Collateral Damage |+18|

This is not the bathroom. Defne. In a parallel life, where my life circumstances were different, I would never do this. And there are many reasons for not wanting to do what I am about to do. First, but not most important, I never wanted to work for anyone. Which irrevocably brings me to the second, this stupid job keeps me away from what I really want which is to develop my own business. Third, and for me the most important point, this sinks me deeper into my father's clutches. Which brings me to the fourth and most momentous event in my life; I am still unable to decide about my mother's life. Moving my hands down the dress I'm wearing, trying to fix the wrinkles that don't want to go away, I raise my gaze in front of the huge, imposing building. I feel myself trembling inside, the emotions that invade me are rage, uncertainty and a fear so disastrous that for a moment I feel my legs unsteady. I am risking a lot by doing this, I am risking my career, my reputation and my dreams. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. In that parallel life, I imagine I would have a different father. A father who would care about me, a father who would be attentive, loving, who would strive to make my life easier. Not one who has come too many times close to ruining it for me. I lurch forward when someone bumps into me, knocking my purse to the floor. I scowl at the body walking past me, catching a glimpse of a boy shouting over his shoulder: "I'm late!" And the jerk continues on his way, walking into the building that will be my usual place from now on. I mutter curses under my breath as I pick up my bag. Those curses become real and very loud curses when I notice the wetness that has picked up my cloth bag, soiling the papers inside. Really, really, really, really.... couldn't I start the day in a better way? Pushing the bag away from me as I save what's left of the paperwork I had to sign with a thousand clauses that my lawyer would entertain himself with -if i had one-, I stumble into the building. I feel caged in this tight dress and I think the awkwardness shows as the security guards stare at me, I think inwardly mocking the awkward, awkward girl who doesn't seem to know where she is. Oh, but I know. I know where I am. Unfortunately. Ignoring the stares, once in there, I use the building's security system access card to head straight for the elevator. Heading straight to the creative floor, I'm surprised to find Kacey waiting for me with a big smile on her face. "Hi" I greet her smiling because she has been nice to me from the beginning. "Am I late?" "No, no" she denies. "I was waiting for you". She beckons me to follow her and I go behind her, observing the different cubicles where several people are already starting their working day. I had already had a little introduction to my duties and the location of the place, but having her here takes away some of the nerves I've had since I woke up. "Should you be here?" I ask, as she is the assistant to the president, I don't think accompanying web designers on their first day of work is one of her duties. Kacey gives me a nonchalant wave of her hand and says, "Mr. Slade won't even notice my absence, I just wanted to take you straight to your cubicle and welcome you". "Thank you" I whisper in genuine gratitude, then I remember "Do you have a copy of the last clauses of my contract?" I tell her, blushing a little when I show her the wet papers I ruined a few moments ago. "Ouch" she looks a little worried, but then pushes the feeling away with one hand. "Okay, I must have a copy. I'll call you later in the day to give them to you again and fix the signatures". She is an angel. After leading me to my cubicle, she gives me a few recommendations, reminds me to stay out of the design director's way, and earnestly asks me to wait for her for lunch. She seems to want to take me under her wing and I don't object. God knows I have no idea what I'm doing. Minutes after she leaves and as I'm about to start my work, I hear a knock next to my cubicle, then a blonde head peeks overhead. Uh, perfect, the jerk who almost knocked me over and didn't even apologize. "Are you the new girl?" I ignore him and instead concentrate on getting out my colored post-its, pens and other necessary materials. I always feel his gaze on me. After five minutes where I don't deign to answer him, I look back up to find him smiling at me. "You almost knocked me down in the doorway". "I didn't see you" he says, shrugging his shoulders. "You didn't even apologize". "My apology wouldn't have solved anything". I reach into my purse for a stick of gum and pop it into my mouth, chewing it hard to keep from wiping his smile off his fist. "Beat it". He laughs, but with a wink he says, "I'll expect you for lunch". Urgh, i***t. On my first morning working for Slade Enterprise, I am assigned the website for a prominent aviation company and am pleasantly surprised to find the task not so tedious. It's not the fact that I don't like what I do, it's the fact that I don't want to do it under the circumstances. I thought that at twenty-three my life would be different, I never imagined that I would still be dancing to my father's tune, fulfilling his whims under threats that I can't get rid of. I shake the bitterness from me and grunt when Levi, the jerk working next to me, slips his arm around my shoulders, walking towards a smiling Kacey waiting for us in the elevator. "How's your first day going?" She asks, smiling at me. "Fine," I say, elbowing Levi in the gut. He lets go of me, cursing under his breath. I let go as Kacey wraps her arm around me, leading me toward the restaurant wing. "We eat lunch here every day, you can buy your lunch here and they deduct it from your pay or you can bring it from home and heat it up in the microwave area, whichever you prefer". "You can also go out to one of the restaurants nearby, but I don't recommend it," says Levi on my other side, "They are always too crowded and it will take you longer than you think. You'll lose all your rest there". "I guess I'll shop here" I say, because daily cooking is not an option, not when I don't know much about it. "Honey, smile" Levi tells me "You don't seem happy with this job, and do you know what a great opportunity you're being given?" "I'm just nervous" I excuse myself. I take a new card Kacey gives me for lunches and the three of us go to the buffet, each indicating what we want. Aside from the resentment I feel about my situation, the company is so well suited to the needs of its employees that I can understand the good working atmosphere. Well done, Matheo Slade, keep your employees happy and the more efficient they will be. The man is smart, but I already knew that. Not just anyone prospers with their company so quickly, becoming one of the most emerging companies of the decade, beating my father's which is almost half a century ahead. "That's Scarlett," Kacey tells me quietly, pointing to a stunning brunette. "Our director?" I ask, pointing between Levi and me. "Yes, she is" it is Levi who answers. "Beautiful, but poisonous". I smile a little at his words, but Kacey pats him on the head, almost in a motherly way, kind of funny since I can swear they are the same age. "Don't say it, if she hears you, she'll gouge your eyes out". "She's yards away, Kass". "Best not to risk it, you know what they say…" "What do they say?" I ask, curious. "They think you have a relationship with Mr. Slade". "It's not true" it's Levi who denies it. "He always takes her to company events" says Kacey in a whispering voice. "He doesn't take her, she just sticks with him at all the events, but they have never been seen arriving or leaving together". Kacey whispers: "She's the only female companion he's been seen with in years". "She's his partner," Levi refutes, waving a French fry in front of her face. "And if it's about the female companionship he has, then you, my dear Kacey, would be his mistress, because you spend more time with him than Scarlett". Kacey pales, her eyes wide in shock: "Are there those kinds of rumors in the hallways?" "No," Levi tells her, then whispers only to me: "There are". "Levi!" Kacey growls, "Don't play that game, Mr. Slade has been nothing but professional with me. Besides, I'm happily engaged, thank you". "I was playing, that man has a spotless reputation, there is not a single stain in his life" Levi continues whispering to me as if it were a good gossip. "He has never been heard of a scandal and his social life consists of sporadic outings to bars with his partner and best friend, where he is not even seen drinking alcohol, only virgin drinks or simple and boring soda. That's why I'm absolutely sure he has nothing with Scarlett. He's the kind of guy who doesn't s**t where he eats, he would never cross the professional line with a female employee". "Is he that strict?" I ask, taking a sip of my tea. Levi looks at Kacey, inviting her to speak as she knows him best since she works directly with him. "I hate you for doing this to me," she growls at him, then looks at me and says, "He's my boss, so you won't hear me say this a second time. But yes, the man has impeccable morals, so much so that I don't even think I've ever heard him curse. He is a faithful follower of the rules and I think you should suspect that after all the clauses you signed in the contract. At the slightest infraction someone commits, he fires them and doesn't give a second chance. No one". "So, if you want to keep your job, my dear Defne" Levi looks at me. "Don't make a single mistake. Not a single one". I suppress a smile at the drama in his voice, but manage to say: "I'll keep that in mind". [...] Nearing three o'clock in the afternoon and still in the same web design of the aviation company, I can't take it anymore. I release my hair from the tight bun I'm wearing, letting the curls fall down my back. I hear Levi whistling under my breath, but I ignore him and sip water as I try to shake off the suffocation the dress is causing me. One of the many clauses in the contract, was the prudent and impeccable attire that office employees were required to wear, but since it's a cubicle where I'm located, I'll be flexible in that area. I grunt, desperate as I prudently rip the side of my dress, trying to give myself more mobility. I swear to God, my legs have never been closer together. Just as I feel like my skin is about to pop off my body, I get a text from Kacey asking me to come upstairs to sign the last few clauses I'd screwed up. As the elevator doors open on the top floor, I collide-damn it, not again-with someone. "What the hell?" I growl at the woman in front of me, spilling hot coffee on my chest from our collision. Shit. Shit. Shit. No coffee. Everything but coffee. I feel myself start to hyperventilate and I move quickly, bypassing her and my mind belatedly connecting her face to identify Scarlett, my superior. But no matter, I have to get rid of this dress, now. I walk quickly down the hallway, ignoring her indignant shouts as I look for a bathroom, that's when I see Kacey running towards me. I open my mouth, but she interrupts me: "Wait for me in my office, I have to take these papers urgently to human resources". "Bathroom?" I ask in a cracked voice. "Down the hall, second door!" She shouts over her shoulder, running towards the elevator. I run over and open the door she pointed out to me, the one on the left hand side. As soon as the door closes behind me, I don't even notice the inside of the place, I just start to pull the dress over my head, needing to get rid of it. Then I hear a furious: "What the f**k are you doing?" Deep gray eyes stare at me and my half-naked body. He looks like he wants to kill me. Shit. This is not the bathroom.