Chapter 10.
2454 Words
"I have a few meetings for today,"
Napabuntong hininga si Agnes sa kakulitan ng Daddy nya. He has a fever and he looks so pale. Kinausap nya agad ito na huwag nang pumasok sa Capitol and then they called their doctor. But he's still insisting na marami syang gagawin.
"Dad, please. Ako na ang bahala. I'll call if I needed be." Kalmado pa rin na sabi nya kahit sa loob nya ay parang mauubusan na sya ng pasensya.
All of them are worried sick about him and he doesn't seemed to mind. All he thinks about is to go to work even though he's obviously not conditioned to go. Ni hindi nga sya makatayo ng maayos! I can understand his concern but surely, kayang kaya ko naman ipaliwanag sa lahat na masama ang pakiramdam nya kaya hindi muna sya papasok.
"Are you sure?" Paninigurado pa nito.
Tumango ako ng sunod-sunod. Bago ako umalis ay sinalubong na ni Mommy ang family doctor na aasikaso kay Daddy. Ang kotse ni Daddy ang ginamit ko and his driver drove me to the Capitol. My mind's a mess. Gusto ko mag focus sa mga gagawin ko ngayong araw pero hindi ko mapigilan isipin at mag-alala kay Daddy.
Mommy's the most health conscious in all of us, at alam ko na nakukulitan kami minsan sa kanya whenever she would shove us the idea that we're putting junk in our bodies instead of eating healthy foods pero ngayon ay naisip ko na sana ay ganoon rin ka health conscious si Daddy.
Hindi ko na tinawagan sila Kuya Ash at Kuya Ahren. They'll just worry. Baka mamaya ay okay naman na si Daddy and I am crossing my fingers over it.
Mabilis ang mga hakbang ko na naglakad papunta sa opisina ko.
Thankfully ay hindi ko nakita si Razael. Not that I don't want to see him because I do. It's been three days since what happened between us at tuwing uwian lang kami nagkikita, pero hindi kami nag-uusap. We just smile at each other secretly. And seeing him early this morning will just make me off balance again.
Just like I promised him, hindi na ako umiiwas sa kanya. I just told him na huwag na lang muna kami mag usap. No text or calls rin muna. Pareho lang kaming madidistract.
I started calling all of the people on Daddy's list that he was supposed to meet today and explained them his situation. Tumagal ang tawag ko dahil kinailangan ko pang makipag kwentuhan sa kanila and make them feel at ease about his health.
Kasabay ng pagbaba ko ng telepono sa awdotibo ay narinig ko na may kumatok sa pintuan ng maliit kong opisina.
"It's open, please come in," Agad na sabi ko while piling up the papers in front of me.
The door opened and it closed immediately. The familiar scent immediately ticked my nostrils and my lips automatically curved into a smile bago ako nag angat ng tingin at tiningnan si Razael.
"Hi." Malapad ang ngiti na sabi nya habang papalapit sa akin.
Parang tumigil ang puso ko nang makita ko ang kabuoan nya. He looks dashing in his signatured white polo and black pants. Basa pa ang buhok nya and he's giving me that drunk look again. I stood up from my swivel chair and meet him halfway. We stopped and gave at least one feet away from each other.
"Hello," Pigil ang ngiti na sabi ko naman.
Inangat nya ang kamay nya at akmang hahawakan ang mukha ko.
"Raz.." Bahagya ko syang pinandilatan ng mata. I told him na as much as possible, bawal kaming magkaroon ng physical contact inside Capitol.
Pareho kaming nahihirapan but I am just cautious.
"I know.." Sabi nya na nakatingin sa mga labi ko. His hand, rather, his finger, landed on my arm and little bolts of electricity ran through my skin. Razael affects me this much.
I bit my lower lip. "W-why are you here?"
"I missed you," Hindi nya pa rin inaalis ang tingin sa labi ko, his fingers are still caressing my arm and it already awakened every veins in my body.
"We talked about this." Mahinang sabi ko. My breathing is starting to get uneven. Just being this close to Razael gives me this kind of reaction. Para akong nalulunod at sya lang rin ang makakasagip sa akin.
"I know.." He said under his breath.
I sighed. "Raz, c'mon." Pigil na pigil ako na hawakan rin sya at hilahin palapit sa akin. I want him close. I lose my mind whenever he's near and this isn't healthy for the both of us.
The air inside my office is becoming thick and the butterflies in my stomach isn't chilling.
"I can't stop thinking about you, about that night." Tumaas ang tingin nya mula sa labi ko hanggang sa magtama ang mga mata namin.
I smiled. "Me too. But Raz, please."
"Hindi kita pwede i text, tawagan o kausapin. This is killing me.." Every word he says is giving me chills. God. How I badly want to kiss him and taste his lips right now. His fingers slowly went down from my arm to my hand.
Gusto ko iiwas ang kamay ko pero agad nya iyon na nahuli and he hold it tight.
"You know na nag-iingat lang naman ako." Paalala ko sa kanya. Bilin ko na huwag syang tumawag o magtext after that night in his condo and he's been a good boy so far.
The moment that I landed in Isabela that morning, pakiramdam ko ay maraming mata na ang nakatutok sa akin. Hindi ko mapigilan maparanoid. But I realized that I just have to suck it up. This is my choice and no matter how bad it seems that I am sneaking out with a married man, I will stand with it.
Kaya gusto ko mag ingat. Kahit gaano ko gusto kausapin o makita man lang si Razael, I have to endure the longing. There's prying eyes everywhere. Walang may alam, at walang may duda. Pero hihintayin pa ba namin na magkaroon?
"When can we be together again? I've been a good boy." Sabi nya tapos ngumisi sya.
I wheezed. "I know. And you'll get a reward soon." I teased him.
I felt him tensed at lalong lumapad ang ngiti ko.
He groaned. "You're such a tease."
Pinigilan ko ang tumawa. "Go back to your office." I told him.
"Oo nga pala, hindi raw pumasok Daddy mo?" Naging seryoso na ang mukha nito.
Tumango ako. "Yep, he has a fever. I already called the people he's supposed to meet to inform them."
"Is he gonna be okay?" Ramdam nya ang pag-aalala nito.
I nod. "He will be."
"I want to see him later."
Nagsalubong ang kilay ko at tiningnan sya. He grinned at me.
"Yes, I also want to see you later but I am really worried about your Dad." He slowly let go of my hand and I feel naked all of a sudden. "Sa akin ka na sumabay, tell your Dad's driver to go home early."
"After lunch na lang."
"Saan ka ba kakain ng lunch?"
Napaisip ako. "Uhm, hindi ko pa alam."
Napatigil sya bahagya para mag isip. "Sabay na lang tayo mag lunch. Aayain ko rin si Tina."
I paused for a moment. Gusto ko. Gustong gusto ko, but is it wise?
"Hey, inaaya ko naman talaga si Tina minsan. It won't be just out of the blue. Please?" He plead.
I sighed. "You have to stop looking at me like that." I told him.
Nangunot ang noo nya. "Like what?"
"Like.. you're drunk or something." Napangiwi ako. It's the perfect giveaway for everyone who would notice.
Napa awang ang labi nya. And then he cleared his throat. He's aware that he's giving me that look, I supposed. "I'll try."
"Then I can't. People will start talking, Raz. Sige na, sa bahay na lang tayo magkita."
He sighed as a sign of defeat. "Okay, fine."
I smiled at him.
He mouthed 'I love you' and blew me a flying kiss before he left.
-
"This Friday, the new wing in Palanan Station Hospital will be opened." Masiglang sinagot ni Razael ang mga tanong ni Mommy sa kanya habang nasa hapag kainan kami.
Hindi kami nagsabay mag lunch dahil mag isa akong kumain but he insisted na sabay kaming pumunta sa bahay. So I told the driver not to fetch me anymore. I told Mommy na kasabay ko si Razael at gusto nyang bisitahin si Daddy.
Mom told me na sabihin kay Razael na sa amin na maghapunan.
Parang bata na biglang naexcite si Razael when I let him read my mother's text message.
Wala kaming imikan sa kotse habang nasa byahe pero nag uusap kami via text, which is a little thrilling, if you'd ask me. Bago namin marating ang bahay ay pinabura ko sa kanya ang mga messages namin and I did the same, but I told him not to erase the 'official' or work related texts.
God, I am getting good at this.
Daddy can walk better than this morning pero may sinat pa rin sya, and I don't think na makakapasok na sya bukas. Mabibinat sya kung sakali man and the doctor advised him to take a rest. Sumabay sya ngayon sa amin sa pagkain although porridge lang ang kanya.
"Agnes can go with you instead, Razael, hijo. I don't think my husband can recover easily in two days." Agad na sagot ni Mommy.
Bahagya kaming nagkatinginan ni Razael. He smirked and I rolled my eyeballs at her.
"Darling, kung okay na ako bukas, then maybe I can go this Friday." Dad insisted again.
"Dad, please. Mas okay nang tuloy tuloy ang pahinga mo." Hindi ko mapigilan na magsalita.
"Agnes can go with me. You don't need to worry about anything but to rest. Your health is the most important thing right now." Sabi rin ni Razael.
Lahat kami ay napatingin sa kanya.
"God, hijo, thanks for saying that. Napakaulit kasi nitong isang ito." Naiiling na sabi n Mommy.
In the end, walang nagawa si Daddy dahil napagtulungan na namin sya.
After dinner, nag usap sandali sila Razael at Daddy while I went to the library to read some projects and proposals. After a few minutes, the door opened. Iniluwa noon si Mommy na mukhang nasa good mood.
"Agnes, are you busy?"
"Hindi naman, Mom. Why?" I answered without looking at her.
"You Dad's about to go to bed. He and Raz is at the veranda."
She stopped whatever she was doing and looked at her mother. "Do you need help with Dad?"
Umiling iling ito. "Not really. Well, nabanggit ni Razael na wala pala si Sheila and it seems like he plans on staying a little longer. Ikaw na muna ang pumalit sa Daddy mo."
I froze when I heard what she said. Ako ang papalit kay Daddy para kausapin si Raz?
"They're at the veranda. Sumunod ka na lang."
Wala na akong nagawa nang maka alis na si Mommy. Marunong kaming humarap sa tao, kaya hindi naman kakaiba kung haharapin ko si Razael dahil kailangan nang magpahinga ni Daddy. I kind of like it, pero kinakabahan ako. What if I can't help myself?
Being too close to Razael physically makes it harder for me to breathe.
Sumunod ako matapos ang ilang minuto at inaalalayan na ni Mommy si Daddy na tumayo. Bahagya akong natigilan nang makita na may bote ng scotch sa table at dalawang baso. Obviously ay bawal uminom si Daddy kaya walang laman ang isa, while Razael's already sipping on his glass.
"Go on, talk to that guy." Magiliw na sabi ni Daddy sa akin.
I only nod before I went straight to the veranda. Razael's lips curved into a smile when he saw me approaching. Tanging wall lamps sa apat na sulok ng veranda ang ilaw at parang bigla ay ginanahan rin ako uminom. I sat at the seat in front of him.
Kasalukuyan nyang nilalagyan ng scotch ang baso ko tapos ang kanya rin.
"Haven't you had enough? Nakalahatian mo na 'yung bote." Salubong ang kilay na sabi ko sa kanya.
Umiling iling sya tapos inilapag ang bote. "I'm just starting."
Hindi ako sumagot at sumimsim lang sa baso ko. "Hindi ka pa ba uuwi?"
"The only person that I'd like to see is here, so I think I'll stay a little longer." He said then licked his lips.
I groaned. Kinuha ko ang takip ng bote at sinaraduhan na iyon. "Last mo na 'yan. You wouldn't want a hangover tomorrow." Naiiling na sabi ko.
"Yes, Ma'am." Biro nya.
The next few seconds was just us, looking at each other, smiling like idiots.
"I want to kiss you." Maya maya ay sabi nya.
Hindi ako sumagot, I just smiled at him.
He groaned. "C'mon, Agnes. Kahit isa lang." Parang bata na pakiusap nito.
I looked around before I stood up. Malamang na nasa kanya kanyang quarters na ang mga kasambahay. I signaled him to follow me. I went back to the library at sumunod naman agad si Razael. The moment we entered the room, he immediately pushed me to the wall and kissed me.
Mahigpit ang pagkaka hapit nya sa akin. He's holding me like he doesn't want to let me go.
I can feel his longing in his kisses. I kissed back in the same manner. My hand travelled to his chest down to his stomach, pababa sa pagitan ng mga hita nya.
He pulled away from me when he felt my hand on his fly.
"Agnes.." He said in a warning tone.
Natawa ako. "What?"
He sighed. "I want you so much as bad, but we can't do it here." Mahinang sabi nya. I can feel the frustration on his voice even though he's trying hard to calm down. He raked his hand through his hair sexily.
"I know." Kibit balikat na sabi ko. I want to feel his warmth against me again pero hanggang dito na lang muna siguro kami talaga.
Lumapit ako sa kanya at yinakap na lang sya. He hugged me back.
We stayed in that position for a few minutes. Walang nagsasalita, we're just feeling each other and our heartbeats. Gusto ko na syang pauwiin dahil natatakot ako na may magsimulang maisip ang mga kasambahay o baka bumaba ulit si Mommy. But I want Razael close. Sinusulit ko na muna.
He kept on kissing my hair at lalong humihigpit ang yakap nya.
Until my phone rang from my pocket. It's Jer and when I answered it, I knew immediately that I was in trouble.
"Why does you friend, Matt, thinks I was broken hearted and who the hell I was broken hearted to?" Mariin na tanong nya.
- Writer
