What have we became?

Mom

I'm frozen. My brain it's all over the place. I quickly grab my towel and step back, feeling the cold wall behind me.

" .. s-stop N-Nathan.." I take a deep breath as I'm trying not to get lost in his eyes. My body is screaming to do whatever he wants. I'm fighting for self-control.

"As you wish." His whisper is deep and soft and I can smell the freshness of his his clean skin. Oh God. He stops a few inches from me, his eyes move from mine to my lips and I bite my lower lip. 

"Don't tell me to stop if you're going to look this sexy. " I just can't find anything to say, it's not like me. He casted a spell on me and I fell, really really hard. 

"I.. I.." I mumble some words but nothing that has sense.

"What? Katherine Moore speechless?" he has a smirk on his face, like a predator playing with his pray. I gulp while I study his body. A big, strong chest, still wet from the shower. Six packs that lead the way to his V lines. He's so freaking hot. He puts one hand on the wall behind me and with the other one he strokes my cheek. I lean on it.

"Like what you see?" The jolt of electricity that spark from our contact run trough my body, almost waking me up. I regain my temper and I decide to tease him back. Looking at him through my lashes, I let my index finger run on his collarbone.

"Maybe. And you?" I bite my lower lip again and he almost gasps for air before talking back.

"Absolutely. Without a single doubt." His voice his firm, resolute and he's showing what he says. I stand off the wall and look at him straight in the eyes, feeling his breath on my mouth. 

"I wish this was the right time" I whisper with my mouth just under his ear and he tenses up, anticipating the physical contact. Instead I back up and look back in his eyes.

"My dad is waiting for me outside. If he only knew that you're in here with me, half naked, you would be dead." I smirk and rest against the wall, putting more distance between us. Nathan doesn't give up and closes the space again, making a step closer and putting again his ands on the wall.

"It's absolutely worth it. The view is breathtaking. You're perfect."  I suddenly snap out. What the hell I'm doing? I can't let this happen. No. I don't deserve him, he's a good guy. I can't drag him into my messed up life!

"I wish I was, Nathan. Really. But I'm not right for you." I look at my feet and shake my head. His arms fall down to his sides, leaving me free and I slide away, 

"What are you.." he's confused and follows my moves with a frowning expression.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

My phone buzzing interrupts our conversation and I'm almost glad at it. At least I can get away without hurting him. At least I hope to.

"That's him. I need to go." I'm doing everything I can not to look at him the the eyes. I just don't have the heart, or the will, to stop this connection the we have. He reaches spots in my soul that I never knew, but I'm not the right fit for Nathan. I toss my clothes back on, as quickly as possible, without looking back. 

"Katherine please.." ha grabs my shoulder, stopping me, and puts two fingers under my chin, gently making me stare in his beautiful ocean of black. I raise my hand and I press it on his chest, interrupting his sentence.

"No, don't say it. I'm your best friend, Nathan. Nothing more. I.. I just can't. You deserve a good girl. Forget what happened please, see you tomorrow Nat." He opens and closes his mouth a couple of times and sharp pain begins to spread in my chest. I run out before he sees me cry. I feel so empty, but this is for the best. I rush to the black SUV and I sink in the passenger seat, slamming the car door.

"What's wrong?" My dad looks at me confused but he absolutely cannot know. He would never forgive me to not stick to his orders.

"Nothing dad.. it's just.. mom's death and everything.. you know." I sigh and look out the window, the city flashing outside, the sunset on the horizon. I just don't think that I could stand an interrogation right now.

"I understand baby girl. Erin would be so proud of you. You're a strong, independent young woman, always focused on your goals." I stare at my dad in disbelieve. He never, and I mean never, says my mother's name. Ever. My dad doesn't acknowledge my surprised face, he's focused on the road.

"When I met your mother I was a jerk. Completely out of control." I can see the pain in his eyes. I've never seen him cry, but not everybody express grief the same way. I never talked about it to anyone and he became an hard man to please.

"I used to get into fights, jump from a woman to another... your grandparents were desperate." I little smirk crosses his mouth and I cover my hear, pretending to be horrified.

"Dad please! I don't need the details!" we both laughs and the atmosphere eases up.

"Where do you think you got your temper young lady? You're just like me at your age. However, I met her on my 18 birthday. My parents had organized this massive ball for my "welcome in the adulthood". " He rolls his eye. He never liked formal events, mom always had to force him to go.

"Anyways, I ended up completely drunk that night. I was wandering in the gardens, talking to myself about how I hated all of that. She came searching for me enveloped in that wonderful long white dress, like an angel. I must have seemed an i***t. And I surely acted like one."

- Flashback -

"Carson, you parents are looking for you.." I stop chugging my bourbon bottle and look suspiciously at the skinny girl standing in front of me, with her harms wrapped around herself, protecting her bare shoulders from the cold breeze. 

"And you are?" I point my finger at her but I almost loose my balance, alcohol is starting to kick in. I follow the curves of her body, if I knew her I would absolutely remember something like that.

"Oh, my bad. Erin Adams, nice to meet you." She giggles at my stupid persona, and puts back a lock of dark red hair that escaped her hairstyle. That move, so simple yet so powerful almost hypnotizes me.

"Yeah whatever, say you didn't see me."  I chug the bourbon that I had left and start to walk away, waving at her.

"They are really angry Carson. I suggest you to.." her voice came out a little more harsh and I flipped. I freak out. I angrily walk back, all the alcohol feeding my anger, stopping a few inches from her.

"What?! You suggest me what?! You don't know f*****g nothing about me or my family! Just leave me alone!" I toss the empty bottle near her, but she doesn't even flinch. I don't see it coming. She slaps me across the face so hard that she breaks my lower lip.

"What the.." I back up a little, suddenly completely sober and speechless. She closes the distance and digs he finger in my chest. I look in her blue eyes and I see no fear of me, unlike everyone else. Only determination.

"Stop right there! Yes I don't know you but you don't know me either! Show some respect! I came here to get you inside and that's what I'm gonna do. So stop complaining and start acting like the adult that you should be! Use your balls for something different than f*****g women here and there."

- End flashback -

"Nobody had never had the courage to stand me. That's where I knew she was the one." I burst into laughter.

"She really slapped you?!" My eyes are open wide and I can't belie what I just heard.

"Oh, she also used to beat the crap out of me every time we trained. You got that from your mother. Such a cheater." He glances at me and shakes his head, smiling.

"I can't believe it! The big Boss got his ass kicked from a woman?" I clap my hand a couple of times and laugh again.

"Erin wasn't a simple woman, Katherine. She was something else." He sighs and goes back to his serious and controlled self.

"Dad, thanks for telling me about mom. I really needed that." I make a little smile and he lovingly squeezes my tight. I hold on to his hand, this moments are so rare.

"I love you baby girl, you know that?" He takes a deep breath and looks at me. I didn't even notice but we have already arrived at the restaurant. I take his hand and I place it on my cheek, he rubs his thumb on my jaw.

"I love you too, dad."

* One month later *

Things between me and Nathan are back to normal, we're closer than ever, I still dream about him but it's better this way. He dumped Anna, thank God, but I believe she thinks that's my fault. Things between our gang and Torres' are a little messy but still under control, the informations that I got that night at the club helped us to blow up some of his safe houses. 

* School *

"I can't believe that school will be over in a few days!" Maddie is jumping around while we walk to the parking lot, heading home.

"I know I can't wait!" I just want to have less things to think about, focus on work, laying under the hot sun and maybe a trip to the beach sometimes.

"You're sure you don't want to come with me this summer? I feel bad to leave you here. Plus my grandma won't stop asking about you!" Maddie take my hands in hers and puts them near her hart, making a pouty lip.

"I can't Maddie, you know that. But I won't be alone. Go get some fun, hot boys and don't worry about me." I make a big smile and hug her tight.

"Hey girls." Nathan come from behind us and hugs us both. 

"Hey Nat! You have to promise me you will keep an eye on Katherine when I'm gone, don't do anything stupid!" Maddie fake punches Nathan on his shoulder but suddenly he seems off and look staring at me with a sad expression.

"Actually.. I came here to talk to you about that, Katie.." Nathans rubs his nape and looks down at his feet.

"I better go, I need to start packing." Maddie smacks a kiss on my cheek and runs to her car. I can't even look at her, I'm studying his moves. He stays silent and makes me nervous, I don't have this much patience.

"What are you talking about?" I force him to look at me and he closes his eyes, taking a deep breath.

"My mom is sending me to London for the summer." he spits out the words so fast that I hardly understand what he's saying.

"What?" Please tell me I heard wrong.