Xterminator

Chapter 64

Nanami Yoshino (Katana Light)

Hindi ko na maalala kung gaano katagal na panahon ba ang inilaan namin ni Khio, kasama ang mga kaibigan at anak namin, para lang makamit ang kalayaan na inaasam namin.

We all work so hard to build the home that we create only for us. We work so hard to build a new life for all of us.

For us to still find our happiness despite what ZeRL did to us.

We did all kinds of work to save a large amount of money for us to buy some place where people from ZeRL will not be able to bother us anymore.

Nandiyang naging agent kami ng iba't-ibang organisasyon. Naging assassin, nagtayo ng sari-sarili naming negosyo hanggang sa tuluyan na naming nahanap ang nag-iisang lugar na talagang itinayo para sa mga tulad namin.

We successfully achieved our freedom when we finally acquired the island where my kids and friends are currently living. We finally have our own home.

That is when we stop doing work for people. At iyong mga negosyo na lang namin ang inaasikaso namin dahil kaya na naman kami nitong buhayin hangga't tumatakbo ang mga iyon.

Kaya din nitong mag-provide sa iba pang kasama namin, maging sa mga bata kahit hindi na kami umalis ng isla.

And we have a happy life there.

Kaya hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko pa din maintindihan kung ano ang nagtulak kay Khio para piliin ang kamatayan niya ng hindi man lang tinatanong ang opinyon ko.

“It leaves me devastated,” sabi ko kay Ashen. “After all those years of working hard, hoping that we could be all together forever since we have a long lifetime, it banished with his decision that I never even know in the first place why suddenly crossed his mind.”

“Anong kinalaman niyan sa nararamdaman natin sa isa’t-isa?”

Malungkot akong tumingin sa kanya. “I never had a chance to move on.”

Agad siyang natigilan ngunit hindi niya inalis ang tingin sa akin.

“I never move on,” dagdag ko. “Yes, I am looking for some light to become my reason to continue living because I still have responsibility to my family and friends. Pero hindi ko kailanman ide-deny na hanggang ngayon ay nasasaktan pa din ako sa pagkawala ni Khio.”

“And…” Lumunok siya ng sariling laway. “Knowing that his DNA is still alive…”

Tumango ako. “When I first heard that his DNA got detected by my friend, ang unang pumasok sa isip ko ay buhay pa siya,” sabi ko sa kanya. “Well, hindi mo naman siguro ako masisisi kung ganoon ang iisipin ko kahit pa ako mismo ang nakasaksi ng pagkamatay niya.” Huminga ako ng malalim. “But then, I realize that it is impossible for that to happen. And maybe that it was just part of him that was still alive.”

And I am right.

Ashen and Xhylem are clones that were created using Khio’s DNA. They are part of my beloved husband.

“I don’t have anything against a clone,” paglilinaw ko sa kanya dahil nakikita kong nag-iiba na ang timpla ng kanyang mukha. “For me, they are still human beings who don't have their natural identity. And I have met a lot of clones who became my friends so don’t think that I don’t want to work with you because you are a clone.”

Bahagyang nabawasan ang lungkot sa mga mata niya. “Then what is stopping you?”

“Like what I said earlier, it is about Khio’s DNA inside you and the fact that I still haven’t moved on from him.” Hinawakan ko ang mga balikat niya. “I like you. I really like you.”

“Then…”

“Pero ngayong alam ko na parte ng pagkatao mo si Khio, sa tingin mo ba ay hindi ko iisipin na ikaw siya even though you have your own personality?” pagpuputol ko sa kanya bago pa siya makapagtanong. “I want to see you as you. As Ash Eiren Aozaki… Not Khionen.”

Ayaw kong maging unfair sa kanya dahil alam kong totoo kung ano ang nararamdaman niya para sa akin.

It has nothing to do with Khio’s DNA inside his body. It has nothing to do with the fact that he actually owes his life to me.

He sincerely loves me because of the time that we both spent together. And I do like him because of those times.

At gusto kong ipagpatuloy ang pagkagusto kong ito sa kanya ng hindi nababahiran ng pagmamahal ko para kay Khio. Gusto ko siyang tanggapin sa buhay ko bilang siya. Hindi dahil gusto kong ibalik si Khio.

That is the kind of love that he deserves.

“What are you going to do now?” Malungkot niyang sabi tsaka hinawakan ang mga kamay kong nasa balikat niya at inilipat iyon sa pisngi niya. “I understand your reason. I perfectly understand and it actually made me happy but…”

“Does it also make you sad?”

Tumango siya. “I didn’t know that loving someone is hard,” aniya tsaka pinikit ang mga mata niya habang pinakikiramdaman ang init ng kamay ko sa mga pisngi niya. “Akala ko ay basta handa lang akong manatili sa tabi ng babaeng mahal ko ay magiging sapat na iyon. Believe me, that is what I really want. I just want to stay by your side and make sure that you will always be safe.”

“But everything changes when you hear that I also like you?”

Tumango siya at dumilat. “I…” Huminga siya ng malalim. “I suddenly have this urge to become selfish and completely own you. I suddenly wanted to make you mine no matter what happened.”

Alam kong sa bawat paglipas ng araw na kasama ko ang lalaking ito ay hindi ko maiiwasan na mahulog sa kanya.

He is far different from everyone. Even from Khionen.

That is why I wanted to make sure that I will love him as much as he loves me without thinking that he is Khionen.

“I wanted to love you as you, Ash,” mahina kong sambit tsaka hinalikan siya sa noo. “I wanted to love you so please give me the time I need to do that. You don’t deserve to become just a shadow of someone.”

He deserves the greatest love of all and I intended to give him that. But in order to do that, I need time.

Time to finally move on from my past.