Blackjack

Chapter 16

Chapter 16 

I woke to the sun shining through the window and my heart feels so full having both my girls in my arms. I don’t want this moment to end, I want to hold them in my arms forever. I have dreamed of having Hayley in my arms since the moment she left. I never stopped loving her and I would do anything to make her mine again. I can only hope that she feels the same way. Suddenly a ringing phone brings me out of my thought. Hayley sits up quickly startled by the disturbance.  

Hayley’s POV 

“Hey Mandy” 

“Girl where the hell are you? I have been trying to reach you all night. Where is Addie? Are you guys ok?” Mandy starts firing question after question 

“Mandy, everything is ok. I’m sorry for scaring you. Addie is with me and she is fine, I have to go for now but will talk to you later.” I say hanging up the phone. I turn back around to see Alex out of bed throwing on some shorts. 

“Hey you should be in bed resting” I say scolding him 

“I’m ok Hayls lets go to the kitchen and get some coffee. I think we have a lot of things to discuss.” Alex says. I take a quick look over at Addie sound asleep, I really hope that she is ok. Last night was ruff and a lot for a young child to take in. I follow Alex out to the kitchen so we can chat about things. The knot in my stomach is making me nauseous. I’m nervous about this chat, what does he want to say? I'm sure he is going to want to share time with Addie, but I don’t know if I'm ready to let her go. She has spent the last 9 years by my side other than school and work we have always been together.  

Alex’s POV 

I sit down with Hayley and pass her a mug of coffee. We sat silently for a few minutes, I could tell she was nervous, I was too. 

“Hayley, I want to talk about last night and where to go from here.” 

“Ok I think that would be good.” She replies 

“I’m very glad that Addie knows I’m her father, I wish that we could have sat down with her under better circumstances but we can’t change that now. I meant everything I said to her last night, I want to be there for her as much as humanly possible. I want to be a part of her life, to be her father but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I wanted to chat like this without Addie so you could tell me what you want.” 

Hayley’s POV 

I sat listening to Alex heart warmed by his concern for how I felt about all of this. I love this man so much, he is so caring, I just wish I had the courage to tell him. Concern for him not feeling the same way and getting in the way of his and Addie’s relationship is holding me back. 

“I want you to be in her life as much as she wants you there. I want you to come to school functions and ballet recitals and anything else she does, I think she wants that. I’m not ready for shared time and things like that but your welcome at our house to see her anytime you want. This will change when I'm ready and when I feel she is ready for that. I also want her to get to know her brother, she will be an amazing big sister. But I don’t want your mother anywhere near her.” I felt very stronley about not letting Mary be a part of Addie’s life. I don’t think she deserves it, and given that Addie knows that she is the reason that her father was absent for the last 9 years I feel like Addie wouldn’t want to know her.  

“I understand why you would feel that way, and I don’t disagree. I have actually cut her out for a while anyway.” Alex replies 

Letting out a sigh of relief “Oh good, I was concerned that would make you mad. I just feel that for now it is best. I also don’t think Addie would be ready for that, knowing that Mary is the reason that she didn’t have her father in her life. As for your father though, I'm fine with him around Addie I think it would be good for her to have a relationship with him.” I say smiling. Greg is a nice man and always treated me like a daughter. When I met Alex and we started dating, Greg pulled me aside one night and told me that he knew who my mother was and what she was like. He told me that if I ever needed anything to let him know. He helped me with the bills when my mother let them get behind, he would opened a checking account for me and would make sure there was enough money in there for me to take care of myself and the house. I never told Alex about it and neither did he. I’m pretty sure that nobody but him and I knew about that. I am forever grateful for all of his help. 

“I could never be mad at you for making a decision based on what you feel is best for our daughter. I want to raise her together, I want....I want us to be a family.” He says trailing off, clearly nervous about my reaction. He wants to be a family, like be together be a family? Does he want to be with me? 

“I think that sounds nice....” I reply. He looks at me excited by my reply. 

“You want that too?” he asks “You want to be a family? The 4 of us?”  

“Yes I do, I have always loved you Alex. That didn’t change because I left.” 

“I have always loved you too, I never stopped loving you.” Alex says grabbing my hand to hold in his. I can feel my cheeks turning red from blush. Is this really happening? He loves me! I don’t think I have ever been happier than I am in this moment. This is all I ever wanted, for us to be a family. To give Addie a loving home with a mother and a father, it feels like that is finally coming true.  

Shortly after Addie strolled into the kitchen looking for us. 

“Hey hun did you sleep ok?” I ask. She nods in reply.  

“I think I'm late for school” she states. 

“I called you in sick figuring you could use the day off.” She smiles at me and sits down at the table with us. We all chat for a little bit just getting to know each other. Addie looks so happy and it warms my heart.