forbidden desires

chapter 17

Ashley.

it'd been another long week of classes, work and cheer. last week's game didn't end well and coach was pissed so the guys ran the next practice for the whole practice a few threw up and I knew it was because they'd been drinking at the bar the night before. they'd all took turns hitting on me telling me to come to one of their parties I just continued to ignore them.

hopefully tomorrow's game goes better but considering our quarterback has been in drinking since I started my shift at 8 and it's now 10 I don't think it's going to go any different.

didn't really matter to me either way I just enjoyed cheering.

I was making round down the bar when I came face to face with the blue eyes that had been on my mind lately. when he saw me he smiled

he was in jeans and tee tonight and looked s little more like he belongs. I cleared my throat

" what can I get you?"

he raised a brow

" what would you give to a man whose ego is hurt?"

I laughed

" whiskey?"

he nodded and I poured him one

" that all?"

he shook his head

" what else?"

he c****d his head to the side

" you didn't call"

I shook my head

" whynt?"

I shrugged

" why would I ? clearly you've got an important job, I'm in my first year of college working here and my big dream in life is to open a bakery in my small home town "

he nodded leaning in and motioned for me too also

so I did hesitant

" I could've learned all of that over a call. but getting to see you again is even better. although I would've liked a proper date "

I blushed shaking my head

" I'm not looking for a one night stand sorry"

he chuckled

" that's good because I'm not either. just dinner. maybe a little conversation? and see what happens after that?"

I sighed I mean what could it hurt? he realizes we don't match and he doesn't show back up or call again?

" are you asking?"

he nodded

" okay "

I took the leap. biting my lip and he gave me his big bright smile.

" tomorrow? lunch before the game?"

I thought about it I guess that could work

" okay I can do that "

he smiled taking his shot

" okay Ashley can I have your number?"

I thought about it for a minute. I don't have any stopping me and I don't see the harm in this I mean he doesn't seem like a crazy person and my aunt says I need to start putting myself out there more.

I grabbed the pen behind the bar and wrote it on a napkin

" yes!" he shouted and I laughed shaking my head

" okay you might actually be crazy"

he laughs

" no just a man who has been thinking about you since last weekend and I really hoped you'd call but then you didn't so I had to at least shoot one more shot"

....

it's been about two weeks since Jake started coming around. our first date went extremely well, I was surprised that we actually did have things in common. he'd finished school early and now at 24 he was working for his dad's company. he didn't seem to mind that I was only 19. we'd sat and talked for so long that when we realized the time I was greatful all my things were at the school for me to change into for the game. we laughed the whole way racing through traffic so I wouldn't be late.

after the game he met up with me again and introduced me to his parents and I met his brother even though I'd already met him I didn't say that in front of his parents.

they were sweet people you could tell they thought very highly of both of their kids. they were some what shocked to see Jake with me but they tried not to let it show.

on the way home I did explain to Jake that his brother had already tried to hook up with me in return he took my hand and kissed it. saying

" trust me I'm aware of the way my brother acts and I also feel like you have more respect for yourself than he can handle"

I blurted out in that moment that I was a virgin still. we were on the road between my apartment and the city so there wasn't much traffic. he stopped the car pulling it off to the side of the road and I got really nervous. he turned to me in his sit and I managed to look up at him and found him looking at me smiling.

" wow. I mean I'm surprised at a lose for words I'm not trying to say I expected you to be an easy lay but the uniform definitely makes it hard to keep my own eyes off of you I can only imagine what other guys think. and I've watched you get hit on multiple times at the bar. we don't have to rush into anything. I'm enjoying getting to know you "

hearing his words I finally met out a breath I was holding.

the rest of the drive home we just chatted about normal things. he walked me to my door and kissed me. the kiss didn't make sparks run through my body the way chases had and I immediately made myself stop comparing the two. obviously the thing chase and I had was just s****l tension on top of it being forbidden.

Jake was a perfect gentleman the next couple weeks. he took me on a couple more dates and he'd come into the bar some nights when I was working a long shift and just order a few things to have conversations with me. it was nice to actually have someone care I guess.

last night we went on a date and like all the others we had fun, we'd went to see a movie and had dinner. I invited him in my apartment for a drink before he went back to the city which lead to a heavy make out session. he'd officially asked me to be his girlfriend and I happily accepted.

I still didn't feel those sparks that I had hoped for but he was a pretty good kisser. his hands never wandered to far from my hips and every now and then be would let them slide over my breast.

it was definitely different than with Chase but I could also see that he was trying to be a gentleman so I didn't push things.

I'd just finished getting ready for my day sighing out, I have on shorts and a flannel open with a white tank under it. my sleeves rolled up and some sandals, it's still pretty warm out even though it's already October. today is Ellie's birthday and Jake and I are going to her party. before I invited him I checked that it was okay with Ellie and her mom and they were both excited to meet him. my aunt would be there also so she's also excited.

me my nerves are a wreck, I finally got to the nerve to tell Jake about the relationship not relationship between chase and I since he is Ellie brother. he didn't seem fazed or worried about meeting him today.

my hair was down in big waves, I'd gotten a few highlights over the summer that were still noticable but nothing to crazy.

I was brought from my thoughts when I heard a knock on my door. when I opened it I smiled, Jake standing there smiling wearing shorts and a polo shirt. he looked handsome he was definitely a clean cut guy and always took care of his looks even if he didn't go to the gym much.

" hey beautiful"

he says making me blush from checking him out.

" hey yourself."

he chuckled

" are you ready?"

I nod turning and grabbing Ellie's gift and my purse .

the car ride over my stomach was doing flips, I hadn't seen chase in a while and I have no idea how I'm supposed to act. would he say something about Jake? probably not I doubt he cares.

Jake takes my hand kissing it.

" stop worrying babe everything will be fine and we will have a fun day"

I sighed out nodding he thinks I'm nervous for him to meet my aunt. I know she will like him so that isn't the problem but I don't really want to to him I'm nervous of him meeting a guy who wasn't even really an ex. ugh!

we pulled up to Ellie's house and I was glad she was having her party there and not chases, I hadn't stepped foot in his house since that night.

Jake got out opening my door and grabbing my things and my hand with the other.

knocking Ellie answered the door pulling me in for a hug, she's gotten to where I'd get a few surprise ones and I was happy she was comfortable with me.

she brought us inside where everyone was ready and waiting. my aunt and Ellie's mom gathered around Jake quickly throwing questions out.

I shook my head

" y'all let him breath"

auntie waved her hand at me

" it isn't everyday you bring someone home. okay it's never but you have to understand our excitement."

I blushed and Jake put his arm around me

" it's fine really I'm honored. to answer your questions I'm 24 and work for my dad's company, hopefully one day I'll be running it. I met this pretty lady by chance and even though she rather rudely threw my number away I went back and took another chance just hoping she'd give me the time of day"

the two women awed as he kissed my head

Ellie grabbed my hand and pulled me away towards the kitchen

" he's cute"

she giggled and I nodded smiling

" so you like him"

I nodded again

" yes he's been very sweet to me and isn't pushing things to fast"

she squealed as I shook my head

" enough about me. where Timmy?"

she smiled at his name

" he's out back with Chase they are getting the grill ready I believe."

I tried not to let my nerves show but she saw it

" have you talked with him"

I shook my head

" there isn't anything to talk about. we will just be polite as we've always been"

she sighed

" okay I'm going to introduce Jake to Timmy so maybe the ladies will leave him alone"

I let out a laugh

" I'll be behind you just need a minute and I'm gonna grab a drink"

she gave me a smile before heading out. I left to go to the restroom before finding my drink.

back in the kitchen I was pouring some tea when I smelled his deep cologne behind me but I tried not to let my body react.

his front pressed very lightly to my back. he let his large rough finger lightly rub my hand on the counter.

" boyfriend huh?"

I gulped nodding we hadn't been this close in so long my heart was beating out of my chest.

" does his touch make your heart race the way it's doing for me right now?"

I turned quickly pushing him back pointing at him and his stupid handsome smirking face. damn it he'd been in the sun, his hair a little darker now his eyes that always suck me in looking me over his body definitely still just as hard as it used to be if not more. I snapped myself out of it.

" you have no right to ask me those questions coach and I'd appreciate it if we could just pretend like we are civil the way we always have"

the smirk never leaving his face as he bit his lip

" I like the hair. and I love the fire that hasn't left your eyes. I hope he makes you squirm the way I used to. but most of all I hope he makes you happy "

my eyes were watery I didn't want to have this conversation with him not with him standing there looking at me like that.

" please chase "

I whispered out and he leaned in kissing the side of my head

" I'll play nice as long as he treats you right "

he whispered to me and I nodded as he sighed

with that he walked away leaving me standing there trying to find my right mind all over again.

chase.

Ellie had brought Jake out and our parents were right behind them gushing over how sweet he was.

Ellie had given me the heads up that ash was bringing someone home but I guess I hadn't actually thought about how I'd feel when I saw him.

I quickly ducked into the house looking for her.

when I found her f**k I wasn't ready for it. she looked even more beautiful than she had, I hadn't seen her since graduation party then she took off for the summer. I knew it was just easier for me.

her body still responds to mine like a magnet you can't turn off and damn did I miss that.

I knew I'd f****d up now that she had officially moved in to dating. hell for all I know she could've been going wild at college but looking at her blushed face just from having my body so close I knew that wasn't true. I knew she was still just as sweet as she was even if this jackass was now her boyfriend. she told me he treated her right so I pulled myself back and left her standing there, I shouldn't be alone with her.

walking out back mama calls me over

" chase honey this is Jake Ashley's boyfriend Jake this is chase Ellie's older brother"

he smirked as he held his hand out for me to shake as if he knew who I was already, surely she hadn't told him we'd somewhat been together right?

" nice to meet you Jake. so you go to college with ash?"

he chuckled

" no not exactly she goes with my brother though. I work for my dad company"

I nodded lighting the grill giving my hands something to do

" you coach right?"

I nodded

" Ashley said yalls season was amazing last year. how's it looking this year?"

i shrugged

" pretty good so far. you into football?"

he smirked chuckling a little

" nah not really, I was more into books but my brother plays for the college and Ashley's cheering makes it worth watching "

ah now I see why he's smirking so much. I stood up straight squaring my shoulders he wants to size me up for whatever reason it won't work for me. he's definitely not into fighting and I'm much bigger than he is, being trapped in an office all day hasn't done him any favors.

" Jake did you try my aunt's cheese dip it's to die for"

ash came up grabbing his hand and his attention from me we both looked down at her he was smiling at her but she was shooting daggers at me.

I just shook my head turning back to the grill.

we soon sang happy birthday to my sister and she opened her gifts.

eating around the table I couldn't help but notice ash wasn't eating like she used to, she'd taken a few bites of her burger but then acted as if she was finished.

after that was done it was time for cake.

" alright birthday girl gets the first slice then everyone help yourself"

mama said as she started cutting the cake.

I watched as everyone made their way to get some, but not Ashley. I finally made my way and got a piece before walking out the backdoor, seeing her sitting on mamas porch swing just looking over the yard. I say down offering her the cake but she shook her head and I raised a brow.

she just shrugged at me.

so I started eating it

" everything okay ash?"

she chuckled but it didn't sound like she was amused

" yeah everything is fine. I just ugh I don't know I'm ready to go home I didn't expect this to be so weird"

I sighed turning to look at her but she didn't look at me

" I didn't mean to make this hard for you"

I watched her roll her eyes

" yeah as if I weren't sizing him up earlier"

now I chuckled

" okay maybe I did do that but I mean he has a way of working my nerves"

she shook her head sighing

" when's the last time you went riding or let yourself go to your happy place?"

at this she looked at me and I could see her surprise in her eyes

" I don't know really I guess when I moved out, I'm sure Ellie has told you about that. but I've been busy, college, work, cheer"

" dating"

she bit her lip

" yeah I guess that too"

I smiled

" well don't let yourself get so stressed. we're only guys and it isn't like he knows about me"

she raised a brow looking at me smiling

" you told him?"

I asked my eyes wide as she giggled

" yeah I mean it isn't like I went into details I just said we thought about dating and that didn't work out"

I nodded of course she didn't go into details why would she

" how about you seeing anyone?"

I shook my head sighing as she reached over taking a bite of my cake

" I've been out a few times but nothing really stuck"

she nodded finishing my cake and this brought a smile to my face she used to steal my food all the time.

" well I hope you find your happy chase"

I looked at her in the eyes

" have you found yours ash?"

I didn't know if I was ready for the answer but I needed to know how serious she was about this guy even if it hurt hearing it.

" Ashley baby ready to head out?"

Jake called from behind us and her eyes left mine to look at him and she gave him a smile nodding

she then looked back at me and shrugged

" see you around coach "

and just like that they were gone.

I didn't know how to feel and I knew trying to ruin her relationship wasn't something I needed to do if she was actually happy.

I sighed out as I finished the dishes in mamas kitchen

" you shouldn't have let her go ya know"

Ellie said from behind me and I let my head hang as I leaned against the counter

" what's done is done El"

she put her hand on my back

" but is it really?"

and then she was gone. I sighed out before telling everyone goodbye. mama gave me a tight hug and I knowing look but I just shook my head she knows I messed up my chance with ash but I know she doesn't want me messing with her relationship.

that night I laid in bed trying to sleep but I couldn't stop thinking about if he was holding her. was he making her squirm the way I did? was she sleeping next to him tonight?

Ashley.

I was glad when we left, I needed away from Chase he makes my mind go in to many different directions and I don't need that. Jake makes me happy and I don't need chase messing with my heart again.

Jake and I were cuddling on my couch and I was feeling so many emtions I just wanted to feel something else. so I got up straddling him and he looked at me surprised

" what are you doing babe?"

I smirked at him batting my lashes

" wanna have some fun?"

he was surprised by my boldness I'd definitely toned down a few things with him since he's so calm cool and collected.

he kissed my lips and I tried to just focus on that.

but when that wasn't going anywhere I stood up as he watched me take my over shirt off and shorts leaving me in a tank and panties

I watched his eyes get big and he smiled looking over my body before pulling me to lay on the couch

" that kind of fun"

he whispered out and I nodding biting my lip watching as he let his hands drag up my thighs spreading them.

he came in contact with my core and I ached so bad I needed a release.

he let his finger slip in my panties as he moaned out.

there was no warning no getting my body ready before put a finger inside me. I gasp out and he groaned at the sound thinking I was enjoying it when actually I wasn't quite ready for that. but okay we could get there this way.

I watched him as he looked down at me and he slipped his other hand down his pants and I knew he was stroking himself. that made me a little more wet so the friction was gone thankfully

" you feel amazing baby"

he moaned out and I moaned for him.

he continues to go extremely slow as he worked himself too

" faster baby" I moaned trying to get him to give me what I needed but he never picked up the pace he never moved his fingers from inside me to work my clit but I didn't want to do it myself and him think I wasn't enjoying this.

then all to quickly he groaned out pulling his hand from me and throwing his head back.

I knew he'd just gotten his nut so I laid there and threw my own head back moaning. hoping I'd at least looked believable.

he got up and went to my bathroom. in guessing to clean up because when he came back and I was still laying there he smiled down at me

" that was fun"

he says before kissing my lips

I only nodded sitting up to grab my shorts.

it wasn't long after he was leaving saying he has an early morning and I wasn't going to ask him to stay I need time alone after that.

I showered and cleaned up before laying in bed.

was that it? surely not it had to get better than that right? I mean maybe he was just nervous since I'd told him I was a virgin. but he hadn't even made sure I'd finished and he didn't offer to clean me up or cuddle after.

I cried into my pillow. I didn't want to be selfish I didn't need those things to make me happy. he was a good guy who was interested in actually being with me. I didn't need to try to push my dirty thoughts and fantasy's on to him.