Poisonous Love (Keanna & Gavin Story)

Chapter 26

Napangiwi ako pagkatapos inumin ang alak na inorder ni Danzel. I had no idea what mixture of alcohols was in the drink, but it tasted bitter at first, and then, the sweetness will hit you afterwards. It was the opposite of other alcohols I've tasted. I kinda like it.

"Pasado ba sa panlasa mo?" tanong niya sa akin nang mapangiti rin ako pagkatapos ngumiwi.

I nodded and chuckled. He gave me another shot, and because I already knew what it tasted like, I dranked it without hesitation unlike my first try.

Hindi naman ako mahilig uminom at mayroon lang akong piling mga alak na iniinom. I prefer cocktails, most of the time. Lasang juice lang kasi 'yon at halos hindi mo malalasahan ang pait ng alak.

"Five shots, Keanna."

Nag-angat ako ng tingin kay Jethro na aking katapat. Inuunti-unti niya ang iniinom na medyo mamahaling beer. Para siyang nakakantandang kapatid ko na binabantayan ako.

"Let her drink until she can, Jethro," pagtatanggol naman ni Danzel sa akin na malapit nang pumalit sa puwesto ni Jethro bilang aking pinakamamahal na kaibigan. "Ihahatid naman natin siya mamaya. She won't be alone. She'll be home safe."

"Oo nga!" pagsang-ayon ko sa sinabi ni Danzel.

Jethro rolled his eyes. "I'm sure you'll be worse than me is she's here..." he quietly said, but I could say that those were the words that will surely push Danzel's button.

Gusto ko sanang gatungan ang pang-iinis niya kay Danzel gaya nag madalas na ginagawa ngunit si Danzel ang kakampi ko ngayong gabi. I should be loyal to my partner-in-crime tonight. Maybe, next night out.

Kala ko ay tatahimik na si Danzel pero ngumisi na lamang siya at saka nilagok ang isang shot bago muling nagsalita.

"Mabuti nga at sumama na ulit sa atin si Keanna kaya hayaan na natin siya..." sabi na lang niya.

I was missing in action a few time from our, so called, regular nightout. That's why I was already familiar with the atmosphere in bars. I could also name my favorite one, and this bar was one of it.

Dahil may maayos na trabaho ako ulit, siguro ay muli na akong makakasama sa kanila. We do nightouts twice a month. Just enough to leave a space and collect stories to share with each other. Sana nga lang ay lagi naming makasama si Erin pero hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin sila ganoon kaayos ni Danzel. They're still awkward with each other.

Ngayon, kaya ako sumama ay hindi lang dahil matagal na magmula noong huli kong pagsama kundi dahil pakiramdam ko ay kailangan ko ng alak sa aking sistema. I was very, very, very fragile and vulnerable in the past few days.

I know it's a stupid thing to think that alcohol could help me, but I was already desperate. I'd try anything that I think might help.

And because the dance floor wasn't at its peak yet, I easily heard Jethro's phone ringing. He dropped his eyes to look at his phone. His jaw clenched before turning the silent mode on and placed his phone back on the table. Its screen was now facing the cold surface of the table.

Nang mapaangat ang tingin niya sa akin ay agad siyang nag-iwas ng tingin na para bang mayroong itong tinatago sa akin. At dahil may iba akong pakiramdam, nilingon ko si Danzel at umasang mayroon akong makukuhang sagot sa kanya.

Just the way Danzel smirked to Jethro, I knew there's something up. There's something I wasn't knowledgeable of.

Bago ko pa maibuka ang bibig ko para makapagtanong kay Danzel ay naunahan na niya ako. He didn't speak directly to me, but instead, he started teasing Jethro.

"Pansinin mo na kasi..." mapang-asar na sabi ni Danzel kay Jethro.

Dumami ang linya sa noo ni Jethro dahil sa iritasyon niya kay Danzel. Mas lalo lamang akong nakuryoso. Bakit may alam si Danzel na hindi ko alam?

"Ano 'yon?" Hindi ko na napigilan ang pananahimik.

I saw Jethro quickly threw dagger looks at Danzel for a warning, but Danzel was determined to take his revenge—he turned to me with a smile that held a very interesting story.

"May babae si Jethro—"

"Wala akong babae," agap na pagtanggi ni Jethro, ngunit hindi ko siya pinansin at nanatili ang aking atensyon kay Danzel.

"Okay... It's not his girl, but there's this girl who really likes him," pagtatama ni Danzel. "Last time we went out, she even followed Jethro and introduced herself to me personally."

Mas lalo akong naging interesado. "Ano'ng hitsura niya?"

"Well, she's kinda pretty," Danzel simply answered.

I'll take that as she's really pretty. Alam kong hindi niya sasabihin na talagang maganda ang babae dahil si Nathen lang ang nakikita niya na magandang babae.

Nilingon ko si Jethro na hindi mawala-wala ang iritasyon. Hindi naman sa gusto kong dagdagan ang inis niya pero gusto kong mas makilala ang babaeng naghahabol sa kanya. To be honest, it's one of my dreams to see a girl with him. He's been single since forever, and I think it's time for him to get a girl. He's not getting any younger.

"You should've brought her here!" I told Jethro with excitement.

Hindi ko maitago ang pagiging maligalig ko. Baka siya na ang maging sagot sa hiling ko na magkaroon na ng lovelife si Jethro. Kapag nakita kong karapat-dapat siya para sa kaibigan ko, hindi ako magdadalawang isip na tulungan pa siya na makuha ang atensyon ni Jethro.

"She doesn't need to be here," mariin niyang sabi. "I don't want her here."

"Pero gusto ko siyang makilala!" I demanded, trying to use my power over him.

"You don't have to know her," he said. "Wala akong balak na ipakilala siya sa'yo. Hell, I don't even like her. She's annoying and insensitive."

Kahit hindi para sa akin ang mga salitang 'yon ay nakaramdam ako ng kaunting kirot sa aking puso. Alam ko kung gaano kalaki at kasakit ang magiging epekto no'n sa babaeng sinasabihan niya kung nadinig nito ang mga katagang 'yon.

I gritted my teeth, equalling his building anger. He's the insensitive one! Hindi niya alam na nakakasakit na siya dahil sa mga salitang binabato niya.

"You may only find her annoying because she's trying to get you attention. Why don't you try to let her in and see the changes?" I rooted for the girl who likes him. "Give her a chance!"

Jethro's eyes turned pitch black as he stared back at me. I couldn't remember the last time he looked at me like that and it almost made me shiver. However, I shouldn't back down!

"Maybe, she' the one, Jethro," I tried to convince him. "You might find yourself falling for her, if only you'd give her a chance."

"Just stop, Keanna, okay?" I could feel the seething irritation on Jethro's voice. "Hindi mo ako mapipilit sa gusto mong mangyari."

Kung inis na inis siya, aba'y lalo na ako dahil hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ayaw niyang subukan. Wala namang masama roon!

I didn't want him to regret the chance that should've taken. It's very hard to live with regret. Alam ko dahil nabubuhay ako ngayon, araw-araw na mayroong mararamdamang pagsisisi kahit pa pilit ko itong binabalewala at ipinipilit sa sarili na tama ang mga desisyong binitawan ko noon. I didn't want Jethro to suffer like me.

"Bakit ba kasi ayaw mo?" tanong ko at humalukipkip.

He was slightly taken aback from my question, but he quickly got his composure back and answered my question.

"I don't have time for that."

My forehead creased. I won't buy his answer. Pakiramdam ko ay kapag tinulak ko siya sa babaeng 'yon ay mahuhulog din siya ng tuluyan. Pinipigilan niya lang. Alam ko! I've been there.

"Sige na kasi, Jethro! Susubukan mo lang naman, eh," pilit ko lalo sa kanya. "Kung gusto mo, ako muna ang kikilala sa kanya. Pagkatapos, kapag nakita kong ayos naman siya, saka ko siya ilalapit sa'yo. Kapag hindi, ako na mismo ang gagawa ng paraan para tigilan ka niya."

"That will never happen," he said with finality.

"Jethro, sige na! Tutulungan nga kita—"

Bakit mo ba ako pinapakialaman?" singhal niya na nagpatigil sa akin sa pagsasalita.

Bahagya akong natigilan dahil sa pag-iiba ng tono ng kanyang boses pero dahil gusto kong sagutin ang tanong niya, nagawa ko pa ring sumagot.

"Because I want you to start falling in love and be with someone who'll love you and take care of you in this lifetime," I sincerely told him. "Hindi na tayo bata, Jethro. Sooner or later, we will have to settle down and create a family. Kaya kung hindi mo susubukan ngayon na mayroong nagti-tiyagang maghabol sa'yo, kailan pa?"

I saw his jaw clenched a few times. Kung kanina ay mdailin na ang kanyang titig sa akin, hindi ko alam na mas may ididilim pa 'yon.

"Wala akong pakiaalm," mariin ang pagkakabigkas niya sa bawat salita.

"Jethro..." I heard Danzel called him with a warning tone.

"Kung ano man ang gusto kong gawin ko sa buhay ko, wala ka na roon," pagpapatuloy niya.

Napaawang ang aking labi. Parang may punyal na tumama sa aking dibdib. It's bleeding and hurting for my precious friend as he was staring to draw a kine between us.

"You have no say on what I want to do with my life," he kept on throwing those dagger-like words. "And if you're concerned, save it for someone else. I don't need it."

I couldn't speak anymore. I was completely speechless.

"Sana hindi ka na lang sumama ngayon," bulong niya sa sarili niya, ngunit dinig na dinig ko 'yon.

"Jethro!" mas lalong naging mariin ang boses ni Danzel.

Binalewala ni Jethro si Danzel at tahimik siyang kumuha ng dalawang shot sa lamesa at magkasunod na ininom 'yon.

Sa tingin ko ay hindi ko naman na kailangang maghanap ng mga tamang salita na aking dapat sabihin pabalik sa kanya. I clearly got what he wanted to say. He wanted me to leave. He wanted me to stop meddling in his life.

Kumuha rin ako ng isang shot at agad ko iyong ininom bago tahimik na tumayo. Sinukbit ko ang aking bag at saka nilingon si Danzel.

"Uuwi na ako. Salamat," pagpalaalam ko sa kaibigan.

Mabilis na tumayo si Danzel. "Ihahatid na kita," sabi niya.

Tipid akong ngumiti at umiling. "Kaya ko namang umuwi mag-isa," sabi ko na lang. "Just enjoy the rest of the night without me."

Hindi ko na hinayaang mapilit pa ako ni Danzel sa kanyang gustong mangyari kaya mabilis akong nagmartsa palabas ng bar. Gusto ko ring mapag-isa ako ngayon. Masyadong namamanhid ang puso ko dahil sa mga salitang binibitawan ni Jethro at kung ano ang napakaloob na mensahe roon.

I guessed that's how our long friendship will end, huh?

Kung hindi man 'yon ang katapusan, paniguradong hindi na 'yon maibabalik sa dati. I was really hurt this time. He wasn't even drunk and was completely sober when he spit those words. He clearly meant it.

I couldn't help but to feel that he was being unfair as well. I let him comment and say his opinion about my life and decisions, but I never lashed out on him like that. Instead, I tried to understand him as much as I could because I know that he cared for me. Nakakalungkot lang dahil hindi niya ako kayang intindihin kagaya ng ginawa ko sa kanya.

Pagkalabas ko sa bar ay huminga ako ng malalim at saka pilit na ikinakalma ang sarili. Sa sobrang paninibugho ay hindi ko agad naramdaman ang maliliit at sunod-sunod na pagpatak ng ulam. Ibinaba ko ang tingin ko sa lupa at nakitang basang-basa ito. Siguro ay umuulan ng malakas kanina. Iyon din ang dahilan kung bakit wala masyadong naglalakad na mga tao sa daan.

Nilingon ko ang paligid at naghanap ng maaari kong silungan habang nag-aabang ng taxi. I saw a shed nearby, but before I could even take a step, I felt someone covered me with a suit.

Maamoy ko pa lang ang pamilyar na bango galing sa suit ay may ideya na ako kung sino 'yon at nang lingunin ko ito, nakumpirma kong tama nga ako ng hinala.

"G-Ga—Sir!" Muntik ko pa siyang matawag sa kanyang pangalan sa sobrang pagkabigla.

Mabilis niya akong sinikop at idinikit papalapit sa kanya. Inakbayan niya ako gamit ang kanang braso habang ang kaliwa naman ay nakasuporta sa kanyang suit na sumasalo sa bawat patak ng ulan upang hindi ako mabasa.

"Sir, saan tayo—"

"I'll drive you home," he simply said before I could even finish my question.

I didn't know if it was just a coincidence that he's here tonight and he saw me almost drenched in the rain, or maybe, fate was really doing it's work of art and trying to defy the destiny that I created for myself, but either of that, I was actually glad that he found me.

His moves were quick and precise as he led inside his car and closed the door. Tinanggal ko ang suit niya na halos basang-basa na. Kung hindi siguro makapal ang tela nito, paniguradong mayroon nang tumutulong tubig.

Napakunot ang aking noo nang makitang nagtagal si Gavin sa pagpasok ng sasakyan. Lumingon ako sa likod at nakita kong mayroon siyang kinuha roon bago patakbong tinungo ang driver's seat.

Naestatwa ako habang tinitingnan siyang basa nang dahil sa ulan. Nahabag ang aking puso lalo na ng ibinigay niya sa akin ang tuwalyang kinuha sa likuran at inuna ako kaysa sa kanya na mas kailangan magpatuyo.

Hindi ako ganoong nabasa dahil sa kanyang suit na nagkubli sa akin mula sa ulan kaya bago niya pa mapaandar ang sasakyan ay lumapit ako sa kanya at ginamit ang tuwalyang ibinigay niya upang punasan siya. Napatigil siya sa gitna ng kanyang ginagawa dahil sa aking biglang pagpunas sa kanya.

My mind said that I should stop, but my heart cared for him a lot that it wouldn't want to get defeated by my thoughts. It didn't want to be controlled.

In the moment, I supported my heart to win the fight against my mind.

Kahit ngayon lang, gusto kong maranasan ulit kung paano siya hawakan at alagaan. Kahit ngayon lang, gusto kong maramdaman niya na halos walang nagbago sa nararamdaman ko para sa kanya. Kahit ngayon lang, gusto kong maramdaman ulit ang kasiyahan na naramdaman ko noon sa kanya.

"Did you really want us to break up before?" he suddenly asked with his husky voice.

Napatigil ako sa marahan na pagpupunas sa kanya. Unti-unti kong ibinaba ang aking kamay upang makita ko siya ng maayos. Ngayon ay titig na titig siya sa akin habang hinihintay ang aking sagot.

Even if I hesitated a lot before because I loved him so much, that was what I wanted to do in order to grow independently and detach my life from his fast-growing world.

Dahan-dahan akong tumango. "Yes..." Pero kung hindi kailangan ay hindi ko gagawin. However, I needed to do it before I completely lose myself and rebranded of foul words the society had for me.

Mahal ko siya. Mahal na mahal pero ang manatili sa tabi niya ang unti-unting pumamapatay sa akin. Kaya ko nagawa ang desisyon na makipaghiwalay, kahit labag sa kalooban ay 'yon para masalba ang sarili kong mabuhay pa.

Maybe my decision will not favor by everyone, I don't care being called stupid or dumb. They'll never understand to be labeled as someone you are not, it's hard to fight mind monster, it's hard to fight what yourself wants and what's yourself deserves.

Bahagyang napaawang ang kanyang labi bago sumilay ang ngisi. Umiling siya sa sarili at bumulong. "What was I thinking?"

He let out a deep sigh before the car's engine roared to life, and we began the trip without anyone brave enough to say another word.