A Shade of Midnight

EIGHTEEN

The nearby inn Raven was talking about was indeed on the other side of the mountain. Nagawa naming magsanay sa loob ng gubat. I had fun with the bow and arrow as he taught me how to properly handle it. At dahil malayo na kami sa camp, napagpasyahan naming manatili sa isang inn na naroon.

Nakatayo lang kaming dalawa sa harapan nito na para bang nagdadalawang isip kung papasok ba kami o hindi. Narinig ko naman siyang napabuntong-hininga.

"Well, this is better than staying out here in the cold," sabi niya at saka tumingin sa akin. Tama nga naman. Mas mabuti nalang iyong inn kaysa naman mamatay kami sa lamig sa labas. Raven wore his long coat and also wore his hood. I was about to question him why he would hide his face ngunit napagtanto kong gusto niyang manatili bilang normal na tao ngayong gabi.

Pumasok na kami at isang babae ang nagpakilalang may-ari ng inn. I requested for two beds in a room and the owner gave us the key to the room at the highest part of the inn. The only way up there is a narrow staircase. Nagkatinginan naman kami ni Raven ngunit wala na rin kaming choice kundi ang kunin ang kwarto.

Pareho kaming basa dahil sa ulan at nanginginig ba pati laman ko dahil sa lamig. I am dying for a bowl of anything hot basta mainitan lang ang buong katawan ko.

The moment I opened the door to our room, hindi ako makapaniwala sa nakita. The room was cramped. Na para bang hindi iyon kwarto noon at inayos lang para gawing extra na kwarto. The ceiling was sloping down that I bet Raven would have to crouch down to get to the bed. The only window on the wall was tiny at sarado iyon na labis ko namang ipinagpapasalamat. The last thing I want is the cold gush of wind entering our shelter for the night. 

There wasn't even a fireplace that could keep the room warm but it was all right. Ngunit ang ikinababahala ko ay ang kama.

Napatingin ako kay Raven at agad namam niyang itinaas ang kamay niya. "I asked for two beds."

Napatingin naman ako sa kabuuan. Masyado ring maliit ang kwarto para sa sahig siya matulog.

"I guess we dont have a choice then. We will have to warm each other," I said at agad ko namang pinagsisihan ang sinabi kong iyon.

"I mean body heat," I clarified but to wipe the look on his face, I added, "We'll sleep next to each other keep  each other warm."

The more I explained it, the more it got worse so I just rolled my eyes and groaned as I walked to the bed.

Narinig ko siyang tumawa nang mahina. "I'll...try to keep my hands to myself," he said and my mouth went dry. Ibinaling ko nalang ang atensyon ko sa nalalantang bulaklak na naroon sa ibabaw ng mesa.

"I'm hungry," I said. Agad namang nagbago ang ekspresyon niya.

"Kukuha lang ako ng pagkain sa ibaba," sabi niya at bago pa man ako makapagsalita sa kung anong gusto kong sabihin ay agad siyang nakalabas ng kwarto. Napagpasyahan ko namang tumayo at magbihis nalang dahil basang-basa na ang damit ko. 

Saktong pagbalik niya ay saka naman ako natapos sa pagbibihis. 

"Is that stew I smell?" I asked him. Inilapag niya ang dalawang bowl ng pagkain sa mesang katabi ng kama and I groaned soflty at the heat coming from the food. 

"Beef stew, if the cook's to be believed." 

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. Ngumiti naman siya sa gawi ko at saka itinuro ang isang plato. "There are some meatpies too. Although hindi ko alam kung anong klaseng karne iyan." 

"Raven," I groaned and he tipped his head back and laughed. "I could have lived without hearing that." 

Smile still tugging on his lips, he said, "Go ahead and eat. I am going to change." 

Napatingin naman ako habang tinatanggal niya ang suot na coat. Bigla naman siyang tumingin sa akin at huli na para bawiin ko ang tingin na iyon kaya tinitigan ko siya. He tilted his head to the side. 

"I love it when you look at me like that," he said. 

I scoffed. "You've said that before." 

"And I am going to say it again." 

"How exactly am I looking at you, Raven?" 

A smile. "Like I am not some monster that should be feared. That I am not the bad guy in everyone's story. Like you see me for being me and not just for being a High Lord." 

For someone who is labeled as the strongest High Lord in Sandovia, I did not expect to be this close to him either. The very first time I met him face to face, I was so certain he could kill me with minimal movements. Ngunit ang lalaking kaharap ko ngayon ay ang lalaking tumulong sa akin. Ang nagligtas sa akin. Mula nang una naming pagkikita hanggang ngayon, he had always been there. I don't think I would ever get tired to say it. 

"You have a reputation. I didn't know better and I believed what everyone told me about you. But now I know the truth. I am not afraid of you, Raven. I see you." 

I gave him a small smile before I turned my back and feasted on the food in front of me. He was soaking and had to be freezing to the core kaya kailangan na niyang magbihis. 

"Nagbihis ka sana bago ka bumaba," saad ko habang inaamoy ang pagkain. I picked up the spoon and swirled the stew, sighing at the tendrils of warmth rising from it. 

I heard him starting to get changed behind me and I tried not to think of that bare tan chest, the tattoos, the hard muscles. 

"We had a...busy day today. You trained and getting you a meal was the least I could do." 

Tinikman ko ang pagkain. It was bland. Ngunit nakakaya namang kainin. Sa totoo lang, wala na akong pakialam sa kung ano man ang lasa niyon. What's more important is that it was hot and it managed to shoo away the cold of my body. 

Tahimik akong kumain habang nakikinig sa kanya na nagbibihis sa likuran ko. Kinuha ko ang bote ng wine at nilagyan ang baso ko. Nilagyan ko na rin ang kanya. Hanggang sa naramdaman ko si Raven na naglalakad papunta sa kama kung saan ako nakaupo at kumakain. He wore loose and thin pants and a sweater of the softest kind of cotton. 

I gently pushed the bowl of stew in his side of the table. "You did great today," he said. Napatingin ako sa kanya. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang tinutukoy niya: ang pagsasanay namin o ang naging sagutan namin ni Tyrell kanina. 

He seemed to have read my thoughts as he leaned back and said, "You did everything well today." 

I smiled and stared at the bowl of stew. "It was hard," I said. I wasn't referring to the training and I know he understood what I meant. 

"He was my friend and to point an arrow at him was hard." 

"You did what you needed to do. Alam mo na ang halaga mo, Delta. You are worth more than any treasures in this content. Maxim knew that. He wasted that. And now he wants you back." 

Natahimik naman. Not because I had nothing to say but because Raven was right. Maxim had become so overprotective na para na akong sinasakal. I didn't like it. And when I told him I didn't like it, he got mad. He was afraid to lose me but I wasn't the same girl who needed protection anymore. That girl is dead. 

I had sent a note to Maxim. A note that states I am not going back to his court. Raven sent those soldiers injured too. And yet Maxim chose to ignore it. Just as he'd ignored nearly all of my requests. He acted in a sense that he was the one who was always right and that Tyrell had been prepared to follow him and take me against my will. 

"I wish he wouldn't come looking for me again," I said and stared at Raven's eyes. "Because I am never going back." 

"I knew things were bad back in the South," Raven said with quiet rage, "but I thought Tyrell, at least, would have helped you somehow." 

I let out a bitter laugh. "Iyan din ang akala ko." 

He set aside his stew just as I finished gobbling down mine. I slid back on the bed to the pillows, cupping my glass of wine. I watched him eat as I took a sip. "Did you think I would go with him?" 

Napatigil siya sa pagkain at ibinaba ang hawak na tinidor. "Narinig ko ang naging pag-uusap niyo. I knew you could take care of yourself, and yet..." He took one sip on his stew before continuing, "And yet I found myself deciding that if you took his hand, I would find a way to live with it. Because it would be your choice and I can't do anything about it." 

I sipped on my wine again. "And if he had grabbed me and took me against my  will?" 

I met his stare and there was nothing but uncompromising will as he said, "Then I would have to tear the world apart to get you back." 

I shivered and I couldn't look away from him. "I would have shot him if he tried to hurt you." 

The words came out too fast before I could even contemplate on it but then I saw his eyes flickered as he said, "I know." 

Natapos siyang kumain at inilagay ang tray sa gilid at saka ako hinarap sa kama. He refilled my glass with wine before he tended to his. And since he was tall, kailangan pa niyang yumuko para ilagay ang bote sa mesa. 

"One thought in exchange for another," I said. Tumaas naman ang kilay niya. 

"Please don't ask me to do something impressive this time." I groaned and he chuckled. He drained his glass before he set it on the tray. He watched me take a long drink from mine. 

"I'm thinking," he said, following my tongue as I licked my bottom lip, "that I look at you and I feel like dying. Like I can't breathe. I'm thinking that I can't concentrate half the time when I am around you and this room is too small for me to properly bed you." 

My heart stumbled a beat. Suddenly, hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko sa mga paa ko, o sa mga kamay ko, o sa mukha ko. But one thing I know is that my face was getting hot. 

But I gulped down my wine and placed the glass beside the bed, straightening my spine as I said, "I'm thinking that I can't stop thinking about you. And I have been thinking about you for a long time. Simula nang makilala kita, you never left my thoughts. That means I have been thinking about you even before I was with Maxim and even before I left the South Court. And maybe...maybe that makes me a traitorous lying piece of trash, but---" 

"It doesn't," he said, his face solemn. 

But it did make me feel like a traitor. I was supposed to be bride of Maxim. Ngunit nang makilala ko si Raven, he was always on my mind. And I just realized it now but it was not because I feared him. I had wanted to see Raven during those weeks when I was supposed to be in the North Court. I hadn't cared when that moment came when Maxim stopped visiting my bedroom. I hadn't cared when Maxim had given up on me because I had given up on him too. And it makes me feel like a trash. 

I closed my eyes briefly before I looked at him. "We should go to sleep."

There was silence between us and there was only the sound of the rain outside. And then he said, "All right." 

Humiga ako sa kama at tumagilid. The bed was small and with Raven's size, hindi kami magkakasyang dalawa. Naramdaman ko ang kumot na inilatag niya sa akin. The lights inside the room went out and darkness hit me. Maya-maya pa, naramdaman ko siyang humiga sa tabi ko. He felt warm and I stopped myself from moving towards his warmth. We are too close. Too close. Walang nagtangkang gumalaw sa aming dalawa . I stared into the dark, listening to the icy rain, trying to feel his warmth behind me. 

"You're shivering so hard the bed is shaking," he said. 

I gave him a glance over my shoulder kahit hindi ko siya makita dahil sa dilim. "My hair is wet," I answered. 

Raven was silent for a moment then the mattress groaned. The next thing I felt was warmth pouring over me. 

"No expectations," he said. "Just body heat." I scowled at the laughter in his voice. 

But his broad hands slid under and over me: one flattening on my stomach and tugging me closer to his warmth, and the other was sliding under my ribs and arms to band around my chest, pressing his front into me. He tangled his legs with mine and then I could feel his warm breath on the exposed part of my neck. 

My hand went to his arm and I felt him shiver behind me. 

"Your finger...is very cold," he said. 

I tried not to smile. I tilted my neck a bit more, hoping that his warm breath would caress it again. I dragged my finger along his strong arms. I felt Raven tense, his arms tightening around me. 

"You cruel, wicked thing," he purred, his nose grazing the exposed bit of my neck. I arched beneath him. "Didn't anyone ever teach you manners?" 

"I never knew Valyrians were such sensitive babies," I said, sliding down another finger on his arms. 

And then something hard pushed against my behind. Heat flooded me and I went loose. I stroked his arm again but this time, I moved to his leg tangled against mine. Mas naramdaman ko siya sa aking likuran. 

The fingers he'd spread over my stomach began to make idle, lazy strokes. His finger swirled around my navel and I inched even closer, grinding up against him, arching a bit more. 

"Greedy," he murmured, his lips hovering over my neck. 

"First you terrorize me with your cold hands and now...what is it that you want, Delta?" 

More. I want more. 

I almost begged him as his fingers traveled down the slope of my breasts, while his other hand continued stroking along my stomach, my abdomen. And then slowly, so slowly, heading downwards to the low band of my pants and the building ache in my core, waiting for him. 

Raven's teeth scraped against my neck in a lazy caress. "What is it that you want, Delta?" He nipped at my earlobe. 

I cried out a moan, arching fully against him as if I could get that hand to slip exactly where I wanted it. I knew what he wanted me to say and I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of it. Not yet. 

So I said, "I want a distraction. I want--fun." 

I sensed his body tensing against mine. Hindi ko alam kung alam niyang kasinungalingan iyon o hindi. Hindi ko alam kung alam niya na hindi iyon ang gusto ko. Not exactly. Ngunit naramdaman ko ulit ang mga kamay niya. 

They started roaming in my body as he said, "Then allow me the pleasure of distracting you." 

* * *