Kissed by Fire (Book 5 of Wolves of Milano)

19. Running thoughts

Lyana is thinking what to do. Her deadline runs out on Sunday. Is it enough for her what he’s given her so far? She knows there is much more, but he is quiet again. They talk about lunch with Nina and about his books, but he is still holding back. What is this big project he’s working on? What is more important than them? Doesn’t he want to save their relationship? He tells her he loves her in so many ways. He pampers her with little things. He cooks for her. Is it possible he doesn’t love her? Did he lose interest in her in that way? She is a sensual creature. She needs affection and physical contact.

‘Just think it the way it is! You need sex.’ Her wolf scoffs.

‘Do you have to be so crude?’ She wonders.

‘One might think you are a prude. It’s just us in your head.’ The animal snickers. ‘Cuddling is fine, but admit it. You need more.’

‘Yes, I do. I can leave out s*x for a while. It’s the silence that bothers me. He’s still keeping things from me.’ She admits. She misses s*x, but on the emotional level, she has to be honest with herself. She wants to know what is really going on. She needs to be included. She hates secrets and that is what is pushing them apart.

‘Tell him that. Exactly like that.’ Her wolf advises.

‘Do you think it will help?’ She wonders.

‘It can’t hurt.’ The wolf shrugs.

“Hey! There you are!” Nina shakes her shoulders. “It’s not like you to just disappear.”

“I’m thinking.” Lyana looks at her friend. She was sitting in peace out here on the short wall. She would have jumped into action the moment an ambulance would arrive.

“About what?” Nina asks.

“Have you talked with Davide? About Lan?” Lyana skips what she was really talking about and jumps at the chance to explain things about shifters. They are alone out here.

“He’s in a meeting all day. Why?” Nina narrows her eyes at her.

“Lan is close to his sixteenth birthday. It’s a milestone for shifters. We get our animal parts at sixteen.” Lyana explains. “He’s not sick, he’s close to his first shift.”

“We haven’t talked about it. Davide wasn’t sure our child would be a shifter.” Nina whispers. “You think he’s going to be a leopard? But I’m human.”

“You being human has nothing to do with it. Shifter genes are stronger.” She tells her. “Bring him with you on Sunday. We can help explain.”

“But…what if it happens on Sunday?” Nina blanches. “What do we do?”

“We can be there for him. It’s painful the first time. It can be disorienting. But it only lasts for an hour or so. Keeping the animal form is hard at first. It takes practice.” Lyana smiles. “It gets easier later. It’s like changing clothes.”

“Are you sure? Like there is no chance he got the flu? He is changing?” Nina asks again. The uncertainty is all over the woman’s face.

“I’m sure. It usually happens on the day you were born, but not always. I shifted two days early. It could happen for him as well.” Lyana nods.

Lyana coasted through the rest of her shift on air. She is grateful for her team. They know what to do and do it, too. She had to reassure Nina a few times that her son is not going to die. It’s not that kind of a change. It’s not from the books when someone gets bitten and changes forcibly. It’s just another part of a shifter's life. He gets a best friend and a few new abilities. It’s just too bad the young leopard will be too big to cuddle. She gets another full grown wild cat. At which Nina admitted that she has never seen her husband in cat form from up close, or petted him.

“I wouldn’t advise you to pet him. Cats might be playful, but he still comes close to your size and probably weighs more.” Lyana shakes her head at Nina. “While he won’t hurt you on purpose, it might happen by accident. Just a careless paw swipe and you can get hurt badly.”

“Do you understand human speech when you…” Nina whispers. She can’t say the word shift. It’s too strange, but Lyana understands what her friend meant.

“Yeah. I can nod or shake my head to give answers.” Lyana winks.

“Oh. Well…” Nina smiles. “I guess that’s good.”

“Don’t worry. All will be fine. You can laugh about it a few days after.” Lyana smiles. “For us it’s completely normal. Davide probably explained it to him.”

“I know how you feel with Mateo. I feel excluded from my own son’s life.” Nina sighs. “Should I say something?”

“Yes.” She nods. “Tell them what you think. Let them show you. Ask questions.”

“Do you have many humans in the family?” Nina wonders.

“Not really. No.” She shakes her head. “You know Alessio? The paramedic? His mate is human. Then there is Mateo’s uncle Ted. He married a human. But they live in Iceland now. And my cousin is married to a human, but they are in France.”

“So? It’s not common to be with humans?” Her friend frowns. “Why? Is there a rule against it? Or is it something else?”

“For that we need more time. The easy explanation is: we have mates. Sometimes the mate is human, but mostly we get paired with someone from our own kind. Some say it’s the Fates that decree who our mate is, but I don’t buy it. There must be something else. How could three goddesses decide about the fate of thousands of shifters?” Lyana scoffs. “We can debate about it on Sunday in private.”

She is thinking that she needs to talk with Mateo about the prospect of having two cats over. Her wolf is intrigued, but at the same time feeling a bit territorial. She understands what a visit is, but would there be a lingering scent of a cat in her living room? How do they get it out? And why do they have to sit on the sofa? Can’t she forbid it? They can sit around the table. The chairs are safe. She, the wolf, doesn’t care about the chairs, but the sofa is her favourite place. Lyana is a bit confused by the thoughts. What is hers and what are the wolf’s thoughts? Where is the line? Is there a line? Is she bothered by someone else being in her space? It was just Mateo and her for so long. The scent of her grandmother vanished a long time ago.

‘You’re going to do this for Nina. Because you promised to help her.’ Her wolf interrupts her thinking.

‘So, now you don’t mind the cat smell?’ Lyana wonders.

‘I think I do.’ The wolf responds. ‘But, it’s Nina. I like her.’

‘You like her? What is so special about her? You don’t like anyone.’ She inquires. She is genuinely curious about this.

‘She is soft. And she accepted the fact that you are a wolf calmly. She didn’t scream, or run.’ Her wolf explains.

‘Yeah. She’s a real friend.’ Lyana smiles. She likes Nina, too. She has from the first day they ever met.

She comes home to what seems an empty house. She can scent Mateo, but she can’t pinpoint where he is. Shrugging it off, she sits in her reading chair and flips on the lamp that was never used before. Not by her, at least. She has to sort her thoughts, but maybe she can read a bit and just forget about everything. The book she’s reading is great. Murder mystery is her new favourite thing. She still has a hard time believing he wrote it.

“Hey, love. I thought I heard you come home.” Mateo smiles at her.

“Where were you hiding?” She answers with a question of her own.

“The attic. I was searching for the table decorations.” He tells her. “I remember your grandmother had a really cool centrepiece with the duomo in a snowglobe.”

“That old thing? We used to play with it as kids and she used to yell at us.” She laughs. “I was just thinking about her.”

“Do you miss her?” He inquires.

“Yeah,” she nods. She does miss her grandmother. She was her only connection to the pack. Her only family here. Her only ally. The only one that cared. “But, it’s not that. I was thinking about scents. We have people coming over for the first time since she died. Her scent is long gone, but now there will be new ones. My wolf doesn’t mind Nina. But the cats? Their scent will linger around for a few days.”

“I haven’t thought about it.” He admits. “I was busy planning lunch.”

“Will it bother you?” She asks. She can’t decide what to think. She just doesn’t know. She might be open-minded, but who is to say she won’t feel aversion to other shifters in her home. Mateo is a safe bet. He’s been here since their childhood.

“I don’t know.” Mateo shrugs. “I’m used to bears. I work with them. I don’t think I ever met a cat shifter.”

“I have. I remember there was a clan in Avignon. I was eight when they visited. I still remember the scent. That’s why I knew when I got close to Nina to smell it on her.” She tells him. “They were bobcats, but still. It is distinctive. There is just something about cats that leaves an impression.”

“Well, I’m looking forward to it. We need friends.” He winks at her. “Come, help me set up this old thing.”

He found the snow globe. It comes with a small world that represents the main attractions of Milano. She always thought it’s cool, but now that she’s all grown up, she knows it was for tourists. Her grandmother used to work at the tourist board. She got that piece for a Christmas present one year. It made an appearance once a year and everyone was fascinated by it. They probably don’t make them anymore. It must have been expensive as hell. They work on setting it up and she smiles. A small piece of her grandmother made a comeback. And it is a festive season for humans, even if they don’t celebrate it. Nobody can say what decorations they can have set up in their own home.