Paradoxical Love

"More..." "I want more..." "Give me more of your sweet kisses... I'm getting addicted lately..." "No..." "It hurts..." "I'm bleeding... It hurts so much..." "I don't want this... I'm scared..." "Don't worry..." "Don't be afraid..." "It will be fine." "Just hold my trembling palms... and kiss me more..." "I'll even make poems just for you." "Let me understand you more, let me fathom what your true desire is." . . . . . . All I could see from the music club room was the rays of the setting sun. The wind blows softly, neither escaping nor gushing within the closed window. I myself do not know how it all happened. I did not know or at least knew how I ended up being confined here in the quietest music club room. As soon as I got here the door closed as if in a horror film. But this is not horror because I can still see the sun. I later thought that this should be the time when I would panic and shout to let them know that there was still someone on campus. I'd croak if I am imprisoned here until tomorrow, the other students will laugh at me as my reputation will be ruined again while my name has been tarnished from the beginning. As far as I know, at lunchtime, after I ate I went to the locker to get my notes and books so that I won't waste my free time whenever there is. I usually go to the rooftop during lunch or recess to get some air. I just forgot to bring stuff because maybe my thoughts drifted when I was the attention of the majority. After all, I have a bad reputation at the school I belong to. Although, in the middle below the water bottle that sits on my mountainous book, there I saw a pink envelope with a heart still in the opening. With hindsight, of course, and at first glance, one can tell what it really is. Yes, that's right; it is a love letter obviously as plain as the day. But love letter for me? A shy type of guy who has never been approached by anyone? Unpopular and considered as suffocating air, I was just a shadow in our class. Maybe they are afraid to socialize with me if everyone knows that even gang groups were scared of me and avoid me in a broad daylight. As if someone would dare to give me a love letter. If there is, I will also give him a courage award, because she's not just a clown, she would be the entire circus. I can do nothing if they treat me that way and I can't blame them, just the thought of it is disgusting. Most people think of me as a delinquent and a scoundrel because of my emo face and lofty stature. I usually stare at those students who are looking at me because I just sometimes wonder what their reaction will be, and every time it happens, their faces were totally priceless. I will not deny that I am socially awkward. But they are afraid of me so they shun me, which makes me uncomfortable to interact with people especially with other students. I must first forget such trivial matters. Now, seriously! How I got into this problem where the sun was about to set. If I did nothing I would definitely have an on-the-spot overnight right here and now, in my classroom. "Help! Please help!" This is the first time I have shouted at the campus just to ask for help. This day is really weird. I don't even know if I can still get out of here alive. It's not exaggerating, I just don't want my sister to worry about me. I also almost forgot because of this unexpected incident, I should have joined Ariel at six o'clock in his part-time job. They will take care of it anyway. I need to get out now and focus on my own problem for the time being. Now, it looks like the culprit is, the reason why I was trapped here in this annoying club. There may also be different students just heading to the corridor opposite the music club room, I might be wrong. As I calmed myself and heightened my senses, I hear weak and slow steps. A faint shadow figure of unknown identity, a woman with long hair implies the one who went through the window and crossed the front door. Although it is difficult to accept, I also can not think that she really has a plan. But I ran to the door to ask for help. What else can I do if I don't beg him who she is? Besides, she doesn't know that I'm the delinquent student if whoever lies behind the door is just passing by. So maybe she can help me if it is possible, is what I thought. "Please! Help! Hello?" I screamed from the bottom of my lungs throttling up in my throat. I'm sure the young lady stopped at the door the same time she took a slow step. At that very moment, my heart beat faster. Sweating while feeling intense nervousness, I have never felt this kind of feeling since that day. The doorknob turned twice. Before it opened completely, out of fear, I instinctively opened it myself and the next thing I knew, heavy and long plywood fell down on my head. "Argh... what...?" I don't even have the proper reaction to such an unprecedented occurrence. The falling plywood wasn't a joke that I can't figure out where it came from. I was dizzy lying on the floor, I was just crawling around. My vision became blurred due to the severe collapse. But the last thing I remembered was a shadow of the young lady who seemed to be removing my polo shirt, then, all I could see is complete darkness. Just what the hell is going on right now...? Am I getting sexually assaulted or something? It's annoying that I can't keep up with the bread sales at the San Francisco Mall, it's really bothersome.