Numinous

Eight

Benj knocked on Avery's door, his hands sweaty as he clenched them around a bouquet of flowers he bought for her after fighting with himself inside the flower shop about which bouquet to get. It was just before dusk, the sky a pretty dusty blue color, the streetlights just coming on. The wind blew slightly and he shivered a little. It was still cold out, the seasons not yet beginning to change from winter to spring.

The door opened moments later, slowly.

He saw Avery's curly head peek out from behind it and smiled warmly at her. She opened the door wide enough to show herself entirely. She wore a gray beanie over her wild dark curls, a jean jacket, and a simple black dress underneath that looked more like a really long t-shirt than anything else. He smiled down at her ever present big black boots.

She was utterly adorable, the way she blushed as she noticed he was staring at her. Suddenly he spoke up, clearing his throat. "I brought these for you," he held out the bouquet to her. She smiled and took it slowly. The bouquet was made up of half a dozen white roses and half a dozen yellow roses, accented by baby’s breath. They were beautiful and looked expensive.

"Thank you. I've never gotten flowers before, but I've seen on TV that you're supposed to put them in water when you get 'em." Benj laughed and she frowned playfully, sniffing her flowers. "Are you laughing at me?" She asked him as she fingered the flowers in her hands. They were so delicate and soft, so pretty and serene. She smiled absently. Was it normal to get gifts for going on a date with someone?

How wonderful was that?

"Yes. I find you extremely adorable." He confessed. He couldn't help it; she was the woman of his dreams and he couldn't believe they were actually going on a date. A real one. He had waited for this moment for so long, that he was having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that this was reality.

"Well, I think you look really handsome," She told him. He had worn a sweater Jessica had helped him pick out at the store and a simple pair of black slacks. If it wasn't for his best friend, he wouldn't have a sense of style. Before she came into his life, he wore t-shirts and jeans every day. After her, his wardrobe was mostly business casual. He had grown to love the feel of expensive fabric against his skin and felt like a d**k for it, but online shopped more than he cared to admit.

"Thank you," he said, flushing up and becoming more and more nervous by the second. He had no idea if he made the right restaurant choice or if she liked the flowers he gave her or if he was doing any of this right. He had no idea if he should have dressed down more. Avery seemed so far out of his league that he was tempted to call the entire thing off, but as she looked back up from the flowers she held in her hand to smile at him sweetly, he knew he didn’t want to do that. He couldn’t wait to spend more time with her, hopefully so he could see that pretty smile over and over again.

"I'm gonna go put these inside." She told him, disappearing behind the red door that led into her apartment. There was a wall separating the entrance from the rest of the apartment, and he was tempted to push the door open with the tip of his leather shoe to get a look at the inside of it, but he didn't want to be caught out.

He was too nosy for his own good.

When she came back, she had a purse and a set of keys with her. “Okay, I’m ready now.” She told him, looking just as nervous as he felt. He stepped down off the stoop and let her lock her door. When she turned back toward him, he smiled down at her, holding out an arm toward her. “What?” She questioned him, finding herself looking down at her feet to try and stop getting even more flustered. “Nothing, I just think you look beautiful today. Well, you look beautiful every day, but—” She started to laugh at him and he stopped, flushing wildly. “You’re the sweetest. I know what you meant, dork.” She assured him. He looked back up at her, her smile radiant and refreshing, her features relaxed. Benj grinned at her, feeling his anxiety melt away.

"Shall we?" He asked.

Avery hesitantly put her arm through his as he began guiding them down the sidewalk. She decided after a moment that she was grateful for the contact; it was freezing out and he was warm. Warmer than she expected him to be.

"How was work?" He asked her. Avery shrugged. She had pushed what happened earlier out of her mind until now, and all she wanted to do was push it right back out. She was glad he was invested in getting to know her, but she didn’t want to answer his questions about work. Work was always horrible for her and it was just as well that she kept it a secret other than telling him and have him go back on liking her enough to spend time with her and be nice to her. She had prayed for someone to notice her and offer kindness to her, and this was the first time her prayer had seen any compensation.

"That's it?" He asked her, mimicking her shrug with a smirk on his face. "It was just," he shrugged again and Avery rolled her eyes playfully. Benj could notice she was shrinking back into herself with his prodding, and felt himself becoming sad, although he had nothing to be sad about. Avery just seemed distant, more than the last time they spoke.

He didn’t know her very well, but she seemed upset. He wanted to flat out ask her what was wrong, but he didn’t want to assume anything. He didn’t want to look stupid in front of her. This was kind of like their first date. He didn’t want to ruin it and soil the only chance he had to make a decent impression on her.

"It was okay, I guess," Besides the incident in the storage closet, work had gone sort of okay, if not good. Allen was gone most the day and only returned once she finished her lunch break. It had been too busy after Benj left and she got back from break for Allen to discipline her, and she made sure to clock out and run out of the door before he could come out from his office and ask her to stay later or tell her she was in trouble.

"I don't really know what else to say about it. I hate that place." She told him. He laughed it off, although he wanted to know more. He was going to let it go because he could sense the tension. If she had a bad day at work, he didn’t want to make it any worse. He wanted to make it better. "I get that. I hate my job sometimes too." Avery bit the insides of her cheeks to keep from telling him it wasn’t the same. Her hatred stemmed from a lot more than he realized.

"Aren't you, like a doctor? Isn't it against the rules to hate your job if you’re a doctor?" She joked. Benj smiled, knowing she changed the subject on purpose, but glad she did it. He never knew how to change the subject in a conversation. He was always so intent on finding things out he often forgot how to have healthy dialogue with people. He was also pretty happy she was asking him questions about himself and even remembered that he was trying to become a doctor. He wasn’t so used to anyone being interested in him like that. It almost broke him, but he pushed on.

"Not a doctor yet, and it probably is against someone’s rules, but it's not against mine. It’s a stressful environment, and I’m not a fan of how serious I have to be sometimes." It didn’t seem to Avery like Benj liked his job very much, which was odd judging from how long he had worked for it. She didn’t think those who went to school for a decade for a specific job were supposed to hate that specific job. It just seemed like a big waste of time.

"So what do you actually like to do, then?" She asked him as they walked across the street. They were headed uptown, and Avery began to feel nervous again. She didn't know these streets like the back of her hand as she did with the ones downtown. She was never brave enough to venture out this far in fear of Allen thinking she was on the run. She wondered if this was allowed, for a moment, before reminding herself that she was an adult woman. Sort of.

If she had to suddenly cut and run, she would get lost for sure. She didn’t know if that exactly qualified her to be an adult. Didn’t adults know their way around the city they’ve been living in for six years? She looked up at Benj, at the side of his face illuminated by the passing cars and streetlights and took a deep breath. He had the ghost of a smile on his lips, and his curls were messy, rustled by the wind. He had boyish features but held himself like a man, like he’d had to grow up a little too soon. Or maybe his growth was stunted, like Avery’s. Maybe he also had some damage. He was, after all, interested in her after she got drunk and humiliated herself in front of him. She wondered what his story was, or if he even had one. It seemed like he had dropped out of the sky and directly into her path, and for the first time in her life; it didn’t seem like this man came into her life to make it harder.

She felt like he was trustworthy.

"I like to make music. That's my number one passion. You know, besides following in my dad's footsteps and taking over his practice, of course." She nodded in understanding. It was important to him to follow in his father’s footsteps and make him proud. It made a little more sense now. He was being dragged into it for the sake of his family. She knew a thing or two about that.

"You make music? Do you sing?" She asked him, intrigued. "Sometimes. Not often, though, I don't like my voice. I like to make my own beats using computers and keyboards and such. I've produced a lot of underground tracks; mostly EDM and electronic s**t. I also like to write song lyrics for other people, although a lot of what I write is really personal, so it stays put inside my journal and I never record them."

"Wow. I don't listen to music much." Avery told him, wondering if he was actually any good with music. She doubted she would be able to tell. When she was young, her mother would play old school hip-hop and r&b, but she was too young to care about any of that, and by the time she was older, her life was so much more complicated than music taste and who was trending on the radio.

"What? What do you mean, you don't listen to music? Say sike right now!" He exclaimed, looking down at the girl beside him in awe. He had never met anyone who was indifferent to music.

That was his entire world.

She sheepishly bowed her head. "I don't know, I just...I've never had time to explore music, I just hear what comes on the radio at work and that's mostly classic hits from the seventies and eighties."

Benj's eyes lit up then as he turned his body toward her as they walked.

"I have this old Zune that has thousands of songs on it that I used to bring with me everywhere. I can upload all my new favorites to it and let you have it. That way you have all the basics in one device."

Avery was shocked he offered to give her his Zune, and although she had no idea what a Zune was, she was pleasantly surprised at his thoughtfulness. He had already given her flowers; she didn’t know how to take this.

"Benj, I couldn't," she would feel awful taking something she didn't earn or pay for, although she really wanted to know what he listened to.

"It’s just sitting in a drawer collecting dust. If I didn't give it to you, I would just throw it out in ten years’ time." He chuckled as she struggled to accept his offer.

"But,"

"Do you want it or not? I'm not gonna bother with it if you don't even want it." He told her in a teasing voice. She rolled her eyes but spoke up.

"I do. I mean, it's super nice of you. I don't know how I could make up for it." She confessed.

"How about you just enjoy your time with me tonight and we'll call it bought and paid for?" Avery smiled up at him and nodded.

"Okay." She answered.

"Good. But if I see you aren't having a good time,  the deal's off." Avery laughed at him. "Wouldn't that be up to you, then? This is totally your date. If I don't enjoy myself, it kinda feels like your fault." Benj chuckled, bumping her shoulder with his lightly.

"We already made a deal. Scared you won't have fun?" Avery could think of a million reasons to be scared. Not having fun wasn't one of them. "Hate to break it to you, but if there's food involved, then it’s already fun in my book." She joked.

"Well, then I have good news for you.” He jokingly told her. She perked up and smiled at him. “Oh yeah?” She asked, he nodded, nudging her shoulder with his again. “The place I’m taking you has plenty of food.” They had been walking now for about twenty odd minutes, and they were about to cross the street to a very busy looking building, with an entire parking lot full of cars and families walking in and out of it.

“Ever been to Dave and Busters?” He asked her. She shook her head, nerves creeping up on her. “There’s a lot of cars over there.” She commented, looking up at him. He reached into the breast pocket of his shirt and pulled out a Swisher package. “I know, it makes me nervous too, but that’s why I always like to get high beforehand. It’s a grown up sized arcade with booze and food. Pretty f*****g cool, despite all the people.” Avery suddenly realized the earthy smell that clung to him—m*******a.

Avery was shocked he just said he liked to get high. He didn’t seem the type, especially knowing what she did about his line of work. But, as she looked at him, suddenly it didn’t seem so strange. Of course he liked to get high. That was the reason he seemed too young to be a doctor, and too boyish for his actual age. His aura didn’t match his persona whatsoever, and it was amazing the kind of layers he seemed to possess.

“Okay, new plan.” She began. “Let’s go find somewhere to smoke that.”

Benj smirked.