Three
995 Words
Broken alone... Lonely in the dark, Kissy cried.
Love had been hitting her hard and she didn’t even had a chance to defend herself. She thought she was over it, that she was finally able to move on, head held up high, smiling to the crowds that doubted her. She thought her past was in the past.
Instead, it came back to her. Everything came back. Not memories, she had learned to deal with them long ago. He himself came back. Sore, hurt, bleeding, crying, desperate, hopeless. His hazel-green eyes begged her just for a shoulder to cry on.
How could she say no? It’s him!
It’s been forever since he left. It’s been forever since she heard the sound of his voice. It’s been forever since she broke down and got up again. And now he just came back?
Griffin was so hurt... He cried so much. Someone took the best of him, took everything he ever cared about. The only thing they didn’t take was her. Looking at her dark-brown eyes, he saw his whole world. And he felt so guilty...
Griffin said: “I’m so sorry it took me this long. Please forgive me, I never, never, meant to break your heart. And when I did, it broke mine too, because yours was my home. You are my home.”
He meant it, but Kissy answered:
“You know it’s not that easy. I can’t just accept you back, I can’t just go back to you. It breaks me, but I’m still afraid of you. I still don’t trust you.”
It was a lie. But she needed to protect herself. She needed him to prove he was trustworthy. She said to Griffin.
“I’m going to help you, though. I can’t leave you like this, so count me in. For whatever you need, call me in the middle of the night, cry on my shoulders, rant on my chat. Don’t bottle it all up, I can be friends with you.”
And Griffin did. He believed her lie. Hell, even Kissy believed her own lie.
For months they acted like this. She was strict:
“I ain’t an emotional rehab. I’m not your shrink, I’m your friend. If you need professional help, I’d be glad to help you find it, but don’t pour it all out on me.”
Griffin understood, they found a pace, a comfortable one, where they were themselves, honestly and purely.
It was so different from the beginning...
Kissy thought for just a second:
“Maybe I don’t have to be afraid. Griffin won’t hurt me. He has proven this to me. Maybe I should risk it, afterall.”
Oh, couldn’t the odds be in her favor for once?
That day Griffin told Kissy:
“I found someone. She’s... Amazing. She gets me, she makes me laugh and we have so much in common, you know?”
'She gets you? More than I do? She’s funnier than me? How much in common do you have, because I’m sure it’s not as much as you and I do.'
Kissy thought. Tears threatened to roll down her cheeks, but she bit her lip, took a deep breath.
Griffin said: “I was dying to tell you this. You have no idea how much you matter to me, and your opinion, your approval, means a lot.”
Her heart shattered like glass. She smiled and answered:
“You have no idea how glad I am you told me! I’ve seen you go through so much and knowing you’ve found someone that makes you happy really makes me happy! I cannot wait to meet her.”
How could Kissy tell Griffin, she had fallen in love with him all over again? Not a continuation from the first time, but all over again. How could Kissy tell Griffin she wishes she was her? How could she put herself and him through this again? It’s him!
Slowly, Kissy took off. Cried in the dark. Told herself she knew that would happen. Kissy herself had told Griffin, that they were never gonna happen again. She shut him out. She ran away. How could she want him now?
She whispered to herself:
“The heart that breaks alone hurts worse than the heart that breaks beside someone.”
It’s ok to cry
It’s ok to feel down
It’s ok to feel the need of talking about it a lot
It’s ok to take time getting over it
It’s ok still hoping though it’s hopeless
It’s ok to do stupid things to stay around him
You can’t control everything. You’re a human being.
I’ll surround you everytime you fall, the only thing I want you to do is take all the energy inside you to get better. Move to places, people, activites that make you feel great. Because you are awesome.
She came to understand that her own happiness was a choice, so she made a promise to herself to keep her own well-being sacred.
'I'm the girl that believes that what comes around goes around. The one that hopes for a better day. The one that won’t give up on you.
I'm the girl that’s unlike the rest. The one that spent her days smiling, and her nights crying.
I'm the girl that would love to be loved. The one that looks so damn strong, but feels so weak.
I'm the girl that picks herself up every time I falls.'
?MahikaNiAyana
- Writer
