Fantasizing a BBC

BBC Chapter 36

"Debbie..."

"Debbieee..."

Nagising bigla ang aking katinuan ng marinig kong may tumatawag sa akin. Kaagad kong naitulak palayo si Peter. Nagpalinga linga ako at napansin kung kumakaway si Hardy sa akin. Nakasakay pa rin ito sa balsa malapit lang sa aming pwesto. Mag-isa na lang ito at wala ang dalawang babae. Nanghihingi ito ng tubig. Kahit malayo ay matalim ang tingin nito sa akin. Bakit kaya ang sama ng tingin niya eh wala naman akong ginagawang mali?

Dali dali akong kumuha ng tubig at naglakad na papunta kay Hardy. Iniwanan ko na si Peter. Muntik na ako doon. Nakakahiya at dito pa talaga sana kami maghahalikan sa talon kung saan may ibang tao. Sa sunod na hahalikan ako ni Peter hindi na ako magpapakipot pero dapat sa tagong lugar. Mahirap na mavideohan pa ako at mag viral. May career pa naman akong pinapangalagaan. Baka ang akala ni Peter ay alalay lang talaga ako ni Hardy.

Pagkaabot ko nang tubig kay Hardy ay tumalikod na ako para bumalik sa pwesto ko.

"Debbie, come. Join me." parang utos ang dating ni Hardy na samahan ko siya.

"Where's your companion?" Hindi pa rin ako sumasampa sa balsa.

"It's a girl thing, that's what they told me. The guy with us accompany them to some house nearby that's why I'm alone." paliwanag nito.

Gustong tumikwas ng kilay ko. So iniwanan pala siya ng dalawa kaya gusto niya munang may kasama. Substitute lang pala ako. Sarap talaga piktusan nitong ne**rong 'to. Nagmomoment pa kami ni Peter eh.

"Hey, don't yo wanna come here in the raft? Do yo want to be with that guy so much!"

"So what if I want to be with Peter. He's cool." ikaw nga dala-dalawa ang babae hindi nga ako nagrereact tapos ngayon ayaw mo magkasama kami ni Peter. Gusto ko sanang idugtong.

"Okay. No need. Yo can go back him now. I'll just wait for those two." tampo kaagad ang lolo niyo.

"Ito naman, tampo kaagad. Okay I'll join you. Bring the raft on this side so I can get in." iminuwestra ko na sa kanya na igilid pa lalo ang balsa para makasampa ako.

"What?! You're murmuring again words that I cannot understand."

"You want to know what I say?" sumampa na ako sa balsa.

Inalalayan ako nito para hindi ako malaglag.

"Thanks."

Tumango lang ito.

Ito ang nagmamaniobra ng balsa gamit ang kawayan. Nagpaturo siguro 'to sa matandang lalaki na kasama nila kanina kung paano magmaniobra ng balsa. Alalay lang ang paggamit nito ng kawayan at sa gilid lang kami ng talon bumabaybay sa parte na walang mga tao.

"I said 'alright.. I'm coming, don't be upset'-- see.. Now you're upset again." inunahan ko na siya kasi mukhang nabadtrip na naman sa sinabi ko.

"Do I look like I'm upset?"

"Yup."

"Okay. I'm not upset."

"Okay."

Mahabang katahimikan. Napansin ko na parang tumigil na ang aming balsa. Nasa gilid kami ng isang malaking bato na hindi kita sa karamihan.

"Yo like him?"

"You mean Peter? Why can't you say his name. He's also black guy same like you but you acted indifferently towards him. Don't tell me.. Hhmm.. You're jea---forget what I say!" Hindi ko naituloy ang aking sasabihin. Bakit ba gano'n kaagad ang pumasok sa isip ko.

Erase! Erase! Impossible. Si Hardy magseselos. Duh! Kakasabi lang nga sa akin na tour guide lang ako.

"What is it? Am what? Continue what you're about to say."

"Nothing!"

"I really hate it when you said nothin'."

"See.. Now you're upset again."

"How could I not be. You're about to say somethin' but yo don't wanna f*ckin' tell me."

"Yeah, f*ck me. It's nothing! Period."

Kahit anong mangyari hindi ko talaga sasabihin sa kanya na baka nagseselos siya. Mamaya niyan masakal pa niya ako. Natatakpan pa naman kami ng malaking bato. Mukhang sinadya niya talaga para kung may gawin man siyang hindi kanais nais ay wala akong mahingan ng tulong.

"Fine! Fine! Okay if yo don't wanna say it."

Huminga itong malalim ng maka ilang beses at pagkatapos ay dahan dahan itong pumuwesto sa harap ko mismo.

Huminga ulit ito ng malalim. Tumingin ito sa akin ng diretso sa mata. Bigla ang pagkabog ng dibdib ko.

Nagtitigan kaming dalawa. Hindi ako nakatiis kaya nauna akong nagbaba ng tingin. Hindi ko alam kung anong gusto nitong mangyari.

"Do yo like that guy?" sa mahina nitong tinig.

Hindi ako nakasagot. Hindi ko inaasahan na gano'n ang itatanong niya.

Marahas ulit itong huminga sabay tingin sa kalangitan.

"Yo know what. When I was young.. like maybe f-fourteen or fifteen I had a girlfriend before.. l-lets say-- I mean exactly like you. Thin, slim, white, pretty and sweet. We're innocent then. One time, I went to her home and her parents was not there. We watch movies.. and then we eat and suddenly we found ourselves kissin' and makin' out. We decided to watch p*rn and after that we're also copying what they're doin'. It felt good at first.. "

Tumigil ito at huminga na naman ng malalim atsaka nagpatuloy.

"We didn't think it would end up like that. When I'm about to penetrate her, she couldn't handle my 'thing'. Still I force my way even if she's pleading already that she's hurt. One more thrust and suddenly she lost consciousness and was bleeding. The bleeding won't stop that I was panicking and I called my mom. My mom came and was horrified upon seeing us. She immediately called an ambulance and we brought my girlfriend to the hospital. It was a nightmare for me because my girlfriend's parents was furious for what happened to their daughter. They're about to sue me but my mom talked to them and I know for sure that my mom paid a hefty amount of money just for them to shut up. My girlfriend stayed 1 month in the hospital and after that she broke up with me. She said that she would die if we will do it again. I mean we will do s*x again. So I distance myself to skinny girls after that."

Tumingin ito sa akin. Blangko lang ang ekspresyon ng mukha ko.

So, ano naman ang connect ko?

Ang hina mo, Debbie. Hindi mo ba gets ang punto ni Hardy? Anang isip ko.

Hindi. Eh ex niya pinag-uusapan. Baka gusto lang niyang e-share. Makikinig lang ako. Sagot ko sa utak ko.

Bahala ka nga. Ang dense mo. Bakit kampi pa 'ata ang isip ko kay Hardy.

Huminga ulit ito at nagpatuloy na naman sa pagkuwento.

"After that, my preference for girls change. My girlfriends were curvy, sexy, voluptuous.. I mean they were big sizes. I thought that I wouldn't be attracted anymore to slim or petite ladies.. but I'm into it again with this girl during my college days. She's popular, hot--but slim and tall. One time at a friend's party, we we're introduced to each other and we hit off. The whole night we're inseparable. We make out but it's just kissin' and touchy feelin'.. no penetration 'coz I don't wanna leave a bad impression on her. I don't want her to think that I'm only after s*x, even though it's really what I want. Hahaha."

Himala, tumawa ang Hardy. Natawa sa kanyang mga s*xcapades noon.

"After the party we dated and she became my girlfriend. One weekend she invited me in their sweet abode 'coz her parents were on a holiday vacation. Time for some oh-lala-lovin' baby. So, I was really excited.. both of us were excited. When I got into their home she was wearin' a sexy lingerie. I was on fire and grabbed her and give doses of sweet kisses. We're about to do the deed and when I thrust inside her, she screams. I stopped 'coz I remember what happened to my ex-girlfriend before but she told me to continue... so I go on. When I tried to thrust again well.. it went inside but not well. The whole time she was screamin' and was also bleedin'. I was not satisfied. I felt guilty because again, instead of pleasure it's like a horrible experience for both of us. After that she was bedridden for two weeks. The same with what happened to my ex-girlfriend before, she broke up with me. I was depressed then and it gave me a 'lil bit of trauma. It take months for me to recover."

Tumingin na ito sa akin. Tapos na sigurong magkwento ng kanyang s*xperience.

"Did yo get my point?" kapagkuwan ay tanong nito.

Umiling ako.

"You're dense."

"W-what?!"

"Forget it!"

"Why did you say I'm dense?" ganyan din ang sinabi ng aking inner self. Hindi ko sila gets.

"I said forget it!" napalakas na sabi nito.

Hindi ko na pinansin si Hardy. Mas natuon ang isip ko kung bakit niya nasabi na dense ako. Hindi talaga ako makakatulog nito mamaya hangga’t hindi ko mahanap ang kasagutan sa aking tanong.

Nagmaniobra na ulit ito at binaybay na namin ang gilid ng talon pabalik sa aming pwesto. Nakita kong nakabalik na ang dalawang babaeng kasama ni Hardy pati na ang matandang lalaki. Kausap nila si Peter.

"He seems like nice guy. That's why yo like him."

Napansin siguro ni Hardy na nakatingin ako sa direksiyon nila Peter kaya akala niya gustong gusto ko si Peter.

Bahala siya mag-isip. Basta kailangan kong malaman kung bakit dense ako.