Breaking Through

Chapter 7

7

Hilary

The next morning, I woke up to a couple dozen missed calls and messages, all asking me where I was, if I was lost, if something had happened, until the last couple of messages when it was obvious Hannah and Bia had figured out I had lied to them and went straight home. Still, they wanted me to call or text them as soon as possible. Thank goodness I had my phone programmed to not ring during the night so it wouldn’t disturb my sleep.

At 7:30 a.m., I sent a text to Hannah and Bia, though if they really went out last night, I was sure they wouldn’t see the messages until much later.

I stood in the middle of my closet, searching for something to wear. Why was it suddenly so difficult to find something to wear? Later I would have lunch with my mother and Hannah and a bunch of other women at the club. I never had a problem choosing a pretty dress to wear then. What was the problem now?

I huffed. The problem was I had a pit stop. Gui planned to show me an apartment in his building. I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that I was worried about what I would wear to meet him. It was ridiculous. Totally insane.

I shouldn’t and I wouldn’t care what he thought of my clothing.

In the end, I decided to forget I was going to meet him and chose a simple dress and sandals, as if I was just going to the club instead.

At 8:30 a.m., I left my house and drove all the way to Santa Barbara. At least the club was right there; otherwise, this drive would have been crazy. From Gui’s building, I would go to the club, and from the club back to Los Angeles.

I arrived at ten in the morning in the guys’ building and found Gui on the sidewalk in front of the main entrance. He was wearing jeans and a dark blue polo that accentuated the vivid color of his eyes. He wasn’t wearing a baseball cap, which was unusual, and I noticed his dark brown hair was cut shorter on the back and sides, while on top it was still neatly unkempt. I knew that if it wasn’t for my panic attacks, and if we weren’t practically family, my heart would have beaten faster each time I saw him.

I parked my car half a block away—it was the only free spot around—and walked back. With a smile, he met me halfway.

“Bom dia,” he said.

“Morning,” I replied, smiling too. “Do you have the keys?”

He jingled them in his hand. “I do.”

“I confess, I’m curious about this apartment.”

“Then let’s end your curiosity.” Gui opened the front door of his building for me, guided me through the lobby, and pressed the elevator button, as if I didn’t know my way around. A low ding sounded overhead and one of the elevator’s doors opened. He gestured for me to go in first, then followed me, and pressed the button to the fifth floor.

He leaned on the mirrored wall at the back of the elevator. “So, you ditched us again last night.”

I grimaced. “Yeah. Sorry.”

He tsked. “You should say that to your sister and Bia. They were really pissed at you.”

“I know,” I whispered.

“But … you were all right, right? I mean, you just didn’t go because you didn’t want to, right? Nothing happened?”

One corner of my lips curled up. “Yeah, I was all right.”

He nodded. “Good.”

I forced myself to keep up with the small talk. “Did you guys have a good time?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“You guess?”

He lifted one eyebrow. “I might be going mad, but sometimes I think going out like that is getting a little old.”

I gasped to tease him. “What? Gui Fernandes is saying he’s tired of partying? No way!”

With a lopsided smile, he shook his head. “Shut up.”

Once in the hallway of the fifth floor, Gui turned right and stopped in front of apartment 503—there were six apartments per floor here, while on his floor, which was the last floor, there were only two.

“Here we go,” Gui said, opening the door for me.

We entered a living room, which opened to a small breakfast area and a small kitchen, imitating the guys’ apartment, but on a much smaller scale. The floor was hardwood throughout, and the walls were being painted a pale beige tone. There were paint cans, brushes, and low ladders in a corner, and the furniture was pushed together in the middle of the room, covered with blankets. There was no balcony, but I didn’t need one. It was easy to see that the kitchen had recently been upgraded, and the appliances and cabinets looked brand new. A hallway opened to the left, leading to a linen closet, a tiny laundry room with a new washing machine and dryer, a bathroom, one bedroom that was a small studio with a desk, chair, and sleeper sofa, and one suite with a queen bed, dresser, armchair, a small walk-in closet, and a nice attached bathroom.

Nothing much, but unlike every other apartment Bia and I looked at, I couldn’t see one thing wrong with this one. Could it be this easy?

“What’s the trick here?” I muttered.

“What did you say?” Gui asked.

“I’m just wondering … there must be something wrong with this apartment. Or maybe the building.” I turned to him. “What’s wrong with the building? Does the elevator break every week? The management doesn’t clean the hallways and lobby too often? The neighbors suck?”

Gui chuckled. “The neighbors are awesome,” he said, gesturing to himself. I shook my head with a smile. “Seriously, though, I can’t think of anything. Maybe the guys and I are more reserved than the other residents, but we don’t hear any loud noises or gossip. And they never complained about us and our parties either. As for the building per se, everything is always clean and the elevator has never stopped working once in the three years we live here.”

I glanced around the living room, trying to imagine my regular day if I lived here for three months. Me coming in the front door every afternoon, taking my shoes off, throwing my purse on the couch, going into the kitchen, fixing something to eat, maybe taking a warm shower, then lounging on the couch or the bed and watching some TV, or reading a nice book, or maybe drawing a little more. I liked it.

“It can’t be this easy.”

“You say that as if nothing was ever easy in your life,” Gui said, serious.

“It’s not that. It’s just … this is all happening too fast, and the pieces are all fitting so perfectly. Unfortunately, nothing in life is perfect.”

“Maybe things don’t need to be perfect, but just right for you.” Gui took a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to me. “Here. The name and phone number of the owner. Who knows? Maybe the price he’s asking for rent is absurd. There goes the perfection.”

I laughed, amused over how Gui could always make any situation less dire. “Thanks.” I picked up the paper and put it in my purse.

“When he left the keys, he mentioned that the repairs should be done by the middle of next week. Sooner than planned.”

“That’s … great.”

“Want more time, or did you see everything you needed?”

“I think I’m done here.”

Gui locked the door and walked to the elevator a few steps in front of me. His cell phone rang as the elevator doors opened. He picked his phone up to check, walking into the elevator with his eyes on the screen. I reached for the control panel, intent on pressing the lobby button since Gui was busy, but he did it too, and his fingers brushed against mine. A shock ran up my arm, warming my core.

I pulled away lightning fast. “Sorry,” I mumbled.

With a lopsided smile, he glanced at me. “It’s okay.”

It was okay, just it wasn’t. Suddenly, I became aware that the two of us were alone, trapped inside the elevator, even if only for a couple of seconds. He could change. He could become angry and violent. He could advance on me, hit me, kiss me by force. He could push me against the wall and—

Hands shaking, I let out a shuddering breath. No, no, no. I wouldn’t let my mind go there. Come on, this was Gui. Leo’s cousin. Leo, who was perfect and was marrying my perfect sister. Gui couldn’t be a bad guy. He just couldn’t.

I noticed Gui looking at me from the corner of his eyes, his forehead creased. Gosh, what was he thinking? Option one: What is the problem with this girl? Option two: I want to hurt her.

As soon as the elevator doors opened, I bolted and didn’t stop until I was on the sidewalk outside the building.

His hands in his jeans’ pockets, Gui caught up with me, though he must have sensed the war in me, the way the panic weaved through my system, because he kept at least five feet between us.

“T-thank you for showing me the apartment,” I said, my voice showing a hint of my instability.

“You’re welcome.”

“Bye.” I turned to leave and walked a couple of steps, concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other.

“Hil?”

I glanced over my shoulder. “Y-yeah?”

He stared at me for a moment. “Drive safe.”

I nodded and walked away. My feet screamed at me to run, to bolt, and to hide in my car before anyone saw me freaking out. Worst, before Gui saw me freaking out. But like a good girl, I took one step at a time, focusing on slowing my breathing and the hard beating of my heart.

I slipped inside my car and took a deep breath. I would have let it out, my panic, my fear, my cry, if it weren’t for Gui still standing in front of his building, watching my car.

Quickly, I closed my eyes and conjured happy images to my mind. Me, the apartment, a warm meal, a good book. And the internship a few blocks away. The perfect setting. The perfect life.

It worked. My heart rate didn’t go back to normal, but it didn’t hurt anymore each time my heart pumped against my ribs, and the shaking of my hands was almost gone.

Finally, I peeled away from the curb and merged with traffic, leaving Gui and my panic behind.

Having to stop my car by the side of the road or a gas station was becoming routine. Once again, I had to do that before driving to the club to meet Hannah, my mother, and some of her friends.

Lunch here always had the same rhythm. First, we all—around thirty women ranging from teens to high sixties—met at the balcony overseeing the tennis courts to have appetizers and drinks while engaging in small talk. About an hour later, we were ushered to the main dining room, to three long tables along the far back, where four floor-to-ceiling windows were always open, rain or shine, with a distant view of the main polo field. Here we were served several courses, slowly, then dessert and coffee. If there were a tournament underway, we would then make our way to the polo field. If there weren’t, we would walk out together. Some women stuck around to talk to other members or watch tennis matches, but most left.

This time, my mother wanted a seat at the balcony again to chat with another member. Hannah excused herself, saying she had to get back to the ranch before Jimmy made a mess of everything. When I tried coming up with an excuse, my mother cut me such a hard look, I shut my mouth, afraid she would disinherit me. So, I stayed seated beside them around one of the tables, inserting one ah or oh here and there, just so they thought I was paying attention to whatever they were saying.

Eloisa, one of my mother’s closest friends, looked past my mother and me and smiled. “Oh, here comes my son.”

Reese, the newest and youngest player of the Knight House, stepped onto the balcony. Instantly, the memory of him watching me at the engagement party invaded my mind, along with the memory that I had tried flirting with him and failed miserably. My cheeks flamed.

“Hi, Mother,” he said, kissing her on the cheek.

“Hi, dear. You remember Mrs. Taylor and her youngest daughter, Hilary, don’t you?”

He turned to my mother and me with a courteous grin. “Of course. Hello, Mrs. Taylor, hello, Hilary, how are you?”

“I’m doing quite all right, Reese,” my mother said with a wide smile. “Thank you. How are you?”

“Can’t complain,” Reese answered. Then his eyes turned to me. “I heard you got a summer internship here in Santa Barbara. I hope that means you will come to the club more often.”

I smiled, though internally I was cringing, wondering how the hell he already knew about my internship. Had my mother blabbed to the whole club? To the entire town and region perhaps? I didn’t doubt that.

“Yes, that would be lovely,” Eloisa said.

“We’ll see what my schedule will look like once I start.”

“Don’t worry,” my mother said. “I’ll make sure she comes more often.”

He flashed his smile at her. “I’ll count on that.”

I stared as my mother winked at him, and he gave her a thumbs up. What the hell?

Eloisa checked the time on her wristwatch. “Don’t you have practice soon, Reese?”

“Yes, ma’am.” He bowed to my mother and me. “It was good to see you, ladies.”

“You too, Reese,” my mother said.

“Excuse me,” he said, retreating a few steps with his eyes on mine, before turning around and walking from the balcony in the field’s direction.

“Isn’t he gorgeous, Hilary?” My mother patted my hand. “He’s wonderful, Eloisa. I can see you raised a fine boy.”

“Oh, thank you, Joyce.” Eloisa shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal. “I can say the same about your girls.”

I tuned them out as they exchanged silly pleasantries, and watched as Reese walked away, trying to decide what to think of this encounter. I took a deep breath, shutting down the tingling fear that always assaulted me whenever a guy showed interest in me or was close enough to do harm, and thought for a second. Reese was cute, and as a professional polo player, his physique was in top shape too. He seemed kind, polite, and into me. But was that enough? Enough to help me push back my fears so I could feel more for a guy? For him?

I wasn’t sure. I didn’t think I would ever be sure. I even had this nagging feeling that if Liam Hemsworth dropped in front of me from the sky, professing his undying love, I still wouldn’t be sure.

My mother started talking about Hannah’s upcoming wedding, of course, and Eloisa seemed interested in it. Bored and trying to find an excuse to leave, I looked over the club, not really searching for anything. Until my eyes crossed one of the paths going to the main parking lot and found Gui stepping out of his Jeep.

For some reason, the Fernandes boys didn’t like to dress up to come to the club, even though it was a rule imposed at every corner—except for them. Gui was wearing jeans, a polo shirt, and cowboy boots, and he carried a white and dark blue bag with the Montenegro logo on it. He walked with an easy gait, and still looked confident, masculine, and handsome.

I inhaled sharply as his eyes found mine, and one corner of his lips tugged up. My heart sped up, and I stifled a gasp when I realized it wasn’t from panic.

Despite my best efforts to remain impassive, I smiled at him. Until a shadow caught my sight, and I looked past him.

Lucas had just arrived too and was walking up the path a few feet behind Gui.

The smile faded from my lips. A knot appeared between Gui’s brows, and he looked over his shoulders. He halted upon seeing Lucas and waited until Lucas was right beside him to keep walking. They started chatting and Gui didn’t look at me again.

I focused on my mother and Eloisa. They were now discussing honeymoon options. My mother thought Hannah and Leo should do a classic trip through Europe, while Eloisa thought they should do something more exotic, like going to the Maldives or some other stunning beach.

Okay, I was done. After coming up with an acceptable excuse, I bid my mother and Eloisa good-bye and walked to the parking lot, eager to get away from here.

I was nearing my car, keys already in my hand, when someone called me.

“Hilary, wait.”

I turned around and saw Lucas jogging toward me. Images of the engagement party flashed in my mind and panic rushed through me. Clutching the keys, I stepped back, bumping into my car.

“H-hi, Lucas.”

My expression was probably of a scared woman, because he halted a good distance from me, his hand turned up as if in surrender.

“I just want to say I’m sorry.” He shook his head once. “I don’t remember anything about that night, but Gui and Malcolm told me what I did. I’m so, so sorry.”

My palm was wet around the car keys. “I-it’s okay now. Thanks for apologizing.”

“I know there’s no excuse for it, but I want you to know that I usually don’t drink that much. It’s just … my girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, had just broken up with me the day before, and I was … I wasn’t in the right state of mind. That mixed with too much alcohol …” He ran a hand through his hair. “Not good. I’m really sorry.”

I nodded. He was right. It was no excuse, but it made me feel a little better to know that he usually didn’t drink that much. Hopefully, he didn’t try to kiss every girl who crossed his path at parties and clubs.

“Okay,” I muttered, not sure what else to say.

“All right. Yeah. I just wanted to apologize.” He started turning around. “I need to go …” I nodded again and he waved at me. “Bye.”

Lucas jogged back to the club. Stunned and still a little shaky, I kept watching him and, in the distance, I saw Gui standing near the main polo field, watching me.