The Cheating Millionaire

Chapter 13 postnatal depression

SEAN'S POV

Summer didn't message again after our messages during the night. I'm now worried I may have upset Summer with what I said, but I've been waiting over 6 months now to explain myself, I just couldn't hold it in any longer. I don't blame Summer for still being angry with me she spent her entire pregnancy without the support from me. This morning I decided to swing by the supermarket on the way to summers. I could see yesterday there was only a few days left of ready made formula so I cleared the shelf of what's left. I also brought more cotton wool as that seems to be used quickly as well, so therefore I grabbed 4 bags. I also brought Summer her faverote chocolate bar.

When I arrived and knocked on the door to Summers house kenny opened the door.

"Thank god your here, summer has gone." Kenny says.

"What? where did she go?" I ask worried.

"She came in at 6:49am waking us up crying handing Skylar over who was also crying. Apperently Skylar had cried for half hour straight and Summer couldn't figure out what was wrong. It turned out to be trapped wind. But before Summer could find that out she said she was a awful mum not knowing what was wrong she was crying and left the bedroom. Before I had a chance to get up and dressed, I was about to go to Summers bedroom to calm her down but instead I heard the front door go. I rushed downstairs so see she had driven off. We don't have a car here so I couldn't go look for her. I thought she would be back by now but she isn't. She has turned her phone off as well." Kenny says frantic.

" Kenny you and Sandy look after Skylar, I know where Summer will be. I will text you and let you know how she is when I arrive there" I say running back to the car.

As I drive towards the beach, I can't help but worry. I know whenever everything gets to much for Summer she will go sit on the beach and it's freaking November early morning she will get ill.

When I reach the beach I quickly see Summer sat on the sand watching the sea waves crashing around the shoreline. It cold from the wind. Summer is wearing a grey jumper with black leggings not even a coat hat or scarf. I run over and can hear summer crying. I quickly take my coat off and wrap it around summers body before pulling her into my arms.

"It's alright I'm here now" I say rubbing summers back as she crys on my shoulder.

"Skylar is fine she just had trapped wind." I say hoping it will help.

I waited for summer to stop crying.

"We can't stay here we have a little girl who is waiting for us Summer." after a while, yet Summer just continued to cry as if it was months of held up tears finally pouring out.

"She wouldn't stop crying and I didn't know what was wrong. So I went and handed her to my parents. Then I felt even more of a failure because, I should know how to look after her. so I just left knowing she would be okay with them while I came and got my thoughts together. I was going to go back soon I swear I just needed a moment to cry in peace. I needed to let it all out" Summer says through tears.

"Don't worry Skylar is fine I promise and everyone is just worried about you. You should of called me, I'd of come straight over to be there for you and help work out what was wrong with Skylar together. Your not alone in this so stop trying to conquer the world alone. Your so stubborn you should share your burdens not try to deal with everything alone" I say. Then I stand up while keeping summer in my arms and carry her back to my car. As soon as we get into the car I put the heating on to warm Summer up since she is freezing.

"I'm sorry Summer says while tears still slide down her face and she just looks out the window looking so sad and lost in the world right now. It breaks my heart to see Summer this distressed.

"Don't be sorry, I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. Don't worry it won't happen again" I say.

I quickly text Kenny

I've found Summer she is safe, but won't stop crying. She is freezing from sitting by the sea side. Have a hot bath made for when we arrive back. Also call Dr Smith see if she can do a house call please.

Then I strap Summers seat belt in before doing mine.

"Summer please stop crying, I hate to see you so upset" I say wiping a tear away from her face.

PING

Kenny

Sandy already called Dr Smith half hour ago. Dr Smith said once Summer was found to take her straight into the hospital and she would see her right away.

I quickly reply

To Kenny

Thankyou, I will take Summer now and let you know what happens.

"Summer we are going to see Dr Smith I'm worried you may have caught a cold or something worse" I say starting the car.

"You all think I'm a bad mum don't you!" Summer says while crying.

"No we don't! I promise on my life I don't think that." I say squeezing Summers hand gently to try and offer some comfort.

SUMMERS POV

I don't know why I couldn't stop crying and pull myself together.

Even when we pulled up outside the hospital I was still crying.

I let my daughter down, I left the house knowing she was crying what kind of mother did that make me?

Sean carried me into the hospital because I was crying so much and didn't speak to him when he was asking me questions after we pulled up.

Before I knew it I was sat on a chair and Dr Smith is talking to me.

"Summer tell me what's going on?" Dr Smith asks.

I'm the worst mum ever, before she was even born I couldn't give her the family unit she deserved" I start to say through tears.

"That's my fault! don't you dare blame yourself for that." Sean says inturputting me.

"Shut up! You don't think I know that" I say.

"Okay but that doesn't mean your a bad mother Summer" Dr Smith says.

"Then I couldn't keep her in to full term she didn't even grow at the correct weeks while I was pregnant and then I couldn't figure out why she was crying and wouldn't stop. I just want to be a good mum but I can't get it right" I say crying.

"Summer you are a good mum you did everything right, and baby's cry for hours at time. I remember when I had my son I cried half a day because he didn't sleep a whole night! I thought I'd be a able to deal with anything being a doctor, but it's not that easy and simple. It's natural to have these moments. And it's not your fault Skylar is small or came early it's was taken out of your control you shouldn't blame yourself. You did the right thing you came here for help. And this morning you asked for help and made sure your baby was safe before leaving." Dr Smith says.

" I was going to go home I just needed some time to cry and pull myself together, I swear I want to be a good mum don't take my baby away from me " I say cry even more at the thought of someone taking my baby away from me.

" Oh summer, no one is going to take your baby away. But I am going to prescribe you some tables. I belive your suffering from postnatal depression." Dr Smith says.

"No that's when parents hate there baby's, I don't hate Skylar I love her" I say

"No it doesn't just mean that, it can happen when mum's think that there baby's hate them or they hate there baby's or like you, you feel like a bad mum when in reality your a excellent mum. Childbirth can lead to it also and your feeling guilty over Skylar being born a little bit early you shouldn't though, she is here safe and sound." Dr Smith says.

"Really?" I ask.

"Yes really, I had the midwife go to yours straight after your mum phoned and told her to ring me when she was there, I actually just finished a phone call with her just before you arrived. She recommends Skylar have some colic drops, some baby's are stubborn with there wind and it will help so I will prescribe some of them as well. I want you take the antidepressants tablets it will help your emotions and mood especially when your hormones are still everywhere. I want to see you in 2 weeks time to see how you are coping." Dr Smith says.

"Okay Im sorry I don't know why these tears won't stop." I say.

"It's alright that's the hormones for you, here have enougher tissue." Dr Smith says.

"Sean can you go ask the receptionist to bring Summer a cup of tea please and wait outside a moment while I check Summer over." Dr Smith says.

"Okay, but I'm not going without taking you back with me summer" Sean says.

"Okay" I say then Sean walks out the room.

SEAN'S POV

I went and told the receptionist what Dr Smith said then I rang Kenny

RING RI

"How is she?" Kenny says.

"Dr Smith believes she is suffering with postnatal depression she feels a failure for Skylar being small and then being born earlier and not having a family unit she deserves, then this morning just tipped her over the edge. The Dr is now giving Skylar a check over and prescribed postnatal depression tablets with colic drops for Skylar." I say.

"Yes the midwife just left saying she will be back in 2 days to check in on them." Kenny says.

"Kenny I'm going to have my mum drop some clothes off even if I have to sleep on the sofa Im not leaving you and Sandy to have to look after them both alone, plus I have a car incase Summer runs out overwhelmed again. Once Summer is more settled, I will then back off abit what do you think?" I say.

" I think it's a good idea has summer stopped crying yet? "Kenny says

" No, How's Skylar?" I ask.

"She has just finished a bottle and Sandy is currently winding her but she is fine" he says.

"Okay well I'm going to go, I will let you know when we leave here. I will get the prescription as well on the way back." I say.

"Okay Sean hopefully the Dr will calm Summer down soon, don't worry about Skylar just focus on Summer for us right now" he says

"I will, speak soon bye." I say

"Bye Sean" Kenny says before I hang up the phone.

I then paced outside the doctors office, the receptionist had already taken a drink in while I was on the phone.

When the door finally open the door I hurried over.

"Dr how is Summer now?" I ask.

"Calmer and tired, you may take her home but please get these prescriptions out for Summer and Skylar." Dr Smith says handing them over.

"Thankyou" I say as I see Summer stand up and walk towards the door

"Thanks Dr Smith" Summer says

"It's completely fine, if you need to talk again please don't hold it inside just pick the phone up and ask to speak with me okay?" Dr Smith says.

"Okay I will" Summer says while trying to attempt a half smile.

"Thanks" I say to the Dr.

"Are you ready to leave Summer?" I ask.

"Yes" summer simply replys while just walking out.

"Give her time" the Dr says as I start to follow Summer.

I can't help but feel all of this is my fault the first thing Summer blamed herself for was Skylar not having the completed family Summer imagined she would have, and that's definitely not her fault its mine. Everything else couldn't be helped.

When we reached the car, Summer got in and just looked tired, we stopped by the chemist on the way to get the prescriptions. Summer came in with me and brought a few bits as well. Then we headed back to summers home.

SUMMERS POV

As we walk back indoors my dad comes running out into the hallway.

"Summer how are you now honey?" my dad says.

"I'm okay, I'm sorry I just needed a moment." I say as my dad hugs me.

"Oh don't worry about it, everyone in life needs a moment at one time or enougher" he says.

"Okay were is mum and Skylar?" I ask

"Skylar is asleep in the front room and your mum is running you a bath." my dad says.

"Okay thanks" I say walking into the front room.

I pick Skylar up and go to walk upstairs

"Where are you going?" Sean asks

"Upstairs with Skylar, I missed my baby so I'm spending some time with her alone" I say continuing to go upstairs.

Sean follows behind me

"I said me and Skylar are going upstairs alone go sit in the front room you can see her soon" I say.

Sean goes back downstairs.

"Oh love your back how are you feeling?" my mum asks.

"I'm okay sorry about earlier." I say.

"It's fine, I ran you a bath want me to take Skylar for you?" my mum asks.

"No, I want to be left alone for moment mum please." I say.

"Okay, well you know where we are if you need us." my mum says.

"Actually could you grab me a few ready made bottles please? I forgot them." I say.

"Of course I can" my mum says leaving my bedroom.

I lay on the bed and cuddle up to Skylar.

Sean comes in with the bottles. "Your mum asked me to bring these up for you" he says putting them on the bedside table.

"Thanks." I say without taking my eyes of Skylar but I can see Sean out the corner of my eyes looking at me an dSkylar the whole time.

Sean then walks to the door and turns to look at us

"We will be fine" I say.

"I know I just wanted look at Skylar a moment" he says.

"You can see her soon right now I need a moment alone with Skylar, everyone wants time with Skylar when rightfully she should still all be mine! still in my womb where I can look after her and protect her so just give me a moment please." I say

"Okay, I will be downstairs if you need anything" he says before going out and closing the door.

"Little princess that's better isn't it just me and you. I know everyone thinks I can't look after you, that I keep failing you even I think so. Don't worry I will do better for you mummy loves you alot" I say before kissing Skylars cheek. I then place her in the next to me crib and I sleep as close as possible with my finger interlocked with Skylars hand.

The next two times Skylar woke up for a feeds I fed her changed her nappys and cuddled her back to sleep before sleeping again myself holding her hand

The third time Skylar woke up I noticed Sean sat up the other side of my bed I ignored him and picked Skylar up.

"Do you plan on hiding up here all day?" Sean asks.

"No i was planning on coming down with Skylar after this feed, I just wanted to enjoy some mother and daughter time.

We had cuddles during your feed times and I changed your nappys before we feel asleep each time holding hands, isn't that right lil Princess" I say soothing her enough so I could prepare a bottle.

I then started feeding Skylar her bottle. While Sean just continues to sit watching us.

"Why did you come in here?" I ask Sean.

"Don't worry I'm not going to take over, I'm happy just watching being near you both" Sean says.

"I don't need babysitting" I say

"I know you don't but your hogging our daughter which is fine, I just miss looking at Skylars beautiful face, plus your mum is worrying it was either your mum come kidnap Skylar or I me" Sean says.

"No one is kidnapping my baby weather related or not, I simply wanted some alone time with my baby and that's what I've done Its not a crime you know." I say.

"I know, I won't let anyone kidnap our daughter either. But at least this way I can sit be quiet while you still enjoy your bonding time" Sean says.