( title will change) snake & addie

chapter 3

snake.

I'd seen her when she first walked in, she looked absolute gorgeous and the smile on her face as she held on to the new guys arm made my anger flare a bit.

it wasn't until she'd walked outside and Neal had walked over with him that I had to finalize face him, I shook his hand and was polite as I could be, he talked about his work as a nurse and I half ass listened.

Addie had walked back in and that's when her eyes landed on me.

damn it I wanted nothing more to kiss those dark red or whatever color she would call that she had on those lips. I wanted to ruin it.

I watched her as her and pipers dad went to the kitchen and I tried my hardest not to let her boy toy know I was openly staring at her. I mean f**k he hadn't even noticed she walked back inside, he's her man he should have his eyes on her at all times in case she needs him. but no he just stayed here with gunner and I talking away about work and working out.

" so you can look at my car?"

I hear from beside me and it brings me back to the conversation at hand, gunner and scoot are both looking at me so I know I'm the one that needs to answer.

" oh yeah man just bring it into the shop and we will go over whatever"

he smiles big

" I'm gonna find a drink"

I announced and gunner raised a brow at me but I just nodded my head at him letting him know I wasn't getting alcohol, he got the message because he nodded back.

I grabbed a water and headed for the back yard.

I found her standing leaning against the porch railing looking out.

I took a moment to take her in, I wasn't sure what I was actually doing. I knew it was best if I stayed away but it didn't seem like that was gonna be as easy as I thought.

I lit a cigarette grabbing her attention and she turned to me. I have her a smile but her face remained the same.

" you look absolutely gorgeous"

I swear her face blushed a bit as she ran her hands over the front of her dress.

" definitely isn't my first choice. much rather my tess and shorts"

I couldn't help but smile bigger, she may have changed towards me but her personality definitely hasn't

" I wasn't talking about the clothes Addie"

her brows scrunched and she thought for a moment

" you clean up nice as well I don't think I've ever seen you in a button down"

I shrugged taking a drag.

" isn't really my first choice either but hey I'm a team player"

she let out a small giggle before she turned and leaned back on the railing, she wasn't yell so that was a good sign. I pushed my luck and went to lean against it next to her, talk on the smell of her perfume.

" it's so peaceful out here."

I nod looking over gunners backyard, it definitely was nice.

" that it is."

it was quite for a moment.

" the boyfriend seems nice"

she turned her head to look at me, and I mean really look at me she studied my face for a while.

" you aren't drinking?"

she asked pointing to the water bottle in my hand.

I shook my head

" sober about 3 months. things got a little out of hand"

she nodded her mouth opened and closed.

" are you okay Cody?"

I could see her worry on her face, and her voice was only a whisper as if she wasn't sure of she shouldn't be asking me.

I gave her my best smile, knocking my shoulder into hers

" I'm getting there baby girl nothing for you to worry that pretty little head about"

she had a small smile on her lips as she rolled her eyes.

" as long as you keep getting better"

I nodded breathing out

" I am. how are you? I mean other than the new boyfriend and wanted to kill me with your eyes"

she giggled shaking her head.

but at that moment gunner came out

" hey y'all were about to start making plates"

I gave him a nod. I didn't want to leave this conversation, it's the first real one we've had in a while.

she turned to me so I turned to her.

" guess we should go eat"

she said looking from me to the door, I couldnt tell if she was happy we got interrupted so I have her a smile and a nod putting my hand out telling her to lead the way.

she walked through the door first and as soon as she did her boyfriend put an arm around her shoulder

" I thought you ran away"

she let out a laugh shaking her head then be noticed me walking through the door as well and looked me up and down.

" didn't run away just enjoying the sun for a bit"

he nodded and they walked towards the dinner table, she looked over her shoulder once and I only nodded.

she was talk and I needed to respect that. this is what's best for her.

Addie.

my emtions are all over the place, when we sat down to eat I tried my best not to let my face show it. between papa James telling me my heart already belongs to someone and then for some reason I actually talked to Cody. I knew I shouldn't have, but for some reason I couldn't not talk with him. I'll admit it to myself and myself only that I have missed him.

I am worried about him, of he's stopped drinking how bad did things get? and once again why did he cut me out of his life? he keeps being nice and I just don't understand it, why cut me out if you want to try to be my friend now?

is that the problem he knows I feel something more, I mean felt something more and he only wanted to be my friend?

I shake my head as papa finishes his little toast and I have no idea what was even said. I just look up and see how lovingly mama sherry and him look at each other.

I move my eyes but they end up landing on Cody's, he's looking back at me and of course I'm the first to look away.

after we all had lunch and everyone chatted some more I was ready to go, we said our goodbyes and I promised the girls I'd be over for that sleep over soon.

when Scott pulled up to my apartment I looked over at him and gave him a smile.

" wanna come up for a bit?"

he smiled big

" of course"

I got out and he did the same as we made our way up.

I wasn't sure why I had invited him up, I mean it wasn't that late and I was the one who had told him I wanted to take this slow. I wasn't sure what to do once we got inside so I dropped my things and went to the kitchen offering him a drink.

as he stood across from me smiling as he leaned on the counter I let out a breath.

" so?"

he raised a brow coming towards me, I couldn't lie he was very attractive and maybe this is what I needed. maybe I needed to have s*x with him to make me feel that spark. that fire.

my arms went around his neck as his went around my waist bringing my body flush with his

" so?"

he whispered back and I crashed my lips into his, I don't want to talk I just want to feel something.

he slipped his tongue into my mouth and deepened the kiss, I tried to lose myself in it.

letting my body fall into his, he kissed down my neck

" where is your room?"

he whispered against my skin.

" first door on the right"

I expected him to lift me up or continue to kiss me but instead he took my hand and lead me through my apartment.

once we entered my room he faced me and then pulled his shirt off, a small smile playing on his lips.

he definitely took care of his body. I let my eyes take him in before he moved to me and started to pull the long dress up my body.

he let it fall to the floor, and I was now standing in front of him in just my bra and thong. I was getting wet, I knew what was about to happen and I just hoped this is what I needed.

his eyes took me in and he let out a groan

" you look even better without clothes"

I giggled I knew as soon as I took this bra off he'd probably be really shocked.

I reached behind to find the clasp since he seemed to not be making a move to take this any further.

but in that moment his pager started beeping.

I looked up at him and his shoulders sagged

" I am so sorry"

he whispered out. but I knew it wasn't his fault.

I kissed his cheek softly

" check it I'm sure they wouldn't page you unless it was important"

he sighed out deeply and reached in his pocket to check it.

" damn it"

he cursed. I had already moved away to find myself some clothes.

throwing the shirt over my head I turned and gave him a small smile

" I get it Scott really"

his head was hung

" I know you do but it couldn't have come at a worst time"

I giggled as I picked his shirt up handing it to him

" there will always be another time"

he took the shirt from me and kissed my cheek.

" I will definitely finish this soon"

smiling I nodded as he gathered his things to leave.

once I'd walked him to the door I sighed out as I threw myself on the couch shaking my head. what was I thinking? I mean yes I wanted s*x, I've always had a high s*x drive but I also said I needed to take this one slow, I can't just jump into bed with him to prove to myself I'm not in love with Cody!

" ugh!!!"

I screamed out loud. this is all Cody's fault he keeps f*****g with my emtions even if he doesn't know his is.

my phone chimes and I pick it up seeing it's a message from Cody. I should have deleted his number months ago after he ghosted me but I was stupid and didn't do it. I threw the phone back on the table and laid back biting my nails. I wanted to know what he had to say all of a sudden but I also didn't want to open that door.

I grabbed it swiping up and reading it.

cody- you never got to answer the question how have you been really? and will you hate me forever or will you ever be able to be my friend again?

that one word stung more than in should to someone on a relationship. Friend. I don't know if I could just be his friend, I mean I guess that's all we ever were but in reality I have to say least admit to my self I'd also wanted more from him. more than he was obviously willing to give.

me- oh look you do still have the same number and your phone does work.

Cody - still got that smart ass mouth.

me - ( eye roll) well friend I feel like you deserve it. as for me yes I'm good, I'm enjoy my job, I have a sweet boyfriend.

Cody - I'm happy to hear it add. really, I know I hurt you. I know you can't possibly understand the reasons why. but just understand you deserve better than me, it has absolutely nothing to do with you. I'm not good enough for you and I know I never will be. I hope that you can forgive me in the future. I'm sorry. truly.

I sit there reading his message over and over. I don't have a reply because my only reply wouldn't be appropriate. why can't he understand I'm not looking for perfect?? I just want him. I mean wanted him. I just wanted him, I just wanted what he made me feel and the thoughts of what could've been if he wouldn't have ghosted me.

I throw my phone down deciding it definitely isn't good for me to just keep reading the message. I'm happy he apologized but at the same time a place in my heart will always be his even if I will never admit that out loud.

I hope whatever happened up north he turns himself around and find his happy. I really do. now I just need to let go completely and let myself be happy. I'm in a relationship with a really good guy and I know that. I know that chasing after Cody again will only get me heart broken.

I pick my phone up after it chimes again and I pray to God it isn't him again and thankfully it wasn't it's piper asking me to have a sleepover tomorrow night. I smile and reply that I'll be there. I need some girl time and I also need some best friend time. I know the girls will be lots of fun like they always are and I'm sure some baby J cuddles will also help me feel better. and like always once we get the kids to bed.

snake.

I'd laid in this bed in my small apartmenf trying to go to sleep. after I'd texted her trying to somewhat get her to understand I didn't want her to hate me, and I never did the things I did to hurt her in purpose.

but once she didn't reply I knew I wanted to say so much more but I just couldn't. I needed to let her be happy with her new man, as much as watching her be with him hurt me. she'd always be the one that got away.

but the longer I laid there the more I thought about my life.

my old man, hell nothing I ever did was good enough for him. as hard as I'd tried when I was a kid I still never got that pat on the back, no he always told me there was always more I could do. if I brought home straight As, always work harder and bring a few of those up. if I was doing something for him, I never did it the right way and he'd stand beside me and watch me until I was done telling me so. I was drinking at an early age to help me deal with him, and mama always turend an eye. never once did she say anything to him about being so hard on me. hell he wasn't much better to her I guess.

once I graduated highschool I thought he'd be proud, but my acceptance into community college wasn't good enough for him.

yes, I went to college. though that didn't last long.

after I'd gotten there I found a group of people.

my drinking then turned to drugs and let me tell you those drugs made me feel like I was on top of the world. I could work my job I had, go to class and be up for days.

at first it was good, I was rolling high. that is until I kept needing more to keep the high I wanted and with needing much I was just about dropping everything to hang out with the people I knew could get it for me.

that is until I was failing out of college and ended up overdosing.

that night at the hospital when my parents came I was so embarrassed they'd seen me that way.

Id barely woken up when my old man came crashing into the room telling me how much of a disappointment I was and how I'd never be anything in life.

after a few days in the hospital he sent me to a rehab.

hardest thing in my life was coming off the drugs, for a week or two I didn't think I'd love through it. my whole body hurt.

my parents didn't visit until they got the call I was done and I was sober. so they came and got me.

after that I started working a construction job that my dad had lined up for me. of course the guy knew my old man so I had to work three times harder than anyone else just so he wouldn't run and tell him I was slacking on the job site.

it wasn't long after that I met Emily, Emily was the one I thought loved me. I thought she was gonna be the one I married one day.

but you see Emily's dad was the mayor of our little town and well me I was just a nobody. an ex drug addict, working construction. at least that's what her parents had said when I went to lunch to meet them, dressed in my Sunday best I thought this was gonna be a happy time. I thought she and I were moving forward in our relationship, you know meeting the parents and all.

no the whole lunch was basically how she needed to get her head on right and think of the future. I say there and listened to every single nasty thing they'd said about me and in the end she one told them she's see who she wanted to see and they couldn't stop her.

I thought she was standing up for us. I really had it in my mind she loved me for me.

a few months later she was pregnant and I was overjoyed, my parents thought I'd finally done something right and my old man told me to put a ring on her finger.

so I went out with what money I had and got a ring.

when I got down on one knee in front of her expensive house I knew the ring I had wouldn't compauto the ones she was used to seeing but it was all I had. I wanted her to know I loved her, and I'd take care of her and the baby.

she told me no, Infront of her parents and I got up standing there hurt and confused.

that was until she explained to me that she wasn't keeping the baby and things with us we're ending.

apparently it was never supposed to go so far and she'd just wanted to piss off mommy and daddy by being with me.

I begged and pleaded with her not to abort my baby. all the while her parents just smirked at me over her shoulder.

when I went home my old man told me how much of a f**k up I was I couldn't even get a woman to keep my baby.

I begged with her the next day in private to let me try to show her I loved her and could take care of her and the baby.

she looked me in the face and told me id never actually be good enough for her and she left, out of my life for good.

I'd tried contacting her, hoping she'd at least reconsider the innocent baby but I never got a reply. it was about two weeks later when she was out and about with some big shot guy on her arm I had cornered her to ask her what happened and she told me she'd had the abortion done, that everything was already taken care of.

that summer they had a huge wedding and it was the talk of the town. I couldn't go anywhere without seeing her face on things.

so I left, packed up my s**t and got the hell out of that town neck couldn't handle it animal and I knew much more and I'd be right back on drugs.

when I headed out all I had was a bags of clothes and an old motorcycle I'd gotten.

I didn't know where I was going or what the plan was but I was good with being on my own, on the open road.

that's how I ran into gunner, his uncle was still running things at the time but he put in a good word and got me some work with the club and place to lay my head. it was all I needed.

as time went on I earned my place within the club and got close with gunner and blade, it felt good having a group of people having my back they way they do. I could drink and sleep with whoever I wanted as long as I kept a steady head and got my work done no one cared, they were doing the same thing.

that is until I laid eyes on Addie and my world flipped upside down, as much as I wanted her. as much as I wanted to be the man she wanted me to be for her I couldn't. I knew how this ended and I just couldn't bring myself to go through the heart ache once again.

things were better this way, I just needed to keep my distance and let her be happy with someone I knew could make her happy.