( title will change) snake & addie

snake. I knew I'd see her, I just hadn't realized it'd be on my first day back. with another man on her arm. from the looks of it she did what I wanted her to do after I ghosted her once again, she found her self someone clean cut, stable. growing up my life wasn't horrible, my dad tried his best to show me there was another way outside of the biker gang. he wanted me to strive for more since all it ever brought him was heartache. my mom well she couldn't seem to understand the vows she took at her wedding, always out at the biker bars, always sleeping around on my dad. I didn't know anything was wrong until I hit middle school and I started noticing things. I'd finally gotten the nerve to ask my dad one day why he stayed and his only reply was he loved her even with her flaws. if you ask me she never real loved him. and so from an early age I didn't believe in love, I didn't believe one person could stay faithfulness to another. I watched my dad work his ass of day in and day out and he tried so hard to love her but she always left. I stayed in trouble, and it wasn't until I finally left home and ending up with gunner that I stopped getting into the trouble. but as soon as I went back home it was like a switch was flipped I found myself deeper on s**t. drinking my life away, picking fights in bar or clubs just because I knew I could. it wasn't until I watched my mom go right back to the ass hole that was clearly using her that I knew I needed out. I couldn't keep doing this to myself. I'd end up killing myself If I stayed. I'd gotten sober while fighting my mom in court. found an outlet in boxing and put my anger there. at first I thought I wouldn't get through the days with out the liquor, and it's still a struggle daily but I don't feel like I want to die anymore. after winning in court I was gonna stick around in hopes that my mom would change her ways, but even being sober I kept findings myself in trouble. the boxing wasn't enough I kept going out to find someone to fight with. when I called gunner I thought for sure he'd turn me away, hell he had his s**t together has a beautiful family. but no he told me to get my ass home. sweat pouring off my body as I hit the bag in the clubhouse gym, it's been a couple days since I got back and I was proud of all the changes and things that had happened while i was gone. he'd really done well for himself and everyone else. as I punched the bag over and over, trying to get the anger out. trying to get the picture of this dude kissing Addie that has been replying in my head since that night out of my head, I didn't know anyone else was here. I was up early, sleep doesn't come easy when your sober and can't get your brain to shut off. " damn man it's too early for all that" I hear from behind me, thankfully my music in my ear buds wasn't loud so I heard gunner. I wipe my face then hold the bag from swinging " yeah thought I'd get an early start" he nods as he looks me over, I know he and Piper are worried about me. " well how's the severity Job go last night?" I shrugged " wasn't nothing to it. thankfully a slow night" he nods against taking a seat on the bench so I grab a towel and wipe the rest of the sweat from my face as I take a seat with him. " glad to hear it, the shop doesn't open till 9 but I came here to see what was needed for the BBQ Saturday" " don't worry I'll be on time." I say some what playful and he laughs " I ain't worried about that just don't want you killing yourself on here before you go to work" I chuckle " trust me, this is much needed" I nods running his hand through his beard " well piper wanted me to ask, since you are living here if you will be comfortable with the BBQ happening here." I sigh Shaking my head this is exactly what I did t want being back, although I know Piper is just looking out for me. " I'll be fine. I've been sober for a minute now. isn't like I'll go on a binger just because y'all drink" he chuckles shaking his head as well " alright man. I'm looking forward to riding with you." we both stand, I've gotta shower and get changed to go work on the bike shop and I'm sure he has a lot to do. " me too man." with that we part ways and I head to my little apartment area next to the clubhouse to get cleaned up. I know I'll see Addie again this weekend, and I also know the boyfriend is probably to come I heard the girls talking about it after dinner. I've just gotta keep my head straight, and remember I did what was best for her. Addie. I just got to the clubhouse for the ride today, I was supposed to ride with cookie. he's an older guy that Neal's uncle knew and brought in. we automatic became best friends, and truth be told if he were into women I'd be all over that. not Bec of his looks or anything but because he's so fun to be around. but instead of riding I'm now going to fix a few of the finger food up and set them on the fridge then go have myself some lunch and wait for everyone to get back, cookie called right after I got here to let me know he'd gotten the stomach flu. as I'm cutting this cheese and placing it on the tray my mind wanders, something ovw absolutely hated the past few days. I had no idea he was coming back, hell I had no idea he'd changed so much. he's always taken care of his body, but he filled out a lot since he has been gone. his once clean face covered in a light beard that I have thought way to many times about running my fingers through. but his eyes, his eyes have always showed me he held a lot of emotions in even thou he was always the one joking around and trying to be funny, but now even more than before they look lost, sad. I was shocked when I first saw him, but now I'm just pissed the hell off. of course when I finally start seeing someone that could possibly stick around and actually have something's real he pops right back up. Scott is a really nice guy, and so far he has been nothing but good to me. I don't need to let him come in and ruin this for me. not that he has even said much to me. Piper says he's been dealing with a few things but hasn't said more than that because I refuse to listen, dropping me not once but twice is enough for me to get the picture he isn't serious about me. he doesn't actually care no matter how much I do. or did. yeah I did care but I don't anymore, I refuse to fall back into that back and forth s**t with him. scott thankfully didn't push me with questions after he showed up out of no where at dinner. and he is still acting the same about hanging out at the clubhouse tonight so I'm just going to focus on that. " need any help?" I hear his voice from behind me and my body goes stiff. " no I'm fine" I say not furniture to look at him, but like it used to be I can still feel his eyes burning into every inch of my body. I standings here in my checkered Vans, ripped shorts and a black tank since I thought I was going for a ride. I hear him clear his throat " okay. uh well the guys mentioned you had planned on riding with cookie but he is sick, so if you wanna go you can ride with me." I let out a loud sarcastic laugh. I turn to look at him, ugh! damn him for looking so good. I try my best to keep my straight face. " yeah I'd rather stand in front of a moving truck snake" I bite back and I see his eyes widen, I used to call him by his name. I was just about the only person who did. but not anymore, no he's just snake to me just like he is to everyone else. " I deserve that. but thought I'd offer" I roll my eyes and turn back to the food I was preparing. I don't need to look at him to long or I'll cave, I'll ask the thousands of questions I want to ask. " I'll see you around Addie" he says and I don't respond nor do I give him a second glance. I know he's left the kitchen area because I heard his boots on the hard floor. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. it will be easier tonight, more people. and Scott with a. few drinks I'll forget snake is even around. snake. I'd walked out of my apartment area and walked around back so I could grab a smoke in peace before we all head out, I needed to clear my mind. I knew I'd be seeing her tonight and I knew I couldn't cross that line again. but as soon as I turned the corner gunner had Piper on his bike, her legs thrown over his as they say on it making out like teens. I'd apologized once they pulled away, she blushed like she always does and he just laughed it off. those two were meant for each other, even with three kids they still can't seem to keep their hands off each other. I bite back my jealousy and head to make sure my bike is ready to go and that's when blade mentioned that Addie was supposed to go on her first ride and be riding with someone named cookie. I guess by the pool on my face blade knew I had a lot of questions about who the hell that even was so he explains and I relaxed a bit. even though I had no reason to be jealous of her being on another's man's bike, hell she has a whole ass boyfriends to do that. it isn't my place. when I found her on the kitchen I almost lost my s**t. hell she was beautiful when I left but she's changed a bit, her hair is a little longer and I swear she ended up with more curves than before. I couldn't help myself when I let my eyes take in her body. her rejection to my offer wasn't a surprise to me, and neither was her anger. I deserved it all and it was probably for the best, I didn't need her on my bike behind me. her body pressed to mine. I didn't need her smell on my clothes or the sound of her laughter in my head. no I didn't need any of that because I needed to stay away. I needed to focus on being sober and letting her find her happy.