Poisonous Love (Keanna & Gavin Story)

Chapter 21

We were both exhausted from the trip. After swimming and snorkeling, we went to four islands and ate our lunch on the second one with a picnic setting. We rested there for a while before continuing our island hopping. Gavin rested his head on my lap while we were under the shade of a coconut tree.

It was a very peaceful moment for the both of us we were the only people on the island. The cool sea breeze amd faint sound of crashing waves put us under tranquility, but it wasn't enough to make my mind at peace. What made my heart and mind calm was his presence. Everytime I looked at him, I was at peace.

"What do you want for dinner?" Gavin asked me when we were settled inside the mansion.

I already took a bath to wash away the saltiness of the seawater on my skin and changed to comfortable clothes, and I could see that Gavin also did the same. He's now on his gray cotton short and plain white v-neck shirt. His hair was down and still damped from taking a shower.

"Ako na ang magluluto ngayon," sabi ko at saka tinungo ang kusina ngunit agad naman siyang sumunod sa akin kaya hinarap ko siya upang pigilan. "Doon ka na lang sa sala o kaya sa kuwarto mo. Ako na ang bahala rito."

My lips twiched ad he pouted his lips. I stopped myself from smiling and stared at him who's looking like a rejected kid.

"I want to cook dinner for the both of us tonight," he said. "You can just watch me or lend a help even if I don't really need it. I just know you can't stand not doing anything to help.

I stared at him with his light pouty look. How could I ever say no his pleas, especially when he doesn't do it very often? Madalas ay ako lagi ang pinagbibigyan niya at minsan lang siya nasusunod. Ibinigay ko na sa kanya 'to dahil wala nang pagkakataon para magawa ko 'to.

I backed out and smiled. "Okay."

His smile immediately replaced the pouty look oh his lips. He quickly kissed me on the cheek before heading to the fridge.

"Still have no request?"he probed.

Umupo ako sa stool sa kitchen counter at pumangalumbaba habang pinapanood siya. "Ikaw na ang bahala." I just told him.

"No problem."

Mabilas niyang nahagilap ang mga kailangan niya sa fridge at saka sinimulan ang pagluluto. Para maabala ang sarili ay kinuha ko ang kanyang laptop at saka inilipat doon ang mga pictures at videos na nasa GoPro upang mailipat ko rin ito sa aking cellphone. I wanted to keep these memories with me. Kahit ito man lang ay matira sa akin.

After I was done copying the files to my phone, I helped Gavin by arranging the table setting. Hindi rin nagtagal ay natapos na rin si Gavin sa kanyang niluluto. It was a dish I wasn't familiar of, but I knew I had it before when he took me as a date in one of their social gatherings.

"Ano 'to?" tanong ko sa kanya nang pinag-usod niya ako ng upuan para makaupo.

"Roasted steak with white cheese sauce," he answered. "Found it on Youtube last night while I was watching random videoes. Good thing we also bought meat when we went to the market."

Nang makaayos na siya ng upo sa aking harapan ay sinimulan ko nang tikman ang niluto niya at bahagyang nanlaki ang aking mga mata dahil sa sarap nito. I knew he knows how to cook, but among all of his dishes that I've tasted, this was his best.

"Try it with rice. Masarap din kapag may kanin na kasama," sabi niya.

I did what he recommended me and I just loved it even more. Hindi ako sanay kumain ng ulam lang gaya mga mga nakikita kong ginagawa ng mga mayayaman tuwing sinasama niya ako sa mga pagtitipon nila. Kailangan ay lagi akong may kanin.

"You like it?" he asked me even though it was pretty obvious that I liked the dish.

Tumango ako sa kanya nang may ngiti sa aking labi habang patuloy ako sa pagkain. Sinuklian niya ang aking ngiti nang makitang talagang nagustuhan ko ang kanyang niluto.

"If you really like it, I'll cook it for you whenever you crave it," he siad.

Bahagya akong natigilan sa pagkain. My lips parted as I stared at the meal he prepared for me. Before Gavin noticed my change of mood, I shook my head, smiled and continued eating while constantly giving him compliments.

"You aren't tired yet?"

Yakap-takap ako ni Gavin habang nakaupo kami sa malaki at kumportableng sofa sa living room.

Umiling ako at saka mas lalong isiniksik ang sarili sa kanya. Kinagat ko ang aking ibabang labi at ipinikit ang aking mga mata.

"I think you are..." he chuckled lightly. "Let's get you tucked in to your bed."

Mas hinigpitan ko ang aking pagkakayakap sa kanya. "Sandali lang..." pagpigil ko. "I want to stay like this for a while."

"You are giving me a pretty hard time..." he said under his breath.

Napa-angat ako ng tingin sa kanya at sumalubong sa akin ang namumungay niyang mga mata na nakatingin sa akin. He didn't look comfortable with our position so, I slowly pulled myself away from him but he stopped me from doing so. He pushed me closer to him.

"But I liked it," he added.

Kinagat ko ang ibabang labi habang ang mga luha sa aking mga mata ay nagsisimulang magtipon. Hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili kong maging emosyonal.

Lord, please, give me strength to let go of him. Hindi ko ata kaya. Parang hindi ko kayang bumitaw. Ngayon pa lang ay nasasaktan na ako. Hindi ko lubos maisip na sasaktan ko ang taong mahal ko. It felt like some kind of suicide.

Dahan-dahang inangat ni Gavina ang aking mukha. He gently wiped the tears under my crease while looking so worried.

"Why are you crying?" he asked in a very soft voice.

Umiling ako at saka ngumiti. "Masaya lang ako..." sabi ko. "Masaya akong nakilala kita."

I was hurting but I was really happy because I got to meet him. I was happy and thankful that someone like him loved me more than I could hope for. Sa sobrang sakit at saya na nararamdaman ko, pakiramdam ko ay sasabog na ang puso ko.

"I hope you'll never regret meetinge me..."

Kumunot ang kanyang noo bago umiling. "Of course, I won't," sabi niya. "Ang makilala ka ang pinakamagandang nangyari sa buhay ko. Why would I reget it?"

Once again, I shook my head as tears began to flow more freely. Hindi ko na mapigilan ang bawat pag-agos ng aking luha. Sana lang ay manatiling ganoon ang pananaw niya kahit na masaktan ko siya o magkasakitan kaming dalawa.

Muli ay marahan niyang pinunasan ang bawat luhang lumalandas sa aking pisngi. Kulang na lang ay saluhin niya ang mga ito na para bang mapipigilan no'n ang sakit na nararamdaman ko.

Unti-unti naman siyang natigil sa pagppupunas ng aking luha at nang mag-angat ako ng tingin sa kanya ay kita kong nanatili ang kanyang tingin sa aking labi. Napaawang ang kanyang ibabang labi habang tinitingnan 'yon.

I unconsciously licked my lips that finally pulled the trigger as he suddenly attacked me with hungry kissed. He devoured my lips like it some kind of sweet candy he's been craving for. I tried pulling myself out from the kisses and catch my breath, but when I opened my mouth, his tongue swiftly slipped inside.

I felt my body changed its temperature as I was getting feverish temperature and I couldn't help but to respond to his kisses.

The way Gavin was kissing me while simultaneously touching me in my most primitive parts, I lost my sanity that I couldn't keep tracked with our bodies' movements. Next thing I knew, he was already naked on top of me. His kisses went down to my neck. He was very good at multitasking because he was able to remove my top while feasting on my neck and shoulder blade with his lips.

I didn't know how he did it, but I got surprised when I was only left with my undies. Masyadong nakakaliyo ang kanyang paghawak at paghalik sa akin. Hindi ko na masundan ng maayos ang mga nangyayari pero panay ang pagsunod ng aking katawan sa kanyang gustong mangyari.

I couldn't stop him because I admit that I was also enjoying our very intimate activity, but I was slightly frustrated because I was craving for something more. My body was pleading for something that would make it satisfied.

When I felt his fingers touched my flesh, I gasped and his lips went to nibble on my chest that doubled the pleasure I was feeling. He kept on playing with my folds as I panted, out of breath.

"I... I Want..."

Hindi ko matuloy-tuloy ang nais kong sabihin dahil sa nakakaliyong pakiramdam na ibinibigay niya sa akin.

"Ahh..." I moaned for the never ending pleasure.

"Hmmm... What is it?" he playfully asked, but the sweetness on his voice was something I've never heard before.

When his long finger flawlessly slipped in between my folds, it only made me grow impatient. I arched my back to meet the thrust of his long finger going inside me, but both of his hand suddenly pinned my hips yo hold me still while looking at me intently.

"Gavin, please..." The voice thay came out from me didn't even sound familiar.

"I don't want to hurt you, baby." He sounded so hoarse.

Please... I beg..." I pleaded. "I want you..."

Dahil sa aking pagmamakaawa ay naputol ang kanyang inaalagaang pasensya. He removed his comfy cotton shorts along with his brief to free his proud long and thick member which made my eyes wide open.

I was busy thinking if he will fit me when he carefully parted my legs. I bit my lower lip while watching as he positioned himself, ready to make the most awaited entrance thay I'd been begging him to do.

Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kanya at nakita kong tumingala siya habang unti-unting pinapasok sa akin ang kanya ng buong-buo. I screamed for the mixture of pain and pleasure it amde me feel. Hindi ko alam kung ano ba dapat ang uunahin ko—kung ang sarap ba o ang sakit. But when his thrust got faster and created harmonious rhythm with my body, the pain lessened and the pleasure got so high that it was all I could feel until I felt a hot liquid pouring into my womb.

"Papakasalan kita, Keanna," pagod niyang bulong sa akin nang daganan niya ang aking katawan. "Ikaw ang babaeng ihaharap ko sa Kanya."

What he said before I drifted to sleep was all a blur to me. It wasn't clear.

The next morning, I was sore in between my thighs. I tried to lift my legs, but I could barely move. It was late when I realized what happened last night. I checked myself under the sheets and saw that I was wearing my undies and an oversize shirt. I gave my all to him without inhibitions.

I had no regrets. Wala akong pinagsisisihan dahil ibinigay ko ang una ko sa lalaking mahal na mahal ko ngunit hindi ko alam kung tama pa ba 'yon lalo na kung wawakasan ko rin naman ang aming relasyon. I only made the burden I was going to carry heavier.

My eyes slightly widened when I heard the door creaked as it slowly opened. Sumulyap si Gavin mula sa labas at nang makitang gising na ako ay dahan-dahan siyang pumasok at may dala-dalang tray ng pagkain.

"Good morning..." he greeted me with his husky voice and a charming smile. "I brought you breakfast."

I couldn't find it in me to return his greeting. His husky voice made me recall his bedroom voice and how hoarse it was last night while he's on top of me. Hindi ko rin siya kayang tignan. All I could think about was how he looked at me last night. Pakiramdam ko ay sasabog sa init ang aking pisngi.

Nang mailapag niya sa coffee table ang tray ay lumapit siya sa akin at umupo sa gilid ng kama. Humalik muna siya sa aking gilid ng aking noo bago niya nagawa huliin ang aking tingin.

"Are you sore?" he asked me in a very obvious question.

Kinagat ko ang aking ibabang labi. "A-Ayos lang..." sagot ko kahit na parang namamaga sa sakit ang aking p********e.

His head tilted on one side and pursed his lips while looking at me. His eyes were filled with concern.

"I'm sorry... We shouldn't have done it yet. We will never cross the line again until we're already married," he suddenly apologized. "I know we're still young but I'm sure. Once we're both settled after graduation, I'm gonna marry you."

Parang may mainit na kamay na humaplos sa aking puso. I could feel his sincerity. Parehas naming alam na mali ang ginawa naming dalawa lalo na't hindi kami kasal.

His hand caressed my skin as it went down to hold my delicate hand. Inangat niya ang aking kamay na kanyang hawak-hawak at pintakan ng halik.

Sa sobrang gulat ko nang makita kong may itunutok siyang singsing sa aking daliri ay mabilis kong binawi ang aking kamay sa kanya. Bahagya rin siyang natigilan sa aking ginawang pagbawi bago ako nilingon. Ang kanyang singsing na hawak ay naiwan sa ere. My eyes widened while staring at him with fear.

He might not let me go if I let him put a ring on me.

"K-Keanna..." he stuttered saying my name that sounded more like he was pleading.

Unti-unting nagtubig ang aking mga mata at nanlabo ang aking paningin. Hinayaan kong tumulo ang aking luha para matingnan siya ng mabuti.

"I-I'm sorry..." I stuttered as well.

His forehead creased like he couldn't understand what I was saying. "W-What..." Hindi niya maituloy ang kanyang sasabihin. "Was it against your will? Hindi mo ba gusto ang nangyari?"

Muli akong umiling at mas naging marahas ang pagtulo ng aking luha. Pakiramdam ko ay wala silang balak tumigil. Ang makita pa lang ang kanyang ekspresyon na naguguluhan sa aking kinikilos ay parang unti-unting sinasaksak ang aking puso.

"I'm sorry, baby. I promise not to do it again unti we're married. I'm sorry... I'm sorry." Muli niyang hinagilap ang aking kamay ngunit buong lakas akong umatras mula sa kanya.

I wouldn't let him reach me. Baka kapag nahawakan niya ako ay bumigay ako at hindi ko magawang iwanan pa siya gaya ng aking plano.

"I can't marry you..." Parang hangin lang na lumabas sa aking bibig ang mga salitang binitawan ko.

"What?" Now, he sounded more hurt than confused. "D-Did I hear you right?"

Hindi ko pa mahagilap ang mga salitang gusto kong sabihin. Masyado akong nasasaktan na nagbara ito sa aking lalamunan.

"Should I do a better proposal?" he asked, still sounding hopeful. "I know you deserve more than this, but I just can't wait to put a ring on your finger and—"

"I can't marry you."

He stopped and stared at me when I managed to say those words with conviction even when my voice cracked in the middle.

"I'm sorry, Gavin... Hindi ko kaya..." naiiyak kong sabi.

Marahas siyang tumayo at saka ginulo ang kanyang buhok bago ako muling hinarap.

"Ano ba ang sinasabi mo, Keanna?" naguguluhan niyang tanong sa akin ngunit damang-dama ko ang sakit sa bawat salitang lumalabas sa kanyang mga labi. "We were okay yesterday. We were more than okay. We made love! Tapos iyan ang sasabihin mo sa akin pagkatapos ng unang gabi natin? Am I a toy to you?"

Umiling ako at pinakawalan ang luhang namumuo sa aking mga mata.

"Keanna, ano pa ba ang kulang? Saan ba ako nagkamali?" pagmamakaawa niya. "Minahal kita sa pamamaraan na alam ko. May mali ba? May hindi ka ba nagustuhan? Kung may gusto kang baguhin sa pagmamahal na alam ko ay gagawin ko."

"Wala kang mali..." iyak ko.

"Then, why?!" He finally exploded as tears began to stream down his face as well.

I bit my lower lip. My thoughts were haywired. I didn't even know what were the right words to tell him, but I knew I should say something reasonable.

"I want to grow independently and I want to achieve my dreams." I told him.

"Can't you grow with me by your side?" he calmly asked even when he's hurting. "Can't you achieve your dreams while I support you every step of the way?"

"You can! But I don't want people to discredit my success in the future just because we're in a relationship... just because Gavin Alcantara is my boyfriend. I don't want people to think that I can only achieve my dreams just because I'm with you. I can't bear the pain of being named as a gold digging b!tch that's why I have to let you go, but I promise to come back to you once I can finally stand on my own; once I finally have something to be proud of."

Those were the words I wanted to tell him, but I know I shouldn't, if I really wanted him to let go of me.

"Yes," I said while looking straight into his eyes, trying not to show any hesitation. "You'll only slow me down. I don't need your support. I don't need you."

The room suddenly felt colder as his eyes turned bloodshot, and I could feel the hatred flowing through his veins. His lips parted like he wanted to say something but instead, he let out an evil smirk to mask off the pain.

"Maybe they're all right. May I should've listened to them..." he voiced out his thoughts.

Kinagat ko ang aking ibabang labi. Kahit hindi niya sabihin kung ano ang iniisip niya ay mayroon na akong hinuha. Alam na alam ko kung ano ang sinasabi ng iba patungkol sa aming relasyon. Alam ko kung paano nila sinisira ang aking dignidad dahil sa tingin nila ay hindi kami nababagay.

Mas masakit pala kapag siya na mismo ang unti-unting naniniwala roon. But then again, we were about to end anyway. I didn't need to explain myself to him. I'd let him believe what he wanted to believe in.

He tightly closed his eyes and clenched his jaw before locking his eyes on me once again. The raging anger inside his eyes sent shivers down to my spine.

With that one look from him, I know now...

We're finally coming to an end.

"I regret meeting you, Keanna. I wish never did," he said with conviction before storming out of the room.

My heart finally burnt down into ashes when he took back the words he told me last night. He said he would never regret meeting me, but I guess everything really changes.