Kissed by Fire (Book 5 of Wolves of Milano)

4.Lyana

He disappeared again. What the hell does he do all day? The temp job at the fire station is for four hours a day. Yes, she knows emergencies come up and he can’t just go home if the fire alert comes through. She understands that part. She is the same. She doesn’t go home if a call is made and she might be needed. But he is out of the house more and more. There were times she complained about him being glued to the sofa, but this is a complete opposite. He’s never here! She hopes his father didn’t pull him into all the craziness going on in the pack. That would be bad for him. Mateo has enough problems without his father putting pressure on him too. She knows he has nightmares and he tries to keep them from her. She knows he suffers from insomnia, but is that because of nightmares or something else? He hardly ever sleeps, and then his migraines come for a visit. She has an emergency stash of morphine at home. A leftover from her grandmother's cancer treatments. She knows she shouldn’t give him that without a prescription, but she can’t watch him suffer.

She shrugs the thought away. She can’t force him, but she can try to get him to see a doctor. She is aware that it’s not easy because they are shifters. Any doctor’s visit would be reported to Vito. Unless she gets him an appointment with dr. Bianchi. She is a bear shifter and a great neurosurgeon. Their Alpha has no pull in her office, he wouldn’t dare trespass into the bear clan’s business. She will see what she can do and then she’ll tell Mateo.

Banging on her door makes her jump. She doesn’t have visits, neither does Mateo. They are both on the down low and out of sight with the pack. Who could it be? She runs upstairs to glance through the niche above the door. It’s Vito! Damn! What does he want? She dials Liam’s number to ask him to come by. The bear police officer is a good friend of hers. And he knows what the situation is in the wolf pack. The banging continues, so she grabs her robe and twists her hair up on the top of her head. She can pretend she was showering.

“Stop banging on the door! I heard you the first time!” Lyana speaks up a bit louder. She knows Vito can hear her just fine. She takes care to have the chain in place before she opens the door. It’s not wolf proof, but a slight deterrent nevertheless.

“Where is Mateo?” Vito growls at her. Rude! Not even a hello.

“The station. At least he said he’s going there.” She shrugs.

“Do something with that hair of yours. Blond is not pack colour.” He growls again. “Tell that ungrateful rut that I want to see him.”

“Call him, he’s got a phone.” Lyana scoffs. She won’t show him fear. She won’t back down. She couldn’t care less about him. She slams the door in his face and secures all three locks. They don’t live in a dangerous part of the city, but her grandmother insisted on the locks and she never took them down.

She leans on the wall and hopes that he doesn’t decide to break down the door. He is strong enough to do it. She can hear the police car siren in a short burst, so she looks through the window by her side. Liam is waving at her and there is no sight of Vito anywhere.

“Are you holding together? What did he want?” Liam asks her when she opens the door for him.

“I’m fine. He was looking for Mateo.” She answers. “I hope he won’t drag him into something stupid.”

“Mateo is a survivor, don’t worry about him.” Liam winks at her. “We’ll drive you to work. Just come down to the car when you’re ready. I don’t trust Vito.”

“Thank you. I know you don’t have to do this. It’s not even your part of the city to patrol.” Lyana smiles back at her school friend. She never had many friends, but the bears were always there when she needed something. She can’t say the same of the wolf pack. No help from them. They didn’t help her grandmother and she was pack, not like Lyana and her mixed heritage. She looks too much like her father, too French, too foreign.

Her shift at the hospital is slow today. Just the day she needs after all the commotion back home. She hears things at work that help her piece together the puzzle. Vito is off the rails. After the stunt he pulled with his own son, he went after Alessio and Kara. The two decent wolves of the pack. She shudders at the thought that Mateo is somehow involved in this madness. She is so damn tired of everything. Not just her job, but the city, the pack mess, the life here. If not for him, she would have left the same day her grandmother was laid to rest.

Lyana checks over her schedule and makes the rounds through her patients. She can send a few home and two to other departments. She likes to clear the emergency rooms as soon as possible. She takes a few notes and returns to her station. She was made head nurse of the emergency room last year. She takes her position seriously. The ones before her used this post as a jumping start to something else. She likes it though. She’s not so hands-on with the scene anymore. The paperwork is different, but it doesn’t make her squirm. Her wolf is happier as well. All the blood was taking a toll on the animal.

She sends a text to Mateo. She is worried he might get pulled into whatever craziness Vito is planning now.

-Are you at the station? Lyana

-No. Hiding from my father. Why? Mateo

-He came by the house. He’s looking for you. Lyana

-Damn. Sorry. Shall I disappear? Mateo

-No. I called Liam. Lyana

-You shouldn’t have to. Mateo

-Just be careful. Lyana

-I will. Love you. Mateo

She smiles at the phone. He never says the words out loud, but uses them in texts all the time. If he would only make up his mind. She is so tired of hanging in limbo. She is ninety percent sure they are mates. The feeling is there, but the bond is not. Her grandmother told her a lot about mate bonds. Some indicators are there, but she has no idea what is blocking the bond from forming. Is it him? Could he be doing something? She knows his grandmother was a witch. Could he have inherited some powers? She will wait. She can give him more time. But not indefinitely.

The current situation in the pack doesn’t help anything. Or anyone. She is careful to be on the sidelines. Even the visit this morning was a total surprise. She didn’t know Vito even knew where she lives. But maybe he does because of Mateo? Not that he was ever interested in his youngest son. She can remember all through their school years that Vito never came to any of the school events. Neither did Luna Ellena. Mateo was always alone, if she didn't count his Aunt Marra. Massimo was in the same year as them. She shakes her head. She doesn’t want to think about school. She can’t understand how Massimo got such a great job, but Mateo didn’t. Why is Mateo coasting through life on a temp job? He had better grades, he even helped her study.

She casts all thoughts aside as she hears the ambulance outside. It’s all hands on deck this time. There was a bad accident on the highway and they are the closest hospital. She winks at Alessio before the breathing time is over. He only brings people in, but sometimes he stays. His view on injuries is different than theirs. He saw the accident scene and he can describe things better than the patients. She takes notes on the go and directs beds and people. Sometimes she feels like a conductor at the train station. This is the challenging part of her job. Also, the part she likes the most.

Time flies when things are hectic at the hospital. She should have gone home hours ago, but there was just too much to do. She drags her tired feet to the bus stop while thinking about dinner. What are the chances that Mateo prepared dinner? He’s away most of the time on God knows what side quest. He should get a job. Something. She can’t watch him just waste away on the sofa. Could she give him an ultimatum? Would that even work with him? Maybe now that he can’t go stay with Vittorio? It’s also her fault. She is not consistent with her threats. She has always taken him back. Yes, she loves him. But even love has limits. She is afraid that she has reached hers.

He’s not home. What did she even expect? There are no traces of him doing anything here since she left in the morning. She has to think of something. Could she go back to France? She never felt at home in Milano. Her grandmother was the only tie she had to this pack. In Avignon, she has an aunt, a cousin and her family. But they couldn’t take her in when her parents died, so she went to live with her grandmother. She could easily sell this house and just move. A job wouldn’t be a problem at all. Every hospital needs nurses. She is sure her cousin could put in a good word for her with their Alpha. She was born there after all.

Lyana makes her dinner and plops on the sofa. She was never interested in TV, but she loves comics. She is into Dylan Dog lately. Her collection is slowly outgrowing Mateo’s novels. Well, he hasn’t bought any new ones, and she buys one comic a week. It’s her one guilty pleasure. She can afford it. She doesn’t smoke or drink anything but water. When beer appears in the fridge, she knows Mateo bought it. She overlooks it, because it’s very seldom that he brings any alcohol into her house. Would money be a motivator for him? She thinks that she could ask him to pay a few bills. Things have gotten more expensive in the last few months. Any other attempt of hers failed. He can fix just about anything. She complained about the washing machine making noises, and he fixed it. She thought the fridge would break down, so he fixed it. He is handy when it comes to fixing things. Why the hell can’t he fix their relationship? Why can’t he take the next step? She is tired of living like this. She wants more. She wants a family of her own.

She is thinking of every time she brought that up in the years that they lived together and all the excuses he had as to why not. He always shut her down. Or he escaped to his brother’s place. He can’t go now. Maybe it’s time to try again? Or maybe she should just pack and leave? He can come get her if he finds the guts. But, if she goes, she won’t be waiting for him. She will find a man, a mate. She wants to have kids while she’s still young. It’s not like her biological clock is ticking, it’s just her wish since she was old enough to think about it.

She wakes up in the night to find herself in her bed. Mateo came home! She can hear his light breathing next to her. She has no recollection of actually going to bed. She must have fallen asleep on the sofa and he carried her there. He cares, but he has a weird way of showing that. She will push him hard. She has to. For herself. She will see how he reacts. She will leave if he can’t commit. She has to break this cycle they have found themselves in. It’s not healthy at all.