impression on Aurelius (Part 1) [Seraphina's POV]
1141 Words
"What? You want me to talk about what are my thoughts on Aurelius?"
"Well, to be honest. I don't think that much on him, for now, i just see him a nice guy, he is kind, i can easily talk to him"
"You know from what i have lived, and passed through, its not easy to give my love, because i'm persued that i'm the problem, and think that boys gonna leave me for what i am."
"I'm know i'm a consistent burden, but i keep a head straight...and act like it was nothing"
"But to go back to Aurelius, yea, he is charming, kind, but there is nothing between us, he is only a friend, at least that's what i thought. I know a lot of boys who came talking to me kindly, and eventually some of a few...like 2 of them got the chance to date, or i did got the chance to date them, i honestly don't know."
"So Aurelius wasn't that different from the previous people i dated, except, i don't know why, he is like me, that's hard to underatand and explain to be honest..."
"I was never interested in s****l activity, and fonding a familly, it does not excites me that much...or at all to be fully honest. So when we discussed casually about it and told me he was not interested neither, something inside...i don't know how to express it, it kinda made me at ease? At least it was nice to know that he wasn't interested in that too, and that he respected the fact i did not wanted to fond a familly, well it was really nice."
"As the day went, i noticed he was trying to, i don't know if we can call this Flirting? Honestly, he is bad at flirting, but the way he was shy, was kinda, cute? Yea, i think we can say that. He approached me in a way, that could be described as a feather, it was gentle, like almost if he knew i was something fragile, broken inside."
"At that time, i was at a difficult moment in my life, i...i just got out of a relationship, at least it should have been a few months already if i remember it correctly. And i wasn't actually ready or even wanted to think about this thing, but he persisted, and tried to pierce that shell i created for myself...and oh boi, he was persisting."
"His personality? well i can say, unsure of himself, but he knows how to reconfort someone, and he has that fire in his eyes each time he talks to me, at least when the topic is about me, and that, without an hesitation, i knew exactely that this little boy inside him, was desperately searching for a place to stay, but unfortunately for him, i wasn't in the possibility to let him enter inside, and was forced to watch him suffer at least for that time."
"And without me realising i entered into 2 conflicts. What are those? Will you ask me?
Well let me tell you"
"Those 2 conflicts, they were, my healing from what happened in my previous relationship, and the second, wanting to let him enter my heart and heal me, because yes, i fell in love with him, but my heart wasn't allowing him to choose him, because, i was somehow stuck to the past, and the fact i was still a mess outside and inside, so obviously i was fighting my emotions and feeling i had for this boy."
"Somewhere, i was hoping, and to be honest i know this boy was the key to my mere existance, he understands me, he listens to me without judging, we can be childish and the second after we could talk about something deep. And the way he looked at me, wow, his beautiful brown eyes, They never told a lie once. That's why i love him, his tenderness and kindness got the shell i did for me weakening, and the fight was getting harder, cause i knew inside that he was the one...So i choosed to give him a chance and see where it goes, and if something was started to be wrong, i could detach myself from him without any conscequences"
"But the thing i did not knew, is that he already possesed my heart, and at this point fighting was not an option anymore, so i gave up and let myself in his arms and...this was the most magical thing i have ever experienced and eventually, i said yes."
"For the first time, after a long time, i was able to feel pure love, that love that someone possess to someone else, i was free to open myself, he allowed me to share my true colour with him without even trying to force myself, and without fearing his judgement, and for the first time, i also cried in front of someone, at least it was not the first time, but the way i cried was a positive crying, he was and still is like a white knight protecting his queen, he allows me to be person i want, he encourages me, he is supportive, and respect all my choice, and respect my dreams and wishes, and more importantly he respects my Body..."
"His true self was also reavaled , but to my surprise i was shocked to see that actually nothing in him changed, he was open and friendly at the start, he said like i mentioned previously not interested in s****l activity and when we got together, he stayed true to what he said...and never tried to do something weird, and always make sure i'm safe, he cares about me like i wished my parents cared about me, he make the little girl inside me so happy, and i'm able to laugh, cry, scream, be sad, be angry, be depressed, and he continues to stay with me, just like he promised to me"
"I am so happy, right now, letting him the chance was i must say the most intelligent choice i made in my entire life, of course after the choice to leave my parents."
"My wish? Well, to be with him forever, go travel around the world with him...i wish to be free with him! Do what our love tells us to do, and to finally heal all the traumas i have and even after that, growing old, and dying from natural aspect, while being in his arm, and even after death, i wish to be with him for eternity. Those are my biggest wish"
I love you so Much Aurelius, thank you for making my life as happy as it is when you are around.
And thanks...to myself for allowing me that happiness and not have lived in the shadow of my past...
- Writer
