Only Hope: Part Two
1089 Words
"To be only yours I pray..."
Brandon
Here I go.
One last hello. And one and only goodbye.
I've dedicated my everyday giving the person I love a single stemmed white rose while keeping my status as a good student until the very end. The rose symbolized my love and gratitude for him.
Finnegan Kree.
He's the love of my life, the reason why I kept fighting to live, the only person that made me hope to have another morning, another day to breath.
I had been diagnosed with a rare heart disease. And unless I get a donor, I will never be able to live past October. My doctor gave me an ultimatum. He said that by October 17, I should admit myself to hospital confinement while waiting for a donor. Otherwise, I won't last long.
I had been on a waitlist. It could take up to a year for me to get a donor so I knew it was hopeless. The hospital can keep me for that long since that's all the money I had deposited. And even if I had more money, what was the use of living further?
My parents had passed away before I started school and if not for meeting Finn again, I would have just given up my life right then and there. He's been my air, my sun, and water.
I knew that he would never like me. He's not gay. And after all I've done, he didn't seem moved by it. Not one bit. But I don't resent him. He's been rude with his rejection a few times but he never let others see it. So, I wasn't put under a humiliating scene. And no one has bullied me in his department for giving the basketball team captain a rose every day. Not even hassled by the girls he slept with.
On the last day of the semester, I sold my watch to buy Finn a big bouquet of red roses. It was the last so I wanted to make it worth his while. That watch, I had permanently set on the day I was leaving the university, a sort of a reminder for me. And at that time, I didn't need it anymore.
It was the last day I would be seeing the face of the person I love. I was sad but I shouldn't fail to give him one more smile before I go. So I did. And as I turned around, I held myself from crying until I was far from the university. While riding the bus to the hospital, I bawled my eyes out.
It was more painful than I thought.
Saying goodbye...
* * *
Third Person
A week after Brandon came to the hospital; his heart reached the critical stage. Although he looked alright the previous months, the eighteen year old had been carrying on with his everyday like he wasn't in pain. Like he wasn't clutching his chest whenever he felt suffocated and his chest tightened, his lips turning blue.
Inside one of the rooms at the special ward reserved for patients who are waiting for an organ donor, Bran stayed. And for the next few weeks, he remained unconscious, only living with the help of machines to keep him breathing.
Finnegan
I went to the hospital to the northern part of the country where Brandon was admitted. I was excited, nervous, but at the same time, scared.
What would I do?
What would I tell him?
What if...?
Lots of questions ran in my head on my way there.
I never thought I could like someone and not know it, long for him and get mad for not seeing his face, fell in love and be brokenhearted before I knew.
I wanna see him so bad...
* * *
"He's been in a coma since a week after he arrived. For now, we're waiting for a donor." The doctor explained to me what happened to Brandon. My dad helped me set up our background, Brandon being my lover, in order for me to have the right to visit him and pay for his bills.
I cried and cried silently when I finally got inside his room. My tears just fell on their own as I held Brandon's pale hand. All kinds of tubes are connected to his body and it pained me to see it.
The handsome freshman with clean haircut, beautiful eyes and lips that smiled to me is now replaced by a helpless patient waiting for some miracle of having a heart donor.
My Brandon...
...I love you. Please fight and keep waiting. I'll be here.
* * *
The second semester passed slowly. I was mostly in a daze because I only wanted to see the person that made me hope for another beautiful day. A day when he wakes up and smiles at me again.
Every weekend, my dad would lend me his private helicopter so I could visit Brandon. It was my quickest way of transportation. We couldn't transfer him to a closer hospital because he would lose his spot on the waiting list.
By the month of February, Bran was now on the second spot. His chance was getting higher.
"Hang in there, baby. You're doing great." I would tell after I read him my weekly journal. It's pretty boring so I spice it up for him, adding made up jokes my friends would say. I googled most of them. How I wish he would at least open his eyes for me. Only his old teddy bear was there next to him that looked sadder as they days passed.
William and Mikaela came visit a couple of times. I'm glad they don't pity me for waiting. And I'm glad they support my decision to be by Bran's side.
One Friday night I came to visit the hospital; I was stunned by the sight in front of me soon as I reached the floor where Bran's room was.
Bran's doctor was running towards the end of the hallway and into the private room. I sensed panic among the nurses. I don't know how long it took me to get to his room when it was only a few steps away.
Perhaps I was terrified to know what's happening. It must have been it. Because the moment I heard the exchanged of words between the doctor and the nurse, I felt my world crumble on me.
"Time." I heard the doctor say as I stepped inside.
"7:10 pm."
- Writer
