More Than Just A Sinner (Tagalog) (R-18)

Chapter 9.

It felt different holding Razael's hardness. Bumangon ako at umupo paharap sa kanya. I couldn't care less being naked in front of him. Nakatitig lang sya sa akin habang pinag hawak ko ang kahandaan nya. I smirked at him.

"What? Hind ka talaga gagalaw dyan?" I teased him as I started playing with his shaft.

He sighed. "You're so f*****g beautiful, Agnes. Alam mo ba 'yon?" Bigla ay paos na sabi nya.

I bit my lower lip. Parang nalaglag na lang bigla ang puso ko sa sinabi nya.

Het got up, pulled my hand away from his hardness and hold me on my shoulders.

"Look at me," He commanded.

Unti unti akong tumingin sa mga mata nya. There's a mix of wanting and need in there. Parang nagpipigil lang talaga sya at hindi ko alam kung saan nya nakukuha ang lakas nya. I want him on me. I have never felt this kind of wanting over someone before.

Kay Razael lang.

"Do you want this? Are you one hundred percent sure?" Mahinang tanong nya.

Napabuga ako ng hangin. "Raz, please! I want this. I want you. I don't know what you still want from-" Naputol ang pagrereklamo ko nang halikan nya na ako.

His hand automatically spread my leg as he slowly pushes me to the bed again. I hugged him when his weight was already on me. I shivered when his maleness brushed on my still sensitive and damp core.

Razael's giving me kisses all over my face as he slowly pushed himself inside me. Pakiramdam ko ay tumigil ang mundo ko nang unti unti ko nang maramdaman ang sakit. My nails dug into his back as I moan in pain. I anticipated this, and there will never be a regret on my part, that I am sure of.

He kept on giving me small kisses on face as if to sooth the pain I was feeling. It's bearable, compared to the horror stories I have read. Maybe knowing that it's Raz also makes a difference. Pigil ko ang paghinga habang dahandahan nya akong pinupuno. I can feel him being really careful in pushing inside me.

Napaliyad ako nang ramdam ko na naisagad nya na ang kabuoan nya.

He stopped moving. Our eyes met at humihingal ako dahil sa makapigil na hiningang sakit na naramdaman ko kanina.

"Are you okay?" He softly and lovingly asked.

I giggled. "I'm fine, Raz." I assured him.

Without any warning, he then started thrusting in and out of me. Napahiyaw ako sa magkahalong sarap at sakit na agad kong naramdaman. Nakatitig lang si Raz sa mukha ko and his face became really dark. Para akong matutunaw sa intensity ng tingin na binibigay nya sa akin.

He caressed my face gently, every stroke is very defined. My skin is so hypersensitive with every touch coming from him.

Rinig na rinig ang pagtama ng mga katawan namin sa isa't isa habang gumagalaw sya sa ibabaw ko. His face went down and he starts kissing me on my neck, down to my chest. His other hand cupped my breast while he suck on the others. Napaliyad ako, his thrusts are getting deeper and harder and the pleasure I was feeling intensifies.

"R-Raz.." My voice was shaking. My whole world and body is shattering underneath him.

His moves becomes slow all of a sudden. Muling nagtama ang mga mata namin. And I can see the usual 'drunk look' he's giving me and I melt every f*****g time. He's caressing my legs and opening them wider for him to access. His finger found my clit and teases it.

Nawawala na ako sa sarili ko at wala akong magawa kung hindi matunaw.

"f*****g hell!" He moaned. Tumingala sya. May ilang butil na ng pawis ang bumaba mula sa leeg nya patungo sa matipuno nyang dibdib.

Itinaas ko ang mga kamay ko at hinawakan ang dibdib nya. Razael's body is very sinful. Aminado naman ako noon na ilang beses ko ring pinagpantasyahan kung ano ang itsura nya kapag wala syang saplot. I find it so disturbing before.

But that was before I knew that he has the hots for me. Mas malala pa nga ang tama nya.

"Oh, honey." He lowered his self again and suck my n*****s.

Napapaliyad at napapahiyaw ako sa tuwing marahan nya iyon na kinakagat kagat. His thrusts became harder again. Puno na iyon ng gigil at ramdam ko na pati ang kama ay gumagalaw na rin sabay sa ritmo ng paglabas pasok nya sa akin.

I encircled my legs on his waist as he pump into me. Wala na ang bakas ng sakit, purong sarap na lamang ang nananalaytay sa katawan ko.

He hastily pulled himself out, tapos dahan dahan nya akong pinatagilid. He slowly lie down and position himself at my back. He pulled my other leg up as he slowly slid again inside me from the back.

He started to pump again while softly biting and kissing my shoulder. I find it so pure and raw. I was moaning in between my heavy breathing.

"Raz! Raz! Ohhhh!" In swift seconds, I collapsed again in his arms while he still kept on thrusting in and out of me. Naliliyo na ako, I am seeing stars again and he's still not reached his climax while he gave me twice.

Humigpit ang hawak nya sa bewang ko. It's a little painful but I can feel that he's close.

He pulled himself and immediately kneeled in front of me. He played with his hardness that's still glistening from my juice until his own came out and landed on my stomach and breasts. He looked at me then groaned.

I laughed. "What?"

Umiling iling lang sya tapos bumangon sya at pumunta sa banyo. I didn't know what he will be doing, kung maglilinis o maliligo na ba sya. Gusto kong tumayo na rin pero damn, pakiramdam ko naubusan ako ng lakas. I just stared at the ceiling, thinking.

Ang bilis pa rin ng t***k ng puso ko pero ramdam ko rin naman ang fulfillment.

Razael came back, walked in his nakedness while holding a tissue. He started to clean me up and he's so serious while doing so. Natawa na naman ako.

He gave me an annoyed look.

"Ang grumpy mo. Kanina ka pa." Natatawa na sabi ko.

Hindi nya ako pinansin, imbes ay napatuloy lang sya. He threw the tissue papers away at the trash can. Hinila ko ang kamay nya para tumabi sya ulit sa akin. Until sya na ang humila sa akin palapit sa kanya at magkayakap kaming nakahiga.

"Uuwi ka ba mamaya? Or you'll be staying here a few more days?" Marahang tanong nya.

"Uuwi ako. Kailangan, eh. Besides, wala naman ako gagawi dito. How about you?"

"I just came here to see you.."

Hindi ako nagsalita at ngumiti lang. Kinilig ako.

"Can you stay until morning? Hmm?" Malambing na tanong nya pa.

Tiningala ko sya. I wanted to say yes, pero ayoko naman na magduda si Jericho. He will be curious as to where I stayed kung sabihin ko na huwag nya na ako sunduin. And I can't lie and tell him na kay Kuya Ahren ako natulog dahil siguradong magtatanong sya. Besides, Matt and others thinks I am already with Jer.

"I can't, I'm sorry.." s**t. Nakakainis. I still want to be with Razael.

I already defied one of the major sins. and I now succumb to it like it's the most natural thing.

Pero masaya ako. At alam ko na si Razael rin. Magiging tanga na muna ako ngayon. All my life I have been the good kid. High grades, always saying YES to what mommy wants me to do, always thinking of the family's name. I have a good childhood, don't get me wrong. But I realized that my life before was.. plain and bland.

Like nothing really exciting happened. It's like I just finished school just to finish it. Just to finaly tell everyone that I graduated. I liked my course, but my mother didn't. So it's still a little burden on my part knowing my mother isn't really supportive on the path I wanted. Pero mukhang masaya naman sya that I am helping Dad as his secretary.

And the first time that I became rebellious ay ang pagpatol ko sa lalaking may asawa na. Gusto ko talagang matawa. Gaga na kung gaga. Bigla ay natanggap ko na masusunog ako sa impyerno dahil sa pagpili kong sumaya.

Humigpit ang yakap sa akin ni Razael. Parang ayaw nya pa ako bitiwan. And I feel the same.

"Can you please not avoid me whenever we're in Capitol? Please?" He plead.

"Mabuti kung hindi ka nanghihila dyan." Playful pa rin na sabi ko.

"I swear I'll behave. Just let me see you, even just a glimpse before the day starts. That would be more than okay." Isinubsob nya ang mukha nya sa pagitan ng leeg at balikat ko.

I caressed his hair. "Sige."

"Thank you."

Silence. Agad na pumasok sa isip ko si Sheila.

"Kailan babalik si Sheila?" I asked.

Naramdaman kong napatigil sya. "Sa Sabado."

"So one week syang mawawala?"

"Yes."

Hindi na ako sumagot. A part of me is rejoicing na mas possible ang magkita kami kahit nasa Isabela kami dahil wala si Sheila pero may isang banda rin ang kahit papaano ay natatakot na may makahalata sa amin. This will be a f*****g huge scandal. And I never want to drag my family into this. Pati ang pamilya ni Razael ay madadamay, sigurado.

"What are you thinking?" Maya maya ay tanong nya.

"We're a ticking scandal waiting to happen." I answered honestly.

Inangat nya ang mukha nya at tiningnan ako. Hindi ko sya pinansin, nanatiling sa kisame ako nakatingin.

"Agnes.." Alam ko ang tono ng boses nya na iyon. He's telling me not to think ahead, not to think negatively. Pero totoo naman hindi ba?

"Totoo naman. Dapat mas maging maingat tayo." The few days old me wouldn't even think of saying this. But I am the new me. I chose to be happy. I chose to get what I want, someone who also want me.

Razael sighed as if he lost a war. "I'm really sorry.."

"Stop saying sorry, Razael." Inis na sabi ko. "We both want this."

"I love you." Mabilis na sabi nya.

I can't answer back yet. No, I don't know what I feel about him yet. Love seems so far from me as of the moment but breaking the rule and committing sin by one of the ten commandments isn't something I will do just because I am rebelling.

I pulled him and kissed him. He kissed me back with the same hunger.

We cuddled until I heard my phone ringing. Si Razael na ang bumangon para kunin iyon.

"Who was it?"

"Jer," Walang gana na sagot nya habang inaabot nya ang cellphone sa akin. Ayoko ng nagsusungit o mukhang walang gana si Razael pero parang lalong ang hot nya tingnan kapag ganoon sya.

He pick a boxer and put it on. Lumabas sya ng kwarto at hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin nya. I immediately answered Jer's call.

"Hindi ka pa ba uuwi? Wow. You're enjoying too much, huh?" May mabining kanta sa background ni Jer. He's probably in his car right now, driving.

Shit.

"U-uuwi na. Susunduin mo na ba ako? Where are you?" Kinakabahan na tanong ko.

He chuckled. "I'm already driving around. I am just waiting for your call. But if you still want to stay there, ikaw ang bahala. Minsan ka lang naman lumuwas."

I bit my lower lip. Kailangan kong isipin ang sasabihin ko dahil baka makahalata si Jer.

"Sige, Jer. Sunduin mo na ako. Are you near? I'll say goodbye to them." Again, I bit my lower lip. I am lying to my bestfriend! Damn it. I'll really burn in hell.

"Uhm, I'll be there in twenty minutes. I'll call. Bye!"

"Bye! Ingat ka." After the call was cut, mabilis akong tumayo at nag ayos. Naabutan ako ni Razael at tinulungan nya akong isara ang zipper ng dress ko. My hair's a freaking mess, lalo na ang make up ko.

"Susunduin ka ba ni Jericho? Saan ka matutulog?" Tanong nya maya maya. Nasa banyo kami ngayon, habang inaayos ko ang make up ko ay sinusuklay nya ang buhok ko.

He looked so focus in brushing my hair. Gusto kong matawa sa ginagawa nya. Hindi bagay sa kanya tapos parang hirap na hirap pa sya kung paanong direksyon susuklayin ang buhok ko.

"Sa condo nya. I need to be at the lobby before he arrives. Hindi ko alam kung nakauwi na sila Matt and the others. Baka makita nila kami." Kinakabahan na sabi ko.

"Hindi ba pwedeng dito ka na lang magpa umaga?"

"Raz," Humarap ako sa kanya. Kanina pa talaga sya hindi ngumingiti. Nababother na ako. "I want to. Pero alam mo naman, diba? Everyone might be suspicious."

He sighed then nod. "I know."

Ngumiti ako, then I cupped his face using my two hands. "Can you smile for me before I go? Kanina ka pa nakasimangot dyan, eh. Parang hindi ka naman nasarapan kanina." I teased.

Lalo syang sumimangot at nagsalubong ang kilay. "This isn't funny, Agnes."

I giggled. "I know. There's nothing funny in f*****g a married man. But here we are." Kibit balikat na sabi ko at muling humarap sa salamin.

Hindi nakapagsalita si Razael, hindi rin sya gumalaw. I just saw his reflection on the glass, he's just idling there.

Hinayaan ko na lang sya nang iwan nya ako at lumabas sya. I finished retouching my makeup. Inayos ko ang mga gamit ko at lumabas na. Naabutan ko si Razael na nakatayo lang sa harap ng glass walls sa living room area. Lumapit ako sa kanya at yinakap sya mula sa likod. He's not moving.

"Galit ka ba?"

Hindi sya nagsalita.

"Raz? Aalis na ako, hindi mo ba ako hahalikan man lang?"

Unti unti syang gumalaw at humarap sa akin. I didn't pull my arms, kaya yakap ko pa rin sya.

He sighed. "I love you." Imbes ay sabi nya lang ulit.

Fuck. Ayan na naman sya. Naka ilang I LOVE YOU na ba sya simula kanina? Grabe. Kinikilig talaga ako eh. Nakakainis 'to si Razael!

He gave me a breathtaking kiss and then I bid him goodbye.

Dirediretso akong naglakad palabas ng lobby the moment that the elevator opened. Walang lingon lingon. Naglakad ako one block away from Gramercy, then I texted Jer where to fetch me. Nagtaka sya bakit hindi ako sa mismong harap ng building naghintay, I just told him na ang daming tao na nakatambay and I find it awkward.

He drove us to his condo.

I texted him that we arrived in Jer's condo and he just responded with 'See you in Isabela'