forbidden desires

chapter 30

chase.

I woke up my head was pounding and I felt like I was gonna throw up. I sat up trying to figure out what was going on.

what made matters worse was the naked Angie beside me. I threw myself back down rubbing my face. man if I hadn't lost her I sure in hell did now.

Angie moaned beside me

" why are you stressing so early baby"

I rolled my eyes pulling myself from her stepping on a used condom. well at least I was protected from whatever she might have. I shook my head cursing myself.

" baby come back to bed"

I started looking for my clothes

" I'm not your baby this was a huge mistake"

she scoffed

" seriously we spend the night together and your running away?"

I pull my shorts on glaring at her

" look considering you knew what this was going to be going in and I don't even remember half of the night don't act like I promised to love you or anything"

she rolled her eyes

" whatever chase."

I walked out shaking my head I need to go find somewhere to throw up and my damn phone. I needed to find that for sure.

I headed back to my cabin walking over their trash disgusted I'd let myself fall back into this.

after throwing up I didn't feel much better but I started some coffee trying to finish Sobering me up. grabbing my phone nothing from Ashley and Dalton told me to call when I got my s**t together.

great I've pissed them both off.

I started looking through f*******: and landed on Ashley posting pictures of the beach and some kind of aquarium or something.

I looked at the time and it was one in the afternoon.

I banged my head against the bar.

yeah that'd really done it for sure. she had posted one of herself someone had taken of her at the beach, she looked caught off guard in the picture as she made a silly face. she looked so beautiful and carefree.

I dialed Dalton's number and he picked up on the 5th ring

Dalton - yeah?

me- your with here aren't you?

Dalton - not in the way your thinking. you still with them?

I felt a tear slip down my cheek

me-I f****d up man.

I crocked out and he sighed

Dalton - can't say I didn't warn you.

me-is she okay?

Dalton - she has her moments but yeah she is making the most of her little run away.

me- are you sleeping with her.

he grunted

Dalton - you know I'm trying to be nice here because you are my friend. you maybe f*****g anything that walks at the moment but she isn't a w***e and I'm not that much of a d**k chase.

I sighed wiping my face.

Dalton - Ive gotta go she's waking up.

Ashley.

I didn't sleep much last night but I did enjoy acting like a kid in the aquarium with Dalton. I couldn't thank him enough for being here with me And not acting any different towards me. after we had lunch I needed a nap so we came back to the room he was gonna watch TV while I napped.

I woke up and he was standing on the balcony on the phone and I knew it was chase but his angry face.

he walked back in smiling at me and I sat up

" not good huh?"

he shook his head sitting beside me opening his arms. I let myself cuddle into him

" that's bad huh"

he nodded

" I'm sorry Ashley but I wouldn't ever lie to you either"

I wiped a tear

" he's made his choice when he stayed and I figured it would happen"

I shrugged and he just shook his head

" I really expected better of him"

I smiled at him lightly

" don't hate him because of this. he may have hurt me but he's still your best friend "

he chuckled

" I think he maybe the one who hates me for being here with you"

I sat up raising a brow at him. he just smirked at me

" he may not be making smart decisions but he is smart enough to know I wouldn't let you run away on your own "

I nodded sighing

" if you need to go I understand "

he shook his head

" oh no ma'am we have tattoos to get"

I perked up

" are you gonna make fun of me if I cry "

he laughed

" probably "

I rolled my eyes looking at the ones that ran down his arm. they looked really nice and I wanted one but man I was nervous.

he patted my thigh

" come on now don't be a chicken it isn't that bad. plus I'm gonna get a few drinks in your first"

he winked and I let out a laugh hoping up

" well let's do the damn thing "

he threw his arm around my shoulder

" let's "

we headed out finding a liquor store before we went he mixed me a strong drink and we sat on the beach talking while I drank it.

" so you got any secrets in your closet?"

he looked at me raising a brow thinking for a moment

" used to be me waking up naked on a random floor not to long ago "

I let out a laugh I could see that.

" and what changed for you? I mean I like to drink but I've just never been that big on all that I guess "

he laughed

" well I knew when I finished college I needed a good job, to get a good job I needed to clean up my life. so I focused back on my spring baseball since football was done and hit the weight room alot more. just trying to stay out of trouble. and everything sort of worked out. I distanced myself from them because I knew they'd never change "

I nodded

" John and eva are pregnant "

he let out a laugh

" now that's a couple that has been through hell and back I'm sure he's slept with more people drunk and then she'd take him back every time. I hope it works for them though "

I nodded

" she said they were talking of settling down "

" yeah I talked a little with him and he said after this week they were moving on with their lives, Jackson is pissed but isn't anything he can do to stop it from happening "

I nodded

" how'd chase get out?"

he sighed

" everything with Ellie and his parents. he knew he wanted to be better for them, Macy kept dragging him back into it for a while but he finally moved and moved on. Angie well she's just always been one of those girls. down for just about anything with anyone"

I made a face and he laughed

" yeah trust me it's nasty nasty "

I hit his shoulder.

" please don't tell me you have also been there"

he laughed loud falling over

" actually no. Macy is about as nasty as I can go."

I took a long drink thinking about things. why would he ruin our relationship and not fight for it but fall in bed with her when things get hard?

" well the Angie girl clearly has something I don't "

he grabbed my chin and looked me in my eyes

" do not ever compare yourself to her. just because he's a dumb ass doesn't mean she's anywhere near your level "

I nodded fighting back the tears but he wiped the few that had fallen

" now drink up sweet cheeks we've got tattoos to get "

I nodded drinking some more.

it wasn't long before I and a buzz

" okay I'm feeling 10 foot tall and bullet proof let's do this "

we both laughed at my craziness.

" let's God sweet cheeks but if you regret this in the morning I was never here"

I hit his arm as he fakes hurt.

we got to the tattoo shop and I was bouncing on my toes id always wanted one but been to scared, now I've decided to hell with it life is gonna throw me all kinds of things I might as well have fun along the way.

I showed the artist what I wanted on my phone.

just flowers going from my hip down my thigh.

he nodded and gave us a price but I had money saved it didn't matter.

Dalton's was a lion on his chest.

I told him that would hurt but he didn't seem to be bothered by it. he had several and even the tongue ring if I remember correctly. I had only ever had my ears and I cried when I got my belly button done so this should be fun.

we both sat in different chairs as they started their thing

" how long have y'all been together?"

one of the artist asked and I looked at Dalton who smirked

" 2 years hoping this tattoo leads to my name one day"

he said and I laughed out loud

" I won't be getting anyone's name"

the one doing mine laughed

" well she's hanging in there. maybe a few more drinks next time bud and you'll have your name on her"

I blushed looking away and Dalton laughed

"maybe next time just matching and we will go from there since it's her first "

I looked at him and he winked

" I do think some flowers down your thigh would be nice"

he laughed

" not happening maybe something like mountains or the ocean"

I shook my head at him we both knew I had to actually finish this one first.

we sat there and chatted with the artist as they did our tattoos and occasionally I'd tell him he was hurting me and he'd laugh telling me it wasn't even nothing.

Dalton was done before me

" can I have food please?"

I pouted at him sipping my drink and be nodded looking at the guys they just nodded

" she will be here when you get back. go so she doesn't get mad"

he laughed walking out and the guy doing my tattoo began to tell me how lucky I was he was such a nice guy. I just shook my head I knew he was a nice guy but I'm reality it wasn't like that.

he came back with tacos and chips and salsa for all of us since we were the only ones in here and I dug in happily.

by the time they'd finally finished with me I was ready to move I'd sat for to long

" will it hurt when I get up?"

the guy shook his head telling me how to take care of it and I nodded along as Dalton took the things from him. I hopped down testing it out and thankfully it didn't hurt yet. they told me the worst part would be the itch in a couple days.

we paid and walked down the side walk I was smiling

" thank you"

he looked at me wrapping his arm around me

" hey it was fun no need thanking me"

I nodded.

that night we I was trying to go to sleep I just couldn't seem to fall asleep I huffed

" just come lay with me sweet cheeks "

I blushed I didn't think that was a good idea

" I have shorts on no funny business just come so we can both sleep"

I sighed and got up I eased into his bed and he rolled over facing me

" it'll get easier I promise "

he whispered and I nodded wiping my face

" he really hurt me you know "

I heard him sigh

" I know he did and I hope he's hurting just as bad right now but right now just rest. you can deal with the rest later " I nodded snuggling into his chest and he held me as I fell asleep.

....

it's been a few months since spring break and I was doing okay. I'd been out with friends from cheer, I passed all my exams and started my culinary classes. I even had a few girls days with Ellie. I was doing better than I thought I would but sometimes I still missed him, i still wondered what he was up to, if he was doing okay.

but after spring break I didn't hear anything from him. I had talked some with Dalton and I seen him on campus from time to time. but nothing crazy. we'd just catch up, he told me chase was upset with him for spending spring break with me and he was convinced we were sleeping together, but truth be told if he bothered to ask either one of us we'd been friends since spring break and I was so thankful he was there for me during that time and yeah we had fun but it hasn't gone any further than that.

one thing I definitely missed was s*x, God I missed feeling like I was seeing stars and being naughty whenever I wanted to but I could love with out that wasn't going to go out and jump the first guy I saw.

I was just enjoying my life the best I could as of right now. this weekend I was going to have to face him because his mom was getting married to the guy she'd been seeing, I'd met him once and Ellie said he's pretty cool so I guess as long as Ellie approves that's all that really matters since she's the one still at home even though it kind of came out of nowhere. but Ellie said she was happy and even singing while she cooked again.

I'd been invited by Ms black who would soon be Mrs Lamar and Ellie so if have to suck it up and face him. but today I'm going to class then going to find a dress for this thing because I think I've earned it.

everyone knows sort of what happened between us and everyone thought that maybe we should talk it through but he never tried to contact me so I just left it alone I wasn't going to beg him especially since he was the one that ended up cheating.

chase.

I was mad at the world. I have tried a million times to send her a message but I had no idea what I'd even say to her. I knew Dalton had told her I slept with Angie and for that I stopped talking with him. he couldve at least let me try to fix things with her first before I told her. but no he has to run his mouth while he was parading around the beach with her. I'm sure by now they are together.

I wasn't doing much just trying to stay busy and do the summer work out with my team, when my mom found out what happened she was pissed so mad she didn't talk to me for a few days.

but now. headed to her house to give her more disappointing news, she's getting married this weekend and the dude, trey he's okay I mean I'd don't have to live with him. but Ellie seemed to like him so I didn't care about much else. but I thought this would be my chance to see her, maybe talk with her but then Angie showed up yesterday and now I've gotta talk to mama Because I've sat at my house trying to figure s**t out but couldn't.

" hey my boy come in"

I sighed she was so happy and I was about to ruin it.

I took a seat at the table and she handed me a cup of coffee

" what's wrong you look like your sick or haven't slept"

I shook my head hang it

" I'm sorry mama"

she took my hand

" what happened?"

I looked up looking at the wall

" Angie said she's pregnant"

she gasp grabbing her heart

she didn't say anything for the longest time

" is it yours?"

I shrugged

" I was sure I wore a condom but she says it is and I don't know what to do"

she got up and started pacing then she turned to me.

" I can't believe you. how could you do this with that tramp of all people?!"

I sighed looking down

" I know mama"

she sat back down breathing out

" all you can do is have a DNA test done."

I nodded

" but that would mean I couldn't find out until February"

she nodded sighing

" will she do it now?"

I shrugged

" I haven't asked".

she nodded

" well find out. and if not I guess you better prepare yourself one way or the other"

I put my head on the table

" how could a couple days f**k my life up so bad?"

she patted my hand

" I hate to say I told you so but I did. I told you chase and you didn't want to listen to Ashley either I'm not stupid I know she tried to help you but no you couldn't let go of your ego. and now here you are"

I couldn't look at her I couldn't even cry at this point I knew either way I'd messed up big time.

Ashley.

Ellie called this morning telling me what she'd overheard. apparently the rumors are Angie is pregnant and it's chases. at first I was angry but then I realized this had nothing to do with me. I didnt have to worry about this. I just needed to get through this wedding weekend and then I didn't have to face him again for a while .

I looked myself over in the mirror and I was happy with who I saw. I was a strong woman and I was so close to my dream of my bakery or cafe I wasn't sure what to call it anymore my dreams had gotten a little bigger lately.

I'd fixed my hair with a braid around it and left a few curls in it. letting my make up be light but noticeable and my dress was light pink, it fit my body nice and it had a slit up my right leg. if I held my leg out you could get a glimpse of my tattoo. I absolutely loved my tattoo and couldnt wait to get another. I put my shoes on and headed for the door .

I didn't have a date to the wedding but that was okay, wasn't like I was trying to show him up. he had made his bed and that was all I was going to say about that.

when I got to the beautifully decorated areas where they were having the wedding I found myself a seat, I knew Ellie was helping her mom get dressed and my aunt was probably with them also.

I sat down looking around I sighed out, I wanted to get married one day. I didn't know to who at the moment I knew I wanted a beautiful wedding like this. I wanted a man who cried as I walked down to him.. I wanted it all. and hopefully one day id have it.

" well look what the cat dragged in"

I heard from behind me and smiled turning to find Dalton standing there in a button down shirt tucked into his tan pants with his boots on.

he looked handsome as ever.

" oh hush don't act surprised that I'm here "

he chuckled sitting beside me

" well considering what I heard and the fact I know we both aren't exactly his favorite person I figured you'd ditch."

I shrugged smiling at him

" I didn't tell him to sleep with her so that's on him either way. and Ellie and mama black or should I say mama Lamar invited me, as much as I don't want to see him I wouldn't miss her day".he smiled at me knocking his shoulder with mine

" I'm proud of you sweet cheeks. you've come s long way in a few months."

I nodded smiling

" if he really wanted me he would've at least reached out I figured that out the second week. after that I just focused on myself"

he smiled at me

" well rumor has it were sleeping together so I hope it's good on your end"

I laughed hitting his shoulder

" your bad".

he shrugged

" I'm the same as you all I did was try to help his dumbass keep an amazing woman and he's mad at me because he f****d it up and I wasn't even there".

I gave him a sad smile

" I'm sorry I came between y'all"

he bumped me again

" you didn't do anything. he will realize in his own time he shouldn't have taken either of us for granted"

I nodded

" what are you doing tomorrow?"

he asked and I raised a brow he just shrugged

" thinking of taking my boat out but if you aren't busy come along I need some water therapy "

I smiled

" you know that sounds good to me when did you get a boat?"

he smiled winking at me

" after I got the new job. signed at 5 year contract so figured what they hell. next I'm gonna look for a house but I'm happy where I'm at right now "

I nodded smiling he was doing really good

" well I'll go out on your boat if you promise to try some of the food I have to make this weekend for class. this is for a final grade and I need it to be amazing "

he laughed

" you don't have to ask me twice to try food. when are you planning a bakery? this town definitely needs one?"

I shrugged

" I really don't know. thinking of findings some where I can be a Bakery but also maybe do a breakfast and lunch time also. I enjoy making it all so hopefully maybe next year I will start looking for places. I've got a bit left in college for business but I can always work around that and get it started "

he hit my shoulder with his

" I expect a free cookie when I come in "

chase.

I didn't want to go today but I knew I'd put mama through enough this week.

so I got myself dressed and down there.

it was an outside wedding with the reception in the big building behind it. I knew mama and Ellie were in there getting ready, I still couldn't believe my mom was getting married again. I was happy for her I really was but I was jealous also. I couldn't seem to get my own life together yet she was moving forward in hers.

Angie was supposed to let me know next week about going to the doctor, hopefully I'd be able to go and we'd straighten all this out and I could at least put that behind me.

she wanted me to be with her and raise this baby either way but that isn't happening if the baby is mine I will take responsibility but I'm not trying to be in relationship with her I already know that wouldn't work out. hell I don't even remember our night together clearly I remember her on top of me and flashes of Ashley also if I'm being honest.

she didn't like that I didn't want to be with her but that isn't her choice pregnant or not I would do what I needed to do with the baby was mine but other than that. no I wasn't doing that.

when I walked out my eyes landed on Dalton's back and Ashley. she was laughing at something he'd said and my heart sank, he'd told me they weren't together but yet here they are at the wedding sitting side by side.

I walked down and took a seat where I could see them but they couldn't see me. I watched them closely, they weren't exactly touching but they would smile at each other and whatever they were talking about they were both happy about.

I missed her more than I could say and I really missed my best friend. I wanted to talk to him about what I was going through but I don't even know where to start. and if he's with her now how would I even face them?

A few other people had showed up and taken seats but I couldn't stop watching them.

she stuck her tongue out at him and he did the same flashing his tongue ring.

then she got up and f**k did she like beautiful today, she definitely has on some sort of heel because she looked taller. her hair was cut some since I'd last saw her. she looked up and saw me staring and she stopped for a second. she gave me a small smile but continued on.

I just say there kicking myself , I wanted to go after her but what would I even say at this point?

I let my head hang i was ready for this day to be over.

" aren't even gonna say hello?"

Dalton asked sitting beside me and I grunted Shaking my head

" don't even know where to start".

he chuckled

" hello would be good I mean it isn't like you cheated on me"

I sighed shaking my head

" y'all here together?"

and he sighed shaking his head

" actually no. I've already told you that I'm not an ass she's been healing working on herself but she seems happy."

I nodded that didn't actually make me feel any better

" I hear congratulations are in order?"

I let out a sarcastic laugh

" I guess so. hopefully I find out for sure next week things are really f****d up right now"

he nodded patting my back

" hope you figure it all out I really do. I'm headed to find a drink, maybe we can catch up after"

I nodded my head is didnt have anything else to say. hell I'd done this to myself and now I had to sit back and watch them all move on with their lives. he may say they aren't together but I'm not stupid and he would be if he didn't try his chances I wasn't blind I could see that