Personal Violation

Chapter Three-1

Chapter ThreeOn Monday morning, Sarah walked into Scott Winslow's office. Donna greeted her in the lobby. “Ms. Willis?”

“Yes,” Sarah said, shaking Donna's extended hand.

“I'm Scott's paralegal, Donna. We talked on the phone.” Donna is one of those people that everyone is glad to meet. She has a warm smile, and a disarming manner that puts people at ease.

“Yes, I remember you,” Sarah said. “When we talked on the phone, you made me feel less nervous about coming here.”

Donna saw the concern in her eyes and said. “You can be sure that Scott and I will keep your confidences. We want to help you if we can.”

Sarah nodded, but “I'm not sure if anyone can,” were the words that came out.

“Let us try,” Donna said. “Do you want some coffee?”

“No, I'm okay,” she replied.

“Let's go back to the conference room,” Donna said. “Scott will join us there.”

They sat down in adjacent chairs around a marble conference room table that seated eight. The room was decorated with warm landscapes. Donna said, “Whatever you elect to do, as a woman I want you to know that I am so sorry. No woman should ever have to face what you did. Not ever.”

Scott Winslow appeared at the door. He was over six feet and slender. He had brown hair and blue eyes. He smiled in Sarah's direction and extended a hand. “Good morning, Sarah. I'm so glad you had a chance to talk to Donna. You've probably already figured out why she is my right hand.”

“I think I have,” Sarah said. “Thanks for fitting me in on short notice. Quite frankly, I was not inclined to come at all, but my best friend and my husband made me promise that I would.”

Scott closed the conference room door and sat down directly across the table from Sarah, armed with a yellow legal pad and a pen. Donna was on his left, at the end of the table. “So, Sarah, this is kind of a hard conversation. I have to ask you things that you would rather not discuss, so that I can properly evaluate the situation and assess the terrain for you. Part of my job is to give you my thoughts about a potential case, including any bad news.” He smiled at her and added, “Two things I can tell you. First, we are on your team, no one else's. Secondly, regardless of whether we go forward on your behalf, everything you tell us is confidential and will not be shared beyond those who work with this office on your behalf. Okay?”

“I appreciate that,” Sarah replied.

“Can you take me through it?” Scott asked. “Tell me about the circumstances that got you to Seattle and then tell me everything that happened while you were there through the time of the attack.”

Sarah took them through all of it. The request that she attend a meeting with Nolan in Seattle and his last minute failure to attend, leaving her to go alone to a meeting not within her usual purview. She told them of his request that she meet him in the lounge, and his consumption of three drinks, while she sipped on a glass of wine. She told them of the discussion that occurred and how he asked her to make a stop in his room to pick up documents. Then she told them about being pushed against the wall and kissed and running from his room. Scott observed that discomfort was visible in both her eyes and her body language as she spoke. She told them about Nolan showing up outside her room, saying he wanted to apologize, and she told them that, after he asked a few times, she had foolishly let him into her room to apologize. Then she cried as she discussed what he did to her, and how she tried so helplessly to fight. Scott and Donna nodded understandingly, and both took copious notes. Scott periodically asked questions and reassured her that she should continue. When she completed her story, Scott said, “Do you want some water before we continue?”

She nodded, and he left the room for a minute. He returned with water for all three of them. He sat back down and said, “I have to ask you some tough questions, Sarah.”

“You mean it hasn't been tough so far?” she replied.

Scott smiled at her, and said, “I'm glad you still have your sense of humor. That says something about your strength of character.” He paused and then said, “I have to ask things that are uncomfortable because I need to know the answers to assess the matter legally, and because others will pose these questions if the matter goes further. Are you okay with that?”

“I am,” Sarah said, looking to Scott and then to Donna. “I feel safe here.”

“That's good, Sarah, and you should. We asked you to come to this meeting alone today because your husband's presence might make it hard for you to answer sensitive questions. After today, your husband can come along with you to any meeting you want him to attend.” He paused and then asked, “Had you ever had any personal relationship with Nolan? Anything s****l?”

“No, absolutely not.”

“Even a flirtation?”

“He flirted, telling me how 'hot' I was, but there was no flirting by me.”

Sarah's eyes showed fear and worry. Donna touched Sarah on the arm, and when Sarah looked at her, said reassuringly, “You're doing great.”

Scott smiled at Sarah and said, “Tell me if you need a break. I know this is hard.”

“I'm okay,” Sarah said, beginning to feel like she was among people she could trust.

“Take me through what happened from the time Nolan left your room after the r**e through today. Everything you have done and all conversations that have happened.”

She told them everything. She spoke of sitting on the bathroom floor until she left the hotel. She spoke of her withdrawal and isolation until her friend Angie came to her rescue. Donna took Angie's contact information.

“Did you report this to the police?” Scott asked.

“No,” she replied, sounding apologetic.

“When did you first tell your husband?”

“After my friend, Angie, came over and we talked on Friday.”

“She was the first one you confided in?”

“So, why not him?”

Sarah shook her head. “It was so hard to tell him that I was attacked by someone. I knew what kind of pain he would feel, and how angry he would be at Nolan.”

“Did you have any hesitation that he might not believe you? That he would think there was something between the two of you?”

“No, although at some level maybe I feared he might think I didn't do enough to prevent it. I feel like such an i***t for opening that door.”

“And why didn't you go to the police with this?”

Sarah sat back in her chair and drew a deep breath. “At first, I thought I should just live with this; that I was strong enough to get past it alone and never speak of it to anyone. Then, I slowly realized that I was not okay anymore—that I was really damaged. For a time, I wasn't even sure that I wanted to live. Even once Angie broke through and helped me see that I needed to stand up, the idea of going to the police sounded horrible; to live the violation all over again as you get questioned about every detail, and to have cops and everyone who sees it in the media wonder if I'm lying, rather than the victim of a crime. I've seen it happen to women who come forward and it all seems to compound the abominable crime already endured.”

“It does, Sarah. There is no doubt about that. But it's the only system we have,” Scott said. “Is there any physical evidence of what occurred? Clothing, injuries, anything at all?”

She showed him the remnant of a bruise on her neck and one on her arm.”

“Have you photographed the bruises?”

“I did, but not until last night.”

“Any other evidence?”

“I still have my torn underwear.”

“Good, bag them up and keep them safe.” Scott paused and then asked, “Sarah, what do you think that Jim Nolan is going to say when confronted with allegations of r**e?”

She shook her head. “He will deny anything ever happened or he will say it was voluntary is my guess. Rapists don't admit that they r***d someone, do they? Seems like they never own what they've done.”

Scott nodded. “That's right. Even in s****l harassment cases that don't involve acts as horrific as r**e, they never admit what they've done. They always say it never happened, or it was consensual, or some combination of those things. In over twenty years of practice, I have never seen anyone stand up and say, “Yep. I did it.” So, you can be assured all of this will be a fight and they will make us prove it happened while he goes on pretending he's a nice guy who would never do anything like this.” Sarah nodded. “You should know that delayed reporting of the crime will be a point of attack for the defense.”

“They are going to say it didn't happen because I didn't report it?”

“Yes. They will twist it. They will say that if you claim it was so awful, why did you stay silent? Is that because you were r***d or because you slept with your boss, and then had second thoughts? Maybe, this was a way to keep your husband from finding out about an affair.”

“This is going to be awful,” Sarah said softly, a tormented expression on her face.

“They will urge that if this had really happened, wouldn't she have gone to the hospital, to the police or at least promptly told her husband?”

“It's a hopeless trap,” she said, shaking her head.

“You can deal with it, you just have to know that it is something you will have to face. If you elect to pursue legal action against Nolan and the Company, that's what you are getting into. I don't want you to be surprised and I want to be able to give you time to consider it all.”

“So tell me in your words, what caused you to delay reporting this crime?”

She took a moment and then replied, “I have been a successful, independent woman all of my adult life. I have always found a way to handle everything that comes along, and that ability to handle anything has become part of my self-image. Then something happened that I never imagined, and it's tied to the place where I have built my career. So, it feels like everything is on the line.” She shook her head and then said, “I thought that I could handle everything that happened in life, and it turns out that I can't. I'm also afraid that if I report this crime, it's his word against mine. I will have to relive all the details of the most horrific hours of my life, and then maybe no one believes me. It feels like a no-win situation.”

Scott nodded. “Do you feel like you have blame for what happened to you?”

Sarah teared up and said, “I guess I do.”

“Why?”

“I should have been smarter. I never should have opened the door to my hotel room.”

“Why did you open the door?”

She shook her head. “I actually believed he was there to apologize for forcing the kiss. I was so dammed stupid.”

Scott said, “I want you to know that I believe you.” He took a deep breath and asked, “When, if at all, do you plan to go back to work?”

“Maybe, tomorrow.”

“Before you do, file a police report. Then go to your Human Resources Department and report what happened. Don't discuss it around the office, but be consistent whenever you describe what happened. This was not your fault, this was all about a r****t. That's what you tell them.”

“I've worked with human resources executives a number of times. They know me pretty well, so I hope they can be fair.”

Scott gave her a concerned look, and then said, “What you need to know is that dealing with human resources is the ultimate two-edged sword. It's where employees have to go to report harassment, discrimination and a wide variety of problems, right? Most employee handbooks tell you that's where you have to take any concern. They take it even further and point out that employees can be subject to discipline for a failure to report harassment, discrimination or other unlawful conduct.”

“Right,” Sarah said.

“The problem is,” Scott said, “they are also the department charged with protecting the company from liability and their personnel are judged based upon how well they do that. The law says they have to investigate harassment, discrimination and other types of claims. Their people get trained on conducting investigations. But the findings and quality of that investigation often determine whether the company will be held accountable. As a result, human resource representatives are trained to think in terms of how to protect the company. They protect themselves and their future by protecting the company, and sometimes they protect the company by preparing an investigation report that the company wants to see. If an investigation is successfully used to shield the company from liability, the human resources employee is going to get accolades, and maybe his next raise. If that investigation doesn't protect the company from a verdict, the investigator, and maybe the other human resource reps involved, may not be so popular.” She looked concerned, but stayed silent. Scott gave her a smile and said, “So, the reason I tell you all this is that you may be surprised about the extent to which human resources will go to protect the company's interests at your expense. They may choose to believe Nolan or they give too much weight to the fact that this was not reported for a few days. Or they may recite the facts differently than the way they actually happened because it favors the result they want to achieve.”