Paradoxical Love

Chapter 9: Me and you

"Sattela," I called her name once again, her eyes glistened as she reaches out for me.

"Gill...!" With a rush of recollections we remembered, Sattela embraced me very tightly not wanting to let go. For so many years and just today at exactly this moment, we met again. Still, it's a bit awkward since none of us, including me and her, recognized each other.

The modest and silent girl in our classroom, her long black hair hanging down to her waist, her bangs and sideburns were very long, but only her right eye is covered. Despite her being a lady, her height is almost the same as mine, and she's taller compared to my friends. I realized she's my classmate that's why her face is kind of familiar, it's my fault since I don't give a care about anyone in our classroom except Ged, Ariel, and probably the Council President.

"Gilgamesh how long have I been looking for you..." She was sobbing, her cheek resting on my chest.

Now that I get a gist of the situation right now, she was so close it was strange; what I was referring to was that I was in the library hugging my childhood friend, who I just also recognize the one I had been looking for a long time, but I gave up at one point as I was thinking maybe she is already somewhere content with her friends.

Why did she show up now? I wasn't mentally prepared to meet a friend whom I cherished dearly.

"So you must've remembered the necklace you forgot in my bedroom. Since then, I took care of it and awaited the time I could bring it back to you." I was kind of hesitant to say I've actually liked it that's why I'm wearing it.

"You're right, but, I can't believe the notorious delinquent of our school is you, Gill and you Reyler are one." It seems she also can't believe what had happened to me. The way she looks at me is the same as others, in her eyes, I'm a shunned student hated by everyone. I tried pushing her back and breaking our embrace.

"So why aren't you scared like everyone else? It's fine, you can avoid me too..." I'm afraid she might be terrified of my presence, I don't want to make her uncomfortable. I thought she's forcing herself since I've been her friend, I dislike a fabricated act the most.

"Why should I be scared? Yes, before I knew it was you I was, but when I found out you were Reyler, I wanted to be with you even more." She held her hands close to her chest, she was saying the truth. I suppose she really is my childhood friend, nothing changed, although her puberty hit her harder than I expected.

Still, her impression of me when I met her still retain, she really knew I'm not the delinquent I've been putting up, and her way of approaching me did not change. I can't believe she really was Sattela, I'm glad we met at an unexpected event like this.

"Nyaa! I miss you so much Reyler!" Until now she's cute especially when she makes those cat sounds and purrs. But, I was a little taken aback by her hug as I can't breathe anymore.

"You might have changed in appearance, however, you are still you, Sattela." I merely said the truth.

"You're Reyler too, cold-hearted, except I know you're good deep inside." The way she smiled at me made me remember the kindness she bestowed on me. It reminds me that there are those like her who understand far better than anyone despite the circumstances.

"Speaking of which, the cheerful and jolly Sattela, became the quietest and weirdest. What's up with that?" I'm not judging her but it's just amazing that she is an introvert as if she's some sort of air when I remembered she's the most enthusiastic girl I have ever seen.

I'm pretty sure it was hard for her and that there were things that happened between the time, I should be able to understand her 'cause she's my first friend ever.

"A lot has happened, family problems and so on...  This is my first time grinning contently for a long time, and because of you, Reyler, you made me glad again." Sattela's too sincere, I did nothing, though I understood the situation she was in.

We may be on the same, but the waves of the sea were different, and so was her own way.

"I know you are not ready to tell me yet, in case you are comfortable with me, please just come to me, who else will work together in times of crisis? Aren't we best buddies, right Sattela?" It was kind of strange to such a thing and never regretted it. She seemed about to burst into tears, it should be because I know how painful it was to be alone.

"Reyler...!" She hugged me again, this time, the gentle embrace of a lady with a broken heart. Actually, I was really embarrassed but I just let her cling onto me for a few seconds.

"It's fine now, don't worry." I comforted her, it is what a man should do.

"Thank you for being with me again, don't leave me, please...!" Sattela begged, pulling me closer to her.

"Don't worry, I'm just here, we're best friends." Assuring that she won't experience loneliness again was the least I could do for her.

The hug lasted for a few seconds and we're finally able to breathe comfortably. She obviously wanted to cry but she just held back. It seems that she has not forgotten that I do not want to see a girl crying, I would like to say that she can pour everything, her laments, and regrets, yet I did not do it out of embarrassment.

"I remember, you were always bullied in the room, weren't you?" I usually don't care about our classroom, though I'm that too naive to not see what's going on.

I'm an eccentric student bearing a background, they'd never dare to get involved with me let alone bully me, the farthest prank they can pull on me was to ruin my locker. Although, I noticed that she was being bullied repeatedly, to the point that she's being hurt emotionally and physically. I do believe I'm an ignorant person, but I'm not blind.

"So you know..." Sattela came back to her meekly side, avoiding eye contact and stepping backward until her back hits the shelves.

"At first I didn't care, though now that I found out it was you, and next time they make fun of you again, I won't hesitate to punish them." Hurting a friend of mine is unacceptable, shouldn't I give back what they did to her? When things turn really bad, you could always turn the cards around.

"Reyler no need... And I remember I need to leave, let's meet again at the library..." She placed the bookmark on the book she was holding and closed it hurriedly.

"All right." I nodded as a sign I will be back here again just for her.

She then strode out of the bookshelves to minimize noise. I have no idea where she's going, she's in a hurry so it must be important. The next subject is contemporary arts, I don't know what went into her mind, I doubt she's going back into the classroom.

Anyways, I was so bored here at the library I thought to follow Sattela along the corridor; there was nothing interesting to do, so I went outside, checked the whole hallway where she went.

I swear I'm not stalking her, I'm just really curious for some reason. And after I arrive at the end of the hallway, my hunch hits the spot; I guess my suspicion is correct. I was struck by seeing her going upstairs to the fourth floor; what she's up to anyway? Plainly wondering or maybe she had to go upstairs perhaps the teacher instructed her? I suppose the only way I can find it out is to accompany her ahead.

I was about to follow her but someone grabbed my right hand from behind when I was about to take a step. I turned around pretty quickly as an act of self-defense, my instincts kicked in.

"Reyler? What are you doing here? Isn't the contemporary arts just began?" It was the Council President; energetic and always have the time for school responsibilities and studies. I now discerned that she caught me loitering in the hallway. Time to figure out the best excuse I can offer.

"Actually I'm from the comfort room and I should be going back now, where did you come from?" Tried to use a diversionary question, I know she's busy and she'd probably left me off the hook this time.

"Our adviser just told me to take his stuff to the office earlier, I'll be back, let's go together?" Matilda explained and she's also on her way back to our classroom, I have no choice now as I have to go with her back to class.

"Is that so? You're a truly diligent student, let's go." I speak in a friendly manner; she grinned at me with delight, her kind nature is really her charm whatever she does. It's a good thing I managed to avoid her suspicion that I'm about to skip the next subject.

Anyway, since the Council President tied me up with her now, I abandoned my plan to follow Sattela, I arrived in our classroom with the Council President without saying a word or two.

As always, they must have thought the Student Council President dragged me here 'cause I was cutting classes, it wasn't partly wrong though.

But as I listened to this boring study-session, the contemporary arts instructor finished babbling, and Sattela's nowhere to be found, her seat is empty and I have no idea where she is now.

Is she always like this that I don't really notice her or is it just a coincidence that her way of cutting classes is worst than I can? Usually, at this time I'm in the library binge-reading some books, she's really become weird and eccentric, but since I solely focused on her now, maybe I'm getting too concerned for her.

Maybe I just didn't pay attention, she's not the Sattela that I had known in the past. Either way, I hope she is okay, I just felt a little anxious, maybe just my useless hunch.

Everything seems fine, yet upon remembering something unbearable about Matilda and me, it almost made me lose my cool.

Is it just me or did we just communicate ordinarily with each other? I can't believe it's normal for us to exchange conversations after what happened at her house, for sure it's an event in my life I'd never forget.

Re-evaluating my mind is a must, what's with the both of us acting as nothing happened? I frowned and blamed myself and my curiosity, a bitter core memory instilled in my head will never be deleted, it will remain for eternity until I die.

The thing that happened is that I could not feel the shock in Matilda's expression when she saw me holding her underwear with my hand erecting upwards.  I can hardly feel my limbs trembling, perhaps in nervousness. The sweating on my back was like a waterfall raging with the stream of water.

She went to her desk, laid down the tea set, and sat down next to me without the expression of hatred directed at me; as in I had no idea what was going on.

I let go of her legendary artifact known as underwear, now she'd think I'm sort of a p*****t.

"Council president, I can explain―" Before I could say a word or two, Matilda picked up her artifact like it was then the normal thing to do, I was already sweating profusely I'd die of shame. After she picked it up, she went to the door so she can go out.

"Wait, what will you do?" I asked, is she leaving me behind for the wicked thing I did?, It was my chant to put up the act called nothing-happened-scenario, yet I honestly confronted her as a man.

However, I wasn't expecting her response, Matilda pointed her index finger next to her bedroom and said. "I kind of forgot to put it in the laundry area, just a moment."

My jaw dropped the moment she was gone, she went to the laundry and actually put it back to where it belonged.

I was left in her bedroom unable to critically think rationally, I was trying to forget though as I try, it gets imprinted on my head over and over again.

Still, there is a word I'd want to utter upon me seeing her legendary artifact. "It's kind of cute..." I actually had done and said it, inside her house without respecting her existence.

It entails my problem, after that, we chatted for a short time and I decided to go home, bidding farewell to her with my newfound embarrassing recollection.