Nakedness Weaponized: Kill la Kill x OP!Male reader

Chapter 9: Four Generals of Honnouji

Honnouji Academy, Naturals Election Polling Arena

Everyone looked shocked at the very eccentric arrival of (Y/N). Suddenly Ryuko went down and walked up to him in a furious manner.

Ryuko: What the hell, asshole?

(Y/N): *flips her off* Be in awe at the sight of Lord (Y/N) (L/N), b***h!

Ryuko: To hell with that s**t! What the f**k's with all these dildos?!

(Y/N): Oh? That? It was for 1. To piss everyone off, 2. To make and awesome entrance, and 3. For the readers to roll on the floor with laughter. And it looks like those goals were achieved smoothly.

Ryuko: I get it, you and your crazy s**t. But why f*****g dildos?!

(Y/N): Number one: You, callin' me crazy? That's rich. Number two: Why NOT dildos?

Ryuko: Agh! Whatever! And who the f**k gave you the blimp?!

(Y/N): All I've got to say is never trust a man named Thomas J. Beale.

Ryuko: Who the f**k's that?!

(Y/N): Oh my god, this chapter should be named 'Ryuko asks (Y/N) useless s**t'! Shaddap, damn Scissor b***h, we've got assholes to beat.

Ryuko: Damn it, fine. But you haven't answered on the dildos.

(Y/N): Don't worry, YOU don't need one of those, chica. You've got me for that.

Ryuko said nothing and was blushing furiously. She shook her head and focused on the first fight, which was against Gamagori. The man in question, having witnessed (Y/N)'s entrance, adressed him loudly.

Gamagori: (L/N)! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!? HOW DARE YOU TAINT HONNOUJI'S REPUTATION WITH SUCH A HIDEOUS ACT!

(Y/N): OI, f**k YOU ASSHOLE, IT WAS HELLA AWESOME! AND DON'T YOU DARE EVEN THINK THAT I'VE FORGOTTEN 'BOUT OUR BET! YOU FOUR OWE ME 4000 BUCKS!

He then spoke to Satsuki, who had a stoic and at the same time extremely annoyed face.

(Y/N): OI, EYEBROWS, YA SEE THAT?! THAT'S HOW YOU DO AN ENTRANCE! NOT WITH THE HEEL CLICKS AND THE SHITTY BACKLIGHT!

Satsuki's eye twitched, as she was seriously tempted to trigger Junketsu's transformation and attack him.

(Y/N): Anyway! Let's get this s**t over with! My rubber chicken's a dangerous weapon and it must not be kept outside for a long time.

Satsuki: Calm down. Keep your composure. Must. Not. Attack. Him... First fight: Begin.

FIRST BATTLE, BEGIN!

Ryuko and Gamagori each transformed into their outfits' respective battle forms. When they finished, they stared each other down at the center of the arena. Soon, Ryuko noticed something, or someone missing.

Ryuko: Hey! Where did that son of a b***h run off to?!

(Y/N): My mother was not a b***h, thank you very f*****g much!

Ryuko followed his voice and saw him standing on the spiked tower that she had originally stood.

Ryuko: What the hell are you doin' over there?! Come down and fight!

(Y/N): Nah. I'm lazy, so I'm gonna chillax here and play some battle music for you.

He pulled a folding chair and a f*****g boombox of all things out of nowhere. 

He sat, produced a Mountain Dew and popcorn, also out of nowhere, and relaxed without giving a single care.

Ryuko: Oh no you aren't! I'll drag your ass down here and make you fight if I have to!

(Y/N) Ha! As if you could handle this fine ass of mine.

Ryuko: Watch me!

Ryuko was about to jump to the tower and drag him down, but he raised his hand to stop her.

(Y/N): Ok, how 'bout this? You do this fight, I'll do the next one and we tag team the next one after that.

Ryuko: ...Fine. But you better fight after I beat Gamagori! You promised!

(Y/N): Sneaky b***h, pulling the promise card on me. Damn it, I walked right into that one. Oh well, time for some battle jams! DJ (L/N)'s in the mix, fuckers!   

Ryuko returned to where she stood in front of Gamagori and just stared him down. She had the 'bright' idea of not attacking him, as hitting him would only make his uniform stronger.

(Y/N): The only time she uses her head is the only time it's useless to do so...

Gamagori called her a fool and responded by just whipping himself to the point of triggering his second transformation.

Gamagori: This is my Secret Technique: Self-Flagellation! Three-Star Goku Uniform: Scourge Regalia!       

His whips spread all over the arena, missing the Elite Four and (Y/N), meanwhile Ryuko was getting repeatedly hit by them, particularily on her ass, which (Y/N) enjoyed like the hot-blodded teen he was.

One of the whips was closing in on his boombox, which (Y/N) blocked and tored immediately and glared daggers at Gamagori.

(Y/N): If one of those whips touches my boombox, he's getting the rubber chicken.

As the fight went on,(Y/N) began to see a pattern. Ryuko would attack Gamagori head-on, only for his uniform to get stronger and transforming, hitting her countless times, then de-transforming to tank her hits again, rinse and repeat. Gamagori eventually had enough.

Gamagori: Let me show you the true terror of the Shackle Regalia! Ryuko Matoi, your independence is revoked! I'm going to mold you into the proper student! 

He turned the front parts of his uniform into a pancake mold with the outline of his idea of an ideal student. Ryuko had devised a plan and de-transformed.

(Y/N): And there she goes, bein' reckless again. Then again, she wouldn't have turned back to normal if she hadn't something up her sleeve.

Ryuko literally let herself be encased in the mold.

(Y/N): Or she was just bein' stupid... Unless...

Gamagori: Without your scissor blade, you have no way of fighting back!

Satsuki: Gamagori, you fool.

Suddenly, red spikes began to burst out of the Shackle Regalia as he began to stumble around. Ryuko emerged once again transformed, but this time she had red spikes all over her outfit.

Ryuko: Life Fiber Synchronize: Senketsu Senjin!       

SENKETSU SENJIN

Gamagori: I-Impossible!

Ryuko, seeing that his uniform's Life Fibers were exposed, went for the final attack and destroyed Gamagori's uniform, making her the victor of the first battle.

(Music End)

FIRST BATTLE OUTCOME: WINNER: RYUKO MATOI

(Y/N): Welp, she won. That was pretty clever of her to transform her uniform. 

He then saw something in the debris of dust that made him stand up and blitz towards the arena. It was Gamagori, who took out a small dagger and prepared to finish himself off.

Gamagori: Disgraceful! That was disgraceful, Ira Gamagori!

As he brought the dagger to his stomach, it was suddenly wrapped and torn from his hand by a whip. He looked up too see (Y/N).

(Y/N): Woah there, f*****g frog. It's kind of extreme for seppuku, dontcha think?

Gamagori: But... I just disgraced lady Satsuki, this piece of trash deserves to die!

(Y/N): True, you're trash. But just cuz you're trash doesn't mean you can't f*****g redeem yourself. It's called garbage can, not garbage can't. 

He turned his head and left him, only to see Satsuki in front of him.

Satsuki: That was rather out of character, wasn't it (Y/N)?

(Y/N): Who the hell cares about that? The main issue is where the f**k did you came from? Oi, did you take a f*****g shortcut? Are you 'bout to give me a bad time?

Satsuki: Childish as always.

(Y/N): You love me just the same, Kiryuin. Now both you two motherfuckers get off my arena, I got a smartass to fight!

Gamagori and Satsuki lef the arena quietly. However, Satsuki's mind was specifically on what (Y/N) said.

Satsuki: Love, huh?

Meanwhile, (Y/N) walked to Ryuko.

(Y/N): Yo Scissor Drifter, pretty smart of ya to pull that transformation in the last second.

Ryuko: Heh, thanks. He was pretty tough though. 

(Y/N): He was? I was more focused on his whips on your ass. Damn that thing can ripple! Ten outta ten.

Ryuko: *blush* Can you not be a pervert for one second in your life?!

(Y/N): If I did, then I wouldn't be able to admire yours or Satsuki's smoking hot bodies, so no.

Ryuko: Wait, Satsuki?! What the f**k you looking at her for?!

(Y/N): I would be f*****g gay or asexual if I didn't wanna look at her... Wait, you're f*****g jealous, ain't ya?

Ryuko: S-Shut up! I'm not!

(Y/N): *sarcastically* Suuure you aren't. Now get off my arena, it's my turn!

Ryuko, with an embarassed blush, walked up the stairs, sat in (Y/N)'s chair and began eating popcorn. Meanwhile, Inumuta began walking down the stairs of his tower and arrived at the stage.

Inumuta: It seems I will be your opponent, (L/N). I was hoping to get more Kamui data from Matoi, but you and the source of your strength are just as interesting.

(Y/N): Whatever gets you to shut up, Orochimaru. Let's do this.

Inumuta: So impatient. Still, I hate to waste time as much as you do.

Satsuki watched intently, as this would be the first time to see (Y/N) in a real fight.

Satsuki: Second battle... Begin.

SECOND BATTLE: BEGIN

Inumuta: Understood. Three-Star Goku Uniform: Probe Regalia.       

THREE STAR GOKU UNIFORM: PROBE REGALIA

(Y/N): That looks kind of underwhelming if you ask me... I feel naked... Oi, f*****g dog, are you scanning me?!

Inumuta: Correct... Hmm, you appear to be in normal condition, yet I feel something strange.

(Y/N): Oh? That's cuz all my awesome can't be caged for long. Now then, let's rock this joint! Oi, Scissor b***h, hit it!

Ryuko deadpanned and pressed the play button in (Y/N)'s boombox, making music blast all over the yard.   

(Y/N): Nice! Now, DYNAMIC ENTRY!

He charged at Inumuta, then jumped and sent a flying kick towards him. Inumuta calculated the trajectory of the attack and dodged the kick. What he didn't expect was the follow up.

(Y/N): Leaf Hurricane!

Using the momentum of the Dynamic Entry, (Y/N) redirected himself and did a 360 degree kick, hitting Inumuta and sending him a few yards away. Inumuta soon started thinking while typing rapidly on his uniform's keyboards.

Inumuta: He faked a flying kick only to use the momentum and kick me. He's smarter than he lets on.

(Y/N): Oi, I know you're the analyzing type, but do ya hafta do those poses while doing it?

(Y/N) saw that he was ignored and got a tick mark on his face.

(Y/N): Alright, asshole, no one ignores Gonnafucksomebodyup Man and gets away with it. If I wanna beat a brainy asshole like you, I hafta get reckless... AKA be myself, ok then.

He then charged once again.

(Y/N): Disgaea fans should know this. Fist Attack: Tiger Charge!

As he charged, he started to move sideways very fast, leaving multiple illusions of himself. He then appeared behind Inumuta and prepared an uppercut, only to punch nothing.

(Y/N) Da f**k?! Oi, did he pull a Slender Man on me?

He looked around, only to find no one but himself in the arena, or so it seemed. He then heard Inumuta's voice.

Inumuta: When it comes to chaotic attacks, the best strategy is to dodge them. Then, when on counterattacks, one can inflict greater psychological damage.

(Y/N) then felt a kick to his back, then another, then another. This soon turned into a flurry of attacks seemingly coming out of nowhere. As he blocked the attacks, he began to think.

(Y/N): An unkown force is attacking me with fast blows? And it's talkin' to me in an arrogant way? This just leads to one conclusion...

He paused, as if to give a dramatic effect.

(Y/N): This must be the work of an enemy Stand!

Inumuta: What's the matter? Start giving me some interesting data or I'm going to be very disappointed!

(Y/N): Damn! I can't go up against a Stand! I don't have one! I left the arrow at Hammerspace! Note to self: Make a portable version of Hammerspace.

He got attacked repeatedly and, although unharmed, he was pushed to the edge of the stage.

(Y/N): What to do?... I know! Like my momma sang: 'If you're happy and you know it clap your hands'!

He then clapped with such force that a shockwave spread across the stage. (Y/N) looked at the dust that the shockwave kicked up and saw a spot at which the dust split apart. He grinned like a loon.

(Y/N): 'If you're happy and you know it clap your hands'!

He then moved blindingly fast, too fast for Inumuta's systems to keep up. The blue haired technician got alarmed and tried to dodge, but (Y/N) was faster and slammed his palms against him, sending him upwards in the air. With his invisivility systems damaged, he was again fully visible, making (Y/N)'s grin get wider. He then jumped in the air and ended above Inumuta.

(Y/N): 'If you're happy and you know it then your face will f*****g show it, if you're happy and you know it clap your hands'!... But instead of clapping, I'll just punch the s**t outta ya! FALCON!

Inumuta: Impossible! Chances of dodging are 0%!

(Y/N): PUNCH!

He punched Inumuta very hard, sending downwards and burying him headfirst into the ground. (Y/N) landed and saw that the tech specialist had gotten out and his uniform was malfunctioning.

(Y/N): Welp, I don't have a scissor blade to cut your uniform, so I'll just beat the s**t out of ya until it's wasted or you give up. Please don't give up, I'm enjoying this very much! Now then, Lariat!

He then went for a clothesline, only for Inumuta to stand up and de-transform with his hands laid up in surrender. (Y/N) saw this and stopped at the last second.

Inumuta: Not so fast. I hereby forfeit this battle!

(Music End)

SURRENDER. SECOND BATTLE OUTCOME: WINNER: (Y/N) (L/N)

(Y/N): Of f*****g course you give up! Just when I was starting to enjoy myself for getting a new punching bag!

Inumuta: If I continue fighting, the data I've gathered so far would be destroyed.

(Y/N): Hmm... Well, the data is about me, so I understand your wish to keep it safe. After all, who's more important in this fic than the main character?

Inumuta: There you go, spouting nonsense again. Either way, what I want is data, not victory.

He walked off the arena. (Y/N) then looked towards Ryuko, who had finished the popcorn and looked impressed.

(Y/N): What are ya waiting for, the day One Piece ends? Come on, Gear Eyes, we're tag-teamin'!

Ryuko came down the stairs and stood beside (Y/N).

Ryuko: Gotta admit, you kicked ass back there.

(Y/N): Of course, it's called being awesome without gettin' naked. But you wouldn't know.

Ryuko: Gettin' real tired of your s**t, (Y/N).

(Y/N): Then how 'bout we take this under the sheets. I betcha you can't last for 10 rounds.

Ryuko: *blush* 10 rounds?! Ya wanna cripple me or somethin'?!

(Y/N): I was thinking of getting comfy under the sheets and play some rounds of Smash Bros. Ultimate. Get your head outta the gutter, damn perv.

Ryuko: Looks who's talkin'!

(Y/N): There's a difference. I have a healthy appreciation for the female body, as any normal man should. You just like to show off your big t**s to everyone, kind of like Eyebrows up there.

Ryuko: That's it! I'll cut the s**t outta ya!

Ryuko snarled and brandished her scissor blade, about to charge at him. (Y/N) only raised his hand.

(Y/N): I'm kind of seeing a pattern in this conversations we have... Anyway, pipe down, If you want me to f**k you that badly just say the word.

Jakuzure: Jeez, get a room, you two. Entrance March! Under the Double Eagle!

Ryuko and (Y/N) looked upwards to see the pink haired snake making her way to the center stage. She had a marching band behind her, playing classical music. She soon stood in front of the two.

(Y/N): Oh look, it's...what's your name again?

Jakuzure: It's Nonon Jakuzure, you transfer student! How could you forget it?!

(Y/N): How couldn't I forget it? You barely have speakin' roles in this fic, not to mention that fans don't like ya cuz you're an illegal loli in a world where superpowered hot women fight in kinky outfits. And you like classical music, it's the 21st century for Nyarlathotep's sake, nobody likes that s**t these days. It's all 'bout Trap and Gucci Gang and s**t.

Ryuko burst out laughing while Jakuzure fumed. (Y/N) gave his classic trollish grin and was about to deliver another roast but he then heard chanting. Both him and Ryuko looked down to see Mako cheering... for herself.

Mako: Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

Senektsu: Your friend's finally started to cheer for herself.

(Y/N): To cheer for herself selfishly instead of cheering for me... I feel so proud.

He then saw that Inumuta and Gamagori were at each side of her. Gamagori was half-naked and a little bit too close to Mako, which set off alarm bells in his head.

(Y/N): Oi, damn frog, you're makin' me regret stoppin' ya from killin' yourself. 

Satsuki: Third battle... Begin.

THIRD BATTLE: BEGIN

Jakuzure immediately triggered her uniform's transformation.

Jakuzure: Three-Star Goku Uniform: Symphony Regalia Grave!       

THREE STAR GOKU UNIFORM: SYMPHONY REGALIA GRAVE

(Y/N) was expecting her uniform to be some kind of over dramatic music s**t that would be easy to beat. He didn't expect a motherfucking tank coming out of the tiny uniform.

Ryuko: On what planet is that a uniform?!

(Y/N): OI! THAT'S A MOTHERFUCKING TANK! HOW THE HELL DID YA MANAGE TO FIT THAT s**t IN A UNIFORM?!

Jakuzure: I can get better acoustics this way. Okay, for my first song, Light Cavalry Overture!

She then began blasting them with loud music. Ryuko transformed and charged, only to get blown back by the sound waves. (Y/N) had to cover his ears because 1. This s**t was way past earrape, and 2. Classical music was just not his thing.

(Y/N): Damn, my boombox can't blast my jams for this joint. Sorry readers.

Jakuzure: The bass really reverbrates, doesn't it? Next up is a really sharp performance!

She then fired literal sharpened musical notes at them. They took evasive maneuvers and jumped around. Ryuko and (Y/N) started to yell at each other for strategies.

Ryuko: Any ideas?

(Y/N): Hmm... I got one, but it's hella crazy, even by this fic's standards!

Ryuko: I'll take what I can get, let's do it!

(Y/N): Okay, you gotta follow my lead and say Fire Tornado when I tell ya!

Ryuko: Fire Tornado? What the hell is that? Whatever, just do your thing!

(Y/N) nodded and started to gather the metal notes. When he got enough, he bended them and assembled them into a giant rough ball-like shape. He then launched it into the air.

(Y/N): Oi, Scissors, come here, then jump and start spinning until you get to the ball!

Ryuko nodded and went to his side. She then jumped high and started spinning. (Y/N) was right beside her and spun in the opposite way of Ryuko's. Suddenly, the two started to leave a fire trail in midair, looking like two fire tornadoes.

Ryuko: What the hell?!

(Y/N): Roll with it! We're almost there!

Jakuzure: What in the world are they doing?

The two finally reached the ball in a position that seemed that they were to kick it.

Ryuko: Ugh!... Fire Tornado!

(Y/N): DOUBLE DRIVE!

They kicked the giant metal ball towards the tank. The ball, because of the fire the two generated out of nowhere, caught fire and thus strengthened the shot. Jakuzure panicked a little bit at seeing a big flaming metal ball of death coming her way. 

Ryuko: That was kinda cool!

(Y/N): Wait till ya see the Triple Crusher!

Jakuzure suddenly blew a whistle, and then many heart shaped lasers headed towards the incoming projectile. The ball was slowed down, but not enough and slammed into the tank, making it backtrack a few meters.

Jakuzure: Nice try, but my music has no equal!

(Y/N): Well s**t, I'm out of ideas.

Ryuko: Oh, come on! 

(Y/N): At least I came up with something, what's your excuse?!

Jakuzure: Now then, I'm going to wring a better performance for you!

She then transfomed her tank, replacing the caterpillars for speakers and growing wings on the back. The speakers then blasted the tank into the air, making it a f*****g airship.

Jakuzure: Symphony Regalia Presto!       

SYMPHONY REGALIA PRESTO

(Y/N): As if we didn't have enough s**t with it on the ground, now it flies! Hey Gear Eyes, got any ideas?!

Ryuko: Yeah, hold on to somethin'!

She then anchored herself to the ground and using her scissor blade to bring the airship to the ground.

Ryuko: Come down and f*****g fight me!

Jakuzure then tried to cut Senketsu strings, but failed as he was too strong. She then decided to destroy the central tower. (Y/N) stood on one of the falling pieces.

(Y/N): Well s**t, what to do?... I got nothin', the tower's destroyed, so the capsule won't work. And the rubber chicken is just overkill... Oh? Whazzat?

A black and red blur was closing on him, flying into the sky. It was Ryuko, who had transformed Senketsu in a way that the lower part seemed like a jet engine. She then extended her hand to him.

Ryuko: (Y/N)! Grab on!

(Y/N) grinned like a madman and grabbed Ryuko's arm. He then settled on her back as she burst out of the smoke.       

(Y/N): Oi, not too shabby!

Ryuko: That's my Senketsu! He can do anything if he tries! How'd you like them apples? Senketsu Shippu!

SENKETSU SHIPPU

Jakuzure: The sky is my world... the kid gloves are coming off, you b***h!

(Y/N): T R I G G E R E D much?

Ryuko, using her new maneuverability, dodged Jakuzure's wrath. (Y/N) was having a blast on top of her back.

(Y/N): I BELIEVE I CAN FLY! I BELIEVE I CAN TOUCH THE SKY!

Ryuko: Stop singing! We're kinda busy here!

(Y/N): Oh, right, pink bitch... I got an idea!

Ryuko: What is it?!

(Y/N) saw that Jakuzure had fired a barrage of flute rockets. He grinned at Ryuko, who didn't like it.

(Y/N): It's called...

He suddenly jumped from her back and towards the barrage.

(Y/N): RULES OF NATURE!

He landed on one of the missiles and started running on top of it. He then jumped towards the other, then the other. He soon reached the last one and did a great leap, rocketing towards the airship. He then crashed at the front side, right in front of Jakuzure.

(Y/N): Well, hello there. How's it goin'?

Jakuzure: What the hell?!

He was about to Falcon Punch the f**k outta her face, but a subwoofer came out of nowhere and blasted him towards the remains of the arena, which was magically not destroyed. He then crashed loudly, with Ryuko sending a worried look in his direction.

Ryuko: That stupid i***t! (Y/N)! 

(Y/N) soon emerged from the smoke, his clothes a bit ruffled up, but otherwise unharmed. He sent a thumbs up towards Ryuko, making her calm down only to be blasted by Jakuzure, which in turn made her start to fight her.

(Y/N): *sigh* I guess I have to bring this out. If she's using a mech, then I can too!

He then pulled the capsule he took out of Hammerspace that was in his pocket. He took a deep breath, then looked at Satsuki, who instead of watching the two girls fight, was looking straight at him. (Y/N) looked at the capsule then sent her a s**t-eating grin. Satsuki did not like this.

Satsuki: He couldn't get any crazier than he already is... right?

(Y/N)'s grin only widened, he pressed the button on the top of the capsule, then threw it on the ground right below him.

(Y/N): KUCHIYOSE NO JUSTU!

The capsule then exploded in a big cloud of smoke, making Ryuko and Jakuzure stop momentarily. Ryuko felt dread crawling within her.

Ryuko: Knowing him, it's just another one of his bouts of craziness! Oh my god, please let it not be too insane!

A gust of wind suddenly swept up, revealing what (Y/N) had summoned. This, like the dildo entrance, caused a variety of reactions.

Ryuko was about to scream to the heavens. Satsuki felt her previous headachce returning full blast. Jakuzure and everyone else stood bamboozled. Senketsu spoke.

Senketsu: I've... got no words for that.

It was... what the f**k was that?

(Y/N): Behold, THE JUSTANK!      

JUSTANK

(Y/N): This is the ultimate battle tank! Designed to perfection by the gods of the church of GoFuckYourself! Powered by the mysterious element called Fuckyounium! Now, make witness to the ultimate weapon!

A hatch opened from the bottom of the tank, revealing... 

(Y/N): SECRET HAX SUPERWEAPON: NEO ARMSTRONG CYCLONE JET ARMSTRONG CANNON!

NEO ARMSTRONG CYCLONE JET ARMSTRONG CANNON

It was a f*****g toy tank that had a d**k for a gun, go figure.

Ryuko looked like she was about to have an aneurysm ou of sheer insanity. Satsuki felt a f*****g migraine and facepalmed, all the while while cursing fate. Sanageyama, the blind motherfucker, had no idea. Mako gasped and yelled.

Mako: Hey! It's really perfect!

(Y/N) had heard this and smiled like a proud father.

(Y/N): She completed the reference! So proud of her!

Satsuki: Fate is indeed a cruel mistress...

Ryuko, being the bitchy prude she is, adressed this with no small amount of exasperation.

Ryuko: WHAT THE f**k IS THAT s**t?! 

(Y/N): 'THAT s**t' IS THE PINNACLE OF ALL THINGS MANLY! GURREN LAGANN AIN'T GOT NOTHING ON THIS MECH! BEHOLD IT'S AWESOME POWER! 

The tip of the gun began filling with a white energy. Meanwhile, lightling crashed in the background, as if to give the awesome weapon the glory it deserved. The tip of the gun soon glowed white, nearly blinding everyone.

(Y/N): IMMA FIRIN' MY c**k-LASER! ULTIMATE MOVE: KAGE-BUNSHIN-DETROIT-GETSUGA-GOMU-GOMU-NO-DEVIL-BAT-FALCON-SANTORYU-CHIDORI-ZA-WARUDO-UGANDAN-CHUNGUS-THANOS-LITTLE-MAC-IS-A-MOTHERFUCKING-FAG-COCKMEHAMEHAAA!!!!!!!

A huge laser suddenly fired off the tip. By huge, I mean like f*****g HUGE, like One-Piece-Story-Length huge. The beam blinded Jakuzure, making her incapable of dodging the beam.

Jakuzure: W-WHAAAAAT?!!

(Y/N): I SHALL PIERCE THE HEAVENS WITH MY DRILL!!!! FOR NARNIAAAA!!!!

The beam passed the red clouds and pierced the heavens, #GurrenLagann. The beam could even be seen from outer space, #FinalFlash. Everyone was blinded by the sheer awesomeness, except for Satsuki, who was questioning her current opinion of (Y/N).

Satsuki: I would be lying if I said that I wasn't attracted to him... but it's too much insanity.

She then gazed at his face, taking note of the maniacal glee he had on it.

Satsuki: ...The only man that I have taken an interest in is the craziest of them all...

Ryuko was hovering with much difficulty. She had a dead expression on her face.

Ryuko: ...Why is he so crazy?... Of all the bastards I could fall in love with... Why did I pick the craziest?

The beam lasted for a whole two minutes, before it began to fade out. After 30 seconds or so, it disappeared completely, and there was no sign of Jakuzure. Ryuko flew down and returned Senketsu to it's normal form. She walked up to (Y/N), who had jumped down from the Justank and stood in front of it with no small amount of swagger.

Ryuko: (Y/N)... What the f**k? Why did you... *sigh* That was way past overkill, y'know?

(Y/N): I see that you're left speechless from pure awesomeness. Don't worry, it'll fade out...NOT! s**t like that will stay in your brain for eternity!

Ryuko: I know... and that scares the s**t outta me...

(Y/N): Jeez, you look like you need a good f*****g to snap out of your funk.

Ryuko didn't even blush at this. She just sighed and looked to the heavens, to see if there was any sign of Jakuzure. There was a single speck falling out from the sky. It was the pink haired loli, who was unconscious and her uniform completely obliterated. (Y/N) sighed and jumped to catch her.

(Y/N): Maybe that was a bit overdone... Nah. No kill like overkill!

THIRD BATTLE OUTCOME: WINNER: JUSTANK 

(Y/N) landed on the ground with Jakuzure on his arms. He set her on the ground, cracked his knuckles and applied a secret technique. He jumped and stood on top of her.

(Y/N): WAKE THE HELL UP, PINK b***h!

He then slammed down on her in a WWE fashion. Jakuzure's eyes bulged out of their sockets and then started to cough. She then stood up groggily and found (Y/N) in front of her picking his nose and Ryuko's dead look was fading away.

Jakuzure: Wha?... What the hell happened?

(Y/N): You tanked the ultimate technique, that's what happened. You're alive, surprisingly, guess the plot still needs you.

Ryuko: Wait? You aimed to kill her?

(Y/N): Nope, totally didn't. Anyway, pink, your uniform's literally desintegrated and we still have plenty of stamina to go. And I can launch as much of those lasers as I want, so ya better step out of the arena, or I'll bring out the rubber chicken.

Jakuzure growled slightly, but complied. Seems it was finally Sanageyama's turn. Before anything, the Justank exploded in a cloud of smoke and when it settled, the capsule it was on stood on the ground. (Y/N) walked up to it and put it in his pocket.

(Y/N): Rest my son, you did well today.

Sanageyama stood up, eager to fight.

Sanageyama: It's finally my turn, isn't it?

Ryuko: *sigh* Come on, Sanageyama. Time to finish our fight from the other day. I won't run this time.

Sanageyama: The woman who took my eyes and gave me the world. This time, I will crush you! I will take the liberty of putting her down, Lady Satsuki!

Satsuki: Very well. Fourth Battle: Begin.

FOURTH BATTLE: BEGIN

(Y/N): Welp, he has beef with you. And I feel like my job's done for today. Yo Gear Eyes, this one's up to you.

Ryuko: Yeah, leave it to me!

He then returned to his spiked tower, when he arrived, he was horrified at what he saw.

(Y/N): OOOOOHHH NOOOOOO, MY f*****g BOOMBOX! WHAT THE HELL?! THAT s**t TOOK SOME MONEY TO BUY! I SHOULD HAVE COATED IT WITH FUCKYOUNIUM TO MAKE IT INDESTRUCTIBLE!

He then stood on his kness, sending a silent prayer for his boombox. He then got over it quickly and watched the upcoming fight. He noticed something odd, something... pink.

(Y/N): What the hell? Whozzat? And why the f**k do I want to kill her without even knowing her name?

As Ryuko and Sanageyma transformed and charged at each other, a blonde girl in a pink dress and a purple flower eyepatch appeared literally the f**k outta nowhere and stood between them.      

Ryuko: The f**k?!

Sanageyama: Who are you?!

(Y/N) saw Satsuki widen her eyes in alarm.

Satsuki: Sanageyama! Get back!

(Y/N): Woah, she managed to give Eyebrows a scare. Se must be kinda dangerous.

(Scene Break)

Ryuko: Who the hell is that?!

Satsuki: Why have you come here, Nui Harime?       

NUI HARIME

(Y/N): Oi, is she?... Is she leaning on the f*****g letters?! She's a fourth wall breaker, hoy s**t! And Jesus Christ, even her name sounds annoying!

Nui: *giggles* This isn't fair, Lady Satsuki, doing something this fun without telling me!

Satsuki: I am not obligated to tell you anything.

Nui: My gosh, how cold! I thought you and were hearts beating as one! Both day and night!

Nui then, somehow, managed to play with Satsuki's hair, despite being so far away from her. (Y/N) saw this and prepared his rubber chicken.

Satsuki: Don't be insincere. You associate with no one.

Nui: You're as breathtaking as ever! Your icy stare and your icy skin are simply too much! My fingers are tingling!

(Y/N): Oi, oi, reader-tachi, can I f*****g kill her? I wanna kill her so bad!

Sanageyama: Stand aside woman. I won't tolerate any further interference in my fight with Matoi.

Nui: No can do! After all, I'm the one who's going t fight her?

Sanageyama: I told you to get out of the way!

Sanageyama swung his bamboo sword in an overhead strike, but Nui blocked it with her umbrella like it was nothing.

Sanageyama: What?!

(Y/N): Oh great, an overpowered psycho loli. Just what this fic needed. Next thing would be an incestuous mother... Oh, wait.

Before Sanageyama could go for another strike, Nui reached inside his uniform and pulled a red string.

Nui: Go back to being a naked ape!

She pulled on it and Sanageyama's uniform instantly came apart. She then proceeded to sned him out of the ring, naked.

Satsuki: She severed it's banshi?!

Nui: You're okay with this, right, Lady Satsuki?

Satsuki: You're asking for my permission?

Nui: Yes! I have never disobeyed you, have I?

Ryuko: Whatever, let's get this s**t over with! Kiryuin, if I hafta got through her to get to you, I don't give a damn on who she is!

Satsuki: ...Suit yourself.

FOURTH BATTLE: RYUKO MATOI VS NUI HARIME

Ryuko: Oi, where's your uniform?

Nui: I don't wear such crude things. But enough about me, show me your kamui!

She then pulled a Slender Man and appeared right behind Ryuko.

Ryuko: The f**k?!

Nui: Are you holding back because I'm dressed like this? Having toruble? In that case, wanna see something enat? Ready or not!

She then reached into her cleavage to pull something that left Ryuko speechless. It was a purple scissor blade, the missing half.       

Nui: Ta-dah!

(Y/N): Oh shit.... this just went from 0 to f*****g 1,000,000 in a milisecond.

Ryuko: That's-!

Nui: Yep! It's the other half of your scissor blade! I got this from your dear dead daddy!

Ryuko: Then... it was you?

Nui: Yu-huh! I'm the one who killed him!

(Y/N) looked at her with wide eyes, then at Ryuko. She had her eyes shadowed by her hair. She seemed calm, but (Y/N) could only sense a rapidly increasing rage. The pressure was so strong that her glove's clip triggered her transformation without her moving.

Ryuko: YOU BIIIIIIIIITCH!!!!!!!!!!