Kathryn's Point of View
Sitting outside on a swing, looking at Colton playing in the sandpit my mind keeps going back to Elijah.
He is even more handsome than before if that is possible.
My heart aches thinking about him.
No matter how hard I've tried I can't seem to move on. I keep pining after him.
I really wished that he'd show up at the hospital. I waited for him. And the heartache and disappointment I felt when he didn't come was devastating.
As much as I wanted to believe his words I couldn't. I still have the messages that he sent. He can deny it all he wants but it's all there. Who else would do that?
I sigh and run my hand through my hair.
I know he has a right to be apart of Colton's life, he deserves a chance. Not for his sake, but for the sake of his parents and my little boy.
I'll need to find a way to deal with him. I want him to see Colton and be a part of his life, but I also want to protect myself and have as little as possible contact with him.
I look up when I hear someone approaching us but relax when I see it's Amy.
She smiles at me and waves.
"Hi. I got your text about Elijah. How are you feeling?" She asks as she comes to sit on the swing next to me.
"Conflicted. I definitely was not ready to face him. And then when he touched me I just lost it. I know at some point I would have to face him again but the longer I can postpone it the better it will be for me. I've been thinking.. Maybe I'll arrange visits with Heather and he can see Colton when he's there. If he wants to that is. Without Rachel. I don't want that woman anywhere near my baby. But I don't think I'm ready to deal with him directly."
She frowns. "Do you think he'd go for that?"
I shrug my shoulders and look at my son again. "I don't know. And I don't really care. This way he can at least see Colton and be part of his life, if he wants to. But he doesn't need to see me."
"You can't avoid seeing him forever. You have a child together and at some point you'll have to see and speak to each other regarding Colton."
I sigh and run my hand through my hair. "Yes I know.. But just for the time being. It's really hard to see him."
She puts her hand on mine. "I know it is. But you just got to rip of the band-aid."
"Last time you said that to me he walked out on us."
Amy purses her lips and gives me a look. "Really Kat?"
I smile at her. "I'm just kidding."
I sigh and look at Colton.
"I will talk to him. I just need some time."
"Fine. Take some time and get yourself together before you talk to him. You guys need to sit down and have a proper conversation. Not just about Colton but about everything. If you don't talk it out, there is always going to be tension between you and it won't be good for Colton."
"Yes. I know. I'll talk to him.. Soon. I promise. But for now I will talk to Heather and she can talk to him."
Amy sigh and nods. "Fine. It's your choice. If you think this is best, I'll support you."
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Heather frowns at me while stirring the coffee.
"Okay, I just want to make sure that I understand you correctly. You don't want to talk to Elijah directly, but you are willing to let him see and get to know Colton when he is with me?" She asks as she hand me the coffee.
I nod at her while taking the cup. "Thank you. And yes. I just need some time before I deal with him directly and I'll just feel safer knowing he's with you when Elijah wants to see him. I know it might sound stupid but I don't want him alone with him yet. It would just be for a little while. until Colton is more familiar with him and well until I'm a bit more at ease with the idea of him handling our son alone."
I take a sip of the coffee while waiting for her reply.
Heather nods after awhile. "Okay. I'll talk to Elijah about Colton. But I don't think he is going to be happy about this arrangement."
I nod. "Oh I know. But for know this is what I need. I just hope he'll give me some space and time. I'll speak with him as soon as I'm ready."
We sit there quite for a while just drinking our coffee, both lost in our thoughts before I look up at her.
"Just one more thing please."
"Sure, what is it?"
"If.. When he comes to see Colton.. I don't want him bringing Rachel. I don't want her around my son."
Heather smiles at me.
"Don't worry dear. He definitely won't be bringing her around your son."
I sigh in relief.
"Thank you. I know they're together and everything but I can't deal with her aswell."
"They're not together."
I frown at her.
"But I thought.. You yourself said."
"Yes I know, I know." She interrupts me. "I thought they were. Turns out they're not and never have been."
I shake my head.
"I don't understand."
She puts her hand on mine and gives me a small smile.
"You shoud really talk to Elijah dear. I know you're not ready yet, but he can explain a few things to you if you are willing to sit down with him and hear him out."
"You believe him?"
She nods. "I do. I really think you should speak with him. As soon as possible."
I frown at her but nod my agreement.
She smiles. "Good, now let's go see what Colton and his grandfather are up to.