A mother for a Luna (#3 of the Spike pack)

September 15th, 2020

A month and a half had passed since that horrible night. A month and a half had passed, since all our lives had changed so much. We didn’t go out anymore at all. My father went to work during the day, while Tamara and I stayed inside our home. And once our father came back at night, we would eat together and that was about it really. It felt as if I was a prisoner in my own home. But my father had been right, when he had told us to stay inside at all times. This place wasn’t safe for us. This place wasn’t safe for any she-wolf, while this monster of an Alpha was still ruling over us. As he was allowing things like this to happen to his own pack members. It would never be safe for us out here, if things would not change around the pack.

On top of that, Tamara had gotten sick as well. She threw up all the time, even though she almost didn’t eat anything. She seemed to be buried inside of her own thoughts all the time, locking me out with it. She could just sit on the sofa for hours, stare out in front of herself, as if she was living inside of her own little world inside of her mind. She had lost a lot of weight, and since that awful night, she had become the vessel of the person she once used to be. Tamara had always been a ‘girly girl’, she loved to dress herself up, wear make-up and always wanted to look nice in case her true mate would walk by one day. But right now, Tamara didn’t do any of these things anymore. It felt as if she had just given up. On everything. Her days were spent in silence, while most nights were filled with her screams, as she would have nightmare after nightmare, reliving the horrible things that were done to her. The only light in her life at the moment, seemed to be when Tyler came by. Which was as often as he could. And I could see it in his eyes as he looked at Tamara. He hated what had happened to her as well, and he hated how Tamara seemed to be floating away from us. I could tell he still cared for her. Hell, I even believed that he loved her. He would have done anything for her. But Tamara was shut off, not letting anyone in, not anymore.

When my father had had enough of all of it, he had told Tamara that he would take her to a human doctor at the nearest human village, since our pack didn’t even have a doctor. And this time, I had stomped my foot down, and I was going to go with them. My father would not shut me out. Not this time. And with a nod, he had agreed with me. So, a couple of hours later, we sat inside the doctor’s office. My father had done most of the talking, telling the man what had happened. The doctor had listened, had not judged once, his eyes had looked at Tamara from time to time, examining her and her reactions, as my father would speak about that horrible night. When my father was done talking, telling the doctor only about the rape and not the fact that our Alpha had whipped her on top of that, because honestly, not one human would believe that story, the doctor had sighed deeply. He had advised us to head over to the police station to report about the rape. The poor man, he had no idea that werewolves did not live up to the human laws. The Spike pack didn’t either, not at all. But knowing how the human world worked, my father had lied straight through his teeth and had nodded at the doctor, promising him that we would. Knowing that we wouldn’t.

After that, the doctor had turned his attention towards Tamara, as he asked us to leave the room so he could examine Tamara. When she had freaked out at that point, because she didn’t know the doctor and she did not want to stay alone with a man she did not know, the doctor asked me to stay with her to keep her calm, which I did. I held her hand through everything. Once the doctor was done doing his full examination on Tamara, he had told her she could get dressed again behind a curtain, before he had turned his attention on me.

“Are you her sister?” He had asked me, to which I had nodded. The doctor had cleared his throat, looking up at me, before he started to speak.

“Your sister has been raped, there is no doubt in my mind about that. Physically, she is healed. But your sister’s wounds seem to be more psychological.” He told me, which made me frown.

“I believe your sister is suffering from depression, which was caused by her trauma.” He stated, looking at the curtain where my sister was standing behind to get dressed again. She hadn’t nearly said a word since getting inside the doctor’s office.

“You need to keep an eye on her. Your sister needs to learn to talk about this with others, in order to get through it. She is bubbling everything up inside of her, and at some point, she is going to snap.” The doctor told me, looking at me as if he was giving me a life lesson here.

“You need to make sure, as her sister, that she talks. That she eats. That she sleeps well and that she keeps on functioning normally. Even if she tries to shut you out, do not give up on her and keep trying. Be there for her when she wants to be heard. Force her to go on walks with you. Compliment her as much as you can. Tell her how much you love her and how much she means to you. She has to learn to see the good things in life again. To her, her life feels like it is inside of a storm right now, I need you to be her sun.” I had swallowed and nodded at the doctor, promising him that I would. I would do anything to make Tamara feel better again.

The doctor had called my father back into the room shortly after, as he told him everything that he had looked at and examined on Tamara. The doctor had also taken some blood, which he would test for all sorts of things to find out what was causing her to vomit so much. It could have been a trigger by the trauma, which caused her to feel so sick, but he needed to be sure. If the blood work came back without anything bad, he would make a subscription, so my sister could get on anti-depressants, which would help her to become better again. To become herself again.

But three hours later, when we were back home. I had our house cellphone pressed against my ear. We would only use that cellphone in cases just like this, when we had been in contact with the human world, and someone needed to call us to get a message through. Inside the pack, a phone wasn’t needed, we could just mind link with each other when we needed to. But with this phone call, I felt how my heart had stopped beating because of the doctor’s words. I had felt how a massive lump had formed itself inside of my throat, and I had felt how the world had stopped spinning around me.

“We cannot put your sister on anti-depressants right now.”

“Bloodwork showed that your sister’s HCG levels were high.”

“It means that your sister is pregnant.”

I had listened to the phone call like a robot. I had heard some shuffling from behind me, to which I had turned, staring directly into my sister’s eyes. Her eyes were hollow, there was nothing left in there. Her wolf hearing had heard what the doctor had said. She knew she was pregnant, pregnant by the monster who had raped her. She just kept staring at me, as if she was screaming at me to help her, but no words were able to leave her mouth. She didn’t even cry, she wasn’t angry, she didn’t scream, she didn’t even laugh at the irony of all of this mess. She just stared at me, and looking back now, I know that that was the part where I had lost my sister, forever.

When my father had heard about the news, something inside of him had snapped as well. Surely, the day that he would receive the news that he would become a grandfather, must have gone differently inside of his mind as well. With much more joy, happiness. Now, this news seemed like a death sentence to all of us. My father had run upstairs and within five minutes, he was back downstairs, a backpack on his back as he was stuffing his jacket pockets with as much food as he could find.

“What are you doing?” I asked him, seeing how he looked at me.

“We are leaving this place. Forever.” He told me, making me frown at him.

“Leave? And go live where?” I asked him, seeing how he squeezed his eyes shut in anger.

“Bec, we cannot stay and live here. It will kill her.” He spoke, talking about Tamara.

“Get your stuff, we are leaving right now.” He told me, to which I shook my head.

“Dad, no.” I said, making him stop for a second to look at me.

“Where will we go? We cannot go and live inside the human world. When the Alpha learns about this, he will come for us and he will kill us all! And at this point, Tamara is too weak to travel. It will kill her!” I yelled at him, trying to bring some sense into his brain. He was acting on his anger, he wasn't thinking clearly.

“We need protection. We cannot do this on our own.” I added, looking at my sister, who was still just staring right in front of her. She still hadn't moved an inch since finding out that she was pregnant.

My father seemed to be thinking for a while, before he nodded, agreeing with me.

“ OK, then I will go and search for protection.” He told me as he made up his mind.

“I will go and search for another pack who wants to take us in and protect us. We will start our lives somewhere else, somewhere far far away from this freakshow.” He growled, taking a bottle of water out of the fridge as he placed it inside of his backpack.

“I need you and your sister to stay here, out there in the woods, it isn’t safe. I need to keep my girls safe.” My father spoke, mostly to himself at that point.

“Once I have found a better pack, I will come back for you and your sister. We will go and live somewhere else and we will be happy again. I promise.” He told me, nodding his head fast. Something had snapped inside of him. My father was on survival mode right now. He wanted to fight to protect his family, just like any other good man would do.

“ OK.” I nodded, agreeing with him. Knowing that I would not be able to change his mind.

“But dad, please, be safe.” I told him, I begged him, to which he pulled me into his embrace. I had never been outside of the pack borders before, but I had heard stories about rogues and how unsafe the outside world was. My father was risking so much by leaving the Spike pack, all just so we could have a better life moving forward.

“Please Bec, take care of your sister while I am gone.” He told me, placing a kiss on my forehead.

“I promise.” I answered him, nodding my head.

“I love you, Bec. You and your sister are my world. We will find a way, and we will be happy again. And I am so proud of you, my child. You are so smart and so loving. You are the spitten image of your mother.” He told me, to which I smiled, even though right now it felt as if the ground was being pulled from underneath my feet.

My father is leaving

He is leaving us behind.

“I love you too, dad.” I told him, seeing how he looked around our house before he stepped over to Tamara and he gave her a hug as well. Tamara didn’t hug him back, and by the tension in my father’s shoulders, I could tell that it tore him apart.

“I will be back soon.” He promised Tamara, before he looked over at me and nodded.

“There is still some money left in my bedroom, in the top drawer in a red box. Take whatever you need to survive Bec, but please, be safe.” He told me, to which I nodded again. Knowing that right now, I wouldn’t even be able to speak. I looked at my father as he stood there, the man who had raised me, who had loved me, who had twirled me around and who had danced with me inside this very living room when I was still a pup. And I had watched as he had turned around and he had walked outside of our house, leaving me and Tamara behind, as he went to search for a better place for all of us.

Only,

he never did.

He never came back.

and the happy place never came for us.