Poisonous Love (Keanna & Gavin Story)

Chapter 20

The lucky gold digger girlfriend of Gavin Alcantara.

That's the phrase the people around us used to describe me whenever they were given the knowledge that I was no heiress of any company here in the country and I was just an ordinary citizen who's striving so hard to be a part of her man's world. It was very exhausting for me as I tried proving myself a lot of times, but they still saw me as the girl who's trying too leech on Gavin.

I've been fighting this heavy feeling inside me and trying to get it off my chest, but I couldn't. It's been going on and on for over a year already. Hindi man lang ito gumaan kundi mas lalo lamang bumigat.

Ayoko na.

Lagi siyang sumasagi sa isipan ko ngunit hindi ko magawang bumitaw ng tuluyan dahil mahal na mahal ko siya. I always asked myself, how can I let go of the man I love when he's also holding on to me? I couldn't find any reasonable answer, so, in the end, I wouldn't do it and stay beside him once again. I'll just endure the pain and eloquent criticisms the people around us had for me. However, because of my love for him, I never noticed how I was making myself a slave of pain whenever I chose to stay with him. Unti-unti na akong nagbabago at pakiramdam ko'y mas lalo ko lang pinananaig ang pag-iisip nila tungkol sa akin.

Nawawala na ang pagmamahal ko sa sarili ko na ikinakatakot ko. Dapat kapag nagmahal ka ng ibang tao ay hindi dapat mawawala ang pagmamahal mo sa sarili mo. Because once you stopped loving yourself, you'd eventually forget your worth.

Ngayon muli ko nang napaalala sa sarili ko kung sino ako at kung ano ang nararapat sa akin, buo na ang aking loob sa naisip kong desisyon. Alam kong hindi lang para sa akin ang desisyon na ito kundi para na rin sa kanya. Hindi siya ang nararapat sa akin at hindi ako ang nararapat sa kanya. Nakakapanghinayang lang dahil sayang ang pagmamahal naming dalawa gayong hindi naman kami para sa isa't-isa.

I hoped that one day, if ever I became successful, I can still come back to him and he'll still accept me. I just hoped that his feelings wouldn't change. But if he would, I'd gladly accept the consequences of my decisions.

"Saan ba tayo pupunta?" tanong ko kay Gavin nang diretso lamang siya sa pagmamaneho habang ang isang kamay ay mahigpit na nakahawak sa akin.

Last night, after it was formally announced that he would take over their company, he told me he'd pick me up the next morning to go on a trip. Hindi nga lang niya sinabi sa akin kung saan. He said it was a secret. Basta ang sabi niya lang ay kailangan kong mag-empake ng damit na pang tatlong araw at iyon nga ang ginawa ko.

I agreed to come on this trip even when I've already decided on a very important decision . After this trip, I'll finally tell him what's going on inside my mind.

"I told you it's a secret." The smile on his face wouldn't wash away.

Kanina pa siyang ngiting-ngiti mula noong sinundo niya ako kanina sa apartment. Bahagya akong tumagilid upang mapanood ko siya ng maayos. Hindi ko mapigilan ang pagkirot ng aking puso habang naglalandas ang aking mga mata sa kanyang labi.

Can I really do it?

Pakiramdam ko ay hindi ko kaya ang saktan siya hindi lang dahil alam kong mas malala ang balik nitong sakit sa akin kundi sa kadahilanan na hindi ko kayang burahin ang mga ngiti sa kanyang labi. I wanted him to stay happy even without me because that's how it should be.

"Everytime you watch me drive, I couldn't help but to be distracted," he suddenly said and glanced at me.

Iniwas ko naman ang aking tingin sa kanya at hindi ko mapigilan ang mapangiti. "Hindi na ako titingin," sabi ko na lang.

"Hindi ko alam kung ayaw ko bang tingnan ko ako," sabi niya. "I want your eyes on mem I'm confuses. Hmmm... May be you can glance at me sometimes. Just don't stare so I can drive properly."

Kung ano ang gusto niya ay ganoon ang ginawa ko. Kaya nga lang ay sobrang dalas ng aking pagsulyap sa kanya at natatawa na lang siya sa akin. I just really wanted to cherish the moment and make the most out of it by looking at his face—praying that I wouldn't miss it that much.

Dahil sa haba ng biyahe, pagkatapos magstop-over para kumain ng lunch ay nakatulog ako. Gavin only woke me up when we've already arrive.

The wind blew and kissed my skin when I went out of the car. I could hear the faint sound crashing waves from a far. I didn't know where we were, but I liked it already because of the presence of the sea.

"Nasaan tayo?" tanong ko kay Gavin nang maramdaman ko ang kanyang yakap galing sa aking likuran.

He rested his chin on the top of my head and hugged me tighter. He successfully made me feel warm even with the presence of the cold wind.

"We're in La Union..." he finally answered me.

Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa mansyon sa aming harapan. The mansion's bigger than their rest house in Pagudpod. I bet this is one of their properties.

"Sa inyo rin 'to?" tanong ko sa kanya.

He breathes and I felt him nodded. "This is my grandparent's property," he said. "They distributed their properties to their children, and this is one of the properties my father has inherited from them."

Bumitaw siya sa pagkakayakap sa akin at saka hinawakan ang aking kamay. Iginaya niya ako papasok sa loob ng magarang mansyon. It had a Spanish style architecture that made it look somehow ancient and classic. There were also a lot of antiques displayed inside.

If burglars will break into this mansion, they'll be instant millionaires just for one antique figurine this property holds. Muli tuloy akong napaisip kung paano napansin ni Gavin ang isang katulad ko kung sanay siyang makakita ng ganitong kaganda at kaimportanteng mga bagay.

"I'll lead you to your room," Gavin told me while I was too preoccupied with observing the antiques.

Nilingon ko siya at ngumiti bago sumunod sa kanya paakyat sa ikalawang palapag ng masyon. Binuksan niya ang pintuan ng pangalawang kuwarto sa kaliwang bahagi. Malaki ito at malinis. Mukhang lagi rin itong nililinis ng mga nangangalaga.

"This will be your room," he said and placed my duffel bag on the top of the king-sized bed.

His hand rested on his hips while he quickly scanned the whole room before locking his eyes on mine.

"Ayos ka na ba rito?" tanong niya sa akin.

Tumango ako at saka umupo sa kama. "Talaga bang tatlong araw tayo rito?" tanong ko sa kanya.

"We'll we have ine week vacation before our graduation practice starts. Let's make the most out of it." He sat beside me and casually rested his head on my shoulder.

I turned to him and pouted my lips when I saw him looked sl tired and weary. I combed his deshieveled hair using my fingers and smiled when he closed his eyes because ny touch was making him sleepy. My Gavin looked sleepy and tired.

"Magpahinga ka na muna," malambing kong sabi sa kanya. "Mukhang pagod na pagod ka sa biyahe."

Bigla niyang idinilat ang kanyang mga mata saka umayos ng pagkakaupo. "Hindi pa ako pagod," pagtanggi niya at tumayo. "Mag-go-grocery tayo ngayon para sa kakainin natin habang nandito tayo. There's no food in the fridge. Matagal nang walang pumupunta rito."

"Pwede naman bukas ng umaga na lang para makapagpahinga ka na. May nadaanan naman tayong public market. Doon na lang tayo mamili para mas mura," sabi ko sa kanya.

"Hmmm... If that's what you want to do," pumayag na rin siya.

Gavin went to his room after kissing me goodnight on my forehead, while I remained staring on the ceiling and thinking of the possible consequences of my plan. Pero sa ngayon ay isasantabi ko muna ang lahat at hahayaan ang sarili kong maging masaya sa piling niya sa huling mga araw na natitira sa aming bakasyon at pati na rin ng aming relasyon.

Hindi nagtagal ay nakatugan ko rin ang pag-iisip. Parehas kaming maagang nagising ni Gavin kinabukasan dahil maaga kaming nagpahinga. Around five in the morning, we were already on our way to the public market. We bought enough foods that would last for three days.

Pagkabalik namin sa bahay ay nagtulungan kaming dalawa sa pagluluto ng breakfast para makakain ng umagahan bago tumungo sa dalampasigan upang simulang gawin ang mga plano ni Gavin.

Kakatapak ko pa lang sa buhangin ay agad ko nang napagkumpara ito sa ganda ng aming dagat sa aming probinsya. Still, nothing beats the beauty of my hometown's wondrous beach. It was incomparable. Ngunit kahit na ganoon ay hindi ko mapigilan ang mapangiti lalo na nang abutin ng munting alon ang aking mga paa na nakatapak sa buhangin.

Gavin's hand suddenly slipped into my hand and intertwined our fingers. I turned to him with a smile, and my heart broke when I saw him mirroring mine but I didn't let it show.

"Let's go?" pag-aya niya sa akin.

Tumango ako at mas humigpit ang kanyang pagkakahawak sa aking kamay. Saka ko lang napansin ang yateng naka-abang sa amin nang dinala niya ako papalapit doon. I was too immersed with the sea that I failed to notice the minor details.

The captain who will drive the yatch was waiting for us at the deck. I've learned that he was a family friend of the Alcantara's and Gavin's treating him like an uncle.

"I told you before that you should learn how to manipulated a yatch already," natatawa niyang sabi kay Gavin habang kalmado kaming naglalayag sa gitna ng malawak at tahimik na dagat.

"I have to seek yet my father's permission about it, Tito," Gavin answered. "And besides, I have no spare time. I was busy studying and helping the company."

Ngumiti ako habang sinasalubong ko ang preskong hangin at pinapakinggan ang bawat paghampas ng alon. Hinayaan ko ang braso ni Gavin na nakapulupot sa aking baywang at nakaharap sa Kapitan habang ako naman ay nakahawak sa barandilya at tinatanaw ang mga karatig na isla.

"For sure Bryson won't stop you. You're a fast learner, Gavin. I bet you can learn it in no time," he said without hesitation. "Ferdie managed to learn it perfectly in two weeks."

"I'll try after graduation, Tito," sabi na lang ni Gavin.

"Looking forward to that," The Captain said as he laughed with his low baritone.

Hindi rin nagtagal ay bumalik na ang Kapitan sa loob upang patayin ang makina ng yate at makalangoy na kami. Sumulyap ako sa dagat at kahit na nasa malalim na parte na kami ay halos kita ko pa rin ang mga koral at isdang lumalangoy sa ilalim. Sa sobrang linis at linaw ng tubig-dagat ay mas nakakaengganyong lumangoy at sumisid.

"You wanna swim already?" Gavin asked me as he started to unbutton his white polo.

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin sa kanya at tumango. I've seen him topless countless of times everytime we go swimming or whenever I accompany him to the gym, but I still wasn't confident enough to stare at his prefectly sculpted body.

"I'll wait for you," he said before setting himself free to the sea.

Tinungo ko muna ang sun lounger kung saan nakalapag ang aming mga tuwalya at nakapa-ibabaw roon ang GoPro ni Gavin. Hinubad ko ang aking sarong at pati na rin ang aking pang-ibabaw. I was only wearing my black stringed bikini.

Kinuha ko ang GoPro sa ibabaw ng tuwalya bago sumunod kay Gavin pababa sa dagat. My forehead creased when I didn'y see him near the yatch where he jump off. Just when I was about to look for him under the sea, I slightly screamed when I felt someone's hands snake on my waist, but when I realized who it was, I remained still and lwt him be more possessive of me.

I heard Gavin's manly chuckle as he took a deep breath for staying too long under the water.

"Naiwan mo 'yong GoPro mo sa taas," sabi ko sa kanya at pinakita ang GoPro niyang hawak ko.

"Let's take a picture," he said and reached for my hand.

He took the GoPro from me and raise his hand to get the right angle. His chin rested on my shoulder as I looked at the gadget and smiled. Hindi pa siya nakuntento sa ayos naming dalawa at mas lalo niya pa akong idinikit sa kanyang katawan upang maging madali ang kanyang paghalik sa aking pisngi.

I was too stunned with his sudden move that I bet I looked ugly in the recent picture he took where his lips planted a kiss on my cheek.

"Ang pangit ko ata sa picture!" pag-angal ko sa kanya at saka bahagyang tinampal ang kanyang matipunong braso.

He smiled at me. "You're never ugly."

"Nambobola ka lang. Basketball player ka nga." sabi ko at kinagat ang aking labi upang pigilan ang sarili na humalakhak.

Winisikan ko siya ng tubig-dagat at natawa ako nang nasapul nito ang kanyang mukha at napapikit siya nang dahil doon. Didilat pa lamang siya ulit ay muli ko siyang winisikan pero agad niyang nagamit ang kanyang braso bilang pangsangga.

"Stop it, baby," natatawa niyang pagsuway sa akin.

His eyes remained close while his arms were still covering his face. I tried to find the opening to his face and splashed it with seawater once more while laughing at him looking so helpless, trying to defend himself from his brutal girlfriend.

Nang hindi niya makayanan ang pagiging agresibo ko ay mabilis niyang nahawakan ang aking mga kamay. Tumama pa sa akin ang GoPro na nakasabit sa kanyang palapulsuhan.

"Let go, Gavin," I told him, still laughing.

"Ayoko," maagap niyang sabi.

Parang may humaplos sa aking puso nang tanggihan niya ang aking pakiusap na bitawan niya ako. Hindi ko alam kung bakit masyadong tumagos sa aking puso ang kanyang pag-ayaw.

"Hindi na kita pipisikan ng tubig... Pangako..." mahinahon kong sabi sa kanya.

Swayed with my promise, he slowly let go of my arm before pushing me back to him. My breast was slightly squeezed on his broad chest, and I felt his warmth spread all over my body. He kissed me on my forehead before he released a sigh.

"I'll never let go of you," he whispered on my ear.

You won't... but you have to.