Thank you, Gilgamesh." She's too energetic, and here I am exhausted from this situation.

"Tsk." And so we played all day long and we undoubtedly had a lot of fun, just the two of us.

After that we became friends for a month and then she disappeared like a bubble in the thin air. They seem to have moved out somewhere, the only thing I couldn't accept is that she left without saying anything, more like I didn't even talk to her or even say goodbye for the last moment.

The last thing I remember about her was the double cross-chain she left in my room a long time ago. I just discovered that it was lying on my desk when I was tidying up and cleaning my bedroom.

Honestly, when she suddenly vanished, my life became somber, I was always lonely without her, playing alone at home, I never made friends with anyone except Ged and Ariel in high school.

Now because of the turning points of events, and here I am; the girl I used to play with, my first friend, my only childhood friend, she is here again, standing in front of me, rolling her long sideburns with her index finger.

"Sattela," I called her name. My eyes just glazed over, the changes in her were drastic I didn't even realize it was her, probably because it's been years and we've strived a completely different path.