Lose Me Again

Seeing Red

Chapter Seven

Seeing Red

(Esha’s POV)

The pub was packed, filled with the sounds of music, laughter, and conversation. It was a typical Saturday night, and I’d been looking forward to this girls’ night out all week. I needed the break, something to shake off the tension that had been building up ever since my last argument with Andy. We hadn’t spoken since that heated moment in the library, and I’d told myself over and over that I was glad. I didn’t need him complicating my life.

But deep down, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something had shifted between us—something I wasn’t ready to confront.

“Esha, you’re awfully quiet,” Cassandra said, raising an eyebrow as she took a sip of her cocktail. “You’ve barely said a word since we got here.”

I blinked, forcing a smile. “Sorry, just distracted. It’s been a long week.”

“Come on, it’s girls’ night! No being distracted,” Sophie chimed in, leaning across the table with a grin. “We’re here to have fun, right?”

I nodded, letting out a soft laugh. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“You need to let loose tonight. How about some shots?” Maya suggested, nudging me playfully.

I chuckled and waved her off. “Maybe later. I’m pacing myself.”

The conversation flowed around me as the girls chatted about classes, relationships, and their plans for the upcoming week. I tried to stay engaged, laughing along at Sophie’s ridiculous story about her professor, but my mind kept drifting back to Andy. I hated that he was still occupying my thoughts, lingering there like an unwanted guest. I hated that I felt anything at all about him.

It’s better this way, I reminded myself. It’s good that he’s out of your life.

I took a deep breath and leaned back in my seat, my gaze wandering over the crowded room. That’s when I saw him.

Andy.

He was standing near the bar, leaning casually against the counter, talking to a girl. My heart dropped into my stomach, my breath catching in my throat. The girl—tall, blonde, and strikingly beautiful—was leaning in close, her hand resting lightly on his arm. She was laughing at something he said, looking at him with a possessiveness that made my chest tighten.

I knew her. Cecily.

Everyone knew Cecily. She was obsessed with Andy and made no secret of it. She was always around him, flirting shamelessly, clinging to his every word. And from the look of things, she’d managed to corner him tonight.

“Earth to Esha.” Trisha snapped her fingers in front of my face. “You’ve been staring off into space for like five minutes. What’s up?”

I blinked, tearing my gaze away from Andy and Cecily. “Sorry, I just… zoned out.”

Cassandra followed my line of sight, her sharp eyes narrowing as she spotted what—*or rather, who*—I’d been looking at. “Oh. I see.”

“What?” Maya asked, confused, glancing between Cassandra and me.

“Andy. With Cecily,” Cassandra said, tilting her head toward the bar.

Sophie’s eyes widened in realization, and she leaned in. “Oh no. Don’t tell me you’re still thinking about him.”

“I’m not,” I said quickly, shaking my head. “I don’t care. He can do whatever he wants.”

But the tightness in my chest betrayed me. I could feel the sting of hurt bubbling up inside, no matter how hard I tried to push it down. I didn’t want to care about Andy. I shouldn’t care about Andy. But seeing him with Cecily, laughing and looking so damn comfortable, made something inside me twist painfully.

Cassandra gave me a knowing look. “You sure? Because you look like you’re about two seconds away from punching something.”

I laughed, but it sounded forced. “I’m fine. Really. I’m over it.”

Sophie shook her head. “Girl, please. We all know what’s happening here.”

Maya gave me a sympathetic smile. “Do you want to leave? We can go somewhere else.”

“No,” I said quickly, shaking my head. “I’m not going to let him ruin my night. I’m here to have fun with you guys. He’s… irrelevant.”

But as much as I tried to convince myself of that, I couldn’t stop my eyes from flicking back over to the bar. Andy was still talking to Cecily, and now she was even closer, her hand moving up his arm in a way that made my blood boil. He didn’t seem to be pushing her away. If anything, he looked like he was enjoying her attention.

Why does this bother me so much? I thought bitterly. He’s not mine. He’s never been mine.

But that didn’t stop the hurt from gnawing at me. I’d told myself I didn’t want to care about Andy, that whatever strange connection we had was best left alone. Yet, here I was, seething at the sight of him with another girl. A girl who clearly wanted him.

“Esha, you’re gripping your glass a little too tightly,” Cassandra said, amusement mixed with concern in her voice. “You okay?”

I glanced down and realized my knuckles were white from how tightly I was holding the glass. I let out a shaky breath and set it down.

“I’m fine,” I repeated, but even I didn’t believe it anymore.

Trisha leaned forward, resting her chin on her hand. “You know, I heard Cecily’s been after him for months. Like, seriously obsessed. She talks about him all the time. It’s a little creepy, to be honest.”

Sophie nodded. “Oh yeah. She’s relentless. If Andy’s with her, it’s probably just because he can’t get rid of her.”

The jealousy flared hot and bitter, twisting in my chest. Why do I care? Why does this hurt so much?

I had to get a grip. I had to push these feelings down. Andy wasn’t mine, and he never would be. He was just some guy who infuriated me and made me feel things I didn’t want to feel. But as I glanced over at him again, watching Cecily lean in even closer, that cold, heavy feeling settled deep in my gut.

Stop it, I told myself firmly. You’re not going to let this get to you.

Cassandra, sensing my turmoil, placed a hand on my arm. “Do you want to talk about it? Or do you want to pretend like we’re totally over this and move on?”

I let out a shaky laugh. “Let’s just move on.”

But even as I said it, my gaze drifted back to Andy. Cecily was practically draped over him now, her laugh loud and obnoxious as she clung to his arm. And Andy, for his part, didn’t seem to be doing anything to stop it. He wasn’t pushing her away. He wasn’t telling her to back off. He was just… letting it happen.

Maybe he likes her, I thought, the bitter taste of jealousy thick in my throat. Maybe he’s into her.

The idea made my stomach churn, and I hated myself for caring so much. I hated that this stupid, complicated thing between us was affecting me like this. It wasn’t supposed to matter. He wasn’t supposed to matter.

But he did.

And that was the part that hurt the most.

“Okay, you need a distraction,” Maya said suddenly, standing up and grabbing my hand. “Come on. We’re dancing.”

I blinked, surprised. “What? I don’t—”

“Nope, no excuses,” she interrupted, pulling me toward the makeshift dance floor at the back of the pub where a group of students was already swaying to the music. “You’re not sitting here stewing over some guy. Not tonight.”

The others followed, laughing as they dragged me onto the dance floor. The music was loud, the beat pulsing through the room, and soon we were caught up in the rhythm, our laughter drowning out the noise in my head.

For a while, it worked. I let myself get lost in the music, in the carefree energy of my friends. I danced, I laughed, and I tried my best to forget about Andy, about Cecily, about the tangled mess of emotions swirling inside me.

But even as I spun and moved with my friends, I couldn’t fully shake the image of him from my mind. It was like a thorn, lodged deep inside me, that I couldn’t quite pull free.

After a while, Cassandra leaned in, her voice barely audible over the music. “Feeling any better?”

I smiled, though it didn’t quite reach my eyes. “A little.”

She studied me for a moment, then nodded. “You’re stronger than you think, you know? You’ll get through this. Whatever it is.”

I nodded, grateful for her support, even if I wasn’t entirely sure how to explain what I was feeling. But as the night wore on and the music pulsed around me, I realized something important:

I wasn’t just angry at Andy. I wasn’t just jealous of Cecily.

I was hurt.

Because deep down, I’d started to feel something for him. And seeing him with someone else—someone like Cecily—had made me realize just how much that scared me.

And how much I didn’t want to admit it.