Collateral Damage |+18|

5. Why did you hire me?

Why did you hire me?

Defne.

Levi is waiting for me in my cubicle the next day, which for some reason doesn't surprise me. Amazingly, I manage to elude him for a few hours, but eventually he gets tired and in the middle of the morning comes to me again, without a second glance. I think I've gotten to know him well enough to know that he would put me at a crossroads because of what happened yesterday.

"Not here" I tell him, looking around and pointing out the obvious.

"Come" he takes my hand and drags me all the way down the hall, until he sneaks us into a small cleaning room. "Okay, get started".

"Was this necessary, Levi?" I say, pointing to the place.

"Matheo Slade has something for you."

"Levi..."

"And I'm sure he planned my murder in his head last night because he thought I was interested in you," he whispers, bringing his face close to mine. "Defne, do you know what rumors there will be if anyone finds out about this?"

"No one has to find out."

"The man seems to forget everything when it comes to you. What happened yesterday," he points out, "how he so delicately prevented me from taking you home, not caring about giving himself away to me, is a sign that this is out of control, Defne."

"What am I supposed to do?" I whisper back, swallowing the lump in my throat, because this is worse than he thinks. Matheo Slade is not only my boss, he's also the man my father wants to destroy. And if rumors about us reach his ears, it will only give him more ammunition to continue using me at his whim.

"If this goes wrong, Matheo has all the power to sink your career, Def, you know that?"

"He wouldn't do anything to..."

"You don't know him, not really."

The worst thing is that I know that, I know that with a snap of his fingers he could wipe out everything I've accomplished so far. But how the hell do I get out of this? Giving up is not an option and resisting this magnetic force that is growing more and more between us, is something I can't seem to accomplish. As much as I try to remind myself that I hate him, that this enmity between us has a solid foundation, the man touches me and I forget all the reasons why I shouldn't give in.

"Please don't tell anyone about last night" I ask, pleading with my eyes fixed on his.

"Of course not, but you have to be careful, Defne" he reminds me. "I have years working here and Matheo Slade has been nothing but a robotic man who keeps everyone a hundred meters away. This weakness he has for you? It shows, Defne, it shows in a way you won't be able to hide."

We both share a long look until Levi sighs and says to me in an incredibly soft voice: "Be careful, I'd hate to see you heartbroken, Defne."

"Why are you like this with me? I'm not the friendliest person in the world. In fact, I think I've been quite prickly with you."

"You remind me of someone," he says fondly, "and you're undoubtedly a good person, reserved, but good. And before you ask, no" he smiles sideways, almost mockingly as he adds: "I'm not interested in you, much less after last night. I'm not suicidal, honey, I don't want to have Matheo Slade as an enemy. But I've got your back, okay? If you need anything, I'm here."

I squeeze his hand in appreciation and finally understand what Kass sees in him to keep him around. Beneath that ego, Levi is loyal and protective, qualities I value and make me feel supported in the mess my life has become.

Opening the door, Levi lets me out first and such is my luck - our luck - that I collide with a hard chest I recognize immediately. His smell I wouldn't forget, I think it has already permeated me, invading me from the inside.

"I was looking for you" he says softly and I detect a hint of what might be concern in his voice. Then he sees Levi step out behind me and his face transforms into a mask so cold it could rival the North Pole. It's so volatile it unnerves me.

I swallow saliva and take a step away, needing space from all the emotions flooding me. Since he entered my life, I've had a tumult of emotions I haven't felt before. It's as if my orbit has gone out of control and I'm living without gravity, because now a new center has settled in and that center is him, pushing and pulling me against my will.

Matheo looks from Levi to me with such lethality that it takes my breath away and even more so when he growls a: "Follow me."

I look around, thankful that we are alone and, with no other choice, I follow him, leaving Levi behind me.

As soon as I enter his office, closing it softly behind me, Matheo turns to look at me and pins me in my seat with that piercing gaze that could bring the mightiest kings to their knees.

"The typography and pantone of the designs you sent me first thing in the morning are not correct."

Wait...

"What?"

"I'm not going to repeat myself, Defne."

"But..." I look at you, confused. "I..."

"I understand that this is your first time working in a company, but, damn it, Defne, you can't just do whatever you want...." I shudder at the abruptness with which he speaks to me. "The clients gave you the freedom to make some changes, but a design had already been approved and you did the exact opposite of what had already been established."

"No..."

"If you wanted to change everything, you had to ask your superiors for approval first, not do whatever you were given the freedom to...."

"I did exactly what Scarlett asked me to do," I tell him, raising my voice so he can hear me. "She was the one who got the client's approval for the last concepts that were needed. I did what I was asked to do, nothing more."

"Do you expect me to believe this is Scarlett's fault?" He asks, a cocky little smirk in his voice. "She's been working on my team for years and so far she hasn't had a single mistake of this kind. You are..."

"New? Young? Inexperienced? Incompetent in your eyes?" I say what I know he's thinking. "If that's true, then why did you hire me?"

"I don't know," he admits in a thick voice, "And don't you think I ask myself the same question every day? Why the hell did I hire you? I'm sure I had a little mental lapse at the time, because you are undoubtedly perfect on paper, but a disaster in person."

I physically recoil, flinching at his words.

I look away, refusing to let him see me stab at what he has said.

"Perfect on paper?" I almost laugh, repeating his words. "What is that supposed to mean? Nobody's perfect, Matheo Slade, not even you."

"Are you sure about that?" He asks with an almost cruel tone in his voice. "Because I could swear my life was perfect until you walked through that damn door."

"You're the one who comes up to me and won't leave me alone" I remind him. "Do you think I want to have you around? You? Someone who has made it clear by all means how much he despises me?"

He runs his teeth across his lower lip hard, looking at me in an almost predatory way, as if my words have set his anger on fire even more.

"And who do you want around, Defne?" He takes a step towards me. "Levi? Because he's the one I saw coming out after you in that little cleaning room, wasn't it?"

"What are you insinuating?"

"I warned you about the no fraternization rule in my company."

"You're a f*****g hypocrite and don't you dare touch me" I growl at him, warning him as he corners me against the wall.

"What were you doing with him in that room?"

I answer nothing.

"Defne" he rests his forearms on either side of my face, watching me closely with crushing rage in his eyes. "Answer."

"If I tell you we f**k, will you finally fire me?"

His eyes darken until they are almost black and I can swear I have never seen greater rage as there is in his gaze. This man could unleash the apocalypse itself if he wanted to and he would do it with one look from his eyes, that's how piercing they are.

As he lowers his eyelids and takes a deep breath, I watch how much he is controlling himself from opening that door and going straight for Levi. I see it in all of him, I read him so easily that it scares me how easily I understand him.

"Defne, I swear to God...." he growls and his hands ball into fists at my sides, clenching them so hard his knuckles lose color, turning white as the very wall he leans against.

"f**k it" I whisper to myself, pushing my tears away hard because I'm not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry, so, controlling my voice, I wait for him to look me in the eyes before blurting out the words: "I quit."

And slipping under his arm, I slip out of there, slamming the door loudly.

[...]

When I am printing my resignation letter, Scarlett calls me to her office, so I take the opportunity and bring the printed sheet. As soon as I walk in and she sees the paper in my hand, she denies and asks me to sit down with a subtle wave of her hand.

"I know I should take this to human resources first, but you are my superior and...."

"I'm not going to accept that resignation, Defne."

"How do you know I'm going to resign?"

"Matheo had a meeting with me and asked me for explanations about the advance you delivered today" she sighs and for the first time I see in her eyes something more than cold control; there is remorse. "I assumed the mistakes you made, it was my fault."

I stand still, looking at her dumbfounded.

"I know it's no excuse" she continues, "but my daughter had a little accident at school that day and when they called me to tell me about it, I was about to give you the instructions to start your work. I got confused, something that had never happened to me before, but I was stressed, worried and a second away from having a mental breakdown. I gave you directions from other clients. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry until now I realized, I don't know what came over me."

"I..."

"You have potential, Defne," she says, nodding her head at me.

"You're very good and I want to have you on my team."

"But I..."

"I won't accept your resignation" she stretches out her hand for me to hand her the paper and I watch as she tears it up before my eyes. "Go on, keep working."

"You don't understand, I..."

"I don't care what problems you have with Matheo, but I want you to remember that you answer to me first. And I'm telling you that I don't accept your resignation."

"But Mr. Slade..."

"The design area is mine, Matheo has never interfered in my area until you. And he doesn't have to, he's a systems engineer and the best programmer there is, not counting the other degrees he has, but he's not a graphic designer. So skip everything you've discussed with him because the only thing you should care about is my opinion and I'm telling you that you are very talented. Believe it, because I won't let you go to another company. Now go, you have a lot to do."

I suppress the smile I want to expose and nod, leaving with a low thank you that I feel down to my bones.

When I get to my desk, an email is waiting for me from Matheo Slade asking me to come to his office urgently. Without questioning it for a second, I delete the email and continue with my work.

Because I'm done with him.