My invisible scars

6. I want you to love me like your baby sister

6. I want you to love me like your baby sister 

My body numbed. I never saw Harry sitting beside me earlier! 

I was too lost in my thoughts that I cannot see Harry there in the stool. His eyes were directed to the bed. He was not looking up at me. But the paleness on his face indicated, he looked tired. 

I glanced around in the room fearfully, if he was here then our parents have to be there too. I found no one though. The room was empty. The two single sofas kept in the corner of the room below the TV that was up on the wall, were empty. 

My eye moved back to Harry as fear started building in my body again only to realize he was glaring me hard. I watched as the whites in his eyes turned a pure black, and as his iris glowered teal. Symbols, lines and dots formed in the iris, placed in a sort of manner. He was enraged, they told me. His poker stare felt painful and piercing, as if his glare was tearing my heart apart with a blinding teal light. 

I quickly lowered my eyes now as fear engulfed me. I don't want to bother him at this point when I was half alive and half dead. I looked at the blood on the bandage that was on my hand— it was of that girl who was bullied by her own brother, Me. 

I looked up at him again, this time, with widened eyes as he held tears in his eyes. This guy read my mind. He learned I was thinking about her, the girl who had snatched his heart from him. He learned that I was thinking about, Rosemary. 

A final glance at his furious eyes confirmed my possible outcome. He was going to kill me. I quickly pulled my arms near my chest as the tears issued in my own eye sockets. "Please don't hurt me, I can't take the pain any more. It hurts badly" I gulped the lump of my throat. 

It was after I saw the blood on his clothes again that I recalled I was injured. It was my blood which Harry was covered in. I recognized that I was kicked by his friend in the same spot where mom had kicked me in the stomach and fainted drenching in my own blood. 

I can survive anything if I feel loved, even these pains that come to explode within, it eats me from inside realizing that I was just an unwanted soul. Nobody appreciated my existence. Nobody. 

And the one who would do it, was so already gone! 

I sat there quietly. I can sense his dark red eyes were glaring me continuously but I concentrated on my breaths while keeping my eyes closed, matching my breaths to the beeping of the machines that surrounded the bed, the only indications of my heartbeat, my existence. 

"Why do you hate me so much? I am your blood sister, can't you love me a bit? Can't you show me some gentleness like you used to do when we were kids."

My legs were numb. I knew that speaking too much will bring more pain but I can't help it. I wanted to share my feelings with him. Share everything that I felt so that at least once, my brother would feel about me and hug me like a real brother. 

Curiosity slowly pried open my swollen eyes to meet a dismal view of his face. He stared me like I was something worth giving a gaze. Yet, it was empty. 

"I want you to love me like your baby sister, Harry." I know I was acting strange. 

My brother who bullied me, tortured me until I ended up in hospital deserved my insult, anger and hate. But here I was trying to make him feel me. Understand the inner turmoil I grew up with and, for once— just for once forget his hatred towards me and show me some love. 

Harry lowered his eyes with a deep breath. I am sure he was thinking about Rosemary. Whenever he lowered his head without uttering anything, it meant that he was missing him. She was that girl who deserved happiness but, she had a brutal end because of me— death. 

Her father was a drunkard who would beat her like an animal. Rosemary's mother had run away with a lover and so, her father would effuse all his anger, the insult of a damaged ego on poor Rosemary. She was of my age then. 

However, one night, she escaped her house and ran for her life. And that was when she encountered Harry. She had collided with his car when he was returning after pubbing. She was soo scared and innocent that Harry fell for her instantly. 

I don't remember anything after that. It is just that he had brought her home and her father was arrested for child abuse. Later when Rosemary was being taken away to send for foster care, Harry insisted for her to stay in her family. The NGO was more than happy to grant our family as her foster family. And after that day she never had to go elsewhere until her death. 

My brother was a born devil who found solace in Rosemary's arms. In the night he was sneak into her room and sleep with her in her bedroom. I have had seen them kissing a couple of time and I have had also seen Rosemary trying to shoo him away but Harry was too stubborn to listen. She was his peace. 

But that day, I just stole away his peace and made him the person he was currently. Otherwise, earlier he would only behave cold. He never raised his hands on me. However, after Rosemary's leave from our house and Harry's life, he changed himself for real bad. 

"I know you miss Rosemary even today. But can't you just forgive me! I have already apologized so many times Har—" my voice stuck in my throat as he shot his head up at last to face me once again.

There was no trace of tears that I spotted in his eyes earlier, not in his eyes or in track marks on his reddening face. His eyes were narrowed, rigid, cold, hard and glaring me while his chest fell and rose. 

At that moment I knew he was already far away. Once more I was the enemy of his life and like a pissed of barbarian, he was glaring me with murderous looks. Those popping up veins on his neck showed his control that he was having on his body alas, it broke apart and my neck was held under a death grip. 

Tbc...