A mother for a Luna (#3 of the Spike pack)

January 21st, 2021

I frowned, as I looked down at my sister who was screaming. Holding a wet washing cloth against her forehead, in order to give her some form of comfort. I had never seen my sister in so much pain, and it was tearing my heart apart to see her like this. She was in full labor, and Catharina, our neighbor and Tyler’s mother, had come over to help me. When Tamara’s water had broken, I had went into a complete panic attack and had mind linked Tyler for help. Two minutes later, he and his mother had showed up at our doorstep, ready to help us. I didn’t know anything about babies, let alone how to bring one into the world. Luckily, Tyler’s mother, who had lived through it not once but three times, knew just about everything, and helped me along every step of the way.

The past couple of months had been rough for Tamara and me. Our father had never come back, he had not come back for us, getting us and bringing us to another pack. A pack where we could start our new and happy lives. And the bigger Tamara’s belly had grown, the more I started to realize that our father would never return as well. I had no idea what had happened to him. Did he run into rogues? Did he run into Alpha Michael? Did he fall and break his neck while running? I guess we would never really know. But at night, when I knew that Tamara was fast asleep, that was when I had time to break down and cry for my lost father. During the day, I needed to be strong. I needed to take care of my sister and I needed to make sure that, soon, we would be ready to welcome a baby into our little family. Because of that, I had also decided to get a job. It was small and it didn’t make me a fortune every month, but I had started to help with Catharina, Tyler’s mom, who was a housekeeper. She worked in a hotel just near our borders in the human world, where she would clean rooms. One day, she was talking about it and I had asked her if the hotel still needed the extra help, and two days later, I had started to work there as well, saving up every penny for the baby, until my father’s money had run out and I needed my job to support my sister and myself. Making sure that there was food on the table and clothes on our backs.

As much as I had tried to follow the doctor’s advice, Tamara seemed to shut herself off more and more each day. She could just sit and stare in front of her for hours. She never talked about the baby, she never caressed her stomach and she never gave me the intention as if she wanted anything for the baby as well. No clothes, no crib, no diapers, no clothes. To me, it seemed as if Tamara didn’t even want to believe that she was pregnant in the first place. So, I was surprised, when one day, I had gotten home from work, hearing how Tyler was talking to her, his voice soft and sweet.

“Tamara, I promise you, I will take care of you. Of you and the baby.” I had sighed, feeling how my heart grew for Tyler. I had always known that he had cared deeply for Tamara, but hearing this, hearing how he wanted to take care of her and a child that wasn’t even his, warmed my heart.

“I will do everything in my power to keep you safe, you and the baby. I will raise it as my own, if that is what you want. We can be a family.” He then added, making me stop my movements. I felt now as if I was overstepping, I needed those two to have this conversation and I felt as if I was sticking my nose right in between their business. And for the first time in weeks, right as I wanted to turn and step back outside, I had heard my sister’s voice again. Only what she said broke my heart.

“You want to protect me? You should have protected me that night. You couldn’t even protect me then. Why would you be able to protect me and this pup now?” I had sighed and shook my head.

Shit, Tamara!

And shortly after, our living room door had opened and Tyler had stepped inside the hallway. His eyes looked broken, probably the same as his heart. He had just offered himself to Tamara on a golden platter, he had wanted to push aside his true mate for her, and she had just pushed him away for good. Even worse, she blamed him for what had happened to her. And Tyler knew it. And now, he looked like a haunted man for it. I had opened my mouth, wanting to speak to him, wanting to tell him that what my sister had said wasn’t true. That it wasn’t Tyler’s fault. I knew he already felt guilty, and my sister’s words had just been like throwing oil on the fire. I needed to do something, anything. But I didn’t get the chance, since Tyler walked straight past me and out the door, as he shifted into his wolf and ran off as fast as he could. Far away from our home, and ever since that day, Tyler didn’t come by as much as before, hardly ever.

But now, as Tamara was screaming and trying to push this baby out of her body, Tyler was there. His face looked worried. As if he wanted to help, but wasn’t sure how to do it. And I figured that the two of us would probably have the same expression on our faces right about now. Since the both of us knew zero about delivering a baby. We all stayed pretty silent, following orders from Tyler’s mom, until a few hours later, Tamara’s screams of pain were switched for cries of a newborn baby. Catharine smiled, as he wrapped the child up in a blanket.

“It’s a girl.” She smiled at Tamara, as she wanted to hand over the pup to her, but Tamara had just frowned and shook her head fast.

“No, I don’t… I can’t…” She had stuttered, looking frightened at the little pup. Tyler’s mom had looked up at me in horror, not knowing what to do. And with a sigh, I had reached out for the baby and I had taken it into my own arms, at least until Catharina would be ready with Tamara.

“Do you have a name?” I had asked Tamara, who just shook her head and looked away from me and the pup. I had swallowed and nodded back, as I had turned around and slowly had walked out of the room with the newborn baby.

I was surprised at Tamara’s reaction. In some way, I understood where she was coming from. This baby was a constant reminder of what had happened to her all those months ago on that horrible night. Maybe she saw the face of her attacker, every time she looked at this little baby? But surely, she had to be able to see the other side as well. As I looked down at this baby, I spotted her dark blonde hair, the same color as ours. The pointy nose, just like ours. And as I softly ran my finger over the baby’s cheek and she grabbed my finger, something clicked inside of my heart. Something that I immediately knew was called love. I loved this tiny baby already. I loved this little pup in my arms. She had not chosen her own father, she couldn’t help it. She hadn’t chosen the circumstances that had brought her into this world. But I would make it my life’s mission, to make sure that this baby would be safe. She would never know who her father was, what kind of a monster he was. And she would never know how much sadness her own mother felt over having her. That at this point, Tamara didn’t even seem to want her. This baby, this little pup, she deserved so much better. She deserved the world. And if not for her own mother and father, I would give it to her. I would fight for her. I would try and make the world a better place for her. Someone had to.

When Catherina was done taking care of Tamara, she had walked inside the living room, as she gave me some advice on how to feed a newborn baby, how many hours to leave in between feedings, how to change diapers and all of that. I had just listened and nodded, trying to remember everything. Knowing that when Tyler’s mom would leave, I would be all on my own again. And once she and Tyler had left, Tyler without saying a single word, I made my way into Tamara’s bedroom. She might have just delivered a baby, and she might be filled up with hormones right about now, but I had had enough, and this all had to stop, right now.

“ OK,” I had said, as I had walked into her bedroom, still holding the baby in my arms as I closed the door behind me, before I had turned around to look at my sister. She was still lying in bed and looking exhausted, but this conversation was not waiting, we were doing this right now.

“I need you to snap out of it.” I told her, seeing how she frowned at me.

“Look at her!” I told her, seeing how she wanted to shake her head again, but I growled at her, seeing that my reaction surprised her.

“Look at her!” I said again.

“She looks just like us, she is freaking adorable and I am sorry, but I am done with you acting like that! This baby does not deserve that! She didn’t choose this either. Stick that into your thick skull, Tamara. This baby girl did not come into the world just to torment you!” I told her, seeing how she just stared at me. And after a decent five seconds, she slowly nodded at me. I sighed deeply, as if finally, I seemed to be getting somewhere. So, I sat at the edge of the bed so Tamara would at least look at the baby. At first, that was all she did. She just looked at the sleeping baby, and as if by a miracle, the baby opened her small eyes and looked at her mommy, as if she was trying to make this an official meeting between the two of them. And as if a miracle would have it, Tamara smiled. It was the first time I had seen her smile in months. Ever since that horrible night,

“She looks like Rosalie.” My sister smiled, looking up at me.

“I’m sorry, who?” I asked, frowning. We had no Rosalie in our family, and I had looked back down at the baby, as if seeing her again would ring a bell, but no. I still had no clue what my sister was talking about.

“Rosalie, from that stupid vampire movie. The one where the girl clearly should have chosen the werewolf but she went for a bloodsucking vampire.” I laughed, hard, thinking back at that time in our lives. It seemed like a lifetime ago now. But back then, we had always been laughing about it. A movie where a girl chooses a vampire over a werewolf, I mean… seriously? And looking back at it now. That part of our lives was probably when we had been at our happiest. Before we were all grown up and the big bad world had started to show its true colors to us.

“It’s a beautiful name. Rosalie.” I smiled at my sister, hoping she would take the bait here. I needed her to name her own daughter, it would forge a bond between them. And I hoped that by doing that, it would make her fall in love with her as well. But Tamara shook her head.

“No. Not Rosalie. It’s too long.” She picked up her nose as she shook her head, and for one little second, I saw my real sister again. The sassy sister, the one who I had loved with all of my heart.

“The actress who played her is called Nikki Reed. What about Nikki?” She then asked me, making me look down at the baby again.

“She does look like a good ‘Nikki’.” I had answered her softly, looking back up into my sister’s eyes as I smiled at her. Seeing once again, that I was looking into my real sister’s eyes. Not the empty vessel of hers, which had been inside of this house for the last couple of months.

“Baby Nikki.” My sister smiled back at me, as she nodded. Her decision had been made. And I nodded, agreeing with her.

“ OK, baby Nikki it is.” I had smiled back at her. Only seeing then that my sister was fighting hard against her sleep.

“Go to sleep.” I whispered at her, standing up with the baby in my arms. And I slowly stood up and walked out of the room, giving my sister some time to rest. And I couldn’t help but smile. This past minute, I had seen my sister again. My real sister. And I just hoped so badly, that that was the beginning. The beginning of her healing. The first step in the right direction. Maybe this was the part where things would finally turn out for the better. And we would finally be able to move on from this. Just us three. Tamara, me and baby Nikki. Forever.