Monster's mate

Part X

Today I saw them again. They were on the couch watching news. I came and sat couple of spaces away from them. She looked happy. He looked hooked. On her. 

-You to hit it pretty well considering how you watched her being raped.- I was not trying to be mean. I was mean.  

When I think about everything that happened it becomes pretty clear. Even without my approval she is made to be his mate. He is cruel and very dominant and she is on the other hand gentle as much as he is rough. They complete each other. Me, unfortunately, am much more like him than her. After all, we are family. 

-It is pretty shitty thing to do to your new wedded mate.- I continued provoking them since they chose to ignore me. 

-I would never forgive someone for that, mate or not.- I spoke as I eat sandwich made by Ivan for me. He became my personal assistant for making me happy. 

-That is because you are much stronger than me Sal.- Sara spoke up. Is she patronizing me? I looked at her as an i***t would look at math problem. 

-I on the other hand, put love first.- She gently said.

If she said It any differently, I would have no doubt that she was trying to "poke" me back. I would receive it as her subtle attempt to imply that I put my ego beyond my happiness. But she said it so sweetly. Was she genuinely honest or really good player. Doesn't she sees me as a threat? Am I that irrelevant to not even be worth to be enemy with? And here I am, plotting death to this sweet, innocent angel. 

- At least one of you do.- I was not done being asshole 

For the whole time he didn't spare me a look. His arms around her were burning my intestines. Who am I kidding? Look at me and you will see he does put her first. She is the one embraced by him. Not me. 

-You will understand it when you get a mate.- Saras sweet voice cut through the silence. As she said it, his cheek involuntarily twitched. 

My mate? I don't want my mate. I want your mate. 

-She is too young to have mate.- He spoke up with his hand gripping Sara more tightly. 

He turned his head in my direction -She is still breastfeeding.- 

I couldn't help but laugh at that. Is he ducking serious? Breastfeeding? Is this some kind of fetish of his? Does he want me to breastfeed on him? I laughed again. If it was said in any other content it would be kinky but  given the situation it was just offensive. 

-She is not a baby.- Sara claimed with confused face. Look at that. First time that we are on the same page. 

-She is too me.- Was his usual simple response. 

Then it hit me. He doesn't see me as a women. He doesn't want me the way I want him. For him I am a little sister. Annoying baby that he has to take care of. He cannot stand the thought of me getting mate, not out of the jealousy but because for what we had experienced. I will never be mature enough to have s*x or romantic relationships with anyone- including him. 

I realized, If he doesn't see me as more than a sister- which he doesn't, I can never win this fight. He will always choose her. Will he? 

-Well I am not. As a matter of fact I don't need a mate to get someone to f**k me.- I heatedly said. 

Before I knew it, I felt his hands around my throat. How could he so quickly move? Damn. Even though his hands were pressed on me, his body never came too close to mine. His face was mad but his self control and discipline around me was on spot. The way he held me I knew he pressed just enough to make me scared but not enough to make any damage. Ironically, the only person that got scared was Sara. 

-Roy, honey, stop it! You are hurting her!- I could hear her behind yelping. She sounded genuinely concerned which only made me hate her more. 

-Do not interfere Sara.- He spoke gently but there was noting gentle in it. It was an order and she obeyed. 

Well, thanks on giving up so easily Sara. One simple command and she is ready to bow her tail between her legs. Who could blame her? After all, not more than  few days ago, one of his simple commands got her raped.  

-You don't get to say that.- His grip didn't loose or tighten on my neck. He kept it so well under control. -You don't get to get fucked.-  He spitted the word -f****d- as something beyond disgusting. As something dirty. 

-No one gets to touch you.- He removed his hands from my body. -Not even me. Especially not me.- 

I reached with my arm for his hand but he stepped away -Don't- . 

-Roy, I would rather die than not be touched by you.- Pain colored every word I spoke and yet it was not enough for him. 

-Do you think I don't know what you really want when you say that?- He looked at me but not with desire but pain. Great pain. Pain that will always thrive above everything else when it comes to me. 

-Are you that oblivious to how dirty it makes me feel?- I could see on his always so composed face that he was never more distant than he was right now. 

And yet I wished for no space between us. For my body to breath though his. 

-How can anyone be that entitled Selest?-  He spoke slowly and low. 

I stood from the couch. I don't care about any of this. What I feel is more than desire. I need him. He is me. I stepped closer and he looked at me as father looks at his child. He knows my intentions. He always did. I made small movement towards him. My stomach was burning. I wanted to pass out of the adrenaline rush I felt. 

He shook his head in disapproving matter. -Don't- He whispered. I reached with my arms for the lower part of his T-shirt. For now, I didn't dare to touch more than his clothing. His breathing got heavy. Really heavy. 

-Don't make me do it.- His voice hoarse and croaky. 

-Do what?- I whispered.

-Don't make me cut my own arms for this to stop.-  He leaned closer with his hand insensitively and unapologetically rubbing my face.  -Because I will.- 

-I need you to understand this.- He looked at me desperately. 

-Understand what?- I wanted to sound annoyed but It came out as a cry. 

-That I would rather be cripple than be inside of you, again.- 

Later that evening I was not feeling well. His determination frightened me. I knew he was not joking. If I try to make him want me and If I succeed, he will hurt himself. No doubt in that. Ivan interrupted my thoughts.

-Tonight I will do it.- 

-Do what?- I asked confused. 

He looked at me with this look are you f*****g with me  but instead said -Tonight Sara dies.-