Only Hope: Part One
1152 Words
Title: Only Hope
Genre: LGBT+ Romance (Song Fiction)
Warning: 16+
________________________
"I'm awake in the infinite cold.
...but you sing to me over and over again."
Finnegan
He's here again.
There's this annoying first year from the faculty of Commerce that keeps coming to my department to give me a single stemmed white rose, to greet me hello, and to wish me a good day.
His name is Brandon James.
I have been teased nonstop by not only my best friends William and Mikaela but also by the rest of the engineering basketball team. As the captain, I find that disrespectful.
Yet no matter how I tell that guy to stop bothering me, he never did. He continued doing this courting thing every day.
Wearing his uniform, a white long sleeved shirt, light blue tie that represents his faculty, black pants and shiny black shoes, he walked towards me as I got off my car at the parking lot. He's been hailed as the beautiful boy by my friends because of how neat and handsome he looks.
He extended a hand and gave me the usual flower. "Hello, Finn. I hope you have a nice day today." He took a step back as he smiled at me. He said, "I'll see you tomorrow", and then turned on his heels to leave.
He's so odd.
Everybody knows I'm not gay but what makes him keep coming back here? I had tried rejecting him subtly. Then I tried being rude. Now, I just simply take the rose and not even give him a word.
He never said he likes me. Yup, he's never confessed to me. But his actions say it all.
* * *
The university is now entering the end of the first semester. It means we'll have a break after the exams. It's been busy but that freshman still comes to me to give a rose.
At first I thought he probably didn't care about his grades as he wasted his time coming to my department but then I heard from Mika that he's actually topping his exams. Their results were coming out faster than the rest of the years and faculties.
On the last day of school, Brandon came to me with a big bouquet of red roses. Not one stemmed. Not white. It was also very odd how my chest was hammering.
I was sitting at the cafeteria, exhausted from the last exam I had. Brandon walked up to me wearing a plain yellow T-shirt, blue jeans and white sneakers. He wasn't wearing his digital wrist watch that only showed a date on it. It's weird though.
The date it always showed was today.
He smiled at me, the brightest he's ever did as he offered the bouquet. His other hand was holding an old brown teddy bear.
"Hello, Finn. Before I go, I want to tell you..." He paused and took a deep breath then smiled again. But it was a sad one. "...I want to tell you that I love you. That's all." He took a step back while I was frozen on my feet. Brandon smiled to me again and said, "Goodbye, Finn."
Goodbye?
I was frozen on my feet for I don't know how long until Liam and Mika tapped my back.
"Dude! What's with you? You turned into a statue." Liam said to me.
"Woah! He gave you a bouquet this time?" Mika said. "So? Did you accept his proposal? He confessed, right?"
"He-He did." I muttered, still looking at the entrance of the cafeteria where Brandon had exited.
"So? You rejected him?! Ugh, you dumbass."
I heard more insults from my best friends but my mind took me back to what Brandon said last.
He's never said goodbye. He always said, "I'll see you tomorrow" or "I'll see you on Monday". But never goodbye.
I didn't understand myself when I grabbed the bouquet from Mika and ran out the door. My eyes darted left and right but I couldn't see him anywhere. I ran to my car in the parking lot and headed to the Commerce building.
Like a desperate guy, I searched for Brandon, asked for his whereabouts but I came up empty. One male student approached me and told me that Brandon had already left since their faculty is now officially on vacation. I asked him if he knew Brandon's phone number. He chuckled and said, "He doesn't have one."
How could he not have one?
Who the f**k doesn't have a phone these days?
I went back to my faculty, utterly dejected. I cussed at myself for letting that kid get into my head just because he bugged me all these four and half months.
Huh... That long...
* * *
My semestral break turned out to be so boring. I couldn't have fun because all I could think was the freshman who brought me flowers. I couldn't even sleep with anyone because every time I try to hook up with someone, Brandon's smiling face haunted my vision.
So I came back to school and the first thing I did was find that annoying kid. Maybe if I see him and give him a piece of my mind, I'd stop thinking about him.
But I didn't find him.
I almost exploded at the dean of Commerce when she told me Brandon James had filed for indefinite leave of absence before he left.
The hell?!
No matter how hard I tried looking for him, I couldn't. When I asked the student affairs for his address, I got it and went to the said place but the apartment landlady said he's ended his lease two weeks ago.
That was when the break started.
I was growing impatient as days passed. I was becoming a mess. My parents had pointed out that I must have been heartbroken because I clearly showed signs of it. They didn't know why I was looking all messed up and had been losing concentration on my games.
My best friends had the same opinion. In the end, I admitted that I felt abandoned. My heart felt abandoned.
I was falling for Brandon and didn't even realize how he could affect my life once he leaves and disappears without a trace.
I had one thing left that I could do to find him.
I asked my dad to help me. And he was happy to do so. He got his men to search for Brandon. After a few weeks of search, my dad came to me and told me that they found him. But he didn't look happy.
Something in me was terrified. And as he handed me a piece of paper that contained Brandon's whereabouts, my hand trembled. I read it and as I did, my vision became blurred.
"I want to see him," I said to my dad with tears rolling down my cheeks.
- Writer
