A Shade of Midnight

War. It was something I never expected to happen. But then again, I should have seen it coming. Liber has been preparing for war. What happened with Meredith capturing the High Lords and the members of their courts was just the beginning. At ngayon, nagsisimula na naman silang gumalaw. I have been staying in North Court, and eventually became a member of it. Crazy, I know. But what happened to me, what happened to Maxim, it made us both so broken that our broken pieces don't match anymore. It just doesn't fit. He changed. We all did. But Maxim doesn't realize I don't need a High Lord. I only needed him. Not the High Lord Maxim. I only needed him to trust me. To not treat me as if I am weak as if I am vulnerable. I am done being treated that way when Meredith decided to torture me na halos ikamatay ko. Just to save his court. Just to save Sandovia which isn't even my land. Before, he was so different. And after what happened with Meredith, he just changed. We were all damaged by it and I was on the brink of drowning with all those nightmares, trying to survive each day, bringing the guilt of those people I slaughtered just for him. But Maxim...he just stopped trying. He was too broken. Too scared for it to happen again. I couldn't blame him but I was doing my best. I was doing my best every day to look fine. To not grimace at every little ceremony his Court has. The place that was once a paradise for me felt suffocating. It felt as if I was trapped but wasn't. And when he decided to trap me in his house, he mush as well did what Meredith to me. It made me feel so suffocated as if my head was shoved underwater. It was something I wasn't expecting him to do. No one could stop him. He became paranoid to the point that he was willing to put me in the dungeons of his manor. But then Raven Lancel saved me. Like he always does. He has been with me the best way that he can even as Meredith gave me her trials. He has always been with me and I didn't even realize it as I was told he was the enemy. But they didn't know the real him. Ibang-iba si Raven Lancel sa kung ano ang mga sinasabi ng mga tao tungkol sa kanya. They see him as the evil lord. The villain. The merciless High Lord of the North Court and would kill anyone who dares cross his land. But they didn't see how he laughs when his friends throw a joke. They didn't see how he looks when he's flustered. They didn't see how he hides behind his High Lord masks as he does it to protect his court. They didn't see the pain in his eyes that night he stayed in my dungeon. They didn't see his vulnerability. They didn't see how his people loved and worshipped him and how he greets them back with their names. They didn't see the admiration in his eyes as he looks at his city, Varsis. They didn't know. Because what they could see was the male Raven wanted them to see. Iyon ang mga bagay na nakita ko sa pananatili ko sa North Court. And I realized, I was stupid to believe it. I was stupid to even think about it. Raven cared so much for his Court and his family that he didn't care what people think of him. And he never tells me what to do. He never treated me as if I was weak. Even as I was doing Meredith's trial, he knew I could win. He knew I would win. He's the only one that bet on me to win the first trial. The only one. The person whom they warned me about turned out to be a good person and became a good friend. I looked at him in front of me as Mel told us everything that has been in happening in Varsis with the short time that we were away. I looked at Raven. Really looked at him. And I could feel the hair on my body rose as his eyes met mine. There was rage and there was calm in his face. And I knew he was more angry than calm as he said, "It would be rude if we don't greet our visitors." He looked at Bry and Az who were beside him, ready to serve their High Lord, their friend. "You all know what to do," he said. "We're going to let hell loose." And I knew it wasn't just their people they are fighting for. Lumalaban sila para sa kapakanan ng buong Sandovia. Lumabalan sila sa kapayapaan. Kahit na masama ang tingin ng iba sa kanila, kahit na ang tingin nila kay Raven ay isang pinunong walang awa, walang modo, hindi nag-iisip sa kapakanan ng iba, wala silang pakialam. Dahil alam ko, alam nina Az, Bry, Mel, at Al, at alam ng mga taong nasasakupan ni Raven na malayong-malayo si Raven sa mga bagay na sinasabi ng mga tao tungkol sa kanya. So long as we knew it, the rest don't matter, as he said. He likes to wear his mask. At kung kinakailangan ko ring gawing magsuot ng maskara para lumaban para sa amin, gagawin ko. After all, he saved me. Countless of times. And I won't do it not just to pay for what he has done for me. I will do it because I want to. I will do it because Raven Lancel has become someone dear. A friend. So with all the remaining swagger, I had earlier as I was sitting on his lap, I poured it all into the one smile I gave him. And he knew, right away I'm in. He knew right away I have officially, wholeheartedly accepted becoming a member of the North Court. Raven nodded toward my direction and I nodded back. "We have important business to deal with," he said and we marched out of the hall leaving Marion and his cronies. *** The place I thought was the most beautiful place I've seen wasn't the same as how we left it.  Varsis City became chaos.  At hindi ko kinaya ang nakikita ko sa mga mata ni Raven. It was pain. Ang Varsis ang lugar na inalagaan niya. Na pinamunuan niya. It was his place. His land. And his people lived there. The bridge that we used to cross whenever Mor invites us to go party was shattered and the clear waters became murky. May nakikita rin akong usok at may mga gusaling nag-aapoy.  Raven's eyes were in total shock as he beheld his Kingdom. In pieces. But then it was short-lived as the shock was replaced with a fierceness so raw I could almost taste it.  "Those fuckers," I heard Bry said beside Raven as they beheld the city.  "Az, Bry, check the whole city for any injured. Mel, Al, prepare the place for our people to stay in the meantime. They might attack again so have the soldiers guard the perimeter," Raven commanded. And it was then that I saw truly how he leads. He doesn't wallow on the problem. instead, he immediately acts on it. As a ruler should.  He then looked at me. "Delta, do you want to come with me?"  A choice. He's giving me a choice. Will I be able to take it if I saw what's the real situation? Alam kong irerespeto niya kung ano man ang magiging desisyon. But I have decided a long time ago. Napagdesisyunan kong manatili na dito. So I placed my hands on my heart. "I am a member of your court now. I will go with you and offer my help as much as I can."  A small smile escaped his lips before he offered his hand for me to take. He then looked at the rest of his Court. His family.  "We're going to calculate the casualties and you know what we're going to do..." he trailed and I could see that certain looks in their eyes. A look that promises violence. That promises death.  "We're going to give it back to them ten times worse," Al replied and Raven nodded.  Mel checked her nails as she said, "It would be rude not to return the favor."  And then both Az and Bry let out a harsh smile.  At napagtanto kong hindi dahil sa katotohanan na sila ang walang dudang pinakamalakas na grupo sa kontinente na hindi ko man lang sila makitaan ng takot. Hindi dahil sa katotohanan na malakas sila kaya wala akong makitang pangamba sa mga mukha nila. Dahil iyon sa alam nilang naroon sila sa isa't-isa kaya naman handa silang kalabanin ang isang buong kontinente para lang protektahan ang nais nilang protektahan.  And it was beautiful. That kind of bond...I've never seen anything like it. And somehow I am part of it. So I became a member of Raven's court. And I will do anything to protect this Court. I am scared. Scared as hell. But knowing that Raven will be here with me, together with the others, I know this isn't a one-man fight. We will fight together.  And with so much as a look of understanding, we all turned and faced the partially ruined city. Agad naman silang umalis para asikasuhin ang utos ni Raven at naiwan kaming dalawa doon. I stood beside him in my gown at agad niyang hinubad ang kanyang coat at ipinatong iyon sa balikat ko. He held the railings and looked down.  Hindi tumakas sa paningin ko anf paghigpit ng hawak niya sa railings. He's mad. He was just composing himself. This is his city. His home. His family's home. And Liberian forces just shattered it without hesitation. Naiintindihan ko kung anong nararamdaman niya ngayon. So every so slowly, I took a step closer and placed my hand on his shoulder. Mukha naman siyang natauhan agad tumingin sa'kin. The pain in his eyes was unbearable to watch kaya naman agad ko siyang niyakap.  I didn't say a word. I let his vulnerable side show. I didn't say anything as he buried his face on my neck and said, "I'm sorry."  I don't know what he was sorry for. Maybe it was for the play we did earlier when he touched me or maybe the fact that he once told me this is the safest place in Sandovia and yet enemies managed to get inside.  But I am as mad as him. Who dared penetrate this sanctuary? Who dared hurt Raven? At hindi ko nakilala ang boses na lumabas sa akin nang sabihin kong, "No enemy gets out of this place alive."  Raven must have not expected it too as he was looking at me with pure surprise. And I met his stare. "They could probably be still around," I said.  "Delta--"  "We have to find them and make them pay for what they did to this city--"  "Delta--"  "They have to pay for making you feel this way, Raven. I can't stand it. I know you're the High Lord, the strongest one at that but I can't sit still and watch you hurt. You've been hurt enough, you've done enough, you've sacrificed enough--" I didnt finish the last words of what I was going to say when he pulled me and hugged me tightly.  Narinig ko siyang mahinang tumawa. "For someone who's been through a lot herself, you sure are quite thoughtful with others. I am fine. Furious, but fine. I am going to make sure to let them pay for what they did in this city." He pulled away from the hug and remained his hands on my shoulders. "Should you want to do it with me, I would want nothing else but to welcome you with open arms but you should also know that this is the start of the war and it could be dangerous. I need you to consider--"  "I've decided. I am going to fight alongside you, Raven," I said with so much conviction.  Nagpakawala siya ng maliit na ngiti bago siya lumayo at isiniksik ang dalawang kamay sa kanyang bulsa. "Then let's go and hunt these fuckers," he said as he eyed me from head to toe. "But as much as I want to see you torturing them in that gorgeous dress, I am afraid you'd have to change into something more comfortable for you--"  I waved my hand dismissively and brazenly took a step forward to take the knife strapped on the inside of his thigh. He clearly wasn't expecting it but he just raised a brow as he watched me use that knife and cut the dress's bottom part, exposing most of my legs. It was easier to move.  I dropped the cloth I just cut and looked at him who wasn't even hiding his stares. His eyes traveled down my legs and then to my face. My eyes.  A feline smile escaped his lips as he said, "Foolish of me to even suggest you get changed when this," his eyes traveled again to how the dress fits, "is so much better."  I rolled my eyes and he let out a chuckle. And moments later, his face became different. He offered his arm and I took it. His face was that of a High Lord. Cold, cunning, unyielding.  And I knew right at the moment that whoever attacked his city would be at Raven Lancel's mercy. It would only be a matter of time.  * * *