A mother for a Luna (#3 of the Spike pack)

Febraury 6th, 2021

I was walking back home. Sighing deeply, as I felt how sore my muscles felt and how tired I actually was. Today was my first day back on the job. I had taken two weeks off, to be able to take care of my sister and the newborn baby. But s**t… taking care of one baby was hard, but right now, it felt as if I was taking care of two. Tamara almost never left her room anymore. She didn't speak to me anymore. Because where on the night of Nikki’s birth, I had felt as if I had been talking to the ‘real’ Tamara again, I now felt as if she was acting to me. She was telling me what I wanted to hear. She was putting up a façade to the outside world. She wasn’t telling me what she was really feeling, and it made me angry. So angry, that I was actually happy to go back to work today. To finally be able to get out of the house for once. To finally be able to clear my head.

I had written everything down for Tamara in regards to Nikki. Which times to feed her, to check on her diaper, what times she would normally take her naps. Because Tamara was still shot off, she almost never touched the baby either, almost as if Tamara would be in physical pain when she would do so. I had tried to ignore it, as I tried to make things as normal as I could for baby Nikki. That baby deserved a happy home, a loving family. But the mood inside of our home was depressing at the moment, which resulted in a crying baby, as I was sure that she was just picking up on the mood as well. And as I slowly came closer towards my home, I heard that today was no exception either. Since I could hear Nikki crying from where I was standing.

“Come on Tamara…” I whispered, as I rolled my eyes at myself. I had talked to her about this just this morning. I had told Tamara that I needed to get back to work in order to get some money for us. The only thing that Tamara needed to do was be there for the baby when she needed her. I thought today would be the perfect day for the both of them to bond. To work on their relationship. I had even hoped that by the time I would get back home, that they would be cuddling, Tamara with a smile on her face as she would look down at baby Nikki, in love with her little pup. Like all mothers would look at their child. All mothers… except for Tamara.

As soon as I made my way into the house, all I could hear were the cries of baby Nikki. So I immediately went towards the sound, finding her lying inside of her crib. It was an old crib, one that we had gotten from Tyler’s parents, claiming it had been from their youngest daughter. And since we didn’t have a lot of money just lying around, we had been happy to accept it. But I frowned, as I looked down at Nikki and quickly picked her up to calm her down. She wasn’t a difficult baby, and with a few cuddles, her cries would be over. I knew that. But this time, she wasn’t just crying, she was sounding hysterical, as if she had been crying for hours on end. And as I picked her up, I knew why she sounded that way. Her diaper was completely soaked, meaning that she hadn’t had a change in hours. And I felt myself becoming angry, as reality set in. Tamara had not watched her as I had asked her to do. Baby Nikki had been lying inside of her crib, all alone, for hours. I felt my anger boiling deep inside of me. I hated this, Tamara was forcing me to do everything. I couldn’t go to work, take care of her and take care of a baby all at the same time! I was freaking 19 years old. I should be out partying, not playing house with a baby! But I tried to calm myself down. Even though I wanted to barge into Tamara’s room to yell at her and give her a piece of my mind, I knew it wouldn’t matter. It wouldn’t change anything. Things would still remain the same.

First things first, I quickly changed Nikki's diaper and clothes and decided on making her a bottle as well, and as soon as the pacifier reached her lips, the little one sucked on it for dear life, making me angry again. Not only had Tamara not made the effort to change her diaper, she hadn’t fed Nikki as well, and that was just wrong. After Nikki was fed and she had burped, I placed her back in her crib as I put on her little music bear. It was a small stuffed bear which had a music box inside of it. You could pull a cord on its back and it would start to play a tune for about two minutes. Giving me enough time to walk over towards Tamara and give her a piece of my mind. Enough was enough, she had had enough time to act depressed. Right now, she needed to be a mother first. Nikki was staring at her bear, as I made my way towards Tamara’s room, and to my surprise, I looked up, seeing that there was a note stuck to her door, and the door was closed. I looked up as I read the words.

‘I’m so sorry, I wasn’t stronger. I love you, Bec.’

And all I could remember after that, was that I quickly opened the door, to see that I was way too late to save her.

Next thing I remember, was me sitting at the dining room table with Tyler. His eyes were red from crying. We had just buried my sister out in the woods. No funeral, no fancy service. There wasn’t any money to pay for those things anyway. I felt angry, betrayed, and so f*****g alone in the world. I had lost my mother, my father, and now my own sister had decided to leave me behind as well. Painkillers, she had swallowed down so many that she had fallen asleep and she had simply stopped breathing along with it. I still couldn’t believe that it had happened. I still hoped that she would walk through the front door any second, her laughter filling up the house as she would walk over to me.

Laughter

There used to be so much laughter in this place.

And now… all that was left was silence and grief.

And I was all alone, alone with Nikki.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save her.” Tyler told me, his voice sounding so wounded. But I shook my head as I looked at him. Maybe he was the only one who knew how I was feeling at that point. He had, after all, loved my sister, maybe as much as I had.

“It’s not your fault, Tyler. Please, don’t beat yourself up over this.” I told him, leaning over and grabbing his hand. I didn’t blame him for anything, he had tried to save Tamara on multiple occasions. She just never wanted to be saved, I guess?

“I will help you.” Tyler told me, looking determent.

“I will help you raise the baby.” He told me again, nodding. I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I hadn’t even thought about any of these things. My mind had been shut off, my body working on automatic pilot, ever since I had walked inside that room and found Tamara.

“Thank you.” I nodded, looking up at Tyler.

“Nikki needs a family. I am happy you want to be a part of it.” I even managed to give Tyler a small smile, which he answered by smiling back at me, before it changed into determination.

“I will make that bastard pay.” He told me, his eyes shooting fire.

“If it wasn’t for that piece of s**t, Tamara would still be here, with us. I will make him pay, one way or another.” Tyler told me, and that’s when I knew he still felt guilty over what had happened.

“What will you do?” I asked him, seeing how he shrugged.

“You heard that Alpha Michael’s son killed him and took over as Alpha?” He asked me, to which I nodded. Of course, I knew you would have been living underneath a rock if you didn’t know. It was the best news I had heard in years. I just hoped that our new Alpha, Alpha Ash, would turn out to be a better man than his old man was. But from what I had heard, he was changing things, turning them around for the better. Thank you, Moon Goddess.

“I asked him for a job as a guard. My training starts soon.” Tyler told me, taking me by surprise.

“What does that mean?” I asked him, seeing how he sat straight.

“It means that they will teach me how to fight, how to be strong and how to be able to protect the ones that I love. And I get paid for it as well.” He stated, looking over at baby Nikki.

“And once my training is complete, I will be strong enough to kill that fucker Tim, who caused all of our pain.” He decided, nodding at himself.

“Tyler, you are not a killer.” I told him, shaking my head. I knew how this would end. Tyler was a good guy. Killing someone would kill him as a person. It would destroy him. It would rip the sunshine out of him. But he seemed to have made up his mind, as he had stood up from his chair and he walked over towards baby Nikki and he picked her up, placing a soft kiss on her forehead before he looked back at me.

“I will kill to protect those that I love, Bec. I wasn’t strong enough in the past, but I will be in the future. Nobody will hurt someone that I care about, ever again.” He nodded at me, and I knew that he was talking the truth here.

“I loved your sister more than life itself, and right now, Nikki is the only thing of her that’s left. So I need to be sure that she is safe. I will protect her with my life. Her and you.” Tyler promised me, and ever since that day, my family had grown by another member. Tyler came by our house almost every day to check up on Nikki. He was the male in her life that she needed. And together, we grieved over the loss of my sister. As slowly, baby Nikki grew and the minutes turned into hours, hours turned into days, days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, and life just went on as always. And life slowly turned into a new routine once again. Of Baby Nikki and myself against the world.